All The Fun of the circus
Title: All the fun of the circus
Author: Kiwikatipo
Disclaimer: the characters from Supernatural and BTVS do not belong to me they belong to the great Joss Whedon and Erik Kripke.
Summary: Written For the ‘Slaying the Supernatural’ ficathon. Buffy Winchester set this criteria to follow. Pairings, Faith/John, no non con, no Airhead/Bitchy Buffy, no angst. Wanted a first date that doesn't get interrupted by demons, main characters with real jobs, Buffy and Faith getting along.
***
Buffy Summers walked around the gold and white decorated bridal boutique, checking out the prices on the dresses in the January 2006 sales. Expensive white satin goodness.
That Faith intended to wear a traditional white dress to marry Robin Wood in this upcoming spring came as no true surprise to Buffy. Faith led an apparently very wholesome life the last three years, living with Robin in his hometown New York. Why shouldn’t Faith wear a white dress?
All the daughters and mothers shopping here today made Buffy feel wistful. When newly engaged Buffy got married next year, Joyce would not be by her daughter’s side, to help guide Buffy through the rituals and traditions of weddings.
“No, Danielle, that style won’t suit you because you haven’t lost enough weight!” A mother snapped at her daughter.
“You just want to outshine me like you always do! Even at my own damn wedding.” The daughter burst into tears.
Or perhaps shopping for wedding dresses might not be the fun expedition with Joyce Buffy dreamed it would be.
Buffy looked at her watch. God, had Faith died in her changing cubicle or something?
Buffy never in her wildest dreams expected to go bridal dress shopping with Faith, but finding herself in New York this week, on New Watchers Council business, she dropped in on Faith and Wood. Wood arranged somehow for Buffy to accompany Faith today, on Faith’s previously solo shopping expedition.
Wood suggested to Buffy aside that she persuade Faith to try on gowns with a fur trim.
Kinda whack.
Buffy knocked on the door of Faith’s cubicle. “Hey can I see?”
There was no answer, but did Buffy hear a sniff?
Oh god, poor Faith probably wanted her mother with her too, at this time. Of course from the sounds of Faith’s mother, the woman could very well be passed out drunk on the tasteful black and white, slate tiles of the store floor by now. But this might make wedding dress shopping seem worse for Faith today.
Buffy came into the large cubicle to find a desolate Faith, clad in a white dress, with a fur bodice, sitting on the floor of the changing cubicle.
Faith jerked her head up, dashing her closed fist across her face, to smear away tears. “I can’t fuckin' go through with it B.”
***
The New York demon bar let their patrons smoke. Buffy found the watering hole most stinky, but Faith made it clear she badly needed a nicotine fix.
“So what’s wrong? Spill.” Buffy stirred her cocktail with its olive stick.
“Okay, but if you tell anyone, I swear to God, I will try and kill you this time for real.” Faith sipped her beer. “No not fighting my hardest because I wanna die subconsciously through guilt.”
Buffy raised her eyebrows unimpressed. Faith did mouth off under stress. Faith did too fight her hardest when the two slayers fought in their teens. But Faith needed help today obviously and Buffy was naturally kind hearted. “I can be Discreet Girl.”
“Well, when Robin and I first got sweaty, he told me two days after, I didn’t rock his world believe it or not. I lacked experience.” Faith lit a cigarette. She dragged in smoke.
“Mm.” Buffy murmured neutrally, encouraging Faith to go on.
“And I thought that must be crap, because believe me, Buffy, I’ve done shit. Anyways, when we got to New York, I found out the truth…” Faith gulped down more beer. “Ya know how I’ve always said every guy’s got his kink?”
“Yeah.” Buffy wondered what the hell Wood’s could be. Threesomes?
“Robin’s a, he’s into…” Faith sucked down more smoke from her cigarette.
“Sounds like?” Buffy prompted.
“Robin’s a plushie. He’s got totally more and more into the scene since we’ve been together.” Faith blurted out, immediately dragging more smoke down her lungs, chasing it with beer, to erase the living horror she was now subjected to daily.
“What the heck’s that?” Buffy clutched the stem of her martini glass puzzled.
“He gets off on dressing up like a stuffed animal. And he wants me to dress up like one too, or he can’t get it up anymore, B.” Faith wanted to die from shame. “I have this squirrel costume in my closet. And lately… I have to squeak when I come or he sulks.”
“Oh my god, like leave him. That’s bent. What a sick deviant!” Buffy gasped in horror. “I never got why you stayed with him for so long anyway. Mommy issues much?”
“I dunno, he seemed on the up and up at first ya know?” Faith sighed, analyzing her attraction to Robin clinically. “I just wanted to hook up with a bona fide hero for once.”
“Well duh! That’s why you date people first, before you like leap into bed with them. Get to know their strengths and weaknesses before they see you all birthday suited.” Buffy explained sensibly. “Like, take me and Oz, I knew him as a friend during high school. And when we met in Paris last year, we rediscovered each other as people for two months, before we hit the sheets for mutual fun times.”
“And Willow’s cool with you and Oz? Because those two were so into each other.” Faith had wanted to ask Buffy this before but couldn’t see how to bring it up without sounding a bitch.
“Yeah, but Will’s into everyone she falls in love with. Aren’t we all? First Oz was the one, then Tara, then Kennedy, and now Illyria when she’s Fred.” Buffy felt annoyed at Willow at present, because Willow forget to bring back Dawn, when Willow went visiting a heavenly dimension last month.
Andrew had to retrieve Dawn using a spell book in the end. Two years passed for Dawn on the heavenly dimension. Dawn came back with one year old twins with white feathered wings, and an over fondness for harp music.
“So Willow doesn’t care.” Buffy caught sight of Faith’s doubtful expression. “Look Oz is the guy for me, Faith. Who did I go out with in the past? Riley, Angel and the Immortal. All tall, I was continually straining my neck macking with them. And they patronized me, because of our vast heighty discrepancy. Who did I relate to best? Spike, a guy my height. Oz is compatible with me. We have similar back grounds, interests and we’re the same age, equals.”
“I dunno, at least Robin is human. No offense, Buffy, but I wanna screw humans.” Faith felt definite about this. Kissing Angel that one time. His spit had been cold. Yuck.
“Well that’s kinda narrow minded of you.” Buffy said primly. “Anyway, listen to yourself. You don’t wanna ‘screw’ anyone, find someone to make love with, Faith. Leave Wood, c’mon. Angel and Wesley arranged to have your prison record magically erased years ago.”
The two slayers sat glumly for a second, remembering the two males tragic end.
“You don’t have to be some boring high school principal’s fiancé. What have you always wanted to do, Faith? You can’t enjoy working in that clothing factory as a machinist doing piece work. You gotta seize life by the throat.” Buffy became enthusiastic, encouraging Faith to make a new start in life.
“Well…” Faith thought it over, flicking ash from her cigarette into the ash tray. “Huh, this sounds real retarded, but I always wanted to run away and join the circus. But then I always wanted a puppy too.”
****
Orlando’s Circus traveled around small town middle America, it boasted elephants, lions, one of the last existing freak shows, trapeze artists, amusement rides, mirror mazes.
Faith found employment working in the Circus, as a bumper car attendant. Listening to the music of her choice all day, sorting out the teenagers when they got too rough, seeing the little kids happy faces, it was a cool job. Unlike the roller coaster attendants, Faith didn’t need to hose out vomit from the bumper car seats that often either. Plus, being strong helped her set up and pull down the bumper car ride stand, whenever the circus arrived or left a town.
Vampires always checked out circuses, for a walking candy floss flavored food source.
Faith would spend her evenings staking easy kill, complacent small town vampires, four nights out of seven on average.
Living in the circus was like living in a small village, everyone knew everyone else’s business.
Faith for instance, got to know all about the Circus Strongman’s bizarre love life. Faith and the Strongman always coincided with their Laundromat visits for some reason.
“Christ, do you wet the bed?!” Faith wrinkled her nose tactlessly at the soiled sheets Groo the Barbarian Prince put into the washing machine.
“No.” Groo shook in washing powder over the top of his bed linen. “I met a young lady. She came back to my trailer. She wished me to urinate on her. I thought it must be a local custom and did not wish to offend in any way.”
“And you get off on that?” Faith folded her warm jeans fresh from the dryer.
“Oh no, but I wish to please my partner always.” Groo inserted the coins in the washing machine ruefully.
One time Faith reading a magazine, waiting for her clothes to finish their spin cycle, was distracted by Groo pulling off his T-shirt. God, the guy had a six pack to die for.
He had weird bruises on his back. Along his spine were small black and yellow circles.
“What happened to your back, bud?” Faith flipped over a magazine page, to continue reading about movie stars mansion renovations. Faith considered recently, painting the interior of her own shabby trailer.
“Oh. I met a young lady. She came back to my trailer. She desired to walk up and down my back in high heel shoes. I thought it must be another local custom and did not wish to offend in any way.” Groo tossed his discarded t-shirt into the washing machine.
“And did that cause you to reach freaking Nirvana?” Faith handed him change for the washing machine.
“No, it was most uncomfortable, but I desired to make her happy.” Groo banged the machine to make it work, leaving a dent in the metal lid.
Faith got talking to Groo about her interior decoration plans. Somehow he wound up helping her buy cans of paint from the local hardware store.
He came back to her trailer the next morning, to help her fix up her abode.
“So what country in Europe are you from pal?” Faith asked him, sweeping the kitchen cupboards a cheerful yellow.
“I’m from Pylea.” Groo carefully painted the battered wooden chairs navy blue.
“What, like the hell dimension?” Faith paused mid brush stroke surprised.
“Why yes, not that many people know of it.” Groo continued painting unflappably. “How do you?”
Faith and Groo found out they knew a lot of the same dead people.
Faith discovered Groo not to be the freak she first thought. The type of chicks who were attracted to Groo because of his leather clad strongman get up, tended to have outré tastes in bed.
Faith and Groo became quite friendly, but Faith didn’t sleep with him. He was a demon and Faith decided to have high sexual standards for once in her new start in life. She didn’t have any one night stands for example, keeping Buffy’s advice in mind.
Faith almost got serious with the guy who ran the shooting gallery, but found out in time he was a speed addict. A turn off.
Many of the carny people on the concessions stands were into speed. It could get very dull working on the stands all day.
Faith found staking vampires enough of a thrill to get her through life in her mid-twenties. Occasionally Groo helped her with patrolling. Groo mostly seemed interested in tracking down local lake monsters, wendigos and sashquatchs’ and killing them. Sometimes Faith assisted him in turn.
***
A new person started to work at the shooting gallery, after the Circus stopped in a small town in Illinois, May 2006. He was an older guy, ex marine. John Winchester kept to himself.
One Monday, a week after John started working for the circus, it poured with rain. Not many people turned up because of the weather. The manager of the bumper cars told Faith to take a long lunch break. Faith walked over to John’s stand, seeking entertainment.
John struggled to hold down plastic covers over the prizes on display, to stop them getting wet. Faith noticed a big, furry, teddy bear and shuddered. Bad flash backs from her time with Robin flooded her mind. Once Robin wanted her to go to a plushie convention with him. A banker dressed as Pooh Bear had come onto her.
“Need a hand?” Faith offered, putting her bad memories aside and focusing on the present.
“Yeah thanks.” John smiled at her. “You’re Faith aren’t you?”
John owned a real nice smile. For an older guy he was smoking hot.
After Faith helped John waterproof his stand, she stayed and chatted to him awhile. John asked her out to have dinner with him that night. Faith having staked all the vamps in town previously, agreed immediately.
“So this a date?” Faith smirked.
“Yeah, guess it is. Although I should be shot, because you’re young enough to be my daughter.” John worried.
“Good thing I’m not then.” Faith left in triumph and went over to see Groo next.
Groo tended a small wriggling bundle, in a box in his show tent. Also having a quiet day, Groo was feeding the creature in the box with chunks of raw meat.
“What the fuck is that thing?” Faith squatted down, to peer at the most ugly baby animal she saw to date in her life.
“It’s a hellhound. They make excellent trackers and are most sweet tempered and loyal, if raised with kindness.” Groo passed her a bloodied cube of flesh. “Here, you feed Scamp.”
The hellhound cub licked at Faith’s fingers. “He’s kinda cute I guess, in his own hairless, hideous way.”
***
Dinner with John took place in an Italian restaurant. The only restaurant in town.
With old fashioned courtesy John pulled Faith’s chair out for her.
After the waiter brought their drinks over, widower John, showed Faith photos of his sons he kept in his wallet. Dean the oldest, was a year older than Faith it turned out.
“Like I’ve said John. I’m not your daughter. Don’t get hung up about the fact I’m twenty five and you’re forty eight. ” Faith flicked her hair back flirtatiously. Her long silver earrings sparkled in the candle light.
Faith dressed with care for her date tonight. The way John kept staring at Faith’s breasts when he thought she wasn’t looking, proved the exorbitant amount of money she paid for her clinging black top back in New York, to be well worth the expenditure.
They discussed their single status. Faith was puzzled as to why John never remarried. She supposed he must still be in love with his dead wife. How obsessed, she’d been dead for over twenty years for Christ’s sake.
But John made her laugh with his tales of the army life. Con men and psychopaths often were charming, Faith reminded herself. But on the whole Faith enjoyed his company and the meal.
During the entrée, Faith carefully raised a forkful of chicken pasta to her lips. Out of the corner of her eye she caught sight of a mucus demon, gliding down the street. Shit, those things were very dangerous to the general public. Now her dinner date would be brought to a premature end.
She put her fork down regretfully, prepared to make up some crap excuse on the spot about why she needed to leave. Groo however unexpectedly appeared on the main road, he proceeded to nimbly behead the demon. Groo spotted Faith through the window of the restaurant, he gave her the thumbs up signal.
Faith grinned at him and waved back cheerfully.
“The Strongman a friend of yours?” John noticed Groo, but missed out on spotting the demon being taken care of.
“Yeah, we’re kinda best buds in a way.” Faith leaned her chin over one hand thoughtfully. “So why are you working at the shooting gallery? Why don’t you set up a garage somewhere in Kansas, like you did before?”
“Uh, just like traveling I guess.” John lifted his wine glass in toast. “To the rain gods, for making us meet today.”
A lot of people in the circus kept secrets. Faith didn’t probe further.
John walked her back to her trailer at the end of their date.
“Well good night then.” Faith didn’t invite John in for coffee, she’d run out, and offering it in the first place could be seen by some morons as a sexual invitation.
“Good night.” John bent to kiss her good bye on the cheek. Faith twisted her head around purposely so their mouths met.
His lips were warm and confident upon her own. They French kissed gently for a few minutes. Feeling his errection through his trousers, pressing against her waist, Faith almost crumbled and asked him inside her trailer. But no! Ms. Faith new start Lehane did not do that type of thing anymore. God damn you, Buffy Summers, with your stupid advice!
Faith entered her trailer alone and got off using her hand alone. Her time in prison made her the most speedy masturbator in the world probably.
And as Woody Allen once famously said, at least solo gratification was having sex with someone you loved. Not that Faith loved herself exactly, but she didn’t hate herself anymore either.
***
The next day Faith and the rest of the circus were busy driving to their new location a small town on the border of Iowa and Illinois.
Once set up, Faith hit the local cemeteries vampire slaying. She found three vampires. She also ran into John Winchester doing the same do gooding task as her.
Finally the vampires were dust, Faith sat on a tombstone, waiting to hear John’s explanation. “So uh, you some kind of fearless vampire hunter John-boy?”
It turned out John was a relentless demon hunter. Looking for the demon that killed his wife. The only good demon was a dead demon in his books.
“Kinda an extreme attitude you got there.” Faith kicked her heels uncomfortably against the headstone of ‘Harvey Drop 1891 to 1918’.
Faith must warn Groo to keep a low profile.
Faith supposed this ceiling demon shit, really accounted for why John never remarried, his fanatical quest for revenge preventing him from finding happiness with another woman.
Again John walked her back to her trailer, he came inside this time and they made out gropingly on Faith’s bed. Feeling a total cocktease, she kicked him out after half an hour, because by her new standards it was still too soon to interlock their genitals.
Faith climaxed once more alone. God it was unsatisfying compared to fucking another human.
***
The next night Faith encountered a type of vampire she’d never seen before. They didn’t explode into dust when killed.
The main group of vampires escaped. Faith felt very on edge, not having the release of the kill.
She couldn’t stand the unrelieved sexual tension between her and John anymore.
Faith pushed John into the back seat of her car. Grabbing her ‘just in case she drank too much in a bar’ condom out of her jacket pocket.
“Fuck me.” She gasped, tearing the condom wrapper open with her teeth.
“Rubbers don’t fit me, aren’t you gals all on the pill?” John grumbled.
“No.” Faith was on the injection while with Robin, but that birth control method only lasted three months. And as for a rubber not fitting Winchester’s dick. Why Faith never heard such crap. Not fit him? Christ, you could fill a condom with a can of Coke and turn it into a water balloon. No one was that huge. And John was distinctly average. Disappointingly so, for someone his height.
Faith rolled the condom on John and sat astride him. God she needed this. She raised and lowered herself six times, getting into it.
John ejaculated and looked very unappealing as he came.
Faith’s jaw dropped open in shock. What the fuck?
Remembering that Faith was now one of the good guys, and not allowed to stab him with a knife for sexually disappointing her this way, Faith shuffled up his body to sit on his face, prepared generously to allow him to get her off orally instead.
John pushed her away. “I’m not really into it.” He found her groin with his hands and rubbed inexpertly with clumsy hands. Faith obviously needed to give the guy a map to locate her clitoris. He finally found her clit with his thumb, his rhythm was steady but he pressed too hard. Like he resented Faith pressuring him to make her come.
Jesus Christ, how sexually lousy and selfish could a person be?
“Forget it, John, this isn’t working.” Faith climbed off him and pulled her jeans and panties back up.
They drove back in silence to the circus.
Faith still feeling frustrated, invited John Winchester back in her trailer for one more chance. After all, had Faith not been given second chances by people?
She even went on the bottom, in case she’d come on too strong for Mr. Old Fashioned, before.
Faith was kinda expecting John to devote lots of time to foreplay, to make up to her the crap performance of before. But after checking she was wet, John got straight down to business. To give him credit, John raised his weight off her with his arms like a gentleman. He thrust into her hard ten times and came.
He fumbled at her clit once more. Faith pushed him away irritated and got off herself.
Faith couldn’t hold back the question. “Do you normally come this freaking fast?”
“Yes.” John muttered, climbing out of bed and pulling on his clothes.
“You can take medication and stuff to slow you down I’ve heard. Get counseling.” Faith thought it only humanitarian to point this out.
John left her trailer without speaking.
Okay, Faith now totally sussed out why John Winchester never remarried. A) Mary Winchester had to be a virgin when they got married, thus never knowing anything different in bed from John’s pathetic performance, so he still carried a torch for her B) John was a misogynist deep down C) No other woman would want to spend her life with such a sexual dud.
Oh god, Buffy was right. If Faith had not slept with John after only three days of knowing him, she would have guessed sooner or later he would turn out to be basically useless in bed.
***
The next day John Winchester took off for parts unknown permanently. The manager of the shooting gallery didn’t care. There were always spare folks around to man the stands.
Faith was profoundly grateful, she’d hopefully never have to lay eyes on Winchester again.
Faith went and saw Groo that evening in his trailer, bringing along with her a bone for his puppy.
Groo was such a nice guy, even if he was a demon.
“Do you like me?” Faith asked him, as she sat on the floor, playing with his hellhound puppy.
“Very much so.” Groo squatted beside her.
“Do you wanna, uh, do you wanna make love?” Faith put her head down suddenly shy. There was a million to one chance he’d say no maybe, and then she’d feel deficient.
Groo kissed her hungrily in response to her question. What a relief, he was clearly keen.
Groo scooped up and carried Faith over to his bed. He produced a selection of three condom brands to choose from. ‘Ribbed for her pleasure’ ‘Chocolate flavored for both parties pleasure’ and ‘Sylk for extra sensual sensation’.
Faith played eneey, meany, miny, moe, ending up with the ribbed condom being inserted inside her, enclosing Groo’s decent sized hard on, after twenty minutes of foreplay.
Groo lasted a very long time. Faith climaxed thrice, due to his sexual prowess. Groo definitely knew where a woman’s clitoris was.
But Robin seemed normal the first time Faith screwed him too.
Groo kissed Faith on the hair, stroking her bare back.
“Does this mean you’re my girlfriend now, Faith? Because I would like that to be the case very much.” Groo gazed at her with hopeful eyes.
‘Um, I’d like to be, but…” A brainwave struck Faith. She got out of bed, scrambling into her clothes. “Hold on, Groo, I’ll be right back.”
Faith sprinted across to her trailer. She flicked frantically through a pile of magazines, she kept stored under her bed. She ripped certain pages out, shoving them quickly into a folder.
She raced back to Groo’s trailer and slammed the door shut.
Groo was still lying naked in bed, watching television. He flicked off the TV with the remote, when she entered his wheeled abode.
“Okay, I want you to tell me what you’d want to do with these items when I show them to you, pal. Your first impulse.” Faith explained. She held up her first picture.
“It’s a sheep. Lamb chops, or I’d shear it.” Groo decided.
Not sodomize it. Good. Faith held up her second picture.
“A ping pong bat. I’d play ping pong with it.” Groo did not hesitate a second.
Again good, he’d didn’t want to smack her ass-cheeks with the bat until they turned beet red.
Faith held up a picture of a teenage girl, in Catholic school uniform.
“Give her directions to the ghost train ride.”
Hand cuffs were shown.
“Find the security guard who dropped them.”
This rocked, as Spike of all creatures pointed out to Faith, once she came out of prison, she found bondage and discipline old hat.
Groo passed the test of word associations with the remaining pictures with flying colors.
Faith hastily removed her clothes and crawled back into bed with him.
“Groo.” Faith told the Champion of Pylea pleased, as he began to make tender love to her once more. “I think this is the start of a beautiful relationship.”
***
Author: Kiwikatipo
Disclaimer: the characters from Supernatural and BTVS do not belong to me they belong to the great Joss Whedon and Erik Kripke.
Summary: Written For the ‘Slaying the Supernatural’ ficathon. Buffy Winchester set this criteria to follow. Pairings, Faith/John, no non con, no Airhead/Bitchy Buffy, no angst. Wanted a first date that doesn't get interrupted by demons, main characters with real jobs, Buffy and Faith getting along.
***
Buffy Summers walked around the gold and white decorated bridal boutique, checking out the prices on the dresses in the January 2006 sales. Expensive white satin goodness.
That Faith intended to wear a traditional white dress to marry Robin Wood in this upcoming spring came as no true surprise to Buffy. Faith led an apparently very wholesome life the last three years, living with Robin in his hometown New York. Why shouldn’t Faith wear a white dress?
All the daughters and mothers shopping here today made Buffy feel wistful. When newly engaged Buffy got married next year, Joyce would not be by her daughter’s side, to help guide Buffy through the rituals and traditions of weddings.
“No, Danielle, that style won’t suit you because you haven’t lost enough weight!” A mother snapped at her daughter.
“You just want to outshine me like you always do! Even at my own damn wedding.” The daughter burst into tears.
Or perhaps shopping for wedding dresses might not be the fun expedition with Joyce Buffy dreamed it would be.
Buffy looked at her watch. God, had Faith died in her changing cubicle or something?
Buffy never in her wildest dreams expected to go bridal dress shopping with Faith, but finding herself in New York this week, on New Watchers Council business, she dropped in on Faith and Wood. Wood arranged somehow for Buffy to accompany Faith today, on Faith’s previously solo shopping expedition.
Wood suggested to Buffy aside that she persuade Faith to try on gowns with a fur trim.
Kinda whack.
Buffy knocked on the door of Faith’s cubicle. “Hey can I see?”
There was no answer, but did Buffy hear a sniff?
Oh god, poor Faith probably wanted her mother with her too, at this time. Of course from the sounds of Faith’s mother, the woman could very well be passed out drunk on the tasteful black and white, slate tiles of the store floor by now. But this might make wedding dress shopping seem worse for Faith today.
Buffy came into the large cubicle to find a desolate Faith, clad in a white dress, with a fur bodice, sitting on the floor of the changing cubicle.
Faith jerked her head up, dashing her closed fist across her face, to smear away tears. “I can’t fuckin' go through with it B.”
***
The New York demon bar let their patrons smoke. Buffy found the watering hole most stinky, but Faith made it clear she badly needed a nicotine fix.
“So what’s wrong? Spill.” Buffy stirred her cocktail with its olive stick.
“Okay, but if you tell anyone, I swear to God, I will try and kill you this time for real.” Faith sipped her beer. “No not fighting my hardest because I wanna die subconsciously through guilt.”
Buffy raised her eyebrows unimpressed. Faith did mouth off under stress. Faith did too fight her hardest when the two slayers fought in their teens. But Faith needed help today obviously and Buffy was naturally kind hearted. “I can be Discreet Girl.”
“Well, when Robin and I first got sweaty, he told me two days after, I didn’t rock his world believe it or not. I lacked experience.” Faith lit a cigarette. She dragged in smoke.
“Mm.” Buffy murmured neutrally, encouraging Faith to go on.
“And I thought that must be crap, because believe me, Buffy, I’ve done shit. Anyways, when we got to New York, I found out the truth…” Faith gulped down more beer. “Ya know how I’ve always said every guy’s got his kink?”
“Yeah.” Buffy wondered what the hell Wood’s could be. Threesomes?
“Robin’s a, he’s into…” Faith sucked down more smoke from her cigarette.
“Sounds like?” Buffy prompted.
“Robin’s a plushie. He’s got totally more and more into the scene since we’ve been together.” Faith blurted out, immediately dragging more smoke down her lungs, chasing it with beer, to erase the living horror she was now subjected to daily.
“What the heck’s that?” Buffy clutched the stem of her martini glass puzzled.
“He gets off on dressing up like a stuffed animal. And he wants me to dress up like one too, or he can’t get it up anymore, B.” Faith wanted to die from shame. “I have this squirrel costume in my closet. And lately… I have to squeak when I come or he sulks.”
“Oh my god, like leave him. That’s bent. What a sick deviant!” Buffy gasped in horror. “I never got why you stayed with him for so long anyway. Mommy issues much?”
“I dunno, he seemed on the up and up at first ya know?” Faith sighed, analyzing her attraction to Robin clinically. “I just wanted to hook up with a bona fide hero for once.”
“Well duh! That’s why you date people first, before you like leap into bed with them. Get to know their strengths and weaknesses before they see you all birthday suited.” Buffy explained sensibly. “Like, take me and Oz, I knew him as a friend during high school. And when we met in Paris last year, we rediscovered each other as people for two months, before we hit the sheets for mutual fun times.”
“And Willow’s cool with you and Oz? Because those two were so into each other.” Faith had wanted to ask Buffy this before but couldn’t see how to bring it up without sounding a bitch.
“Yeah, but Will’s into everyone she falls in love with. Aren’t we all? First Oz was the one, then Tara, then Kennedy, and now Illyria when she’s Fred.” Buffy felt annoyed at Willow at present, because Willow forget to bring back Dawn, when Willow went visiting a heavenly dimension last month.
Andrew had to retrieve Dawn using a spell book in the end. Two years passed for Dawn on the heavenly dimension. Dawn came back with one year old twins with white feathered wings, and an over fondness for harp music.
“So Willow doesn’t care.” Buffy caught sight of Faith’s doubtful expression. “Look Oz is the guy for me, Faith. Who did I go out with in the past? Riley, Angel and the Immortal. All tall, I was continually straining my neck macking with them. And they patronized me, because of our vast heighty discrepancy. Who did I relate to best? Spike, a guy my height. Oz is compatible with me. We have similar back grounds, interests and we’re the same age, equals.”
“I dunno, at least Robin is human. No offense, Buffy, but I wanna screw humans.” Faith felt definite about this. Kissing Angel that one time. His spit had been cold. Yuck.
“Well that’s kinda narrow minded of you.” Buffy said primly. “Anyway, listen to yourself. You don’t wanna ‘screw’ anyone, find someone to make love with, Faith. Leave Wood, c’mon. Angel and Wesley arranged to have your prison record magically erased years ago.”
The two slayers sat glumly for a second, remembering the two males tragic end.
“You don’t have to be some boring high school principal’s fiancé. What have you always wanted to do, Faith? You can’t enjoy working in that clothing factory as a machinist doing piece work. You gotta seize life by the throat.” Buffy became enthusiastic, encouraging Faith to make a new start in life.
“Well…” Faith thought it over, flicking ash from her cigarette into the ash tray. “Huh, this sounds real retarded, but I always wanted to run away and join the circus. But then I always wanted a puppy too.”
****
Orlando’s Circus traveled around small town middle America, it boasted elephants, lions, one of the last existing freak shows, trapeze artists, amusement rides, mirror mazes.
Faith found employment working in the Circus, as a bumper car attendant. Listening to the music of her choice all day, sorting out the teenagers when they got too rough, seeing the little kids happy faces, it was a cool job. Unlike the roller coaster attendants, Faith didn’t need to hose out vomit from the bumper car seats that often either. Plus, being strong helped her set up and pull down the bumper car ride stand, whenever the circus arrived or left a town.
Vampires always checked out circuses, for a walking candy floss flavored food source.
Faith would spend her evenings staking easy kill, complacent small town vampires, four nights out of seven on average.
Living in the circus was like living in a small village, everyone knew everyone else’s business.
Faith for instance, got to know all about the Circus Strongman’s bizarre love life. Faith and the Strongman always coincided with their Laundromat visits for some reason.
“Christ, do you wet the bed?!” Faith wrinkled her nose tactlessly at the soiled sheets Groo the Barbarian Prince put into the washing machine.
“No.” Groo shook in washing powder over the top of his bed linen. “I met a young lady. She came back to my trailer. She wished me to urinate on her. I thought it must be a local custom and did not wish to offend in any way.”
“And you get off on that?” Faith folded her warm jeans fresh from the dryer.
“Oh no, but I wish to please my partner always.” Groo inserted the coins in the washing machine ruefully.
One time Faith reading a magazine, waiting for her clothes to finish their spin cycle, was distracted by Groo pulling off his T-shirt. God, the guy had a six pack to die for.
He had weird bruises on his back. Along his spine were small black and yellow circles.
“What happened to your back, bud?” Faith flipped over a magazine page, to continue reading about movie stars mansion renovations. Faith considered recently, painting the interior of her own shabby trailer.
“Oh. I met a young lady. She came back to my trailer. She desired to walk up and down my back in high heel shoes. I thought it must be another local custom and did not wish to offend in any way.” Groo tossed his discarded t-shirt into the washing machine.
“And did that cause you to reach freaking Nirvana?” Faith handed him change for the washing machine.
“No, it was most uncomfortable, but I desired to make her happy.” Groo banged the machine to make it work, leaving a dent in the metal lid.
Faith got talking to Groo about her interior decoration plans. Somehow he wound up helping her buy cans of paint from the local hardware store.
He came back to her trailer the next morning, to help her fix up her abode.
“So what country in Europe are you from pal?” Faith asked him, sweeping the kitchen cupboards a cheerful yellow.
“I’m from Pylea.” Groo carefully painted the battered wooden chairs navy blue.
“What, like the hell dimension?” Faith paused mid brush stroke surprised.
“Why yes, not that many people know of it.” Groo continued painting unflappably. “How do you?”
Faith and Groo found out they knew a lot of the same dead people.
Faith discovered Groo not to be the freak she first thought. The type of chicks who were attracted to Groo because of his leather clad strongman get up, tended to have outré tastes in bed.
Faith and Groo became quite friendly, but Faith didn’t sleep with him. He was a demon and Faith decided to have high sexual standards for once in her new start in life. She didn’t have any one night stands for example, keeping Buffy’s advice in mind.
Faith almost got serious with the guy who ran the shooting gallery, but found out in time he was a speed addict. A turn off.
Many of the carny people on the concessions stands were into speed. It could get very dull working on the stands all day.
Faith found staking vampires enough of a thrill to get her through life in her mid-twenties. Occasionally Groo helped her with patrolling. Groo mostly seemed interested in tracking down local lake monsters, wendigos and sashquatchs’ and killing them. Sometimes Faith assisted him in turn.
***
A new person started to work at the shooting gallery, after the Circus stopped in a small town in Illinois, May 2006. He was an older guy, ex marine. John Winchester kept to himself.
One Monday, a week after John started working for the circus, it poured with rain. Not many people turned up because of the weather. The manager of the bumper cars told Faith to take a long lunch break. Faith walked over to John’s stand, seeking entertainment.
John struggled to hold down plastic covers over the prizes on display, to stop them getting wet. Faith noticed a big, furry, teddy bear and shuddered. Bad flash backs from her time with Robin flooded her mind. Once Robin wanted her to go to a plushie convention with him. A banker dressed as Pooh Bear had come onto her.
“Need a hand?” Faith offered, putting her bad memories aside and focusing on the present.
“Yeah thanks.” John smiled at her. “You’re Faith aren’t you?”
John owned a real nice smile. For an older guy he was smoking hot.
After Faith helped John waterproof his stand, she stayed and chatted to him awhile. John asked her out to have dinner with him that night. Faith having staked all the vamps in town previously, agreed immediately.
“So this a date?” Faith smirked.
“Yeah, guess it is. Although I should be shot, because you’re young enough to be my daughter.” John worried.
“Good thing I’m not then.” Faith left in triumph and went over to see Groo next.
Groo tended a small wriggling bundle, in a box in his show tent. Also having a quiet day, Groo was feeding the creature in the box with chunks of raw meat.
“What the fuck is that thing?” Faith squatted down, to peer at the most ugly baby animal she saw to date in her life.
“It’s a hellhound. They make excellent trackers and are most sweet tempered and loyal, if raised with kindness.” Groo passed her a bloodied cube of flesh. “Here, you feed Scamp.”
The hellhound cub licked at Faith’s fingers. “He’s kinda cute I guess, in his own hairless, hideous way.”
***
Dinner with John took place in an Italian restaurant. The only restaurant in town.
With old fashioned courtesy John pulled Faith’s chair out for her.
After the waiter brought their drinks over, widower John, showed Faith photos of his sons he kept in his wallet. Dean the oldest, was a year older than Faith it turned out.
“Like I’ve said John. I’m not your daughter. Don’t get hung up about the fact I’m twenty five and you’re forty eight. ” Faith flicked her hair back flirtatiously. Her long silver earrings sparkled in the candle light.
Faith dressed with care for her date tonight. The way John kept staring at Faith’s breasts when he thought she wasn’t looking, proved the exorbitant amount of money she paid for her clinging black top back in New York, to be well worth the expenditure.
They discussed their single status. Faith was puzzled as to why John never remarried. She supposed he must still be in love with his dead wife. How obsessed, she’d been dead for over twenty years for Christ’s sake.
But John made her laugh with his tales of the army life. Con men and psychopaths often were charming, Faith reminded herself. But on the whole Faith enjoyed his company and the meal.
During the entrée, Faith carefully raised a forkful of chicken pasta to her lips. Out of the corner of her eye she caught sight of a mucus demon, gliding down the street. Shit, those things were very dangerous to the general public. Now her dinner date would be brought to a premature end.
She put her fork down regretfully, prepared to make up some crap excuse on the spot about why she needed to leave. Groo however unexpectedly appeared on the main road, he proceeded to nimbly behead the demon. Groo spotted Faith through the window of the restaurant, he gave her the thumbs up signal.
Faith grinned at him and waved back cheerfully.
“The Strongman a friend of yours?” John noticed Groo, but missed out on spotting the demon being taken care of.
“Yeah, we’re kinda best buds in a way.” Faith leaned her chin over one hand thoughtfully. “So why are you working at the shooting gallery? Why don’t you set up a garage somewhere in Kansas, like you did before?”
“Uh, just like traveling I guess.” John lifted his wine glass in toast. “To the rain gods, for making us meet today.”
A lot of people in the circus kept secrets. Faith didn’t probe further.
John walked her back to her trailer at the end of their date.
“Well good night then.” Faith didn’t invite John in for coffee, she’d run out, and offering it in the first place could be seen by some morons as a sexual invitation.
“Good night.” John bent to kiss her good bye on the cheek. Faith twisted her head around purposely so their mouths met.
His lips were warm and confident upon her own. They French kissed gently for a few minutes. Feeling his errection through his trousers, pressing against her waist, Faith almost crumbled and asked him inside her trailer. But no! Ms. Faith new start Lehane did not do that type of thing anymore. God damn you, Buffy Summers, with your stupid advice!
Faith entered her trailer alone and got off using her hand alone. Her time in prison made her the most speedy masturbator in the world probably.
And as Woody Allen once famously said, at least solo gratification was having sex with someone you loved. Not that Faith loved herself exactly, but she didn’t hate herself anymore either.
***
The next day Faith and the rest of the circus were busy driving to their new location a small town on the border of Iowa and Illinois.
Once set up, Faith hit the local cemeteries vampire slaying. She found three vampires. She also ran into John Winchester doing the same do gooding task as her.
Finally the vampires were dust, Faith sat on a tombstone, waiting to hear John’s explanation. “So uh, you some kind of fearless vampire hunter John-boy?”
It turned out John was a relentless demon hunter. Looking for the demon that killed his wife. The only good demon was a dead demon in his books.
“Kinda an extreme attitude you got there.” Faith kicked her heels uncomfortably against the headstone of ‘Harvey Drop 1891 to 1918’.
Faith must warn Groo to keep a low profile.
Faith supposed this ceiling demon shit, really accounted for why John never remarried, his fanatical quest for revenge preventing him from finding happiness with another woman.
Again John walked her back to her trailer, he came inside this time and they made out gropingly on Faith’s bed. Feeling a total cocktease, she kicked him out after half an hour, because by her new standards it was still too soon to interlock their genitals.
Faith climaxed once more alone. God it was unsatisfying compared to fucking another human.
***
The next night Faith encountered a type of vampire she’d never seen before. They didn’t explode into dust when killed.
The main group of vampires escaped. Faith felt very on edge, not having the release of the kill.
She couldn’t stand the unrelieved sexual tension between her and John anymore.
Faith pushed John into the back seat of her car. Grabbing her ‘just in case she drank too much in a bar’ condom out of her jacket pocket.
“Fuck me.” She gasped, tearing the condom wrapper open with her teeth.
“Rubbers don’t fit me, aren’t you gals all on the pill?” John grumbled.
“No.” Faith was on the injection while with Robin, but that birth control method only lasted three months. And as for a rubber not fitting Winchester’s dick. Why Faith never heard such crap. Not fit him? Christ, you could fill a condom with a can of Coke and turn it into a water balloon. No one was that huge. And John was distinctly average. Disappointingly so, for someone his height.
Faith rolled the condom on John and sat astride him. God she needed this. She raised and lowered herself six times, getting into it.
John ejaculated and looked very unappealing as he came.
Faith’s jaw dropped open in shock. What the fuck?
Remembering that Faith was now one of the good guys, and not allowed to stab him with a knife for sexually disappointing her this way, Faith shuffled up his body to sit on his face, prepared generously to allow him to get her off orally instead.
John pushed her away. “I’m not really into it.” He found her groin with his hands and rubbed inexpertly with clumsy hands. Faith obviously needed to give the guy a map to locate her clitoris. He finally found her clit with his thumb, his rhythm was steady but he pressed too hard. Like he resented Faith pressuring him to make her come.
Jesus Christ, how sexually lousy and selfish could a person be?
“Forget it, John, this isn’t working.” Faith climbed off him and pulled her jeans and panties back up.
They drove back in silence to the circus.
Faith still feeling frustrated, invited John Winchester back in her trailer for one more chance. After all, had Faith not been given second chances by people?
She even went on the bottom, in case she’d come on too strong for Mr. Old Fashioned, before.
Faith was kinda expecting John to devote lots of time to foreplay, to make up to her the crap performance of before. But after checking she was wet, John got straight down to business. To give him credit, John raised his weight off her with his arms like a gentleman. He thrust into her hard ten times and came.
He fumbled at her clit once more. Faith pushed him away irritated and got off herself.
Faith couldn’t hold back the question. “Do you normally come this freaking fast?”
“Yes.” John muttered, climbing out of bed and pulling on his clothes.
“You can take medication and stuff to slow you down I’ve heard. Get counseling.” Faith thought it only humanitarian to point this out.
John left her trailer without speaking.
Okay, Faith now totally sussed out why John Winchester never remarried. A) Mary Winchester had to be a virgin when they got married, thus never knowing anything different in bed from John’s pathetic performance, so he still carried a torch for her B) John was a misogynist deep down C) No other woman would want to spend her life with such a sexual dud.
Oh god, Buffy was right. If Faith had not slept with John after only three days of knowing him, she would have guessed sooner or later he would turn out to be basically useless in bed.
***
The next day John Winchester took off for parts unknown permanently. The manager of the shooting gallery didn’t care. There were always spare folks around to man the stands.
Faith was profoundly grateful, she’d hopefully never have to lay eyes on Winchester again.
Faith went and saw Groo that evening in his trailer, bringing along with her a bone for his puppy.
Groo was such a nice guy, even if he was a demon.
“Do you like me?” Faith asked him, as she sat on the floor, playing with his hellhound puppy.
“Very much so.” Groo squatted beside her.
“Do you wanna, uh, do you wanna make love?” Faith put her head down suddenly shy. There was a million to one chance he’d say no maybe, and then she’d feel deficient.
Groo kissed her hungrily in response to her question. What a relief, he was clearly keen.
Groo scooped up and carried Faith over to his bed. He produced a selection of three condom brands to choose from. ‘Ribbed for her pleasure’ ‘Chocolate flavored for both parties pleasure’ and ‘Sylk for extra sensual sensation’.
Faith played eneey, meany, miny, moe, ending up with the ribbed condom being inserted inside her, enclosing Groo’s decent sized hard on, after twenty minutes of foreplay.
Groo lasted a very long time. Faith climaxed thrice, due to his sexual prowess. Groo definitely knew where a woman’s clitoris was.
But Robin seemed normal the first time Faith screwed him too.
Groo kissed Faith on the hair, stroking her bare back.
“Does this mean you’re my girlfriend now, Faith? Because I would like that to be the case very much.” Groo gazed at her with hopeful eyes.
‘Um, I’d like to be, but…” A brainwave struck Faith. She got out of bed, scrambling into her clothes. “Hold on, Groo, I’ll be right back.”
Faith sprinted across to her trailer. She flicked frantically through a pile of magazines, she kept stored under her bed. She ripped certain pages out, shoving them quickly into a folder.
She raced back to Groo’s trailer and slammed the door shut.
Groo was still lying naked in bed, watching television. He flicked off the TV with the remote, when she entered his wheeled abode.
“Okay, I want you to tell me what you’d want to do with these items when I show them to you, pal. Your first impulse.” Faith explained. She held up her first picture.
“It’s a sheep. Lamb chops, or I’d shear it.” Groo decided.
Not sodomize it. Good. Faith held up her second picture.
“A ping pong bat. I’d play ping pong with it.” Groo did not hesitate a second.
Again good, he’d didn’t want to smack her ass-cheeks with the bat until they turned beet red.
Faith held up a picture of a teenage girl, in Catholic school uniform.
“Give her directions to the ghost train ride.”
Hand cuffs were shown.
“Find the security guard who dropped them.”
This rocked, as Spike of all creatures pointed out to Faith, once she came out of prison, she found bondage and discipline old hat.
Groo passed the test of word associations with the remaining pictures with flying colors.
Faith hastily removed her clothes and crawled back into bed with him.
“Groo.” Faith told the Champion of Pylea pleased, as he began to make tender love to her once more. “I think this is the start of a beautiful relationship.”
***