Two tidbits:

[kiwi]

1. Today I learned that Lily, on top of liking green olives, peas, and watermelon (freak of nature that she is), likes to help me unload the dishwasher.




I plan to start hiring her out, starting at $10/hour. Anyone need a dishwasher?

And

2. You know you're in trouble when your fortune cookie says this:




Color me insulted.