Christmas
I doubt anyone out there is reading this. I've fallen out of touch with everyone I used to know online. If I do know you and you want to reconnect, contact me at robin.suzanna@yahoo.com. If I don't answer you in two days, write to me again. I'll never ignore anyone, so if I didn't answer, it means I probably skimmed over it and mistook it for spam.
I'm just so excited and didn't really have anyone to share my excitement with, so I thought I'd make a post. I'm going to have my son for both Christmas Eve and Christmas Day! When Quentin's father and I drew up the custody agreement, we split most holidays with an every other year program. But Christmas was spelled out more exactly. I would get Quentin for Christmas Eve through Christmas morning. Tim would pick him up as early as 9am to keep him throughout Christmas Day. It's a good compromise for both of us, but as with anything in splitting custody, it's not perfect for either.
I thought this year would be a battle. Tim's been trying to get the custody agreement reworked. He's been a real jerk, to put it in simple terms. While I've been looking out for Quentin's best interest, Tim's only interested in what he sees as fair on paper. Tim wanted to start splitting Quentin equally, with three days at each home. The problem with that is that with him starting school next year, any day he is at his dad's he would have to get up an hour and a half earlier to make it to school. To try to head off a court battle (even though the law would likely be on my side), I gave up a lot of my non-working days with Quentin in order for him to have a stable home during the school week. It got to the point that I was ready to tell Tim to take me to court if he asked for even one more concession.
Then he did ask for an unreasonable concession. Tim saw that he would be working the 23rd-25th. Since he works nights, that means he would have to sleep during the day. He asked me to bring Quentin to him Christmas Eve night, even though he would be at work then, and leave him there so that Tim could see him open presents Christmas morning before dropping into bed. Yes, that would mean that our three-year-old son would be without either parent on Christmas Eve. Tim's fiancee would be there, but she is not family, legally or emotionally.
I stood up to him. I was very fair, probably even more so than I should have been. I told him that I would not leave Quentin alone on Christmas Eve night. I offered to bring Quentin to him Christmas Day and pick him back up whenever Tim wanted me to. I stood firm when Tim called me "selfish". Then, I waited to see what Tim would counter with. I've been around this block so many times in the last few months and Tim knows that leaving me to wait for a solid answer is the best way to get me to cave in. But I wasn't going to on this. I'd been waiting and dreading until today. Timidly, I broached the subject when Tim came to pick up Quentin. But to my surprise, Tim was remarkable nice! He said that he knew he wouldn't be in any condition to spend time with Quentin between shifts at the hospital on Christmas Day. Instead, he would pick him up on the morning of the 26th and have their Christmas then. When I mentioned that I was also off of work on Monday, he said he would have him back to me no later than Monday morning, maybe even Sunday night.
So the bottom line is, for the first time since my son was less than a year old, I will be able to spend the full 48 hours of Christmas Eve and Christmas Day with him!
Robin
I'm just so excited and didn't really have anyone to share my excitement with, so I thought I'd make a post. I'm going to have my son for both Christmas Eve and Christmas Day! When Quentin's father and I drew up the custody agreement, we split most holidays with an every other year program. But Christmas was spelled out more exactly. I would get Quentin for Christmas Eve through Christmas morning. Tim would pick him up as early as 9am to keep him throughout Christmas Day. It's a good compromise for both of us, but as with anything in splitting custody, it's not perfect for either.
I thought this year would be a battle. Tim's been trying to get the custody agreement reworked. He's been a real jerk, to put it in simple terms. While I've been looking out for Quentin's best interest, Tim's only interested in what he sees as fair on paper. Tim wanted to start splitting Quentin equally, with three days at each home. The problem with that is that with him starting school next year, any day he is at his dad's he would have to get up an hour and a half earlier to make it to school. To try to head off a court battle (even though the law would likely be on my side), I gave up a lot of my non-working days with Quentin in order for him to have a stable home during the school week. It got to the point that I was ready to tell Tim to take me to court if he asked for even one more concession.
Then he did ask for an unreasonable concession. Tim saw that he would be working the 23rd-25th. Since he works nights, that means he would have to sleep during the day. He asked me to bring Quentin to him Christmas Eve night, even though he would be at work then, and leave him there so that Tim could see him open presents Christmas morning before dropping into bed. Yes, that would mean that our three-year-old son would be without either parent on Christmas Eve. Tim's fiancee would be there, but she is not family, legally or emotionally.
I stood up to him. I was very fair, probably even more so than I should have been. I told him that I would not leave Quentin alone on Christmas Eve night. I offered to bring Quentin to him Christmas Day and pick him back up whenever Tim wanted me to. I stood firm when Tim called me "selfish". Then, I waited to see what Tim would counter with. I've been around this block so many times in the last few months and Tim knows that leaving me to wait for a solid answer is the best way to get me to cave in. But I wasn't going to on this. I'd been waiting and dreading until today. Timidly, I broached the subject when Tim came to pick up Quentin. But to my surprise, Tim was remarkable nice! He said that he knew he wouldn't be in any condition to spend time with Quentin between shifts at the hospital on Christmas Day. Instead, he would pick him up on the morning of the 26th and have their Christmas then. When I mentioned that I was also off of work on Monday, he said he would have him back to me no later than Monday morning, maybe even Sunday night.
So the bottom line is, for the first time since my son was less than a year old, I will be able to spend the full 48 hours of Christmas Eve and Christmas Day with him!
Robin