(no subject)
Well, assuming there's anyone other than Heather and David reading this journal, I guess it's time to let y'all in on what's been happening. My husband and I are splitting up. About two weeks ago, we had this non-fight thing. It was very calm. I asked if he was happy, he said no. That was it. We both left that night, I to my mom's and he to... actually, I don't know where. But I came home the next day hoping to work it out and he didn't. I didn't see him again until a week later, and then only to decide things like selling the house.
Now, before you say it, I honestly don't suspect he has a girlfriend. Although I don't know where he stayed that night, he finally settled at his neice's house and no self-respecting 30-year-old would willingly subject himself to an 18-year-old's bachelorette pad if he had anywhere else to go. LOL.
We're actually getting along very amicably now that the decision's been made. He offered to give me anything I wanted in the house, including the kitchen supplies and towels. I gave him the TV and entertainment center even though he offered it because I knew he'd enjoy it more. I'm taking the master bedroom set and he the guest bedroom. He's agreed to pay the bills through June and July while I stay in the house to sell it. The ad hit the paper last Sunday and I've had some pretty serious lookers, but no one's committed to buying. It will still be running this weekend, so hopefully I'll get some fresh potentials. If I get what we're asking, we will each be able to pocket $7000 for start-over money.
Once the house sells, I'll go to my mom's for a few months. I was very wary of this at first, but after a good (tearful) talk with my mom, we agreed to help each other out while I'm there. My biggest concern is that my mother is pessimistic by nature. Right now, I need support and possitivity, so I had to make her agree to try to be those things or I would get an apartment instead.
In the long run, I think this will be for the best. I will miss Mark and, honestly, I still love him very much. But at some point over the last several years, we stopped communicating. The problem is that on paper, Mark seems perfect. So I subconsciously decided that the problems in our marriage must be my fault. I've been steadily growing into the type of person I hate. I was weak and tearful, no confidence or self-esteem. I was even put on anti-depressants because of it all. Before all this, I was the antithesis of those qualities. And now I want myself back.
I've come up with a list of resolutions that I want to work on with myself:
1. Lose weight!! - Lots of it. I'm the biggest I've ever been since I'm a comfort-eater. But I've been on a diet for a few weeks now and joined Curves. I've lost about 13 pounds so far, but honestly need to lose about 70-80 total to be a truly good size.
2. Get in shape - Part of #1, but it deserves its own resolution. Even if I blow my diet, I will continue to go to Curves because I need to get into better shape to be more flexible and have more endurance (and I don't just mean in the dirty way).
3. Re-gain financial independence - I have the potential in my real estate job, but it will take some dedication and hard work to achieve it. My ultimate goal is to save the money from the sale of the house, but make enough in my job to pay off my credit card ($7000) and finance company loan ($2000) before moving out of my mom's house.
4. Learn better homemaker skills - This includes cleaning, cooking, taking care of nicer clothes, etc. My mom has agreed to help with this part while I'm staying with her.
5. Quit smoking - Right now I couldn't imagine even trying this one due to current stress, but once the storm begins to pass, I would like to quit smoking for the simple reason that, if I'm to reenter the dating scene, being a smoker would rule out so many good possibilities.
For now, I'm just taking everything day-by-day. I've been packing up the house as I spring-clean it for showing. I've done all but the back room since it's nearly all Mark's stuff and therefore difficult to sort without him (he's out of town). I've gotten my old part-time job back at Domino's Pizza to have extra money in the short-term, and I've been working hard on my real estate stuff. In fact, I have two appointments today, one of which has a good potential of resulting in a sale. My diet's going really well, in part due to the fact that this situation has caused me to lose my appetite for the first time in my life.
Honestly, I don't want anyone's pity, which is why I didn't post anything here while things were going bad or just after the non-fight. I've heard enough of "I'm so sorry". However, I would like to chat with people about productive things, such as my plans and resolutions. It's the only thing on my mind right now, so I suspect my friends are tired of hearing about it. LOL.
Robin
Now, before you say it, I honestly don't suspect he has a girlfriend. Although I don't know where he stayed that night, he finally settled at his neice's house and no self-respecting 30-year-old would willingly subject himself to an 18-year-old's bachelorette pad if he had anywhere else to go. LOL.
We're actually getting along very amicably now that the decision's been made. He offered to give me anything I wanted in the house, including the kitchen supplies and towels. I gave him the TV and entertainment center even though he offered it because I knew he'd enjoy it more. I'm taking the master bedroom set and he the guest bedroom. He's agreed to pay the bills through June and July while I stay in the house to sell it. The ad hit the paper last Sunday and I've had some pretty serious lookers, but no one's committed to buying. It will still be running this weekend, so hopefully I'll get some fresh potentials. If I get what we're asking, we will each be able to pocket $7000 for start-over money.
Once the house sells, I'll go to my mom's for a few months. I was very wary of this at first, but after a good (tearful) talk with my mom, we agreed to help each other out while I'm there. My biggest concern is that my mother is pessimistic by nature. Right now, I need support and possitivity, so I had to make her agree to try to be those things or I would get an apartment instead.
In the long run, I think this will be for the best. I will miss Mark and, honestly, I still love him very much. But at some point over the last several years, we stopped communicating. The problem is that on paper, Mark seems perfect. So I subconsciously decided that the problems in our marriage must be my fault. I've been steadily growing into the type of person I hate. I was weak and tearful, no confidence or self-esteem. I was even put on anti-depressants because of it all. Before all this, I was the antithesis of those qualities. And now I want myself back.
I've come up with a list of resolutions that I want to work on with myself:
1. Lose weight!! - Lots of it. I'm the biggest I've ever been since I'm a comfort-eater. But I've been on a diet for a few weeks now and joined Curves. I've lost about 13 pounds so far, but honestly need to lose about 70-80 total to be a truly good size.
2. Get in shape - Part of #1, but it deserves its own resolution. Even if I blow my diet, I will continue to go to Curves because I need to get into better shape to be more flexible and have more endurance (and I don't just mean in the dirty way).
3. Re-gain financial independence - I have the potential in my real estate job, but it will take some dedication and hard work to achieve it. My ultimate goal is to save the money from the sale of the house, but make enough in my job to pay off my credit card ($7000) and finance company loan ($2000) before moving out of my mom's house.
4. Learn better homemaker skills - This includes cleaning, cooking, taking care of nicer clothes, etc. My mom has agreed to help with this part while I'm staying with her.
5. Quit smoking - Right now I couldn't imagine even trying this one due to current stress, but once the storm begins to pass, I would like to quit smoking for the simple reason that, if I'm to reenter the dating scene, being a smoker would rule out so many good possibilities.
For now, I'm just taking everything day-by-day. I've been packing up the house as I spring-clean it for showing. I've done all but the back room since it's nearly all Mark's stuff and therefore difficult to sort without him (he's out of town). I've gotten my old part-time job back at Domino's Pizza to have extra money in the short-term, and I've been working hard on my real estate stuff. In fact, I have two appointments today, one of which has a good potential of resulting in a sale. My diet's going really well, in part due to the fact that this situation has caused me to lose my appetite for the first time in my life.
Honestly, I don't want anyone's pity, which is why I didn't post anything here while things were going bad or just after the non-fight. I've heard enough of "I'm so sorry". However, I would like to chat with people about productive things, such as my plans and resolutions. It's the only thing on my mind right now, so I suspect my friends are tired of hearing about it. LOL.
Robin