We Are Together
Jonghun/Hongki; pg
Jonghun's finally had enough of Hongki so Hongki does what he can to get him to stay.
→2,642 words
a/n: one of my entries written for
kpop_olymfics. Written for Team Canon, who I really must thank from the bottom of my heart for being so amazing, every single person. ♥
Their manager had taken the three younger members of the group to their schedules, leaving Hongki and Jonghun alone in the dorms for once. This was the first time in months that Hongki felt like he had time to himself, and he didn’t really know what to do with it now. He supposed he could go to the gym and work out, or go play a game, but suddenly he didn’t feel like it. Scratching an itch on the top of his head and mussing up his blond hair, he opened the fridge and stared blankly at bottles of soju and soda with kimchi and rice squeezed in beside the cans.
He could hear the subtle riffs of Jonghun’s guitar playing from his room down the hall. As he closed the fridge with a coke can in hand, he tried to recognize the song, but couldn’t. Jonghun was probably composing again, and he knew he should just leave him be, but boredom had a price, and Hongki was willing to risk it. He wandered down the hall until he stood directly in front of the bedroom door, listening to the song in making until Jonghun stopped playing.
“Jongshin-ah!” He called out the older man’s nickname, opening the door and poking his head in. Jonghun was on his bed, sheets of music spread around him, guitar in his lap and pencil in his ear. He glanced up through waves of dark hair. “Do you wanna go out for some food?”
Jonghun gave a snort of a laugh, “and have you stick me with the bill?”
Hongki pouted, because he didn’t think he was that bad of a hyung, not really. Sure he had a lot more friends outside of the band than the others, but he was the spokesperson of the band after all, what did they expect? He slumped on the bed opposite Jonghun’s and stared at the guitarist with large eyes and puffed cheeks.
"I just want to eat with you," he fisted his fingers in Jonghun's quilt. "We're together after all, aren't we?"
It seemed as though Jonghun was doing his best to ignore him, steadfastly scribbling notes onto the music paper next to him and strumming his guitar. As Hongki watched his fingers dance along the chords, it seemed like the leader became more and more anxious. After a few moments, Jonghun gave an annoyed sigh and glared. Hongki stilled his fidgeting immediately, giving a half grin.
“Weren’t you going to go eat?”
“I don’t want to eat alone,” Hongki complained, rolling on the bed and mussing up the pillows. “It’s lonely.”
Jonghun scowled, which surprised Hongki. Usually he was mellow and quiet, though they had their bickers here and there, yeah. Jonghun was too laid back most of the time. Jonghun laid his guitar gently on the bed after a few tense moments and there was a moment during which Hongki thought he won, but the ominous aura that the guitarist was giving off wiped the smirk off his face. Jonghun grabbed Hongki by the arm, dragging him towards the front door. Hongki slid along the sleek wood floor of the hostel and gave a yelp when Jonghun let him go.
“What are you doing?” Hongki asked, lying in a pile of the members slippers as Jonghun shoved his feet into shoes, his face stony under his curtain of onyx hair.
The musician ripped Hongki’s jacket out of the closet along with his own, tugging it on with so much force that Hongki was surprised it didn’t rip. By the time Hongki had scrambled into his own shoes, Jonghun had already left the dorm and was waiting for the elevator, hands in his pockets.
Hongki scowled, running a hand through his hair. “If you don’t want to come, you don’t have to come.” He scuffed his shoe on the floor. “I don’t want to force you to.” His friend didn’t answer, instead staring stonily ahead.
They didn’t talk all the way to the noodle house, instead of the playful air that usually hung over them, Hongki felt like the tension was going to suffocate him. Taking their seats and ordering, Hongki glanced up through his hair at Jonghun, who was faced away from him, his chin on his hand. He felt like a little kid who had done something wrong.
He fiddled with the salt shaker as the silence stretched on endlessly between them. He finally tried to break it with a clear of his throat. “So, what kind of song are you writing?”
Jonghun sighed, putting his hands down on the table and glaring at Hongki. “You don’t quit, do you?”
“Huh?” Hongki asked, affronted.
“You’re always nosy and in my personal space, don’t you ever stop to think that I might not like it?” Hongki gaped at him; Jonghun never talked to him like this.
“Y-yah!” Hongki straightened, pushing the shaker to the side. “What the hell, you never had a problem with it before!”
Jonghun clenched his hands together under the table. “You wouldn’t know,” he said, standing up. "You always take my money, get in my space, use me as your own personal doormat and you pretend I'm just going to go along with it because we're together."
Hongki gaped at him. "Y-yah," he started, but Jonghun was already starting towards the door.
“I’m going back to the dorm, eat by yourself for once, hyung.” The honorific was like a slap in Hongki’s face. They’d stopped using honorifics with each other long ago. Jonghun stormed out of the restaurant and back up the street, Hongki watched him with a hollowed gaze.
By the time the food came, Hongki was ready to cry. He took out his phone and fingered it, wondering who he could call. Did everyone think he was just an annoying nothing like Jonghun? How long had Jonghun felt this way? He stared blankly for both bowls in front of him and with a sigh, slapped money for the bill down and went to the gym to work off his troubles.
When he returned to the dorm it was late and the others were back. Bo Peep by T-ara was playing loudly from the television and the younger three members were doing the dance. Jonghun was on the couch, laughing and watching them, but refusing to join in for once. As soon as Hongki appeared, Jonghun's laughter came to an abrupt halt and he crossed his arms over his chest.
Hongki went for the shower, the music chasing him down the hallway. He tried not to let his heart shatter as he blocked out the sounds of that rekindled laugh with the door.
He supposed this was one of those things that you don’t miss until it’s gone. He locked the bathroom door and leaned against the shower wall, letting hot water pour down his body. His vision blurred, and he knew it was more than water stinging them. He'd always had the tendency to do without thinking--to just take what people did for granted. He was just like that, it wasn't like he could change who he was. But it was Jonghun who needed him to change, because it was Jonghun who mattered. Hongki snorted at himself, wiping water off his face. Jonghun was obviously just PMSing and needed time to himself like the girl he secretly was. He didn't know anyone who cared so much about his appearance or learning girl dances--and he was friends with Kim Heechul. He was sure this would wear off in a few days--sure that he was just over-thinking.
Night came around and they ignored each other completely save for sidelong glares and sneers at each others backs. Jonghun caught Hongki making a pig face at him from behind and he scoffed, getting into bed and pulling the comforter up over his head and facing the wall, away from him. Hongki pulled a face and turned off the light before jumping in his bed and staring at his own wall.
The tension between them was almost toxic and made Hongki despair a lot more than he thought he would. It hadn't been long after Wonbin left the group that Jonghun asked him out, and Hongki had agreed, because why not? It wasn't like they couldn't be together and he was always so alone. Jonghun's entire being was made of something more than human, and for all that he would put Muse on repeat constantly, it was Jonghun who was Hongki's muse, always.
He didn't fall asleep until the sun was starting to beam in through the blinds. He stirred awake at the soft trill of Jonghun's alarm clock. As the guitarist made to leave the room, he rolled over and quickly grabbed his wrist. "I'm sorry," the words stuck in his throat. "I know I'm a screw up, and I make you jealous, and forget you, and annoy you." Jonghun's tight expression seemed to fall away. "I'm trying though, I swear."
Jonghun sighed and ran a hand through his hair in frustration. He took a seat on his bed and laced their fingers together. "I know," he murmured, eyes like deep wells to Hongki's sleep deprived mind. "It just gets to be too much sometimes. You hang out with so many people that I feel like I'm the one you go to when there is no one else."
Hongki frowned. "I have friends, I can't help that." He struggled to sit up and slid his feet out of bed so their knees touched. "But we're together, right?" He smiled, sharp canines flashing. "And aren't you the one that asked me out? You know what I'm like."
Jonghun's face turned to ice again and he slipped his hand out of Hongki's grip. "I don't know, you have a hard time showing you meant it when you told me yes."
Hongki scrambled after him, but Jonghun was quick to shut the door. Hongki ran right into it and shouted curses after him, holding his newly bruised nose.
He kicked at his dresser in frustration and howled from the pain in his toe. Limping out of the room, he slunk down on the couch, beside a smirking Seunghyun. "Isn't it too early to be a devil?" Hongki complained, kicking Seunghyun's feet off the coffee table and replacing them with his own.
Seunghyun pouted. "Isn't it too early to be a jerk?" He straightened up. "What's up with you and Jonghun-hyung?"
"Nothing."
"Lying gives you worms," Seunghyun deadpanned.
Hongki elbowed him in the ribs. "Stay out of our business," he scowled, sticking his tongue out at him.
"What's mine is yours!" Seunghyun crowed, "we're a band, after all!" He wrapped his arms around Hongki's shoulders as Jaejin plopped down on his other side, wiping sleep from his eyes. He could hear Minhwan whistling in the bathroom.
"Shouldn't that be the other way around?" Jaejin chuckled, adjusting a pair of glasses on the bridge of his nose.
Seunghyun shrugged and nudged Hongki. The vocalist rolled his eyes with a sigh. "Okay, he says I don't spend enough time with him and that I'm annoying, is all." He always felt uncomfortable talking about his relationship with the other members.
"Well you don't spend enough time with him!" Seunghyun snorted. "You spend all your time with Heechul or your other friends."
Hongki opened his mouth to argue but Jaejin cut him off. "And you are kind of annoying," the bassist declared in a matter-of-fact tone.
The vocalist deflated against the couch, sulking at his band mates. "What should I do then?" He hated asking for help from them, they never let him live it down.
Seunghyun snickered, elbowing Hongki in the ribs. "Spend time with him!"
"Stop being so annoying?" Jaejin offered and Hongki threw the couch pillow at him.
"You guys suck for advice." Hongki moped, putting his chin on his hand and staring out the window. The manager came out of his room then and told them to finish getting ready for scheduling before they were late (again). The three couch potatoes scattered to their various morning routines before getting whisked away into the tornado that was their lives.
***
By the time they returned back to the dorms, Hongki had concocted an idea of sorts, to get back into Jonghun's good graces. He ran to the store to pick up something and then ran back to the dorms as fast as he could possibly run. It didn't even bother him that the wind was bitingly cold. He nearly collided with the door frame of their room, giving Jonghun an excited grin. "Follow me!" He said breathlessly, excitement pouring from his body.
Jonghun reluctantly followed, a frown on his face. Hongki led him to a bridge over the Han river, staring out at the scenery and the glow cast by the sunset. It was cold and Jonghun was already shivering, complaining the entire way.
"Just hold on," Hongki dug around inside his pockets for the object. There was a terrifying moment where he thought he'd dropped it in his rush, and then he felt the cool edge against the tips of his fingers. He withdrew the small box he had bought at the store less than an hour previous with a smile of success.
Jonghun's face lost whatever color it once had as Hongki dropped to his knees. "What are you doing?" he hissed, as Hongki tried and failed to bite back a smile, trying his very best to be completely serious.
"Choi Jonghun," he started, fighting back his smirk as his heart pounded in his ears. "I know I'm not amazing, and that I'm selfish, and that I annoy you all the time."
"You look like an idiot," Jonghun snapped, flashing an embarrassed smile at the crowd of people around them while trying not to look too touched at what was going on in front of him.
"I remember when we first started going out, and you used to always smile and ruffle my hair, or when you'd give me piggy back rides everywhere." Hongki earnestly grabbed Jonghun's hand, locking gazes. Jonghun finally paid him complete attention.
"I'll stop hanging out with other people so much," Hongki opened the box, revealing two gold bands. He took one out and held it up to Jonghun. "I can't change who I am, but I'll do my best. So please give me another chance?" He shifted on his knee as the chill of the pavement started to seep in through his jeans.
Jonghun licked his lips, taking in the sincerity of Hongki's face. "You're serious right now, aren't you?" He asked, laughing. Hongki's earnest expression slipped off his face like rain and he started to withdraw his hand. Then Jonghun caught it and pulled him up into a hug. He felt Hongki's breath shudder against his ear and the heartbeat against his chest.
It was warm suddenly, there was no wind, there was no chill. It was all the weirdly pleasant smell of Hongki's almond lotion and a warmth more encompassing than anything. "All I wanted was more of this." He murmured, burying his face in Hongki's soft blond hair and letting himself get lost in that oddly comforting scent.
Hongki's laugh was like the finest music he'd ever heard. "Yeah?" He squeezed Jonghun close, listening to their entwined heartbeats for a moment, then he pulled himself away and punched him in the arm so hard it was sure to leave a bruise. Jonghun bit back a wince. "Next time say so before you make me look all gay."
Jonghun snickered, fingers linking with Hongki's as the two started towards the hostel. "You'll still take the ring though, right?" Hongki asked, holding it up.
"You are so gay." Jonghun sniped. But he took it anyway.
end.