Depressio
Grades came back. I've pretty much doomed myself to a shitty graduating GPA. So much for going to a good grad school.
Being "home" is making me hate life, and i really don't know why. My family and my house just depresses the hell out of me.
Everyone i like to talk to has sort of disappeared. I want to hang out with some of my dallas friends but i'm too busy with family bullshit. And the people i like to confide in online have all disappeared from the face of the earth.
I sort of miss the Kansas people and i don't know why, cause i am pretty plus/minus about them when i'm actually in Kansas.
I hate myself for fucking up school; i can't concentrated on writing, and i doubt i get anything done over break; my sleep patterns are compounding my depression, i've never felt like i have seasonal affective disorder before, but maybe i do.
I think i might start seeing a psychiatrist when i go back to school. God i hate doctors. And home, and family, and life.
Edit: I just walked 2.5 miles on the tredmill. Go endorphins! I feel a little bit better. About ready to set some goals for this break: read at least one volume of essays, and write at least another seven pages of my adoption essay. Sounds fair. Things are gonna be okay.
Being "home" is making me hate life, and i really don't know why. My family and my house just depresses the hell out of me.
Everyone i like to talk to has sort of disappeared. I want to hang out with some of my dallas friends but i'm too busy with family bullshit. And the people i like to confide in online have all disappeared from the face of the earth.
I sort of miss the Kansas people and i don't know why, cause i am pretty plus/minus about them when i'm actually in Kansas.
I hate myself for fucking up school; i can't concentrated on writing, and i doubt i get anything done over break; my sleep patterns are compounding my depression, i've never felt like i have seasonal affective disorder before, but maybe i do.
I think i might start seeing a psychiatrist when i go back to school. God i hate doctors. And home, and family, and life.
Edit: I just walked 2.5 miles on the tredmill. Go endorphins! I feel a little bit better. About ready to set some goals for this break: read at least one volume of essays, and write at least another seven pages of my adoption essay. Sounds fair. Things are gonna be okay.