Dream
I woke up at about 4am today, my hip in agony, as sometimes happens (so glad I have a chiropractor appointment next week, finally). So I got up, tried to walk around on it, generally stretch out - I texted Michelle to cancel the gym because I could barely move, and then I went back to bed. Fell back asleep around maybe 5am. And then I dreamed...
It was a little bit like closing my eyes in one place and waking up in another. Suddenly, I was in Nevada - for some reason, I had decided to move there with my parents (I guess in the context of this dream, they had been living here and up and decided to move and for whatever reason, I went with them). I'm not really sure why I did this, because it was very distressing. I kept forgetting where I was, because it had been such a sudden move.
Our new place was really familiar to me - like a suite of hotel rooms I'd been in before. It also reminded me a little of the old layout of our house on Flamingo, some of the rooms. I remember wandering around it going, why does this seem familiar? And then eventually I was so distraught that I just wanted to be alone, but my "room" was this very open plan and there were a bunch of people around - Micah, a bunch of my Alaska friends (it didn't occur to me to wonder why they were in NV, too), and a couple of kids that I think were supposed to be related to me somehow, even though they were too young to be any of my cousins and too old to be any of their kids or my siblings' kids. I had to tell everyone to clear out, though, because I wanted to be alone, so I literally had to shoo them off my bed (this really high divan-like thing) and clear a bubble of personal space. I kept calling it that, too, "get out of my bubble."
So I finally managed to get a little headspace, and I realized, hey, I should tell Parker that I can't meet up with him on Saturday after all, since I'm... y'know... suddenly *out of state*. I had been having distressing realizations all throughout - "I can't go to work tomorrow, I guess I need a new job," etc - but realizing that I wouldn't likely see Parker again was hard. Felt like a good thing had been shot down in its prime.
Anyway, I get online and I'm trying to talk to him, but for some reason, lines of text from our previous conversations keep re-sending themselves, only they're corrupted and full of lines of code. It gets to be too frustrating, so I end up calling him instead. Only now, trying to talk on the phone, I realize that all the other people in the room - mostly my AK friends (Richelle, Orion, Josh for sure, couple of others maybe) - are suddenly being very noisy. Not just talking or shouting, but like, jumping up and down on the furniture and banging their heads against the ceiling and the walls, generally being a bunch of silly monkeys. I don't know why they were doing this, but it was highly annoying, and asking them to stop went completely unheard, so I fled outside (I remember thinking as I did so, "at least it's Nevada so it's not likely to be cold and rainy").
So I get outside and finally get a few minutes of uninterrupted conversation with poor Parker. I explain my bizarre situation, that I somehow seem to have ended up in another state overnight and I'm not really sure why. He tells me he's glad that I regret moving, because of something to do with a theory about people who move around too much being either all criminals or mentally unstable, which for whatever reason, makes me feel a little better. Maybe his theory was also a joke? I donno. At some point in the dream I just started weeping, saying I didn't know why I'd gone, and repeating, "I could have stayed... I don't know why I didn't stay."
I don't really know what my brain was on this morning. I just know that I was very sad to have left Alaska, and when I managed to wake up again, was very glad I was still here.
Food for thought.
It was a little bit like closing my eyes in one place and waking up in another. Suddenly, I was in Nevada - for some reason, I had decided to move there with my parents (I guess in the context of this dream, they had been living here and up and decided to move and for whatever reason, I went with them). I'm not really sure why I did this, because it was very distressing. I kept forgetting where I was, because it had been such a sudden move.
Our new place was really familiar to me - like a suite of hotel rooms I'd been in before. It also reminded me a little of the old layout of our house on Flamingo, some of the rooms. I remember wandering around it going, why does this seem familiar? And then eventually I was so distraught that I just wanted to be alone, but my "room" was this very open plan and there were a bunch of people around - Micah, a bunch of my Alaska friends (it didn't occur to me to wonder why they were in NV, too), and a couple of kids that I think were supposed to be related to me somehow, even though they were too young to be any of my cousins and too old to be any of their kids or my siblings' kids. I had to tell everyone to clear out, though, because I wanted to be alone, so I literally had to shoo them off my bed (this really high divan-like thing) and clear a bubble of personal space. I kept calling it that, too, "get out of my bubble."
So I finally managed to get a little headspace, and I realized, hey, I should tell Parker that I can't meet up with him on Saturday after all, since I'm... y'know... suddenly *out of state*. I had been having distressing realizations all throughout - "I can't go to work tomorrow, I guess I need a new job," etc - but realizing that I wouldn't likely see Parker again was hard. Felt like a good thing had been shot down in its prime.
Anyway, I get online and I'm trying to talk to him, but for some reason, lines of text from our previous conversations keep re-sending themselves, only they're corrupted and full of lines of code. It gets to be too frustrating, so I end up calling him instead. Only now, trying to talk on the phone, I realize that all the other people in the room - mostly my AK friends (Richelle, Orion, Josh for sure, couple of others maybe) - are suddenly being very noisy. Not just talking or shouting, but like, jumping up and down on the furniture and banging their heads against the ceiling and the walls, generally being a bunch of silly monkeys. I don't know why they were doing this, but it was highly annoying, and asking them to stop went completely unheard, so I fled outside (I remember thinking as I did so, "at least it's Nevada so it's not likely to be cold and rainy").
So I get outside and finally get a few minutes of uninterrupted conversation with poor Parker. I explain my bizarre situation, that I somehow seem to have ended up in another state overnight and I'm not really sure why. He tells me he's glad that I regret moving, because of something to do with a theory about people who move around too much being either all criminals or mentally unstable, which for whatever reason, makes me feel a little better. Maybe his theory was also a joke? I donno. At some point in the dream I just started weeping, saying I didn't know why I'd gone, and repeating, "I could have stayed... I don't know why I didn't stay."
I don't really know what my brain was on this morning. I just know that I was very sad to have left Alaska, and when I managed to wake up again, was very glad I was still here.
Food for thought.