We face the world alone...
Oh my Lordy. I fell asleep on my AP English book at around midnight and woke up this morning at five looking at the word "explain". O_o;; Needless to say, I didn't finish it. -_-;;
Went to Orchestra, Miller was late, so I slept on the risers (we've been practicing in the choir room lately) until he showed up.
Fell asleep 3 times in econ. Not like it matters anyway. ::shrug:: Would have fallen asleep in Individuals and Families if it weren't for the stupid "group-building" activities we've been doing. Bah. It's like a support group for people with extremely wide space bubbles. I don't have wide space bubbles, unless I don't like a person. Then I do.
So then there was choir, and we sang. And Aliya sang horribly off pitch. And I'm afraid to say anything to her because whenever I have in the past, she jumps down my back because I'm obviously intimidated by her, or something. Which I'm not. The only thing that could possibly intimidate me about Aliya is the size of her boobs, and I really don't care about the size of her boobs.
.....What the fuck did I just say?!
Going on now.
Yearbook. Computers stupid. Not working. Not saving, deleting all of the fonts. Bah.
Algebra, stayed awake long enough to finish my test and then conked out on my book for the last twenty minutes of class. ^^ good nap.
Lunch, then AP English where we talked about the linguistics of poetry and how certain words mean certain things. Like words that start with "fl" mean "moving light". So what about "flood"? I hate ripping apart good poems. It makes me feel like I'm destroying something beautiful, which in essence I am. -_-;;;
Chamber choir, did nothing. Talked to squeegy_b about my LotR fic. After school, came home, and recieved
Dear Family and Friends,
It's been a busy and sometimes discouraging few weeks. The week of January 25 I went to the Dallas area for a training staff meeting. When I left (which by the way was in the middle of a blizzard), Don was fairly mobile. Within a day he began having more issues with his neck, so much so that he was totally unable to move his head from side to side. Therefore, he felt it was unsafe for him to drive. He was also in considerable pain. Some very generous people came to his aide to provide rides or medical care.
After a few tests, it was determined he has tumors involved in three of his vertebrae. The largest one is near the area of where his fourth rib connects to his spinal column. Additional information was needed from Mayo to determine if that could be treated with radiation or if it was an area that was radiated last Spring prior to his esophageal surgery.
Unfortunately the news from Mayo was not good. The area with the largest tumor had in fact been radiated before, and because the spinal cord is involved, there cannot be any radiation treatment there again. If there were additional radiation it would possibly cause spinal cord damage. We certainly don't want that. We also discussed radiation for the other tumors, especially the one up higher in his neck (approximately where his neck meets his torso). That area could be radiated, according to the radiation oncologist, but because the radiation would enter his neck and exit his mouth, would cause an extreme sore throat. The sore throat would be so bad he would not be able to speak or swallow for the length of the treatment and for about two weeks afterward.
Don and I discussed this situation at length. We made the decision to not pursue that treatment because his not being able to speak or swallow would greatly affect his quality of life. There is no cure for the disease at this point. His purpose in being right now is to be able to provide ministry as long as possible. If he cannot speak, his effectiveness in that area is greatly diminished. My fear is that when he loses his purpose in being, he will die.
Great news, nee? That's how my Grandmother died. A slow painful death. Tumors on her spinal cord.
I don't understand it at all. Why is Don of all people dying? A minister, a good person, he doesn't deserve it. And I know nobody "deserves" it, but why him? I'm not going to even try to understand, but I still wish I did.
And you will weep
To be so alone
You are lost
You can never go home
Went to Orchestra, Miller was late, so I slept on the risers (we've been practicing in the choir room lately) until he showed up.
Fell asleep 3 times in econ. Not like it matters anyway. ::shrug:: Would have fallen asleep in Individuals and Families if it weren't for the stupid "group-building" activities we've been doing. Bah. It's like a support group for people with extremely wide space bubbles. I don't have wide space bubbles, unless I don't like a person. Then I do.
So then there was choir, and we sang. And Aliya sang horribly off pitch. And I'm afraid to say anything to her because whenever I have in the past, she jumps down my back because I'm obviously intimidated by her, or something. Which I'm not. The only thing that could possibly intimidate me about Aliya is the size of her boobs, and I really don't care about the size of her boobs.
.....What the fuck did I just say?!
Going on now.
Yearbook. Computers stupid. Not working. Not saving, deleting all of the fonts. Bah.
Algebra, stayed awake long enough to finish my test and then conked out on my book for the last twenty minutes of class. ^^ good nap.
Lunch, then AP English where we talked about the linguistics of poetry and how certain words mean certain things. Like words that start with "fl" mean "moving light". So what about "flood"? I hate ripping apart good poems. It makes me feel like I'm destroying something beautiful, which in essence I am. -_-;;;
Chamber choir, did nothing. Talked to squeegy_b about my LotR fic. After school, came home, and recieved
Dear Family and Friends,
It's been a busy and sometimes discouraging few weeks. The week of January 25 I went to the Dallas area for a training staff meeting. When I left (which by the way was in the middle of a blizzard), Don was fairly mobile. Within a day he began having more issues with his neck, so much so that he was totally unable to move his head from side to side. Therefore, he felt it was unsafe for him to drive. He was also in considerable pain. Some very generous people came to his aide to provide rides or medical care.
After a few tests, it was determined he has tumors involved in three of his vertebrae. The largest one is near the area of where his fourth rib connects to his spinal column. Additional information was needed from Mayo to determine if that could be treated with radiation or if it was an area that was radiated last Spring prior to his esophageal surgery.
Unfortunately the news from Mayo was not good. The area with the largest tumor had in fact been radiated before, and because the spinal cord is involved, there cannot be any radiation treatment there again. If there were additional radiation it would possibly cause spinal cord damage. We certainly don't want that. We also discussed radiation for the other tumors, especially the one up higher in his neck (approximately where his neck meets his torso). That area could be radiated, according to the radiation oncologist, but because the radiation would enter his neck and exit his mouth, would cause an extreme sore throat. The sore throat would be so bad he would not be able to speak or swallow for the length of the treatment and for about two weeks afterward.
Don and I discussed this situation at length. We made the decision to not pursue that treatment because his not being able to speak or swallow would greatly affect his quality of life. There is no cure for the disease at this point. His purpose in being right now is to be able to provide ministry as long as possible. If he cannot speak, his effectiveness in that area is greatly diminished. My fear is that when he loses his purpose in being, he will die.
Great news, nee? That's how my Grandmother died. A slow painful death. Tumors on her spinal cord.
I don't understand it at all. Why is Don of all people dying? A minister, a good person, he doesn't deserve it. And I know nobody "deserves" it, but why him? I'm not going to even try to understand, but I still wish I did.
And you will weep
To be so alone
You are lost
You can never go home