Gah!
I can't sleep. I got up around 3:45 to pee (for the third time since going to sleep around 11:30, by the way) and I've been up since. This is not ideal considering I'm not going to get any sleep tonight since my induction is at midnight, but I can't help it. I'm freaked out.
What the hell was I thinking getting pregnant? Okay so it wasn't 100% intentional, but I realized it was a possibility...In any case, I've got to push this 8 lb. bowling ball out of my body in 24 hours or so. Ack! And knowing this kid, he's probably going to grab a handful on his way out and I'm going to bleed to death. Gah!
I'm also mad at him (as mad as you're allowed to be at someone who's not born yet I suppose). I had strategies for coping with labor and I'm not going to be able to use a lot of them because I have to be induced. I'm going to be stuck in the bed with an IV of pitocin and a continuous fetal monitor for the duration. That means no moving around. Also, since pitocin increases the intensity of one's contractions and therefore the pain felt, I'm probably going to break down and ask for an epidural way sooner than I'd planned to, which means I REALLY won't be able to move around at all. #$%&!!!
In the light of day, I will, of course, calm myself down with rationalizations and realize that no matter how the kid comes into the world, he'll be here soon and it will be worth it, but right now, in the cold darkness of the wee hours of the morning, I think I'm allowed to be a little freaked!
What the hell was I thinking getting pregnant? Okay so it wasn't 100% intentional, but I realized it was a possibility...In any case, I've got to push this 8 lb. bowling ball out of my body in 24 hours or so. Ack! And knowing this kid, he's probably going to grab a handful on his way out and I'm going to bleed to death. Gah!
I'm also mad at him (as mad as you're allowed to be at someone who's not born yet I suppose). I had strategies for coping with labor and I'm not going to be able to use a lot of them because I have to be induced. I'm going to be stuck in the bed with an IV of pitocin and a continuous fetal monitor for the duration. That means no moving around. Also, since pitocin increases the intensity of one's contractions and therefore the pain felt, I'm probably going to break down and ask for an epidural way sooner than I'd planned to, which means I REALLY won't be able to move around at all. #$%&!!!
In the light of day, I will, of course, calm myself down with rationalizations and realize that no matter how the kid comes into the world, he'll be here soon and it will be worth it, but right now, in the cold darkness of the wee hours of the morning, I think I'm allowed to be a little freaked!