One Decision Changes Everything - Interlude 2, part 2
Title: One Decision Changes Everything
Author: cassikat
Disclaimer: Wish I did own them - a lot of things would have been different.
Rating: PG-13
Characters/Pairings: Tenth Doctor, Donna Noble, Jenny (eventually Doctor/Donna)
Summary: One decision can change a life. Or three. Donna made the decision to stay for Jenny's funeral, and the changes ripple throughout the Universe. An AU beginning with the end of The Doctor's Daughter.
Author's Note: Second part of the second Interlude - this one gets a bit teary at the end. And still love to tkelparis, who makes sure I don't leave important information out. :) Also special thanks to tardis_mole, for reminding me about how useful some things can be. Like diaries. :) Love ya both!
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Interlude 2: Part 2: Confusion is Nothing New
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"So, what's gone wrong that you're out here and they're still in the TARDIS, sweetheart?" Wilf asked his quasi-great-granddaughter, who was fidgeting all over the kitchen.
"Hmm? Oh, nothing's wrong. Mum's talking with Martha, letting her know I'm alive because she was there when I was born, and Dad's doing a bit with the TARDIS, and I needed to talk to you and Nan without them." She huffed and would have continued her antsy movements, save for Sylvia's entrance.
"And what's all this then? Interpretive dance?" Sylvia snorted and shooed Jenny to the table while she went to put the kettle on. "Jenny Caelesta, sit down before you wear a hole in the floor."
Jenny heaved a huge sigh and sat down at the kitchen table, supporting her chin in her hands. Well, until Sylvia'd called out "elbows off the table, young lady!"
"Now then, calm down and tell us what's on your mind, sweetheart. You're starting to worry us a bit," Wilf patted one of Jenny's hands.
"It's nothing bad, really. It's just," Jenny sighed again and shook her head. "They're being really confusing, Dad and Mum. And more than a bit ridiculous."
"Oh, what have they done now?" Sylvia huffed as she put the teapot in the middle of the table. "Dad, could you go get those muffins I brought home?"
"Course I can." Wilf smiled at his daughter and patted Jenny's hand again before hoisting himself up to go and get the muffins.
"Well, they...I suppose they -did- do something, but I'm not sure it's what I'm seeing it as. Which is what's got me so...well, fidgety, I guess. And I really could help with fixing tea, Nan." Jenny tried a hopeful smile when her Nan came back with the cups and saucers, the sugar dish and the lemons.
"I know you could, Jenny-dear, but we've a routine, Dad and I." Sylvia smiled fondly at her quondam granddaughter and fixed up the cups as Wilf came back with the muffins. "So, what did they do?"
"I bet it was something interesting." Wilf commented as he sat down after putting the muffins in reach of the three of them. "Don't tell me, they've started admitting they like each other." He smirked a bit and claimed a muffin after thanking his daughter for his cuppa.
"Dad!" Sylvia exclaimed, shocked that he'd even suggest such a thing. After all, the Doctor was a nutter of an alien, even if he did have a lovely and big-hearted daughter. She didn't want her only daughter mixed up with an alien more than she already was - really, what kind of life was that?
"Sorry Nan, but Great-Gramps nailed it. I think they're starting to like-like each other." Jenny sighed and added her lemon to her tea, then took a sip and started telling her Nan and Great-Gramps everything. From the look on Dad's face when he'd seen them come out of the TARDIS dressed for the 1920's (though she held off on the photos until later - Mum would be annoyed if she didn't get to see their faces.), to how he'd reacted when Mum had been flirted with...along with his reaction to her own self being flirted with. And the look and how his voice had got all husky, and the interesting thing with Agatha Christie, and getting what 'couple' meant explained, so she never had to wonder 'a couple of what' again.
"And Mum called Dad 'cute' when she was comparing him to Hercule Poirot! Course I don't think she realised she was doing it, but still!" Jenny exclaimed, then went on with telling the story of what'd happened - the murder mystery with Agatha Christie. And all about the giant wasp, and the people they'd met (and about the murders), and the education she'd gotten when Dad had taken that sample of stinger goo. And then about the most confusing part of that whole episode, very nearly. Dad being poisoned, and how he cured it.
"Seriously, I thought we were going to lose Dad when he got poisoned. But he's going to teach me how to neutralize poisons...I just hope if I ever get in that position, that someone I like will give me a shock like Mum gave Dad." Jenny sipped her tea and missed the looks from her Nan and Great-Gramps.
"Just what sort of shock was that?" Sylvia asked, refreshing their cups.
"Hm? Oh, Mum kissed Dad - right after he'd eaten a handful of anchovies. Icky little fishes, how disgusting is that? And there I was wondering how to get him an electrical shock." Jenny smiled brightly at her Nan for the refreshing, then added more lemon and nibbled at a muffin.
"Oh she did not!" Sylvia huffed, rolling right over her dad murmuring 'Did she really?'. "And even if she did, it was just to shock him for his cure, right?"
"Well, that's what I'm not sure about." Jenny replied after swallowing a mouthful of muffin. "See, Dad said 'I must do that again', and then he went mumbling around about how he meant doing the detox again. I think he thought she'd slap him, but I swear I heard Mum say 'Skip the anchovies next time'!" By this time, she was pulling the muffin apart into bits, and when she realised what she was doing, folded her hands in her lap in embarrassment. "So you see what's gotten me in such a pother," she finished, sheepishly. "I really think Mum and Dad are starting to want to be together-together, like I thought they were when I was born."
"Better him than some of the other blokes she's turned up with," Wilf nodded and sipped his tea. "After all, he respects her. And he's good for her, too. Haven't seen her so excited about the possibilities of life than when she was looking for him. And nowadays, it's like she's found where she was always meant to be."
"Hmmph," Sylvia snorted. "I'd be happier if she was with someone her own species and had a job to support herself and her family with." She closed her eyes a moment and sighed, then continued. "I've got nothing against you two being aliens, sweetheart. It's just...I'd like grandchildren, and it's not very likely I'll see any more than you if she takes up with your father, is it, with him being an alien and her being human? And all this travelling - oh, it's all fun and games now, but later on is when Donna's going to regret not settling down."
"Well, at least Dad's not like that Lance," Jenny snorted indignantly, just like her mum and Nan, and started picking up pieces of muffin to mush back together.
"And what's Lance got to do with anything? He had a good career, and a bright future ahead of him-"
"And he was using Mum the entire time, too!" Muffin bits abandoned, Jenny frowned at Sylvia. "He was working with an alien, and he was basically slowly poisoning Mum. Well, not really poisoning, exactly, but same difference, because Huon particles are deadly for humans. And he was feeding them to her for months and months, so a giant intelligent spider could unlock a ship full of more giant spiders. Omnivorous spiders!"
"Now really Jenny, I know he up and vanished on her - but Donna said he was cheating on her and ran off." Sylvia frowned right back, and gestured to Jenny's plate. "Finish that up, dear."
"Well, you didn't know Dad was an alien at the time either, and she probably figured telling you that Lance had run off was easier to explain than telling you he'd pretty much sold her out to a giant spider-thing to unlock her ship and be the first meal of thousands or millions of hungry giant spiders. And I know it's true cos they both told me all about it last night, together."
"So...your dad saved her life. Probably started this whole liking him thing off too, with the effort she'd been putting in to find him again," Wilf shook his head and smiled at Jenny eating bits of muffin, then patted his daughter on the arm. "Now sweetheart, when looked at it that way, the Doctor's a lot better for our Donna than Lance was, isn't he?"
"Yes, I suppose so," Sylvia was pale from imagining what could have happened to her only daughter, and wasn't quite up to form. "I suppose that was your father, then, that drained the Thames?"
"Mmhmm," Jenny hummed through a mouthfull of muffin, then swallowed and answered properly. "Yes, to drown the spiders. Mum saved his life then, according to him. They didn't go into too much detail about that though...just that they wound up on top of the flood barrier in the end." Well actually Nan was having a hard enough time thinking about Dad liking Mum, so Jenny didn't want to tell her that Dad had dark places in his head that he could get lost in and needed dragging out of. So she went on to ask some questions that had been bothering her since last night's story. "I still don't understand everything that's involved in a wedding though. And how could all of you have had the reception party-thing without Mum? After she'd been accidentally kidnapped and all?"
"Yes, well," It was Sylvia's turn to look down at her plate and toy with a muffin. "Partly because it was paid for already, and it would have been a waste of money to cancel. And partly...well, Donna's pulled a few tricks in her time, and most of us thought her disappearance was one of them. Didn't think aliens would actually get personally involved with us then, did we? As for weddings...well, there are a lot of old customs and traditions wrapped up in those - which in particular did you have questions about?"
"Huh." Jenny tilted her head as she tried to assimilate the explanation. Humans were weird in their behaviour sometimes, but she could understand not wanting to waste resources. Perhaps that was enough of an explanation...anyway, she really wanted to know about weddings, and what was so special about them. "Well, I don't understand the entire concept, not really. Mum said that parents should be married when we were talking about babies and how they came about, but we really didn't discuss it much further than that, just that people were married once they'd had a wedding. I don't even really understand why parents should be married. Not to mention what rings have to do with it."
"I'm sure there's someone who can go into the history of weddings much better than I can. But what it all comes down to, in the end, it's just a way of announcing to the world - or one general section of it - that two people have chosen to spend the rest of their lives together." Wilf smiled wistfully, then shook his head. "Course, your Nan and I are living proof that a husband can outlive his wife or vice versa. But it's better to have had that time than not to."
Sylvia took over then, to attempt to explain the concept of wedding rings to her alien sort-of granddaughter. "There's engagement rings and there are wedding rings. Engagement rings are given when the man asks the woman to marry him - usually cost quite a bit as well, to indicate how serious he is about it, as well as how capable he is of providing for his future wife. Wedding rings are usually simpler, and are a visible token that the woman or man is unavailable to other people. Not that it seems to matter much to some people," she sniffed, then waved a hand, "but I'm not going to bog you down with all the idiotic things people can do to mess themselves up."
Jenny sighed and propped her head up on her hands again. "I'm still confused, but I think I've got the general concept now. Right now I want to know if either of you two know why Mum went for a creep like Lance? I mean, she said she was in love and she wanted kids, but...why would she go for such a creep when she's such a wonderful person?"
"I dunno," Wilf shrugged. "I never liked him, but Donna was happy with him so I just never said."
"Dad, you really should have said something." Sylvia shot Jenny a look, and nodded as she folded her arms on the table properly. "But as for us, looking in from the outside...well, Lance presented himself as a good person. Always polite and willing to help out, and his family were good people so I suppose we all assumed he was a good person as well. It was a shock to all of us to find out he'd left Donna...or, as we know now, tried to feed her to alien spiders."
"Deceptive creep." Jenny scowled, then a flash from the TARDIS caught her attention. And then she caught just a glimpse of the door opening, and gave the other two a wry smile. "They're coming now - best go back to talking about Agatha Christie. Or something else."
"I'll put the kettle on again," Wilf said and stood up, then smiled at Jenny. "Come on, sweetheart, this time you can help."
"Thanks Great-gramps!" Jenny bounced up and waved to her parents as they walked in.
And the adventure with Agatha Christie was retold again from two other viewpoints, and the pictures were shown off and admired. Oddly enough to Sylvia and Wilf, that kiss that Jenny had been so emphatic about got barely a mention - it wouldn't have registered at all in their retelling of the adventure if Donna hadn't been so blustery about it being just to save the Doctor's life. The conversation eventually drifted to other subjects, but Wilf in particular noticed how something had Jenny in the doldrums a bit, and made a note to pull her away later to talk about it. Maybe he could talk her into going up the hill with him and get it out of her there.
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Hours later, Jenny stared at the TARDIS-blue book on the desk that Dad and the TARDIS thought she should have and sighed. She'd had the concept of a diary explained, but she'd refused to write in it until Dad had smiled and said he had a diary of his own, and had already filled two others. Called it a Five-Hundred-Year diary, and that was just weird! She knew, intellectually, that he and she would live for centuries, but to have a diary that could handle five hundred years' worth of daily events handed to her? That brought it home with the force of a blow, even though that wasn't what Dad had intended. So she'd smiled and agreed to write in it - and then left for her bedroom before that bright smile could reveal how fake it really was.
She sat there for five minutes more, frowning at the innocent book, then heaved another sigh, found a pen to write with and flipped the book open to find something written on the cover page.
The Five Hundred Year Diary
of
Jenny Caelesta Smith
And below that, Dad had written something in.
My little star,
I know that you don't want to burden us with your worries, but if you hold them too tightly without venting them, you'll only wind up hurting yourself. I know. So write your thoughts and hopes and, yes, even your fears here, and be safe in the knowledge that no one else will see them unless you want them to. And don't forget all your experiences as well - having past events written down can be extremely useful in the future.
Love,
Dad
She sniffed at that, and rubbed her eyes a moment to stop the burning. Her Dad knew, and gave her this to help her. She'd have to apologise in the morning for the fake smile she'd given him, and let him know she appreciated the thought and the gift. She bit the end of the pen, then flipped the page to make her very first entry.
My very first diary entry, and I don't really know what to write. Perhaps I should start with my name. My mum, Donna, named me Jenny when I was born, because I didn't have a name. She also argued with my dad about accepting me no matter how I'd come about. Which is a good thing, otherwise I wouldn't have a middle name - Dad gave me that when we went to meet Mum's parents, just before we ate dinner. Caelesta means 'star', and Dad got all mushy when he said he picked it because I was his little star. And I think that's what made Nan not quite so sharp with him like she'd been before, because he got all mushy. Oh, this is coming out completely out of order! I shan't erase, I'll just start below this.
After she'd caught up with the first four days of her existence, Jenny sighed and started writing about what was bothering her the most.
I still feel wretched about killing that Vespiform, but Great-Gramps helped when he dragged me up the hill for a talk. He was a soldier too, and he knows that a soldier's first duty is to stop whatever is threatening the innocents of the world. Or just where you are, and Mum and Agatha were definitely innocents. He said I'd feel bad about it, and not to ever stop feeling bad about having to end a life because if I did, it'd mean I'd stopped caring. And apparently it's really really hard to start caring again after you stop. So I promised him that I'd always try and make things come to a peaceful end, but if I had to kill, I'd always regret it. It made me feel better talking to another soldier who wanted to be a soldier, rather than talking with Dad, who was pretty much forced to fight all his battles. Even though Dad's lived longer and has more experience...I just feel like Great-Gramps understands that part of me better.
After our talk, Dad came up the hill and I wish I'd stayed to listen, because Great-Gramps started talking about Mum, and how he could see she and Dad were getting closer. But I had to go so Dad would be able to talk without worrying, so I'll never know exactly how many denials he put forth before Great-Gramps got him to think about it. And no, I am not going to pester Dad about it, that would be wrong. And weird, but mostly wrong. I wasn't even supposed to hear Great-Gramps anyway, and...well, I don't want to think about it too hard, even if I do want Mum and Dad together. A watched pot never boils, said Nan, and I think she meant not pestering Mum and Dad about their feelings for each other. I'm glad she's on-side now though - she may not nudge Mum and Dad like Great-Gramps, but she wasn't happy at the thought of Mum and Dad being together until Great-Gramps reminded her that happiness with a loved one was worth any pain. I don't think I was supposed to hear that either, but I can't help having better-than-human hearing! Which is really just part of me, but it means I have to be extra careful not to accidentally listen in because that's rude and wrong. Or so says Mum, and she's mostly right all the time, so I'll just be good unless we get locked in another cell or something where I'll need to listen in.
But being better than human cuts to the heart of why I started using this diary instead of letting it sit around and collect dust - well, it would if the TARDIS would let dust settle. It hit me hard, just tonight when Dad gave me this diary, that Mum's human. Humans have lots shorter lifespans than Time Lords, and they can't regenerate. It isn't fair - we'll lose her before we've barely had her! And I don't want to lose my mum! Yes, I know it's in the future, but still, it's a scary and painful thought and makes me want to cry just thinking about it. Stupid tears trying to blur my writing...
I can't even begin to think about how losing Mum will affect Dad either. If they're together, that's a good thing for the now because they'll both be happy. But he won't even have a hundred years with her, and then he'll have to go on for the rest of his lives without her, and that's horrible! And I'm afraid of what Dad might do without Mum, and I don't know if I'll be strong enough by then to stop him from doing something stupid. Like burning through his remaining regenerations and leaving me and the TARDIS all alone.
I suppose I could go have a child by progenation (so much easier than growing one inside me!) and then we wouldn't be alone anymore after that...but after the problems Dad had just accepting me, I don't know...oh, this is stupid. I'm worrying so much about what could happen years and years and years from now that I'm forgetting to live in the now. Now is Mum and Dad and me, and I won't spoil anything for them by fretting about the future.
Now I just have to figure out how to stuff the fear of being alone in the future away so it doesn't interfere with my happy now.
Jenny.
Jenny read over her first diary entry one more time before closing it and putting it away in a drawer. Hopes, worries, thoughts and fears - oh, Dad had got it right with that. And she tried to stuff away the fear of being alone in the universe, she really did, but she couldn't stop thinking about it, and tears welled up in her eyes. With a stifled sob, she threw herself on her bed, burying her face in a pillow so no one could hear her being stupid about the future...one that might not even happen. Even the comforting hug of the TARDIS didn't help, because even she couldn't reassure her about Dad's future.
So this was the second night in her short life that Jenny cried herself to sleep.
Chapter 5
Author: cassikat
Disclaimer: Wish I did own them - a lot of things would have been different.
Rating: PG-13
Characters/Pairings: Tenth Doctor, Donna Noble, Jenny (eventually Doctor/Donna)
Summary: One decision can change a life. Or three. Donna made the decision to stay for Jenny's funeral, and the changes ripple throughout the Universe. An AU beginning with the end of The Doctor's Daughter.
Author's Note: Second part of the second Interlude - this one gets a bit teary at the end. And still love to tkelparis, who makes sure I don't leave important information out. :) Also special thanks to tardis_mole, for reminding me about how useful some things can be. Like diaries. :) Love ya both!
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Interlude 2: Part 2: Confusion is Nothing New
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"So, what's gone wrong that you're out here and they're still in the TARDIS, sweetheart?" Wilf asked his quasi-great-granddaughter, who was fidgeting all over the kitchen.
"Hmm? Oh, nothing's wrong. Mum's talking with Martha, letting her know I'm alive because she was there when I was born, and Dad's doing a bit with the TARDIS, and I needed to talk to you and Nan without them." She huffed and would have continued her antsy movements, save for Sylvia's entrance.
"And what's all this then? Interpretive dance?" Sylvia snorted and shooed Jenny to the table while she went to put the kettle on. "Jenny Caelesta, sit down before you wear a hole in the floor."
Jenny heaved a huge sigh and sat down at the kitchen table, supporting her chin in her hands. Well, until Sylvia'd called out "elbows off the table, young lady!"
"Now then, calm down and tell us what's on your mind, sweetheart. You're starting to worry us a bit," Wilf patted one of Jenny's hands.
"It's nothing bad, really. It's just," Jenny sighed again and shook her head. "They're being really confusing, Dad and Mum. And more than a bit ridiculous."
"Oh, what have they done now?" Sylvia huffed as she put the teapot in the middle of the table. "Dad, could you go get those muffins I brought home?"
"Course I can." Wilf smiled at his daughter and patted Jenny's hand again before hoisting himself up to go and get the muffins.
"Well, they...I suppose they -did- do something, but I'm not sure it's what I'm seeing it as. Which is what's got me so...well, fidgety, I guess. And I really could help with fixing tea, Nan." Jenny tried a hopeful smile when her Nan came back with the cups and saucers, the sugar dish and the lemons.
"I know you could, Jenny-dear, but we've a routine, Dad and I." Sylvia smiled fondly at her quondam granddaughter and fixed up the cups as Wilf came back with the muffins. "So, what did they do?"
"I bet it was something interesting." Wilf commented as he sat down after putting the muffins in reach of the three of them. "Don't tell me, they've started admitting they like each other." He smirked a bit and claimed a muffin after thanking his daughter for his cuppa.
"Dad!" Sylvia exclaimed, shocked that he'd even suggest such a thing. After all, the Doctor was a nutter of an alien, even if he did have a lovely and big-hearted daughter. She didn't want her only daughter mixed up with an alien more than she already was - really, what kind of life was that?
"Sorry Nan, but Great-Gramps nailed it. I think they're starting to like-like each other." Jenny sighed and added her lemon to her tea, then took a sip and started telling her Nan and Great-Gramps everything. From the look on Dad's face when he'd seen them come out of the TARDIS dressed for the 1920's (though she held off on the photos until later - Mum would be annoyed if she didn't get to see their faces.), to how he'd reacted when Mum had been flirted with...along with his reaction to her own self being flirted with. And the look and how his voice had got all husky, and the interesting thing with Agatha Christie, and getting what 'couple' meant explained, so she never had to wonder 'a couple of what' again.
"And Mum called Dad 'cute' when she was comparing him to Hercule Poirot! Course I don't think she realised she was doing it, but still!" Jenny exclaimed, then went on with telling the story of what'd happened - the murder mystery with Agatha Christie. And all about the giant wasp, and the people they'd met (and about the murders), and the education she'd gotten when Dad had taken that sample of stinger goo. And then about the most confusing part of that whole episode, very nearly. Dad being poisoned, and how he cured it.
"Seriously, I thought we were going to lose Dad when he got poisoned. But he's going to teach me how to neutralize poisons...I just hope if I ever get in that position, that someone I like will give me a shock like Mum gave Dad." Jenny sipped her tea and missed the looks from her Nan and Great-Gramps.
"Just what sort of shock was that?" Sylvia asked, refreshing their cups.
"Hm? Oh, Mum kissed Dad - right after he'd eaten a handful of anchovies. Icky little fishes, how disgusting is that? And there I was wondering how to get him an electrical shock." Jenny smiled brightly at her Nan for the refreshing, then added more lemon and nibbled at a muffin.
"Oh she did not!" Sylvia huffed, rolling right over her dad murmuring 'Did she really?'. "And even if she did, it was just to shock him for his cure, right?"
"Well, that's what I'm not sure about." Jenny replied after swallowing a mouthful of muffin. "See, Dad said 'I must do that again', and then he went mumbling around about how he meant doing the detox again. I think he thought she'd slap him, but I swear I heard Mum say 'Skip the anchovies next time'!" By this time, she was pulling the muffin apart into bits, and when she realised what she was doing, folded her hands in her lap in embarrassment. "So you see what's gotten me in such a pother," she finished, sheepishly. "I really think Mum and Dad are starting to want to be together-together, like I thought they were when I was born."
"Better him than some of the other blokes she's turned up with," Wilf nodded and sipped his tea. "After all, he respects her. And he's good for her, too. Haven't seen her so excited about the possibilities of life than when she was looking for him. And nowadays, it's like she's found where she was always meant to be."
"Hmmph," Sylvia snorted. "I'd be happier if she was with someone her own species and had a job to support herself and her family with." She closed her eyes a moment and sighed, then continued. "I've got nothing against you two being aliens, sweetheart. It's just...I'd like grandchildren, and it's not very likely I'll see any more than you if she takes up with your father, is it, with him being an alien and her being human? And all this travelling - oh, it's all fun and games now, but later on is when Donna's going to regret not settling down."
"Well, at least Dad's not like that Lance," Jenny snorted indignantly, just like her mum and Nan, and started picking up pieces of muffin to mush back together.
"And what's Lance got to do with anything? He had a good career, and a bright future ahead of him-"
"And he was using Mum the entire time, too!" Muffin bits abandoned, Jenny frowned at Sylvia. "He was working with an alien, and he was basically slowly poisoning Mum. Well, not really poisoning, exactly, but same difference, because Huon particles are deadly for humans. And he was feeding them to her for months and months, so a giant intelligent spider could unlock a ship full of more giant spiders. Omnivorous spiders!"
"Now really Jenny, I know he up and vanished on her - but Donna said he was cheating on her and ran off." Sylvia frowned right back, and gestured to Jenny's plate. "Finish that up, dear."
"Well, you didn't know Dad was an alien at the time either, and she probably figured telling you that Lance had run off was easier to explain than telling you he'd pretty much sold her out to a giant spider-thing to unlock her ship and be the first meal of thousands or millions of hungry giant spiders. And I know it's true cos they both told me all about it last night, together."
"So...your dad saved her life. Probably started this whole liking him thing off too, with the effort she'd been putting in to find him again," Wilf shook his head and smiled at Jenny eating bits of muffin, then patted his daughter on the arm. "Now sweetheart, when looked at it that way, the Doctor's a lot better for our Donna than Lance was, isn't he?"
"Yes, I suppose so," Sylvia was pale from imagining what could have happened to her only daughter, and wasn't quite up to form. "I suppose that was your father, then, that drained the Thames?"
"Mmhmm," Jenny hummed through a mouthfull of muffin, then swallowed and answered properly. "Yes, to drown the spiders. Mum saved his life then, according to him. They didn't go into too much detail about that though...just that they wound up on top of the flood barrier in the end." Well actually Nan was having a hard enough time thinking about Dad liking Mum, so Jenny didn't want to tell her that Dad had dark places in his head that he could get lost in and needed dragging out of. So she went on to ask some questions that had been bothering her since last night's story. "I still don't understand everything that's involved in a wedding though. And how could all of you have had the reception party-thing without Mum? After she'd been accidentally kidnapped and all?"
"Yes, well," It was Sylvia's turn to look down at her plate and toy with a muffin. "Partly because it was paid for already, and it would have been a waste of money to cancel. And partly...well, Donna's pulled a few tricks in her time, and most of us thought her disappearance was one of them. Didn't think aliens would actually get personally involved with us then, did we? As for weddings...well, there are a lot of old customs and traditions wrapped up in those - which in particular did you have questions about?"
"Huh." Jenny tilted her head as she tried to assimilate the explanation. Humans were weird in their behaviour sometimes, but she could understand not wanting to waste resources. Perhaps that was enough of an explanation...anyway, she really wanted to know about weddings, and what was so special about them. "Well, I don't understand the entire concept, not really. Mum said that parents should be married when we were talking about babies and how they came about, but we really didn't discuss it much further than that, just that people were married once they'd had a wedding. I don't even really understand why parents should be married. Not to mention what rings have to do with it."
"I'm sure there's someone who can go into the history of weddings much better than I can. But what it all comes down to, in the end, it's just a way of announcing to the world - or one general section of it - that two people have chosen to spend the rest of their lives together." Wilf smiled wistfully, then shook his head. "Course, your Nan and I are living proof that a husband can outlive his wife or vice versa. But it's better to have had that time than not to."
Sylvia took over then, to attempt to explain the concept of wedding rings to her alien sort-of granddaughter. "There's engagement rings and there are wedding rings. Engagement rings are given when the man asks the woman to marry him - usually cost quite a bit as well, to indicate how serious he is about it, as well as how capable he is of providing for his future wife. Wedding rings are usually simpler, and are a visible token that the woman or man is unavailable to other people. Not that it seems to matter much to some people," she sniffed, then waved a hand, "but I'm not going to bog you down with all the idiotic things people can do to mess themselves up."
Jenny sighed and propped her head up on her hands again. "I'm still confused, but I think I've got the general concept now. Right now I want to know if either of you two know why Mum went for a creep like Lance? I mean, she said she was in love and she wanted kids, but...why would she go for such a creep when she's such a wonderful person?"
"I dunno," Wilf shrugged. "I never liked him, but Donna was happy with him so I just never said."
"Dad, you really should have said something." Sylvia shot Jenny a look, and nodded as she folded her arms on the table properly. "But as for us, looking in from the outside...well, Lance presented himself as a good person. Always polite and willing to help out, and his family were good people so I suppose we all assumed he was a good person as well. It was a shock to all of us to find out he'd left Donna...or, as we know now, tried to feed her to alien spiders."
"Deceptive creep." Jenny scowled, then a flash from the TARDIS caught her attention. And then she caught just a glimpse of the door opening, and gave the other two a wry smile. "They're coming now - best go back to talking about Agatha Christie. Or something else."
"I'll put the kettle on again," Wilf said and stood up, then smiled at Jenny. "Come on, sweetheart, this time you can help."
"Thanks Great-gramps!" Jenny bounced up and waved to her parents as they walked in.
And the adventure with Agatha Christie was retold again from two other viewpoints, and the pictures were shown off and admired. Oddly enough to Sylvia and Wilf, that kiss that Jenny had been so emphatic about got barely a mention - it wouldn't have registered at all in their retelling of the adventure if Donna hadn't been so blustery about it being just to save the Doctor's life. The conversation eventually drifted to other subjects, but Wilf in particular noticed how something had Jenny in the doldrums a bit, and made a note to pull her away later to talk about it. Maybe he could talk her into going up the hill with him and get it out of her there.
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Hours later, Jenny stared at the TARDIS-blue book on the desk that Dad and the TARDIS thought she should have and sighed. She'd had the concept of a diary explained, but she'd refused to write in it until Dad had smiled and said he had a diary of his own, and had already filled two others. Called it a Five-Hundred-Year diary, and that was just weird! She knew, intellectually, that he and she would live for centuries, but to have a diary that could handle five hundred years' worth of daily events handed to her? That brought it home with the force of a blow, even though that wasn't what Dad had intended. So she'd smiled and agreed to write in it - and then left for her bedroom before that bright smile could reveal how fake it really was.
She sat there for five minutes more, frowning at the innocent book, then heaved another sigh, found a pen to write with and flipped the book open to find something written on the cover page.
The Five Hundred Year Diary
of
Jenny Caelesta Smith
And below that, Dad had written something in.
My little star,
I know that you don't want to burden us with your worries, but if you hold them too tightly without venting them, you'll only wind up hurting yourself. I know. So write your thoughts and hopes and, yes, even your fears here, and be safe in the knowledge that no one else will see them unless you want them to. And don't forget all your experiences as well - having past events written down can be extremely useful in the future.
Love,
Dad
She sniffed at that, and rubbed her eyes a moment to stop the burning. Her Dad knew, and gave her this to help her. She'd have to apologise in the morning for the fake smile she'd given him, and let him know she appreciated the thought and the gift. She bit the end of the pen, then flipped the page to make her very first entry.
My very first diary entry, and I don't really know what to write. Perhaps I should start with my name. My mum, Donna, named me Jenny when I was born, because I didn't have a name. She also argued with my dad about accepting me no matter how I'd come about. Which is a good thing, otherwise I wouldn't have a middle name - Dad gave me that when we went to meet Mum's parents, just before we ate dinner. Caelesta means 'star', and Dad got all mushy when he said he picked it because I was his little star. And I think that's what made Nan not quite so sharp with him like she'd been before, because he got all mushy. Oh, this is coming out completely out of order! I shan't erase, I'll just start below this.
After she'd caught up with the first four days of her existence, Jenny sighed and started writing about what was bothering her the most.
I still feel wretched about killing that Vespiform, but Great-Gramps helped when he dragged me up the hill for a talk. He was a soldier too, and he knows that a soldier's first duty is to stop whatever is threatening the innocents of the world. Or just where you are, and Mum and Agatha were definitely innocents. He said I'd feel bad about it, and not to ever stop feeling bad about having to end a life because if I did, it'd mean I'd stopped caring. And apparently it's really really hard to start caring again after you stop. So I promised him that I'd always try and make things come to a peaceful end, but if I had to kill, I'd always regret it. It made me feel better talking to another soldier who wanted to be a soldier, rather than talking with Dad, who was pretty much forced to fight all his battles. Even though Dad's lived longer and has more experience...I just feel like Great-Gramps understands that part of me better.
After our talk, Dad came up the hill and I wish I'd stayed to listen, because Great-Gramps started talking about Mum, and how he could see she and Dad were getting closer. But I had to go so Dad would be able to talk without worrying, so I'll never know exactly how many denials he put forth before Great-Gramps got him to think about it. And no, I am not going to pester Dad about it, that would be wrong. And weird, but mostly wrong. I wasn't even supposed to hear Great-Gramps anyway, and...well, I don't want to think about it too hard, even if I do want Mum and Dad together. A watched pot never boils, said Nan, and I think she meant not pestering Mum and Dad about their feelings for each other. I'm glad she's on-side now though - she may not nudge Mum and Dad like Great-Gramps, but she wasn't happy at the thought of Mum and Dad being together until Great-Gramps reminded her that happiness with a loved one was worth any pain. I don't think I was supposed to hear that either, but I can't help having better-than-human hearing! Which is really just part of me, but it means I have to be extra careful not to accidentally listen in because that's rude and wrong. Or so says Mum, and she's mostly right all the time, so I'll just be good unless we get locked in another cell or something where I'll need to listen in.
But being better than human cuts to the heart of why I started using this diary instead of letting it sit around and collect dust - well, it would if the TARDIS would let dust settle. It hit me hard, just tonight when Dad gave me this diary, that Mum's human. Humans have lots shorter lifespans than Time Lords, and they can't regenerate. It isn't fair - we'll lose her before we've barely had her! And I don't want to lose my mum! Yes, I know it's in the future, but still, it's a scary and painful thought and makes me want to cry just thinking about it. Stupid tears trying to blur my writing...
I can't even begin to think about how losing Mum will affect Dad either. If they're together, that's a good thing for the now because they'll both be happy. But he won't even have a hundred years with her, and then he'll have to go on for the rest of his lives without her, and that's horrible! And I'm afraid of what Dad might do without Mum, and I don't know if I'll be strong enough by then to stop him from doing something stupid. Like burning through his remaining regenerations and leaving me and the TARDIS all alone.
I suppose I could go have a child by progenation (so much easier than growing one inside me!) and then we wouldn't be alone anymore after that...but after the problems Dad had just accepting me, I don't know...oh, this is stupid. I'm worrying so much about what could happen years and years and years from now that I'm forgetting to live in the now. Now is Mum and Dad and me, and I won't spoil anything for them by fretting about the future.
Now I just have to figure out how to stuff the fear of being alone in the future away so it doesn't interfere with my happy now.
Jenny.
Jenny read over her first diary entry one more time before closing it and putting it away in a drawer. Hopes, worries, thoughts and fears - oh, Dad had got it right with that. And she tried to stuff away the fear of being alone in the universe, she really did, but she couldn't stop thinking about it, and tears welled up in her eyes. With a stifled sob, she threw herself on her bed, burying her face in a pillow so no one could hear her being stupid about the future...one that might not even happen. Even the comforting hug of the TARDIS didn't help, because even she couldn't reassure her about Dad's future.
So this was the second night in her short life that Jenny cried herself to sleep.
Chapter 5