(no subject)
i talked to dave today
and i just thought about what i was saying,
and it's all true.
i dont care anymore.
the past is the past. i cant change it.
me and aj happened, that's all.
i disliked katelyn for no reason.
and now i love being around her.
being mad at someone isn't gonna change ANYTHING.
it just makes you feel shitty and bitchy.
you can plan your whole life with the person you think you're gonna be with forever.
but when i think about it.
it can still happen, but with some else.
and it could be better.
i dont care about the past or future.
im living it day by day.
and keeping the good times as memories and discarding the shitty stuff.
i thought about it a lot.
and i might just transfer after first semester.
i want to be with my sister.
theres nothing here anymore besides friends,
who i give my world too.
but if "the boy i like" doesnt want to be with me,
then there's no reason to be here. cause i just have to deal with other boys whom which ill probably break their hearts.
i dont want to be a selfish person.
i want to go to new york.
i want to be there for my sister.
and i want to start my life over.
with one of my best friends by my side.
i want to get a job so i dont feel so useless.
i've also decided that this school year, im going to talk to everyone.
i dont care if they think they're too good for me, or if i dont like them all that much.
im opening up.
im done hiding and wishing i could do things.
im going to do what i want.
no more lies, no more drama (havent really had to deal with it, thank god), and no more bullshit.
Caitlin DeMetsenare is starting over.
and i just thought about what i was saying,
and it's all true.
i dont care anymore.
the past is the past. i cant change it.
me and aj happened, that's all.
i disliked katelyn for no reason.
and now i love being around her.
being mad at someone isn't gonna change ANYTHING.
it just makes you feel shitty and bitchy.
you can plan your whole life with the person you think you're gonna be with forever.
but when i think about it.
it can still happen, but with some else.
and it could be better.
i dont care about the past or future.
im living it day by day.
and keeping the good times as memories and discarding the shitty stuff.
i thought about it a lot.
and i might just transfer after first semester.
i want to be with my sister.
theres nothing here anymore besides friends,
who i give my world too.
but if "the boy i like" doesnt want to be with me,
then there's no reason to be here. cause i just have to deal with other boys whom which ill probably break their hearts.
i dont want to be a selfish person.
i want to go to new york.
i want to be there for my sister.
and i want to start my life over.
with one of my best friends by my side.
i want to get a job so i dont feel so useless.
i've also decided that this school year, im going to talk to everyone.
i dont care if they think they're too good for me, or if i dont like them all that much.
im opening up.
im done hiding and wishing i could do things.
im going to do what i want.
no more lies, no more drama (havent really had to deal with it, thank god), and no more bullshit.
Caitlin DeMetsenare is starting over.