hotline
Welcome to the Psychiatric Hotline!
- If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
- If you have multiple personalities, press 2, 3 and 4.
- If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter what number you press. Nobody will answer.
- If you are paranoid delusional, we know who you are AND we are out to get you. Just stay on the line while we trace your call.