Who can say if I've been changed for the better?

[kittykat5755]

Wow, I really haven't updated in a long time. But to be fair, I've only had internet in my apartment since Tuesday. And I wasn't going to use someone else's computer to update everything. I guess a lot has been going on in my life, but now that I finally have a moment to relax and take it all in, I don't really feel like writing about it. I mean, I'll give you guys a brief synopsis, but I doubt it will be anything interesting.

So, in no particular order:

• Liz and I moved into the apartment and have almost completely finished decorating it. I need to get a few more wall hangings/picture frames, and in a few days she's going to meet her parents in New York to get the final touches of furniture (i.e. a coffee table, and a desk chair for my room), but other than that we're done. And it's pretty spiffy. The main room has kind of an Oriental vibe going on, the kitchen is decorated with movie and theatre memorbilia, the bathroom is woodsy, and her bedroom is...well her bedroom. I'll post pictures as soon as the patch for my digital camera software for Linux comes out (next day or two)
• MNI let me go last week with one day's notice because the human resource man is a cheap idiot. My boss was super upset, and so were the doctors who own the company (apparently none of them agreed to letting him fire me...oops). I didn't really care (other than the initial worry about paying my bills), because for a long time I had been bored and overworked for little pay.
• I work at a pretty awesome coffee shop in Branford. I'm making $8 an hour plus tips, and the people there tip quite generously.
• I've spent the last few days pet-sitting Ethan's ferret while he's out in Sedona, Arizona doing a special Silent Dragon/tai chi conference that I'm completely jealous of his attending. I wish I had had the money to go out there. Mykka is adorable though, and she misses her dad incredibly. The first night I was there and let her out, she searched the condo for him, and then went down a flight of stairs to his front door and started pawing at it, as if that would magically bring him home.
  
• Montreal was a lot of fun. Tim and I really didn't spend too much time together because we were interested in seeing different things, but Ethan took me to see a lot of stuff I enjoyed: the Biodome, which is essentially a zoo, but the exhibits are all open and the different rooms have different climates to them; the Botanical gardens, which are just amazingly gorgeous; and an indoor maze that had all these different obstacles and made its guests find various rooms with clues in them before they could actually win (the maze itself was easy to navigate in and out of, but that wasn't it's point). We ate a LOT of good food. The first night there, Tim went off in search of Chinese, and afraid that I was going to loose him since he seemed determined on finding food and not really caring if we could follow him or not (I literally was running to keep up with him until I eventually decided to give up), I ended up going out with Brad and Ethan. We went to a cute little dinner, and then out to a bar to meet up with some of Ethan's friends from college. I was in low spirits because I had wanted to spend time with Tim, but then Brad bought me a shot of gold-schlauger and everybody was laughing because apparently one shot is all it takes to send Trini into la-la land. The four of us had some really awesome times just cruising the streets late at night, and having really amazing conversations in our hotel. Ethan and I went to a jazz club one night, and the rest of the meals were crazy: dim sum (I even tried one of Tim's shark-fin dumplings....you really need to like the taste of fish for those), buffet, falaffel, Tibetean, Thai-influenced Chinese. All in all, it was a really awesome trip and I felt incredibly safe there.
  
• I have a sinus infection that's just starting to clear up and it's annoying the hell out of me.

There hasn't been much else that's really exciting going on in my life. I'm really grateful for my roommate, because she's pretty awesome (she bought me honey for my sinus infection). My mom hasn't been as horrible lately, and she's sending me home every week with plenty of left-overs so I don't have to worry about groceries as often. I know I always say this, but I really do care about Tim. He's an incredible guy, even if he sometimes can be an asshole. Most guys are though. I think the thing that bothers me most though is that he won't openly come out and tell other people that he cares about me and loves me. I know he does, because he tells me so and I can see it when he looks at me and touches me, but sometimes I just wish he'd be completely open about it. When he's hiding it from other people (especially his guy friends), it makes me feel like he's ashamed of caring for me. I don't think it really has anything to do with me, but I personally have no problem admitting how I feel for him. I understand that it could be that he doesn't want to destroy the sanctity of that feeling by inviting others to witness it, but at the same time part of me feels like what he really doesn't want to destroy is the tough-guy image he's so carefully crafted for his friends to see. The thing is though,  I'm not going to stop loving him because of that. Whatever he's willing to give me is what I'm willing to take from him. Though,  I do have my limits and I care too much about myself to let him blatantly hurt me. One night, Brad was over Tim's and Tim was being kind of an idiot (he gets that way when he feels like he has to act around people who aren't me). I decided to go upstairs, and after a little bit Tim knocked at my door so we could all hang out in my apartment. I told him straight out that he couldn't hang out in my apartment unless he was going to be nice because I didn't deserve him treating me as a joke; his response was he was going to be himself, but the entire time he was up here he was really sweet and gentle. I think he saw that I'm starting to love myself, and has a lot more respect for me because of that.

Hmm...my tummy growled...I think I should get something to eat =) later, dears.