Secrets, Chapter 6.2/15
Title: Secrets
Series: Silencio
Disclaimer: This is a non-profit derivative work based on the world and characters of J. K. Rowling.
Characters: Draco Malfoy, Hermione Granger, Others
Genres: Angst, Drama, Romance, Smut
Main Pairing: Draco/Hermione
Story Warnings: Dubious Consent, Epilogue? What Epilogue?, Psychological Trauma, Smut, Substance Abuse
Overall Rating: NC-17
Summary: Nine years after Voldemort's defeat, Hermione decides to take a holiday from her life to work out who she is and what she wants to do with herself. She soon gets the feeling that Draco Malfoy might be the key to her salvation, but Draco seems to be consumed by a need to keep secrets that are destroying him and does not want her interfering. Armed with a determination to save someone who doesn't want to be saved, she sets out to see how he might fit into the oddly shaped puzzle that is her life.
Credit: Thank you to dollfaced and mazvn for the comprehensive beta and filigree1 for the Britpick. Extra thank you to dollfaced for the banner.
Chapter Length: 12,222
TRIGGER WARNING: This chapter contains mentions of self-harm.
* * *
It was a lost cause. The more Draco's mind became crowded with thoughts of how to deal with Granger, the more his arm stung and demanded his attention. He tried drinking and breathing and meditating it away, but nothing helped. He was going insane, and the thought of what exactly might happen when he snapped scared him. Even though they said he wasn't a danger to others, he knew he was capable of doing ugly things when he lost control. He had once spent six months in a protected facility because he'd been pushed too far, had blacked out, and had nearly beat a man to death without realising it. At least they said he had done that. He didn't really remember the incident. All he remembered was talking to a pretty girl while in a very bad state of mind, and then there was a gap before he vaguely remembered being restrained before a crumpled figure on the ground. He remembered seeing the girl standing there, crying, with a black eye. Everyone had assured him that he hadn't been the one to hit her. They said the other man had hit her before Draco had lost it. He couldn't remember, and for all he knew, his parents had paid everyone to put a nicer spin on things.
He knew he had a lot of unresolved anger when it came to Granger, and he was terrified of blacking out and waking up standing over her crumpled body...
Instead he decided to go down to The Three Broomsticks. Carys knew the risk he posed. She could handle it. She would put him to sleep with one simple spell if he as much as glanced at her or another patron the wrong way. And... well, it was high time he visited with his girlfriend, wasn't it? He would sleep with her and it would be the end of this minor physical obsession he'd had with Granger. If there was anything he'd learned in this past decade, it was that no woman's body was irreplaceable. There was always another one that served just as well... even if you sometimes had to search for it for a while. Carys's body was, he knew, delectable. Not only that, but she knew exactly how to please a man. He could easily seek oblivion in her. And if it didn't work the first time, she would let him try again and again until he was satisfied.
As he arrived at the pub, it even seemed like his plan might work. Carys was happy to see him. She'd been worried. But no sooner had he leaned in to kiss her, before he felt an uneasy prickling at the back of his neck. He finished the kiss and looked up to see Granger, standing in the door, staring. She looked away and without further acknowledgement disappeared back out.
"Wasn't that the new teacher?" Carys asked, following his gaze.
Draco saw no use in lying. "Yeah."
"I suppose she got over that dislike of you." Carys's voice was dry and clipped. He supposed that was only natural when he'd ignored her for so long and there were indications that he might have been involved with someone else. He was supposed to put Carys first, after all.
"Not really." Draco looked down at his girlfriend and sighed. Yet again Granger had managed to have a wilting effect on him simply by existing. Perfect. "I have to go."
"What, now?" Carys looked alarmed. "You only just got here. I thought you were staying the night."
"I'm... tired. Just thought I'd say hello." Even he knew how false this rang. He never simply came around for a greeting. "I'll try to make it back again soon."
Before Carys could make any further objections, he gave her a quick peck on the mouth and disappeared.
* * *
Granger must have run most of the way, because Draco's brisk walk didn't catch up with her until they were almost back at the castle. Even when she heard him nearing, she didn't acknowledge him but only sped up her pace. Draco let her get away with it until they were inside and she'd almost made it to her own door, and only then did he make his move. He caught her against the wall, hoping it would scare her enough to stop doing this. He couldn't deal with her interest, he simply couldn't. She squeaked and cringed away from him, but didn't even look him in the eye.
"Let me go." The request was made quietly, but without fear. He both admired and resented her for that. She shouldn't be cowering at anything, but it would be nice if she'd be wary of him, damn it.
"No."
"I mean it, Malfoy."
He looked at her, but she refused to raise her eyes to his. "What did you expect I would do?" he forced out. He didn't like to be this blunt and would prefer to ignore everything until it went away, but the problem with Granger was that she'd never go away on her own. He had to force her or she'd be forever haunting him.
"What you did, I suppose." He appreciated that she didn't try to pretend she didn't know what he was talking about.
"Obviously not or you wouldn't have run off like that."
She flinched. "It's just a lot sooner than I expected, ok?" She finally looked at him, but then looked away again before saying, "I had no idea how forgettable I'd feel. How... insignificant. It took me by surprise, made me think."
"That's how it works. You wanted a one-off and that's what you got! Was I supposed to stay celibate until you finished teaching?"
"No need to lecture me, Malfoy. I know I was being absurd and I'll get over it. I simply don't like it when it's thrown in my face exactly how easily discarded I am."
Easily discarded? Now there was a laugh. He still remembered every excruciating detail from ten years ago. If she'd known that, she'd never have thought of herself as 'easily discarded'. "Nobody threw anything in your face," he said. "You went to her pub. Again, what did you expect?"
"But you're hardly ever there! Look, this is pointless. Go back, and I promise to stay in my rooms like a good little girl." Granger attempted to dismiss him and leave, but he used his body to block her. He told himself it was an attempt to intimidate her and not at all because he liked feeling her body pressed against his.
"How am I supposed to go back when I pissed her off by following you out?" he growled. "You completely ruined all my plans for the whole weekend!"
"I didn't even say anything!"
"You didn't have to. You were bloody obvious. Carys easily worked it all out from a single look."
She finally looked him full in the eye, her chin raised in what had to be the most sexy defiance he'd seen in a long time. He really had to watch his reactions to her. "I thought you had that kind of relationship, or was that not true?" she demanded.
"Watch it," he growled. "It's an open relationship, but not that open. She doesn't like other women acting jealous. She's the only one with that right." Actually he'd told Carys early on that he wouldn't stand for jealous displays, but Granger didn't need to know that.
She snorted. "I have issues with men wanting me one second and turning around to someone else the next. I freely admit that, and I wouldn't call it jealousy. What's your problem that made you follow me all the way home and then physically restrain me to tell me off for looking at you?"
"My problem is with soft little brunettes tempting and teasing me everywhere I go and then acting like I made them a promise. I did no such thing!"
"I know you didn't, Malfoy." Granger reached up to touch his cheek and the simple gesture scorched him. He wanted to pull away but endured it. He deserved the discomfort for even for a second thinking that being near her would be without repercussions. She continued, "I don't even want any promises. I can't explain it. It's not about wanting a boyfriend; I'm not at all interested in something permanent. I just wanted to feel wanted. But it didn't work out the way I thought it would. Suddenly, I went from feeling exciting and desirable to feeling... invisible and forgotten. I suppose I need to have a think about what it is I need and how to get it, because frankly, I don't really know myself."
Draco was afraid that he knew exactly what she wanted. She wanted the feeling of the kind of soul-consuming entanglement she didn't remember they'd already had years ago. The kind of affair that in his experience never ended peacefully. The kind of passion that always seemed to find a way to turn itself into pain, bitterness and even hatred.
She wanted something that never ever ended well and more often than not left you scarred for life.
"Trust me, you don't want what you think you want," he said. Understatement.
"Don't tell me what I want."
"Instead, why don't you go out and find yourself a nice man--"
"Ugh!" She shoved at him so forcefully he took a surprised step back. "Who are you to tell me that?"
"Someone who's tried every kind of dysfunctional relationship out there!"
"And yet you don't seem to know how to get a healthy one."
He couldn't keep himself from sneering. He'd forgotten what a vicious little bitch she could be sometimes, going straight for the jugular. He shouldn't have. That was part of what had attracted him to her in the first place. "But I'm sure you do. So why don't you put that knowledge to good use and stay out of trouble for once, yeah?"
"I already said I don't want a boyfriend. I certainly don't want a husband. I have the rest of my life to be bored to death in domestic bliss with an oh-so-good man that all the world approves of."
"Who said it has to be like that?"
Granger smiled at that, but the smile never reached her eyes. It made her look jaded. "I know it does. Every single man that wants to go out with me is projecting that future so clearly that I'm practically blinded. In the end it will be inevitable, since I really don't want to spend the rest of my life alone. I just... the other day I discovered that before I get back on the path everyone expects me to take, I'd like to feel alive for a little while."
Draco gritted his teeth. How could a woman so supposedly clever be so monumentally stupid? "You do realise that the things that make people feel the most alive are usually the ones that could kill them?"
She nodded. "Then so be it." Then she tilted her head slightly as if a thought occurred to her. "If you're determined that you won't kill me, do you perhaps have any handsome friends that would?"
Draco had no confidence that Granger would be the only one to die from it if he succumbed to temptation, but perhaps that was just as well. He'd felt like his time was running out for a while now already. Why not make a spectacle of it?
* * *
The glass was empty. Again. Draco still didn't like drinking, but he really was at a loss to how else he was supposed to cope with what was happening and his own reaction to it, which was disturbingly enough changing from shame, fear and guilt to excitement. Granger was standing in the middle of his office, perusing her surroundings like she'd never been there before.
"What would it take to cure you of your silly notions?" he then asked.
"Hm?" Granger looked up.
He tried for a smile but ended up with something like a sneer. "Who better to be driven mad by you than a proven madman? That's probably what you thought from the beginning when you set your eyes on me, wasn't it?"
Her eyes widened. "I don't think you're a madman..."
"Then you're wrong! I am a madman. I have no idea why you'd even want to sleep with me. Believe me, you could do better."
She shrugged and hugged herself. "I think you're... sexy, I suppose."
He shook his head. "No. You think my problems can be fixed by the right woman. You think I need a mother figure to nurture me and take care of me. And very probably, you like the idea that other women want me. It really hasn't a lot to do with me."
And yet he found he wanted her to find him sexy. He wanted her to fixate on little things and have her mouth go dry and her imagination go into overdrive, the way his mouth parched and his imagination worked right now as she nibbled on her own lower lip and absently smoothed a lock of unruly hair behind her ear.
It was maddening and a very good reason why he should avoid her and drink more.
She took a deep breath. "Let's get a few things straight. I hate it that you have other women at your beck and call, because too many of them are much prettier than I am and we both know it. I'm not at all interested in being your or anyone else's mother, but I do think some of your problems could be helped if only you wanted them to be. And I really, really mean it when I say I don't want to try to make a boyfriend out of you. Even if I were in the market, I don't think I could ever be in a relationship with someone like you. You're spiteful and mean-spirited and like to hurt people, which are all traits I can't tolerate in a partner. No, what I do like is your physique. And I like the way you sometimes look at me, even when your mouth is saying hateful things. I also enjoyed the way you touched me more than anything I've experienced in years, which is probably quite sad, considering how you treated me afterwards."
He fought down a flinch at the strong dose of honesty. He'd worked hard to give her a poor impression of him, but he didn't particularly like that it had worked. At least she did appear to be physically attracted to him. "I suppose that's a good starting point," he muttered, less happy than he would have been if she'd left out all the negative points.
"I would like you to treat me better, by the way. I can't tell if you hauled me in here because you mean to sleep with me again, but if you do, at least pretend to respect me."
He hesitated and stared into his glass for a moment before he said, "All right." With those words, he knew he'd succumbed. He would take her to bed again. Tonight. He'd been foolish to think he could turn her away. He wanted her, wanted his own destruction, too much. "Just remember that any entanglement with me will be going nowhere."
She smiled sardonically. "How could I forget?"
"Easily. You don't know how to have sex without a relationship so you'll probably begin to fall for me. Nip it in the bud. We don't want things to get messy."
"Not that you think highly of yourself or anything."
He snorted and refilled his glass. If he'd thought highly of himself, he wouldn't have warned her.
"I'm not as inexperienced as you think."
"You've had one other partner, that doesn't count as vast experience."
"Wrong."
That surprised him as he'd never even once imagined that she might've been with anyone but Weasley. The very idea seemed impossible, not to mention unpalatable. "Oh?"
She sniffed and began fondling some of his textbooks that were lucky enough to be positioned on a shelf near her. "Not that it's any of your business, but I have put myself out there after Ron and I broke up."
"So, two?"
"It's really none of your business, but... three." She blushed and ducked her head at the admission. She was indeed the worldliest woman he'd ever met.
"And that's not enough for you to feel alive and desirable and whatnot?"
She shrugged. "The first one after Ron was my attempt to physically get over Ron with a one-night-stand. It wasn't what I expected at all. I didn't feel like he wanted me. I felt like he... he used me, if that makes any sense in this context. It was like he didn't even see me, I was merely a vessel for him to rub off in. It was very disappointing. The second one was me thinking that maybe I wanted more of an emotional connection. So I went out a few times with a nice man who'd shown some interest in me, and then eventually ended up in the bedroom with him. He seemed to really like me, but... while I liked him too, I felt like we were completely disconnected in bed. It was just as well, since he got very nasty when I ended it."
"And then I fucked you on a table so hard you bled and that is what you want?"
"You make it sound so romantic." She fluttered her eyelashes.
His answering grin couldn't be helped. "Yeah... romance is not part of this deal."
"Good," she said, looking for all the world like she meant it. "But are we going to have sex tonight?"
The candid question nearly made Draco choke on his drink and he had to finish a round of very unsexy coughing before he could finally croak, "You can't simply ask a question like that!"
"I thought that was what we were discussing? Besides, I only wanted to know if you meant to do anything about it tonight, because then I'd suggest you stop drinking while you were still able."
That was enough of a provocation to make Draco drain his glass before he pronounced, "I am always able!"
A man did have his pride, even if it wasn't necessarily backed by the truth.
* * *
Before long, Draco decided that Granger was far too confident, entering a madman's private rooms. How could she be so... casual about all this? She shouldn't know how to be so at ease with opening the door to his bedroom and going in uninvited. She shouldn't even be there. Stupid woman. Stupid, fearless, sexy woman.
"I read Trials and Tribulations at Hogwarts," Granger said out of the blue. "Thank you for the recommendation. I found it very enlightening."
Draco stiffened. There was no reason why she'd forget that book. Either she'd simply read too many books to remember them all, or it must have been tied to her memories in some way, in which case he didn't want to dwell on it. "I don't remember recommending it."
"You assumed I'd read it. That was enough."
"For the record, I assume you've read just about every book in the universe. But I'm not really here to talk about books..." He gave her a thorough once-over, trying to gather all his scattered thoughts and feelings and focus them into one single purpose: Want. It wasn't actually that difficult. His mind was very willing to give up images of her naked, writhing, gasping, moaning...
Her eyes widened and she began nervously fiddling with her hair. Good. He slowly moved closer to her, his head filling with memories of her scent, her sounds, the feel of her beneath him, around him... She was so passionate and she could use that as a weapon, but it was perhaps better that she didn't realise that until he was out of her range. For now, he'd simply stoke the flames and enjoy the sting. He carefully cupped her cheek and brushed his lips over hers. It was clear from her hesitant reaction that she wasn't yet sure what she was expected to do. Oh, how tainted she must be.
"Where's your wand?" he whispered against her mouth.
She gave him a blank look and then blinked as if to clear her head. "In my, um, pocket?"
He dropped his hand and turned his back on her. "Always keep it within reach. Under the pillow, maybe."
"Why would I need to?"
"Because I could lose control and it's always dangerous when a madman loses control."
"How... comforting."
"You're free to back out any time." He didn't mean that, but that would be for her to discover if she tried.
"So are you."
He couldn't help the sardonic smile. He'd never been free. "Then get on the bed."
She did as told, making a point out of placing her wand under his pillow. If she was obedient, then that was definitely new. Back when they'd been involved, she'd always been either skittish or teasing, but never obedient.
He sidled up next to her and bent over to press his lips against hers, very careful to only touch her with his lips and tongue for now. Of course she had different ideas, running her hands up his chest and around his neck, bringing him closer. No, she definitely wouldn't be obedient. She would take what she wanted, and she wouldn't know the consequences. But then, he knew the consequences and right now he simply didn't care as her heady kisses were deepening, robbing him of the last of his senses.
He somehow managed to draw back, and fluffed up a pillow and leant against it, semi-reclined. Granger didn't waste any time in sliding on top of him and then glide her hands down to his belt. The witch went straight for the gold. Damn her. There were few things he found more seductive than the simple act of a witch opening his belt, as that always held such promise. Plus, getting undressed by a desirable witch whilst she stared at his groin was definitely cause for excitement. Granger noticed his physical reaction and shot him a crooked smile before she began swiftly unbuttoning his trousers. Only when she was excruciatingly carefully moving her hand inside his fly, did he stop her.
"Patience," he said. "You need to do a better job of undressing us first."
She raised an eyebrow and then ran her hand down her own neck, down to caress her neckline that, unfortunately for his blood pressure, was showing a bit of cleavage today. "Us?" she then asked. "Aren't you going to do anything, then?"
He slowly shook his head, even as his eyes seemed glued to her chest. "You're so experienced--you show me how it's done."
She slid her hands down the front of her body to the hem of her blouse, but just as he thought she was going to pull it up and over her head, she seemed to change her mind and put her hands back on his chest instead. He hissed with frustration. He wanted her naked skin, damn it.
"Hey, if I decide what to take off first, it's going to be the bits that are fun for me," she said with a laugh.
"Then do it," he said, taking her wrists and moving her hands to the top button of his shirt. He noticed with some satisfaction that her pulse jumped, even if she didn't let on that she was affected.
She slowly, very slowly, obeyed. For each button she leant a little forward, and every time he could feel the slight shifting of her weight on his lap, the tightening of the muscles in her thighs, and the soft caress of her breast brushing his arm. It was all driving him insane. He wanted her to ride him. He wanted to be hot, sweaty and naked. He wanted to be embraced by oblivion and lose himself in her.
Finally he snapped and sat up straight, tilting her so she had to support herself on one hand behind herself. She looked so damn inviting like that, even wearing a slight pout, that he didn't dare look at her for too long lest he simply fall on her like last time. He seemed to have next to zero restraint when it came to her. Instead he grabbed the back of his shirt and pulled it over his head. There, now at least she couldn't torment him with that any longer.
"You know, Malfoy," she teased as he threw his shirt aside. "You're awfully impatient for someone so experienced."
He was, and there was no real excuse for it. "I simply bore easily," he said, leaning back, running his hands up her thighs. She was unfortunately wearing trousers, but that could easily be remedied.
"You don't seem bored," she said and casually cupped his groin.
He sucked in a breath. Maybe he'd given Granger too little credit. She certainly knew how to tease. "Take off your clothes."
She pursed her lips, mock-pondering as she merely stroked him through the fabric of his trousers.
"Now," he demanded in a hoarse voice. "Do it now, or I'll..."
"You'll what?"
He wasn't going to let her call his bluff. "Fuck you hard, just the way you like it, but deny you your orgasm for hours."
He saw her pupils dilate and felt her breath speed up a bit. She liked that thought, did she? "Hours? Now you're bragging."
"Try me. You think I'm wanted for my delightful personality?" He shot her a dark smile.
"I'm still not convinced it would be a punishment..."
"I'll make you beg for it. You will be so frustrated that you won't know what to do with yourself. I may even allow myself to come once or twice so you feel the full impact of it. I could make you weep with want." Weeping wasn't exactly what he had in mind for her, though, but she seemed to find the idea titillating.
"And what will I get if I do what you want me to?"
"All the orgasms you want."
She leant forwards until her lips were brushing the shell of his ear before she purred, "That's quite a promise."
He knew. Far too well. "Take off your clothes."
"Mmm, no." Her eyes were laughing at him again.
He did the only thing he could do under the circumstances--he toppled her and swiftly relieved her of most of her clothes before she could object. Experience did have its perks, although she had to help kick her trousers away.
She was still amused and in the mood to tease, so she snuck her hand inside his trousers and underwear and once again began on those maddening strokes that had driven him out of his mind last time. She pressed her lips to his ear again and whispered, "Want me to suck you?"
His whole body gave a jerk. He would love to feel those soft lips wrapped around his cock, but unfortunately he had different plans. "No, not right now." He closed his eyes on a shiver. "But keep this up and you'll have come on your belly soon... Or maybe your breasts..." He had to swallow at that thought. He'd love to finish on her breasts. He'd caught himself imagining it more than once since last time.
"Maybe I want you to..." she muttered and nibbled on his neck.
It felt so good that he almost forgot himself, but then a more sentient part of him seemed to realise what was going on and he snapped out of it. He grabbed her wrist to still her hand. "I'm supposed to do the teasing for once, witch."
"I'm not teasing. I need you to lose control." She kissed him and caught his lower lip between her teeth for a light nibble before she let go. "Please..."
She had no idea how close she was to being granted her wish. Or maybe she did. He didn't like that thought. He needed the control more than she did.
"I'm not ready to do that," he lied, before pushing down his trousers and underwear and settling down on top of the still underwear-clad Granger. "Now stop talking," he muttered and kissed her, deeply, to shut her up and distract her.
She complied and he reined back his own need so he could do what he did best--focus and pay attention to detail. Her lips had just the right amount of fullness. They were made to be kissed and, if he recalled correctly, were quite talented in other areas as well. As he moved his lips down her neck, he needlessly confirmed that it was the home of at least one very sensitive area that made her wild if he as much as breathed on it. There also appeared to be one lesser known spot behind the opposite ear that made her gasp. He skipped lightly past her collarbone and down past her still covered breasts. He knew that if he began exploring her breasts, he'd never move on. However, when he moved down her belly, she stiffened and grabbed his shoulders, and he felt compelled to return to her mouth to give her a reassuring kiss.
"Don't worry," he muttered. "I'm not doing anything you don't want me to. Just a bit of exploration, yeah?"
Her eyes were dubious, but she seemed to accept this--cautiously--and he returned to what he'd been doing. On the left side of her navel, there were three almost invisible vertical stripes. Without thinking, he placed a fingertip on each and followed them down. They weren't scratch marks, though. They were stretch marks. Slightly peculiar in her case, but not uncommon. He shot her a quick glance, but she didn't particularly appear to have noticed what he'd been doing. Good. Women didn't like it when these little things were noticed, least of all during sex. He continued down, soothing her by placing a hand on her pubic bone as if to shield her better than the damp cloth of her knickers could, as he continued down her thigh, pulling up her leg, so his tongue could dart behind her knee. Her gasp told him that not only was it unexpected for her, but it was also highly appreciated. He smirked and continued on.
By the time he was done exploring her legs and feet, he had found several sensitive spots that teenage him would never even have dreamed of looking for. He'd save the back of her for later, since he was already half-crazed from her scent and the way she squirmed and whimpered under him. He refused to become a mindless savage like last time and even managed to swiftly relieve them of their last scraps of clothing without tearing any of it.
She arched against him and whimpered, "Malfoy, please."
He knew she needed to come. He should let her. The problem was that he wasn't certain that he would be able to keep himself from joining her if he were to watch her orgasm right now. She needed more. He needed more.
"No," he muttered against the base of her neck. "You've been a bad girl. Bad girls have to suffer with the bad boys."
"At least be inside me," she whispered in reply, turning her head so her breath caressed his face.
He tried in vain to swallow his groan. He was grappling hard with his control, unable to ignore the soft, moist warmth cradling his length, promising bliss. "Yes. God, yes."
Much like last time, she thrust her pelvis against him and for a moment his mind blanked. It was so bloody good. Before he could reveal himself to be the incompetent lover that he always felt like around her, he drew back just enough to angle his hips and slowly push into her. But of course, she wasn't having any of that, and before he knew it, she'd thrust against him again, and he was completely buried inside her.
"Easy," he groaned. "Need to... take it easy."
She moved against him and he had to focus everything he had to not blindly pound into her until he found release. The idea of this lasting hours really was laughable now. "Please come," she whispered and the jolt that went through him almost made him spill.
"Ladies first," he muttered, steadying her hip and forcing his own hips into a rhythm he found frustratingly slow at this point.
"No!" She squirmed against him and rocked her hips, very deliberately trying to make him lose control. It was working. His thoughts were becoming incoherent and filled with nothing but her and how much he wanted to come in her, on her, with her, for her...
With what was left of his willpower, he steadied her one last time and tried to summon some reason from what was left of his brains. "Usually I could go a few times, but I'm tired and more than a little bit drunk and I'd really prefer it if you came first, just in case."
"You don't understand," she muttered, taking him by surprise and rolling them both over so she was on top. "That's not what I need. I need you to look into my eyes, tell me how amazing it feels, and come." Then she began moving.
His eyes rolled up in his head and he wasn't able to think any longer. He wasn't able to resist. "Unfair, Hermione. You know I need you. More than any... ah, Merlin. Please don't stop. Just... please don't. K-keep this rhythm, please. Yes. Oh, God, I'm... I'm... fuck!" He grabbed Hermione's hips and pushed her down as he thrust up into her, coming harder than he could remember even doing last time. He had to bite his own tongue till it bled to keep from saying things he would regret while riding high on this feeling of complete ecstasy. It wasn't a problem he usually had, but he reasoned that it must be her giving nature that made him want to validate her and tell her how he'd always wanted her. It would be a bad idea, though. A really bad idea.
When he'd finally got his breath and his brains back, he said, "I can't believe you made me do that."
She smirked down at him, still poised above him with him inside her. "Took you long enough, actually."
He shook his head at her. "Let me lick you."
"We just had sex!" She wrinkled her nose, back to being the prissy little thing.
He shrugged, not overly bothered by anything right now. "We can clean you up first."
She shook her head.
"I know you said you don't care if you come, but you're positively vibrating. I'd love to watch you orgasm." He squeezed her hips where he was still holding her.
She slowly grabbed one of his hands and slid it down between her legs where they were connected. "Then make me. With you still inside me."
He had no trouble at all finding her sensitive and swollen nub between her slick folds, and as soon as she felt the merest brush of his fingers, she whimpered and he felt her tightening around his sensitive cock. He groaned. She felt so delicious and he really needed to taste her one of these days, but since she didn't seem to want it to happen today... He began rubbing her in earnest and she squirmed on top of him, making him swallow a moan when he felt himself already hardening again. But it was a promise he wouldn't be able to follow through on for a while yet, so he merely hoped she enjoyed grinding against him and pulled her down for a kiss as his fingers danced over her clit again and again and again and...
He hadn't been exaggerating when he'd said that she was vibrating. And with every caress, she jerked and jumped and whimpered and drove him absolutely mad. Finally, her whimpers became deeper and more persistent, until she made a sound that sounded almost like a sob and he felt the ripple around his cock.
Is it possible to go off again this soon?
He wished it were. He'd love to come inside her as she looked and felt so completely lost to pleasure. Her grinding had stopped for the most part, although she still softly moved her hips, like she didn't even know what she was doing. It felt amazing. Unfortunately, now that she was spent, she looked exhausted, and he would probably need to keep her up for at least another hour if they were to have a thoroughly satisfying round two. So he did his best to squash his urges. For now.
He would have her again, and next time he wouldn't let her off this easily.
Next Chapter
Chapter 6 Part 1
Master List
Series: Silencio
Disclaimer: This is a non-profit derivative work based on the world and characters of J. K. Rowling.
Characters: Draco Malfoy, Hermione Granger, Others
Genres: Angst, Drama, Romance, Smut
Main Pairing: Draco/Hermione
Story Warnings: Dubious Consent, Epilogue? What Epilogue?, Psychological Trauma, Smut, Substance Abuse
Overall Rating: NC-17
Summary: Nine years after Voldemort's defeat, Hermione decides to take a holiday from her life to work out who she is and what she wants to do with herself. She soon gets the feeling that Draco Malfoy might be the key to her salvation, but Draco seems to be consumed by a need to keep secrets that are destroying him and does not want her interfering. Armed with a determination to save someone who doesn't want to be saved, she sets out to see how he might fit into the oddly shaped puzzle that is her life.
Credit: Thank you to dollfaced and mazvn for the comprehensive beta and filigree1 for the Britpick. Extra thank you to dollfaced for the banner.
Chapter Length: 12,222
TRIGGER WARNING: This chapter contains mentions of self-harm.
* * *
It was a lost cause. The more Draco's mind became crowded with thoughts of how to deal with Granger, the more his arm stung and demanded his attention. He tried drinking and breathing and meditating it away, but nothing helped. He was going insane, and the thought of what exactly might happen when he snapped scared him. Even though they said he wasn't a danger to others, he knew he was capable of doing ugly things when he lost control. He had once spent six months in a protected facility because he'd been pushed too far, had blacked out, and had nearly beat a man to death without realising it. At least they said he had done that. He didn't really remember the incident. All he remembered was talking to a pretty girl while in a very bad state of mind, and then there was a gap before he vaguely remembered being restrained before a crumpled figure on the ground. He remembered seeing the girl standing there, crying, with a black eye. Everyone had assured him that he hadn't been the one to hit her. They said the other man had hit her before Draco had lost it. He couldn't remember, and for all he knew, his parents had paid everyone to put a nicer spin on things.
He knew he had a lot of unresolved anger when it came to Granger, and he was terrified of blacking out and waking up standing over her crumpled body...
Instead he decided to go down to The Three Broomsticks. Carys knew the risk he posed. She could handle it. She would put him to sleep with one simple spell if he as much as glanced at her or another patron the wrong way. And... well, it was high time he visited with his girlfriend, wasn't it? He would sleep with her and it would be the end of this minor physical obsession he'd had with Granger. If there was anything he'd learned in this past decade, it was that no woman's body was irreplaceable. There was always another one that served just as well... even if you sometimes had to search for it for a while. Carys's body was, he knew, delectable. Not only that, but she knew exactly how to please a man. He could easily seek oblivion in her. And if it didn't work the first time, she would let him try again and again until he was satisfied.
As he arrived at the pub, it even seemed like his plan might work. Carys was happy to see him. She'd been worried. But no sooner had he leaned in to kiss her, before he felt an uneasy prickling at the back of his neck. He finished the kiss and looked up to see Granger, standing in the door, staring. She looked away and without further acknowledgement disappeared back out.
"Wasn't that the new teacher?" Carys asked, following his gaze.
Draco saw no use in lying. "Yeah."
"I suppose she got over that dislike of you." Carys's voice was dry and clipped. He supposed that was only natural when he'd ignored her for so long and there were indications that he might have been involved with someone else. He was supposed to put Carys first, after all.
"Not really." Draco looked down at his girlfriend and sighed. Yet again Granger had managed to have a wilting effect on him simply by existing. Perfect. "I have to go."
"What, now?" Carys looked alarmed. "You only just got here. I thought you were staying the night."
"I'm... tired. Just thought I'd say hello." Even he knew how false this rang. He never simply came around for a greeting. "I'll try to make it back again soon."
Before Carys could make any further objections, he gave her a quick peck on the mouth and disappeared.
* * *
Granger must have run most of the way, because Draco's brisk walk didn't catch up with her until they were almost back at the castle. Even when she heard him nearing, she didn't acknowledge him but only sped up her pace. Draco let her get away with it until they were inside and she'd almost made it to her own door, and only then did he make his move. He caught her against the wall, hoping it would scare her enough to stop doing this. He couldn't deal with her interest, he simply couldn't. She squeaked and cringed away from him, but didn't even look him in the eye.
"Let me go." The request was made quietly, but without fear. He both admired and resented her for that. She shouldn't be cowering at anything, but it would be nice if she'd be wary of him, damn it.
"No."
"I mean it, Malfoy."
He looked at her, but she refused to raise her eyes to his. "What did you expect I would do?" he forced out. He didn't like to be this blunt and would prefer to ignore everything until it went away, but the problem with Granger was that she'd never go away on her own. He had to force her or she'd be forever haunting him.
"What you did, I suppose." He appreciated that she didn't try to pretend she didn't know what he was talking about.
"Obviously not or you wouldn't have run off like that."
She flinched. "It's just a lot sooner than I expected, ok?" She finally looked at him, but then looked away again before saying, "I had no idea how forgettable I'd feel. How... insignificant. It took me by surprise, made me think."
"That's how it works. You wanted a one-off and that's what you got! Was I supposed to stay celibate until you finished teaching?"
"No need to lecture me, Malfoy. I know I was being absurd and I'll get over it. I simply don't like it when it's thrown in my face exactly how easily discarded I am."
Easily discarded? Now there was a laugh. He still remembered every excruciating detail from ten years ago. If she'd known that, she'd never have thought of herself as 'easily discarded'. "Nobody threw anything in your face," he said. "You went to her pub. Again, what did you expect?"
"But you're hardly ever there! Look, this is pointless. Go back, and I promise to stay in my rooms like a good little girl." Granger attempted to dismiss him and leave, but he used his body to block her. He told himself it was an attempt to intimidate her and not at all because he liked feeling her body pressed against his.
"How am I supposed to go back when I pissed her off by following you out?" he growled. "You completely ruined all my plans for the whole weekend!"
"I didn't even say anything!"
"You didn't have to. You were bloody obvious. Carys easily worked it all out from a single look."
She finally looked him full in the eye, her chin raised in what had to be the most sexy defiance he'd seen in a long time. He really had to watch his reactions to her. "I thought you had that kind of relationship, or was that not true?" she demanded.
"Watch it," he growled. "It's an open relationship, but not that open. She doesn't like other women acting jealous. She's the only one with that right." Actually he'd told Carys early on that he wouldn't stand for jealous displays, but Granger didn't need to know that.
She snorted. "I have issues with men wanting me one second and turning around to someone else the next. I freely admit that, and I wouldn't call it jealousy. What's your problem that made you follow me all the way home and then physically restrain me to tell me off for looking at you?"
"My problem is with soft little brunettes tempting and teasing me everywhere I go and then acting like I made them a promise. I did no such thing!"
"I know you didn't, Malfoy." Granger reached up to touch his cheek and the simple gesture scorched him. He wanted to pull away but endured it. He deserved the discomfort for even for a second thinking that being near her would be without repercussions. She continued, "I don't even want any promises. I can't explain it. It's not about wanting a boyfriend; I'm not at all interested in something permanent. I just wanted to feel wanted. But it didn't work out the way I thought it would. Suddenly, I went from feeling exciting and desirable to feeling... invisible and forgotten. I suppose I need to have a think about what it is I need and how to get it, because frankly, I don't really know myself."
Draco was afraid that he knew exactly what she wanted. She wanted the feeling of the kind of soul-consuming entanglement she didn't remember they'd already had years ago. The kind of affair that in his experience never ended peacefully. The kind of passion that always seemed to find a way to turn itself into pain, bitterness and even hatred.
She wanted something that never ever ended well and more often than not left you scarred for life.
"Trust me, you don't want what you think you want," he said. Understatement.
"Don't tell me what I want."
"Instead, why don't you go out and find yourself a nice man--"
"Ugh!" She shoved at him so forcefully he took a surprised step back. "Who are you to tell me that?"
"Someone who's tried every kind of dysfunctional relationship out there!"
"And yet you don't seem to know how to get a healthy one."
He couldn't keep himself from sneering. He'd forgotten what a vicious little bitch she could be sometimes, going straight for the jugular. He shouldn't have. That was part of what had attracted him to her in the first place. "But I'm sure you do. So why don't you put that knowledge to good use and stay out of trouble for once, yeah?"
"I already said I don't want a boyfriend. I certainly don't want a husband. I have the rest of my life to be bored to death in domestic bliss with an oh-so-good man that all the world approves of."
"Who said it has to be like that?"
Granger smiled at that, but the smile never reached her eyes. It made her look jaded. "I know it does. Every single man that wants to go out with me is projecting that future so clearly that I'm practically blinded. In the end it will be inevitable, since I really don't want to spend the rest of my life alone. I just... the other day I discovered that before I get back on the path everyone expects me to take, I'd like to feel alive for a little while."
Draco gritted his teeth. How could a woman so supposedly clever be so monumentally stupid? "You do realise that the things that make people feel the most alive are usually the ones that could kill them?"
She nodded. "Then so be it." Then she tilted her head slightly as if a thought occurred to her. "If you're determined that you won't kill me, do you perhaps have any handsome friends that would?"
Draco had no confidence that Granger would be the only one to die from it if he succumbed to temptation, but perhaps that was just as well. He'd felt like his time was running out for a while now already. Why not make a spectacle of it?
* * *
The glass was empty. Again. Draco still didn't like drinking, but he really was at a loss to how else he was supposed to cope with what was happening and his own reaction to it, which was disturbingly enough changing from shame, fear and guilt to excitement. Granger was standing in the middle of his office, perusing her surroundings like she'd never been there before.
"What would it take to cure you of your silly notions?" he then asked.
"Hm?" Granger looked up.
He tried for a smile but ended up with something like a sneer. "Who better to be driven mad by you than a proven madman? That's probably what you thought from the beginning when you set your eyes on me, wasn't it?"
Her eyes widened. "I don't think you're a madman..."
"Then you're wrong! I am a madman. I have no idea why you'd even want to sleep with me. Believe me, you could do better."
She shrugged and hugged herself. "I think you're... sexy, I suppose."
He shook his head. "No. You think my problems can be fixed by the right woman. You think I need a mother figure to nurture me and take care of me. And very probably, you like the idea that other women want me. It really hasn't a lot to do with me."
And yet he found he wanted her to find him sexy. He wanted her to fixate on little things and have her mouth go dry and her imagination go into overdrive, the way his mouth parched and his imagination worked right now as she nibbled on her own lower lip and absently smoothed a lock of unruly hair behind her ear.
It was maddening and a very good reason why he should avoid her and drink more.
She took a deep breath. "Let's get a few things straight. I hate it that you have other women at your beck and call, because too many of them are much prettier than I am and we both know it. I'm not at all interested in being your or anyone else's mother, but I do think some of your problems could be helped if only you wanted them to be. And I really, really mean it when I say I don't want to try to make a boyfriend out of you. Even if I were in the market, I don't think I could ever be in a relationship with someone like you. You're spiteful and mean-spirited and like to hurt people, which are all traits I can't tolerate in a partner. No, what I do like is your physique. And I like the way you sometimes look at me, even when your mouth is saying hateful things. I also enjoyed the way you touched me more than anything I've experienced in years, which is probably quite sad, considering how you treated me afterwards."
He fought down a flinch at the strong dose of honesty. He'd worked hard to give her a poor impression of him, but he didn't particularly like that it had worked. At least she did appear to be physically attracted to him. "I suppose that's a good starting point," he muttered, less happy than he would have been if she'd left out all the negative points.
"I would like you to treat me better, by the way. I can't tell if you hauled me in here because you mean to sleep with me again, but if you do, at least pretend to respect me."
He hesitated and stared into his glass for a moment before he said, "All right." With those words, he knew he'd succumbed. He would take her to bed again. Tonight. He'd been foolish to think he could turn her away. He wanted her, wanted his own destruction, too much. "Just remember that any entanglement with me will be going nowhere."
She smiled sardonically. "How could I forget?"
"Easily. You don't know how to have sex without a relationship so you'll probably begin to fall for me. Nip it in the bud. We don't want things to get messy."
"Not that you think highly of yourself or anything."
He snorted and refilled his glass. If he'd thought highly of himself, he wouldn't have warned her.
"I'm not as inexperienced as you think."
"You've had one other partner, that doesn't count as vast experience."
"Wrong."
That surprised him as he'd never even once imagined that she might've been with anyone but Weasley. The very idea seemed impossible, not to mention unpalatable. "Oh?"
She sniffed and began fondling some of his textbooks that were lucky enough to be positioned on a shelf near her. "Not that it's any of your business, but I have put myself out there after Ron and I broke up."
"So, two?"
"It's really none of your business, but... three." She blushed and ducked her head at the admission. She was indeed the worldliest woman he'd ever met.
"And that's not enough for you to feel alive and desirable and whatnot?"
She shrugged. "The first one after Ron was my attempt to physically get over Ron with a one-night-stand. It wasn't what I expected at all. I didn't feel like he wanted me. I felt like he... he used me, if that makes any sense in this context. It was like he didn't even see me, I was merely a vessel for him to rub off in. It was very disappointing. The second one was me thinking that maybe I wanted more of an emotional connection. So I went out a few times with a nice man who'd shown some interest in me, and then eventually ended up in the bedroom with him. He seemed to really like me, but... while I liked him too, I felt like we were completely disconnected in bed. It was just as well, since he got very nasty when I ended it."
"And then I fucked you on a table so hard you bled and that is what you want?"
"You make it sound so romantic." She fluttered her eyelashes.
His answering grin couldn't be helped. "Yeah... romance is not part of this deal."
"Good," she said, looking for all the world like she meant it. "But are we going to have sex tonight?"
The candid question nearly made Draco choke on his drink and he had to finish a round of very unsexy coughing before he could finally croak, "You can't simply ask a question like that!"
"I thought that was what we were discussing? Besides, I only wanted to know if you meant to do anything about it tonight, because then I'd suggest you stop drinking while you were still able."
That was enough of a provocation to make Draco drain his glass before he pronounced, "I am always able!"
A man did have his pride, even if it wasn't necessarily backed by the truth.
* * *
Before long, Draco decided that Granger was far too confident, entering a madman's private rooms. How could she be so... casual about all this? She shouldn't know how to be so at ease with opening the door to his bedroom and going in uninvited. She shouldn't even be there. Stupid woman. Stupid, fearless, sexy woman.
"I read Trials and Tribulations at Hogwarts," Granger said out of the blue. "Thank you for the recommendation. I found it very enlightening."
Draco stiffened. There was no reason why she'd forget that book. Either she'd simply read too many books to remember them all, or it must have been tied to her memories in some way, in which case he didn't want to dwell on it. "I don't remember recommending it."
"You assumed I'd read it. That was enough."
"For the record, I assume you've read just about every book in the universe. But I'm not really here to talk about books..." He gave her a thorough once-over, trying to gather all his scattered thoughts and feelings and focus them into one single purpose: Want. It wasn't actually that difficult. His mind was very willing to give up images of her naked, writhing, gasping, moaning...
Her eyes widened and she began nervously fiddling with her hair. Good. He slowly moved closer to her, his head filling with memories of her scent, her sounds, the feel of her beneath him, around him... She was so passionate and she could use that as a weapon, but it was perhaps better that she didn't realise that until he was out of her range. For now, he'd simply stoke the flames and enjoy the sting. He carefully cupped her cheek and brushed his lips over hers. It was clear from her hesitant reaction that she wasn't yet sure what she was expected to do. Oh, how tainted she must be.
"Where's your wand?" he whispered against her mouth.
She gave him a blank look and then blinked as if to clear her head. "In my, um, pocket?"
He dropped his hand and turned his back on her. "Always keep it within reach. Under the pillow, maybe."
"Why would I need to?"
"Because I could lose control and it's always dangerous when a madman loses control."
"How... comforting."
"You're free to back out any time." He didn't mean that, but that would be for her to discover if she tried.
"So are you."
He couldn't help the sardonic smile. He'd never been free. "Then get on the bed."
She did as told, making a point out of placing her wand under his pillow. If she was obedient, then that was definitely new. Back when they'd been involved, she'd always been either skittish or teasing, but never obedient.
He sidled up next to her and bent over to press his lips against hers, very careful to only touch her with his lips and tongue for now. Of course she had different ideas, running her hands up his chest and around his neck, bringing him closer. No, she definitely wouldn't be obedient. She would take what she wanted, and she wouldn't know the consequences. But then, he knew the consequences and right now he simply didn't care as her heady kisses were deepening, robbing him of the last of his senses.
He somehow managed to draw back, and fluffed up a pillow and leant against it, semi-reclined. Granger didn't waste any time in sliding on top of him and then glide her hands down to his belt. The witch went straight for the gold. Damn her. There were few things he found more seductive than the simple act of a witch opening his belt, as that always held such promise. Plus, getting undressed by a desirable witch whilst she stared at his groin was definitely cause for excitement. Granger noticed his physical reaction and shot him a crooked smile before she began swiftly unbuttoning his trousers. Only when she was excruciatingly carefully moving her hand inside his fly, did he stop her.
"Patience," he said. "You need to do a better job of undressing us first."
She raised an eyebrow and then ran her hand down her own neck, down to caress her neckline that, unfortunately for his blood pressure, was showing a bit of cleavage today. "Us?" she then asked. "Aren't you going to do anything, then?"
He slowly shook his head, even as his eyes seemed glued to her chest. "You're so experienced--you show me how it's done."
She slid her hands down the front of her body to the hem of her blouse, but just as he thought she was going to pull it up and over her head, she seemed to change her mind and put her hands back on his chest instead. He hissed with frustration. He wanted her naked skin, damn it.
"Hey, if I decide what to take off first, it's going to be the bits that are fun for me," she said with a laugh.
"Then do it," he said, taking her wrists and moving her hands to the top button of his shirt. He noticed with some satisfaction that her pulse jumped, even if she didn't let on that she was affected.
She slowly, very slowly, obeyed. For each button she leant a little forward, and every time he could feel the slight shifting of her weight on his lap, the tightening of the muscles in her thighs, and the soft caress of her breast brushing his arm. It was all driving him insane. He wanted her to ride him. He wanted to be hot, sweaty and naked. He wanted to be embraced by oblivion and lose himself in her.
Finally he snapped and sat up straight, tilting her so she had to support herself on one hand behind herself. She looked so damn inviting like that, even wearing a slight pout, that he didn't dare look at her for too long lest he simply fall on her like last time. He seemed to have next to zero restraint when it came to her. Instead he grabbed the back of his shirt and pulled it over his head. There, now at least she couldn't torment him with that any longer.
"You know, Malfoy," she teased as he threw his shirt aside. "You're awfully impatient for someone so experienced."
He was, and there was no real excuse for it. "I simply bore easily," he said, leaning back, running his hands up her thighs. She was unfortunately wearing trousers, but that could easily be remedied.
"You don't seem bored," she said and casually cupped his groin.
He sucked in a breath. Maybe he'd given Granger too little credit. She certainly knew how to tease. "Take off your clothes."
She pursed her lips, mock-pondering as she merely stroked him through the fabric of his trousers.
"Now," he demanded in a hoarse voice. "Do it now, or I'll..."
"You'll what?"
He wasn't going to let her call his bluff. "Fuck you hard, just the way you like it, but deny you your orgasm for hours."
He saw her pupils dilate and felt her breath speed up a bit. She liked that thought, did she? "Hours? Now you're bragging."
"Try me. You think I'm wanted for my delightful personality?" He shot her a dark smile.
"I'm still not convinced it would be a punishment..."
"I'll make you beg for it. You will be so frustrated that you won't know what to do with yourself. I may even allow myself to come once or twice so you feel the full impact of it. I could make you weep with want." Weeping wasn't exactly what he had in mind for her, though, but she seemed to find the idea titillating.
"And what will I get if I do what you want me to?"
"All the orgasms you want."
She leant forwards until her lips were brushing the shell of his ear before she purred, "That's quite a promise."
He knew. Far too well. "Take off your clothes."
"Mmm, no." Her eyes were laughing at him again.
He did the only thing he could do under the circumstances--he toppled her and swiftly relieved her of most of her clothes before she could object. Experience did have its perks, although she had to help kick her trousers away.
She was still amused and in the mood to tease, so she snuck her hand inside his trousers and underwear and once again began on those maddening strokes that had driven him out of his mind last time. She pressed her lips to his ear again and whispered, "Want me to suck you?"
His whole body gave a jerk. He would love to feel those soft lips wrapped around his cock, but unfortunately he had different plans. "No, not right now." He closed his eyes on a shiver. "But keep this up and you'll have come on your belly soon... Or maybe your breasts..." He had to swallow at that thought. He'd love to finish on her breasts. He'd caught himself imagining it more than once since last time.
"Maybe I want you to..." she muttered and nibbled on his neck.
It felt so good that he almost forgot himself, but then a more sentient part of him seemed to realise what was going on and he snapped out of it. He grabbed her wrist to still her hand. "I'm supposed to do the teasing for once, witch."
"I'm not teasing. I need you to lose control." She kissed him and caught his lower lip between her teeth for a light nibble before she let go. "Please..."
She had no idea how close she was to being granted her wish. Or maybe she did. He didn't like that thought. He needed the control more than she did.
"I'm not ready to do that," he lied, before pushing down his trousers and underwear and settling down on top of the still underwear-clad Granger. "Now stop talking," he muttered and kissed her, deeply, to shut her up and distract her.
She complied and he reined back his own need so he could do what he did best--focus and pay attention to detail. Her lips had just the right amount of fullness. They were made to be kissed and, if he recalled correctly, were quite talented in other areas as well. As he moved his lips down her neck, he needlessly confirmed that it was the home of at least one very sensitive area that made her wild if he as much as breathed on it. There also appeared to be one lesser known spot behind the opposite ear that made her gasp. He skipped lightly past her collarbone and down past her still covered breasts. He knew that if he began exploring her breasts, he'd never move on. However, when he moved down her belly, she stiffened and grabbed his shoulders, and he felt compelled to return to her mouth to give her a reassuring kiss.
"Don't worry," he muttered. "I'm not doing anything you don't want me to. Just a bit of exploration, yeah?"
Her eyes were dubious, but she seemed to accept this--cautiously--and he returned to what he'd been doing. On the left side of her navel, there were three almost invisible vertical stripes. Without thinking, he placed a fingertip on each and followed them down. They weren't scratch marks, though. They were stretch marks. Slightly peculiar in her case, but not uncommon. He shot her a quick glance, but she didn't particularly appear to have noticed what he'd been doing. Good. Women didn't like it when these little things were noticed, least of all during sex. He continued down, soothing her by placing a hand on her pubic bone as if to shield her better than the damp cloth of her knickers could, as he continued down her thigh, pulling up her leg, so his tongue could dart behind her knee. Her gasp told him that not only was it unexpected for her, but it was also highly appreciated. He smirked and continued on.
By the time he was done exploring her legs and feet, he had found several sensitive spots that teenage him would never even have dreamed of looking for. He'd save the back of her for later, since he was already half-crazed from her scent and the way she squirmed and whimpered under him. He refused to become a mindless savage like last time and even managed to swiftly relieve them of their last scraps of clothing without tearing any of it.
She arched against him and whimpered, "Malfoy, please."
He knew she needed to come. He should let her. The problem was that he wasn't certain that he would be able to keep himself from joining her if he were to watch her orgasm right now. She needed more. He needed more.
"No," he muttered against the base of her neck. "You've been a bad girl. Bad girls have to suffer with the bad boys."
"At least be inside me," she whispered in reply, turning her head so her breath caressed his face.
He tried in vain to swallow his groan. He was grappling hard with his control, unable to ignore the soft, moist warmth cradling his length, promising bliss. "Yes. God, yes."
Much like last time, she thrust her pelvis against him and for a moment his mind blanked. It was so bloody good. Before he could reveal himself to be the incompetent lover that he always felt like around her, he drew back just enough to angle his hips and slowly push into her. But of course, she wasn't having any of that, and before he knew it, she'd thrust against him again, and he was completely buried inside her.
"Easy," he groaned. "Need to... take it easy."
She moved against him and he had to focus everything he had to not blindly pound into her until he found release. The idea of this lasting hours really was laughable now. "Please come," she whispered and the jolt that went through him almost made him spill.
"Ladies first," he muttered, steadying her hip and forcing his own hips into a rhythm he found frustratingly slow at this point.
"No!" She squirmed against him and rocked her hips, very deliberately trying to make him lose control. It was working. His thoughts were becoming incoherent and filled with nothing but her and how much he wanted to come in her, on her, with her, for her...
With what was left of his willpower, he steadied her one last time and tried to summon some reason from what was left of his brains. "Usually I could go a few times, but I'm tired and more than a little bit drunk and I'd really prefer it if you came first, just in case."
"You don't understand," she muttered, taking him by surprise and rolling them both over so she was on top. "That's not what I need. I need you to look into my eyes, tell me how amazing it feels, and come." Then she began moving.
His eyes rolled up in his head and he wasn't able to think any longer. He wasn't able to resist. "Unfair, Hermione. You know I need you. More than any... ah, Merlin. Please don't stop. Just... please don't. K-keep this rhythm, please. Yes. Oh, God, I'm... I'm... fuck!" He grabbed Hermione's hips and pushed her down as he thrust up into her, coming harder than he could remember even doing last time. He had to bite his own tongue till it bled to keep from saying things he would regret while riding high on this feeling of complete ecstasy. It wasn't a problem he usually had, but he reasoned that it must be her giving nature that made him want to validate her and tell her how he'd always wanted her. It would be a bad idea, though. A really bad idea.
When he'd finally got his breath and his brains back, he said, "I can't believe you made me do that."
She smirked down at him, still poised above him with him inside her. "Took you long enough, actually."
He shook his head at her. "Let me lick you."
"We just had sex!" She wrinkled her nose, back to being the prissy little thing.
He shrugged, not overly bothered by anything right now. "We can clean you up first."
She shook her head.
"I know you said you don't care if you come, but you're positively vibrating. I'd love to watch you orgasm." He squeezed her hips where he was still holding her.
She slowly grabbed one of his hands and slid it down between her legs where they were connected. "Then make me. With you still inside me."
He had no trouble at all finding her sensitive and swollen nub between her slick folds, and as soon as she felt the merest brush of his fingers, she whimpered and he felt her tightening around his sensitive cock. He groaned. She felt so delicious and he really needed to taste her one of these days, but since she didn't seem to want it to happen today... He began rubbing her in earnest and she squirmed on top of him, making him swallow a moan when he felt himself already hardening again. But it was a promise he wouldn't be able to follow through on for a while yet, so he merely hoped she enjoyed grinding against him and pulled her down for a kiss as his fingers danced over her clit again and again and again and...
He hadn't been exaggerating when he'd said that she was vibrating. And with every caress, she jerked and jumped and whimpered and drove him absolutely mad. Finally, her whimpers became deeper and more persistent, until she made a sound that sounded almost like a sob and he felt the ripple around his cock.
Is it possible to go off again this soon?
He wished it were. He'd love to come inside her as she looked and felt so completely lost to pleasure. Her grinding had stopped for the most part, although she still softly moved her hips, like she didn't even know what she was doing. It felt amazing. Unfortunately, now that she was spent, she looked exhausted, and he would probably need to keep her up for at least another hour if they were to have a thoroughly satisfying round two. So he did his best to squash his urges. For now.
He would have her again, and next time he wouldn't let her off this easily.
Next Chapter
Chapter 6 Part 1
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