The Virgin Conundrum 1/10
Title: The Virgin Conundrum
Disclaimer: JKR owns anything that is obviously hers. I own the rest. I do not make any money off this.
Characters: Draco Malfoy, Ginny Weasley, Hermione Granger, Theodore Nott, Others
Genres: Angst, Drama, Humour, Romance
Story Warnings: Epilogue? What Epilogue?, Profanity, Smut
Overall Rating: NC-17
Summary: Hermione needs to get rid of her pesky virginity for her very own reasons. The solution to that is, of course, to make a list of the boys at Hogwarts to find out which one will suit her purpose best! Draco Malfoy is at first left off her list, but when he finds out and teases her about it, she realises that maybe he has a point--after all, who would be better to take her virginity than the most gossiped about skirt chaser at Hogwarts? He's not quite as willing as she thought he'd be, though. Written to fit a prompt.
Extra Note: Thank you to mazvn and cklls for the beta and dollfaced for the banner. :)
Chapter Length: 5,651
* * *
It is an infantile superstition of the human spirit that virginity would be thought a virtue and not the barrier that separates ignorance from knowledge. - Voltaire
Hermione stared at the letter before her, her face feeling like it was made of stone. She had a feeling she should be upset, but she wasn't. Not really. Rather, she felt absolutely nothing. Her insides had gone numb.
This couldn't be true. It couldn't be happening. It must be some big, awful joke. Sometimes Ron had a rather horrible sense of humour. Yes, that must be it. It had only been a few months since they broke up, after all. And she'd even seen him during the Christmas holidays, only a couple of weeks ago.
Granted, he'd been avoiding looking her in the eyes, done everything he could not to be alone with her, and had only made monosyllabic replies whenever she spoke to him. But she'd only thought that he was still upset that she'd chosen to go back to school for her final year. She'd chosen not to confront him, thinking that the year was almost half done and there would be time enough to make up afterwards.
Time...
She felt tears rushing into her eyes, which was odd considering the numbness. How could he already have done this? It had only been a few months. They had been so devoted to each other. It was true that he hadn't wanted her to be apart from him for a whole year and that he'd finally presented her with an ultimatum that had resulted in their breakup, but she had considered that a temporary state. One she would soon remedy!
Now... well, she supposed it could still be remedied. The letter was from Ron, after all, and he said that he wanted to be honest with her and start afresh. He called himself all kinds of names and pleaded for her to understand, to forgive him, and for her to take him back. He said that if only she could forgive him for this one mistake, he would try his best never to make another, and he certainly would never repeat this one.
But he had already made this particular mistake, and it was simply too big for her to wrap her head around.
What had made him do such a thing? What had made her devoted, caring boyfriend-on-hiatus decide that she wasn't worth waiting for and sleep with someone else?
Hermione's hands began shaking and she unconsciously crumbled the edges of the letter as she tightened her fists to keep them steady.
He'd had his first time with someone else. Because she'd wanted to finish her education and he'd been unable to understand why going back to school was more important to her than marrying him right away.
It had only been a few months. She'd thought it was temporary.
Gathering her last strength, she stood and stiffly walked out of the Great Hall, aiming for her dormitory. She really needed a good cry right about now.
* * *
Tracing a vein in the table that a hundred Hogwarts students had traced before her with her quill, Hermione wondered if maybe she should get over this and do her homework. That was why she was seated in a quiet corner of the library, wasn't it? So she could study.
It was the whole reason for this mess. Her want to excel academically. If she didn't study, it would all have been for nothing. It had already been more than a week. Ron had owled her three more times. She'd sent the owls right back without accepting the letters. She couldn't stomach reading anything more he had to say right now. Later she would have a talk with him but not... not yet. It hurt too much.
Maybe she shouldn't have left. If she'd stayed with him, none of this would've ever happened.
Sneering at the wall as she realised what she was doing, she threw down her pen. What was she thinking? This wasn't her fault! He had made the decision to turn his back on their relationship and be with someone else, not her! If their love wasn't able to survive even a few months apart, then obviously it wasn't meant to be!
It wasn't meant to be.
Even now, she didn't actually believe that. She still loved him. She merely didn't want to face him yet. He'd tainted everything between them and she didn’t know how to make that taint go away. Not when he'd given his first time to someone else.
If only there was some way outside of actually talking to him to learn what had made him do such a thing. The letter had had an explanation of sorts, with mentions of loneliness, alcohol, and a witch who'd been flirting with him for a long time, making him feel wanted, but... it still didn't explain why to her.
What was so great about sex that someone would throw love to the wind for it? She didn't get it.
She understood the concept of sex, of course. She was nineteen years old and did have a libido. She knew her own body and she knew exactly how good it felt to touch it in certain ways. She'd also had a boyfriend long enough to know how nice kisses and exploratory touches could feel.
Yet even knowing this, she still didn't understand the pull that could make someone throw everything away for... what? An orgasm? She really didn't get it.
In the past week she'd been hypersensitive to anything sexual going on around her. Among the other students, she now saw lingering kisses, touches bordering on indecent, long knowing looks, slightly blushing cheeks, secret smiles and dishevelled clothes.
It seemed like far more people than she'd thought were sexually active and were greatly enjoying it.
She'd meant to do it with Ron eventually, but they hadn't actually been together that long before the school year began, and there'd been all the post-war damages and grief to deal with. They'd agreed that they would take their time since they had all the time in the world to get comfortable with each other in this new way.
All the time in the world. Except he couldn't keep it in his pants for a few months!
She glared at her books for several seconds, but then realised how irrationally she was behaving and deflated.
Ron wasn't perfect, no, but who was? He'd been honest with her once he'd realised what he'd done. That alone made him better than so many others. A bigger person would forgive him and move on.
If only it hadn't been his first time. For some reason she thought she could have forgiven him more easily if it hadn't been his first time.
What was so special about sex?
Maybe she should find out.
The thought gave her pause, but then she felt a devil coming up in her. Why shouldn't she find out? Ron had tainted everything between them and she couldn't even think about having sex with him without bile rising in her throat. Whether they would ever work things out was uncertain, but for now... she needed to know what this great allure was.
At least in theory. But planning mischief felt soothing in and of itself, so she went with it.
First, she would need someone to do it with. Nobody sprang to mind, really. She couldn't recall a single boy flirting with her all year. Everyone knew she was with Ron and she certainly hadn't been looking for anything else.
Nothing to it, then. She needed to make a list! Squinting and feeling determined about something for the first time in days, she neatly wrote, "Alderton, Ewan," at the top of her parchment.
* * *
Draco quietly made his way into the library and made a face when he realised that he wasn't the only one who'd chosen to use this Saturday for studying. Someone was at every table he could see, and he really wasn't in a mood to be sociable. He rarely was these days. At least not in a way that was acceptable during library hours.
He slowly began moving towards the back, scouting for a table, but there seemed to be at least one inhabitant for each one. There was plenty of room for him to join someone, but... he didn't want to. He only wanted to do his homework in peace and then go back to his dormitory. He wasn't inclined to share a table with someone who'd heard about his misadventures and would distract him with their staring or rude and invasive questions.
Apparently his proximity with You-Know-Who was extremely fascinating. Funny how he was anything but fascinated himself. He'd been living in Hell, doing his very best to simply survive, and he'd really much rather forget about it. Unfortunately, his very best had made him a criminal and his case was still, for the most part, pending.
They would evaluate his academic achievements as well as his general behaviour and attitude once this year was over, and he hoped good behaviour, good marks, and a generous donation from his father would be what made him free again.
One thing was certain-he would never ever throw in his lot with a Dark Wizard again. Ever. He merely wanted to be left alone. And possibly be allowed to sarcastically comment on something without someone somewhere making a note and telling it to the Ministry who'd then send him an owl, threatening him with Azkaban if he didn't conform. Ok, so maybe that didn't happen every time, but it had happened once and since then he'd had to bite his tongue on more than one occasion. It wasn't worth it. But he was leaving this bloody country as soon as it didn't mean they'd send a whole group of Hit Wizards after him.
He'd reached the end of the library and stopped, scowling at the girl at the table furthest in the back. Why did she have to take up a whole table every single day? She was Head Girl this year and the only Gryffindor girl to redo seventh year, so she didn't even have to share her dormitory!
At least that was the reason they gave. Heads didn't normally have private quarters, though, and Draco and the other Slytherin boys redoing their year had merely been stuck in the regular seventh year dormitory, so he figured that this was the Headmistress kissing the arse of a known War Hero and getting good publicity for it. Something that this school sorely needed these days, after everything that had been going on here.
He detested preferential treatment when it wasn't for his benefit.
Something was off with her today, though. He narrowed his eyes, trying to figure out what. It didn't take long before he realised what it was. She wasn't even studying! She was merely sitting there, staring at some parchment in front of her, neither reading nor making notes-hell, she didn't even look like she was thinking!
And for that she was occupying a table? He couldn't help the sneer that was forming on his face. He couldn't stand her. He hated the way she always dominated every class, the way everyone was constantly sucking up to her, and the way she always looked right through him, as if he weren't even there or were simply beneath her notice.
Uppity bitch!
He bared his teeth in a vicious grimace. Suddenly Azkaban didn't seem like such a great risk.
* * *
What was she doing? Hermione stared at the parchments neatly outlining all the appropriate boys. This was such a silly pastime. She should spend her time and energy on solving real problems, rather than fantasising about doing something so reckless and immature.
"Are you going to study or not?" a flat voice asked behind her.
She blinked, ripped from her daze and turned her head to see Draco Malfoy glowering at her. "None of your business."
"You're taking up space."
"So are you, but I at least have the decency to not complain about the waste to your face."
He made a grimace. "Hilarious, Granger. Now take your things and move so the rest of us can get some studying done."
"Sod off, Malfoy. There's plenty of available room!"
"I can't share a table with any of you losers."
"Believe me, I wasn't inviting you to." She reached for a new piece of parchment, feeling an odd urge to rearrange her list for the third time. "I guess you'll have to come back later."
"What's this?" he asked, and before she had a chance to stop him, he'd moved forward and snatched her notes.
"Hey, give it back!" She made a grasp for them but he easily dodged her. Damn, why had she chosen today of all days to not bring her wand?
"And what class is this for, then?" he asked, skimming over the names. "Bradley, Mike. Pros: Fit and toned. Seems to have stamina. Cons: Spots. Halitosis." He raised an eyebrow at her.
Hermione's cheeks were flaming and she leapt to her feet and lunged for her notes, but he simply jumped to the side, moved the chair between them, and kept on reading.
"Merlin, you even have Goyle on here!" he continued. "Pros: Tall. Not too bright. Cons: Disgusting pig." He laughed. "Like them dumb, do you, Granger? I always figured that, what with you seeing Weasley and all."
"Give it back, Malfoy," Hermione hissed, lunging at him again, and this time she got hold of his arm, but he merely moved the parchments to his other hand and held them outside of her reach.
"Not so fast, Granger. I want to see what it says about me."
"No, you don't!" she growled and grasped for it."Give it back!"
"Calm down," he said, hardly suppressing his glee. "I need to know if you think I have halitosis, don't I?"
"That would be the least of your problems!"
"MacFarlan... Mallory..." His grin faded and he frowned, his eyes darting over the page. "Hey, you forgot about me! Every other seventh and eighth year wizard is on here but me!"
No, she hadn't forgotten about him. She'd simply decided that putting his name down was a waste of ink. "What can I say? You're not as memorable as you think you are," she hissed.
He scoffed at her. "Mallory... isn't he only fifth year? Going for the young ones, are we, Granger?"
James Mallory was indeed only fifth year, but she'd seen him come in and reach for a book and... well, she'd liked what she'd seen. He definitely looked older than his sixteen years and when she'd asked him his name, age and relationship status, he'd flashed her the most charming grin that had led her to believe that he didn't mind her interest at all.
She finally managed to get her notes back as Malfoy seemed to have lost interest in them. "Not that it's any of your business, Malfoy, but it's not that big an age difference. If he'd been the older one, nobody would bat an eyelid." She rolled up the parchments and put them in her bag.
"Tire of Weasley, then, eh?" he asked with a little snort. "Or maybe he simply has a really tiny willy? Or maybe-"
"-maybe you should shut the hell up, Malfoy!" she cut him off. "And don't you dare mention this to anyone!"
That seemed to be what he'd been waiting for. "I'll keep your dirty little secret if you leave the table."
"I'm going!" She shoved her book and quill into her bag as well and turned to leave.
"Oh, and Granger?"
"What?" she snapped.
He took the time to sit down before he replied, "You might want to examine the reason why you're afraid of putting my name on that list."
* * *
Afraid. Afraid. Afraid!
Hermione prided herself of being afraid of very little and always facing her fear, so the very notion that she should be afraid of something as silly as putting Draco Malfoy's name on a stupid list was laughable.
Still, sitting at her desk, she felt very uncomfortable looking at his name on her piece of paper.
It was just odd, that was all. This boy was such an awful human being. He might not be capable of murder, but he'd certainly been capable of causing a lot of suffering that could easily have been avoided. How could she possibly look past that?
Pros: A boy. Cons: Draco Malfoy.
Somehow she felt she should be able to give better reasons, but this pretty much summed up how she felt about him at the moment.
* * *
"There's my favourite boy," Pansy said, walking up behind Draco where he was sat, eating, in the Great Hall and kissing him on the cheek.
He didn't stop eating on that account. Besides, he was hardly her favourite boy any longer.
"Where else would I be, Pans?" he asked. "It's meal time. I eat. Amazingly enough, it happens every day."
"Ooh, someone's cranky." She sat down next to him. "Let me guess. Smethley is getting on your nerves."
"Why is everything girls with you?"
"It's not. But she's annoying, you knew she was annoying, I told you she was annoying, and now you're looking mightily annoyed."
He scowled at her. "She'd be all right if she'd only shut up and take off her shirt."
"Oh, that's lovely. Tell your ex that you don't care about anything but boobs. I can't imagine why I put up with you for so long."
"Don't feel bad. It's my natural charm. Besides, I can think of a few more female assets I admire and enjoy interacting with. None of them necessitate talking."
She snorted. "You're disgusting."
"But you love me, really." And oh, how he wished she didn’t sometimes.
"Unfortunately. So what'll you do about Smethley?"
He shrugged. "She'll do for now. At least until I find something better."
Pansy stared at him.
"Oh, come on, Pansy," he felt compelled to stop eating and say after a few seconds. "You know she's about as fond of me as I am of her. She merely enjoys playing with fire."
"Yes, well," she said, concentrating on her plate of food. "Disregarding the fact that you just referred to witches as things, I'm well aware of what kind of relationship you're having."
"It's not a relationship."
"Shut up. Whenever two people interact, there's a relationship."
"Now you're being pernickety."
"You started it!" she exclaimed loud enough to attract some attention. Sighing, she closed her eyes and touched her forehead like talking to him was a great chore. "Look, I know you think these girls are stupid for wanting to be with someone who lived with the Dark Lord for months, but do you really need to act like this?"
"What do you care about Smethley?"
"I don't. I care about you. You didn't use to be like this. You've always been an arse, but at least you weren't completely unfeeling."
"Ah, right. And that's why we're still together."
She gave him an odd look. "I dumped you because you were immature and uncommitted, Draco. Not because you were cold."
"I thought you dumped me because Theo snogged the living daylights out of you and then some and you liked it."
"Well, that too."
He snorted. "Either way, it's about the same result, isn't it?"
"So, what? This is a way of punishing me?"
He resumed eating. "Not everything is about you, Pansy. I've just decided what I want and that's what I'm going for. That's all I'm going for."
"So, you've decided to remain more immature than ever, then?"
"If that's how you want to look at it."
She rolled her eyes at him and got back up and left. He scowled after her. Who was she to judge him? She already had another bloke to nag, so why was she spending her time nagging him as well?
She really wasn't making a convincing case for the appeal of 'maturity'.
* * *
He was actually quite popular!
The revelation hit Hermione one day and left her slightly disoriented. She'd spent the past few days scowling at Draco Malfoy every chance she got and had noticed a whole host of new things about him.
For starters, he didn't seem to be seeing Pansy Parkinson any longer, but they were still friendly. Hermione had always loathed Pansy, and seeing how she cooed over her ex-boyfriend didn't help the disdain any. Hermione had to seriously doubt the sanity of anyone who'd go out with Malfoy and dote on him like that afterwards.
And then there were the other witches. Hermione wouldn't have believed it if she hadn't seen it for herself, but apparently some girls found his surly, pasty self appealing. She didn't understand it. Not at all. Mallory from fifth year was definitely much more attractive and much nicer. He'd actually talked to her a few times since their library meeting and was definitely at the top of her list. Malfoy, on the other hand... He didn't even seem to treat those witches any better than he treated anyone else, but they still seemed to want to be around him. Why?
Unfortunately, that wasn't the easiest question to answer without giving the wrong impression, so she went for quite a while without solving the mystery.
Then she discovered bathroom gossip.
She wasn't entirely unaware of the phenomenon, of course, considering how she had had to use the bathroom before, but she had simply never realised what a valuable source of information it could be.
It didn't take her long to feel nauseated.
Apparently, Andrew Kirke had been caught cheating on his girlfriend, Ewan Alderton was more interested in boys than girls, and-this was the hard part to stomach-Draco Malfoy was considered someone you should at least have a go at if you were of the adventurous sort.
That was certainly one kind of adventure Hermione could easily live without.
When a girl expressed the same kind of scepticism that Hermione was feeling, the others simply laughed it off and said that he wasn't for everyone, but he was supposedly good.
Good? Good at what, exactly?
She had a feeling she didn't really want the answer to that. Eavesdropping was stupid, anyway.
Yet that night she changed Malfoy's 'pro' to 'supposedly good.'
* * *
"Are you listening to me at all, Draco?"
"No. I do wish you'd shut up."
Cat Smethley began indignantly sputtering, and Draco smothered a yawn and glanced at the clock. How long was this going to take?
She finally gave up on the outrage and crossed her arms over her chest. "Sometimes I think you're rude just to be rude."
"No, Cat," he said, moving to sit down on the empty office's sofa. If he was going to have a fight, he might as well be comfortable whilst doing it. "I simply see no reason to lie to you. I don't really care about your day, your shoes, or who you're currently having a petty squabble with. Either start snogging me or leave."
She gaped at him and then clenched her fists and stomped off.
He supposed that meant their 'relationship' was over. It was about time anyway. She'd begun to think that he cared about what she had to say. He didn't. She didn't have anything to say that in any way interested him. None of them did. The only girl he'd ever remotely enjoyed talking to was Pansy, and she'd long since found someone else, so...
But at least she'd done him one 'favour' before she left him. She'd told everyone at length how great he was in bed-in spite of never allowing him to get that far. He supposed it had been due to her guilty conscience from leading him on for years, only to leave him for someone else. Somehow those rumours had run rampant and he was now credited with numerous conquests.
Apparently that in itself was an aphrodisiac to most girls. They were so illogical.
He got to his feet, deciding he might as well go to bed since he wasn't going to have any fun tonight.
He'd made it down a few stairs before he saw the Head Girl coming at him. He silently swore, calculating his chances of slipping down a side-corridor or into an empty room before she saw him out of his dormitory after curfew.
Granger looked up and oddly brightened. "Malfoy! Just the person I wanted to see!"
He stopped, eyeing her warily. "You wanted to see me? Looking for someone to give a detention, then?"
She shook her head and handed him a roll of parchment. "I added your name."
He suppressed a snort. He'd known his remark would drive her bonkers, which was why he'd made it. She was so easy sometimes.
He accepted the parchment and read aloud, "Malfoy, Draco. Pros: Supposedly good. Cons: ..." He stopped and rolled out the parchment to its full one-foot length and stared at the massive block of writing before scowling at her. "Cute."
She shook her head. "No, I'm fairly sure it doesn't say that anywhere."
He rolled the parchment back up and smirked. "Wow, Granger. You must really be struggling with this attraction."
She stared at him for a few moments before she blinked and said, "Excuse me?"
"The very fact that you need to justify one simple 'pro' with so many 'cons'..." He shook his head. "I suppose you can't help it."
She narrowed her eyes at him. She really was easy. "I simply didn't know where to start," she bit out.
"Considering the simplicity of the rest of your list, it seems like you put a lot of thought into this. Far more than you had to."
Her cheeks pinkened. And here he'd thought he wouldn't have any fun tonight. "You'd be the same," she muttered.
"The same?"
"Yeah." She raised her chin. "If you had to put me on a list."
He shrugged and took a step forward. "Pro..." He looked her over from top to bottom. "Nice enough body. Cons would be your annoying know-it-all personality and constant yammering."
Her eyes widened slightly. "Don't forget my blood status."
"I have a feeling that whatever that list of yours is for, it's nothing permanent enough for blood status to matter."
"Really." She tilted her head, giving him a long, thoughtful look that made him wish he'd simply called her a Mudblood.
"You're looking for sex, aren't you?" he asked, trying to avoid the look. "Why?"
"I find it intriguing that you'd chance sex with someone not pure-blood."
"I wasn't offering."
"Neither was I,” she was quick to say. “I was referring to your earlier comment."
He shrugged carelessly. "As long as one is careful and doesn't leave offspring, there's nothing wrong with indulging in a bit of dirty behaviour."
"Charming."
His lips quirked at her dry tone. "Yes, I know."
"I'm feeling seduced right now."
"You wish that were the case."
She snorted. "Hardly."
He leant forward. "Deny it all you want, Granger,” he said in a low, silky tone of voice. “I've seen your list. I was the only one who stood out."
Smirking to himself, he turned away and sauntered down to the dungeons. Teasing the Head Girl was more fun than he'd ever thought it would be. She flustered so easily and couldn't seem to stop herself from being baited by him.
He was almost looking forward to how she would next 'prove' that she wasn't attracted to him. He was quite certain that she wouldn't let him get away with claiming that she was.
* * *
I was the only one who stood out.
Hermione stood, staring at the parchment on her desk with her eyes narrowed and her arms crossed over her chest.
He was wrong. Plenty of people stood out. Mallory from fifth year, for instance, had quite the positive list. Definitely no halitosis there. And, oh, Merlin... he had such a charming smile. She was certain there must be half a paragraph on that.
But she supposed that half a paragraph wasn't quite the same as a whole foot.
Yet the foot was filled with negative traits. How was that supposed to be a good thing?
Oh, he was probably just messing with her head. If anything, she was lucky that he hadn't shared the contents of her list with the entire school. He must be preoccupied to not bother, because she was fairly certain that he would have under normal circumstances.
And, really, when there was only one 'pro' to the three hundred and forty-seven 'cons'... it did say quite a lot.
It was merely the matter of what exactly it was saying that she wasn't certain about.
Was she really so afraid of finding good points about Draco Malfoy that she overcompensated with the bad?
Even if that were the case, wasn't that a good thing? This was Draco Malfoy, for crying out loud. No good sides could make up for all of the bad.
Sighing, she sat down in her chair, staring at the parchment. Then, she got out a new piece of parchment and wrote, Pros.
Why she was doing this, she had no idea.
Pros: Supposedly good. Broad shoulders; lean frame. Annoying perception which might work to a sexual advantage.
That seemed like a fair overview.
Cons: Hateful bigot. Cruel, bordering on evil. Probably wouldn't know how to be gentle.
Those were some fairly good 'cons', if she had to say so herself. Especially the last one, since she wasn't really going to do anything with him that would take his other personality points into account.
She slowly tapped the quill against her pursed lips as she compared the new Malfoy 'pros' and 'cons' with the rest of her list. It looked a lot like the others now.
She still preferred Mallory to Malfoy.
Although... Mallory seemed to be such a nice boy. Maybe that wasn't a good thing. What if he got attached? What if she got attached? Ooh. She hadn't thought about the emotional bit before. Bother. She had to consider that this wasn't a mission to get attached to anyone. She only wanted the sexual experience before she re-evaluated what to do about Ron.
Not that she was really going to do anything.
But if she were... perhaps Malfoy's 'cons' would be 'pros', considering the circumstances, since they would effectively keep her from liking him the least bit. The only thing speaking against him, then, was the not-being-gentle part. She didn't want it to hurt more than it had to. But other than that...
Hmm. She frowned at the parchment for a few seconds before she began sniggering.
It really did seem like Malfoy would've been the best choice-if she'd wanted to actually go through with anything.
* * *
"You're an asshole," Smethley said for the umpteenth time. Somehow she seemed to think he might otherwise forget.
"Uh-huh, so you've said," Draco said, placing his hands on her waist and slowly drawing her closer. This was what she'd lured him here with, after all. She'd sent him a note that said they could meet here and not talk. He really was a fan of not talking.
"I don't know why I let you do this to me."
Because being with me makes you interesting and you love the attention.
But he didn't say that aloud. Instead he moved his hands under her shirt, running them up and down her ribcage, before bending down to kiss her. She didn't resist and he deepened the kiss, manoeuvring her until her back was against the wall. This was more like it. He ran his lips down her throat and grabbed her leg to hoist her up, but she resisted.
He stopped and looked at her.
She shivered as if cold and looked away. "It's draughty here, Draco."
What? She wanted the attention, but she wasn't prepared to do anything for it?
"I'll warm you," he replied.
She continued to avoid his gaze and slowly pushed away his hands. "I'm sure you will. But not tonight, all right?"
Tease. "How about not any night, then?" he coolly replied.
"Do you really have to be so crass?"
"I prefer it when I get some kind of payout from my investments. So far the investment of time and energy in you has been a waste. All I have so far is some witch who thinks she's my girlfriend and can tell me what to do, with absolutely none of the perks. I'll pass."
She slowly shook her head whilst listening to him, as if in disbelief. "They really were right about you."
"Of course they were right about me," he replied, having a fairly good idea what 'they' had said about him. "Any idiot could see that at a glance."
"I thought it was simply a front, but you really are bitter and rotten to the core, aren't you? Well, good luck with that!" Then she shoved him away and almost ran out.
Bitter? Who was bitter? Not him. He was merely annoyed with the fact that one part of his body wanted to be with girls whilst another couldn't stand them. Having physical urges that apparently required shutting off his brain was a pain. Especially when they were lying little bitches just trying to lead him around by his cock without actually delivering on their promises.
If only he were attracted to blokes. Or knew any interesting girls who'd go for an ex-Death Eater who might or might not go to Azkaban for an undetermined duration after he finished school.
He figured he might as well begin to attempt to train the former, because the latter was never going to happen.
Next Chapter
Master List
Disclaimer: JKR owns anything that is obviously hers. I own the rest. I do not make any money off this.
Characters: Draco Malfoy, Ginny Weasley, Hermione Granger, Theodore Nott, Others
Genres: Angst, Drama, Humour, Romance
Story Warnings: Epilogue? What Epilogue?, Profanity, Smut
Overall Rating: NC-17
Summary: Hermione needs to get rid of her pesky virginity for her very own reasons. The solution to that is, of course, to make a list of the boys at Hogwarts to find out which one will suit her purpose best! Draco Malfoy is at first left off her list, but when he finds out and teases her about it, she realises that maybe he has a point--after all, who would be better to take her virginity than the most gossiped about skirt chaser at Hogwarts? He's not quite as willing as she thought he'd be, though. Written to fit a prompt.
Extra Note: Thank you to mazvn and cklls for the beta and dollfaced for the banner. :)
Chapter Length: 5,651
* * *
It is an infantile superstition of the human spirit that virginity would be thought a virtue and not the barrier that separates ignorance from knowledge. - Voltaire
Hermione stared at the letter before her, her face feeling like it was made of stone. She had a feeling she should be upset, but she wasn't. Not really. Rather, she felt absolutely nothing. Her insides had gone numb.
This couldn't be true. It couldn't be happening. It must be some big, awful joke. Sometimes Ron had a rather horrible sense of humour. Yes, that must be it. It had only been a few months since they broke up, after all. And she'd even seen him during the Christmas holidays, only a couple of weeks ago.
Granted, he'd been avoiding looking her in the eyes, done everything he could not to be alone with her, and had only made monosyllabic replies whenever she spoke to him. But she'd only thought that he was still upset that she'd chosen to go back to school for her final year. She'd chosen not to confront him, thinking that the year was almost half done and there would be time enough to make up afterwards.
Time...
She felt tears rushing into her eyes, which was odd considering the numbness. How could he already have done this? It had only been a few months. They had been so devoted to each other. It was true that he hadn't wanted her to be apart from him for a whole year and that he'd finally presented her with an ultimatum that had resulted in their breakup, but she had considered that a temporary state. One she would soon remedy!
Now... well, she supposed it could still be remedied. The letter was from Ron, after all, and he said that he wanted to be honest with her and start afresh. He called himself all kinds of names and pleaded for her to understand, to forgive him, and for her to take him back. He said that if only she could forgive him for this one mistake, he would try his best never to make another, and he certainly would never repeat this one.
But he had already made this particular mistake, and it was simply too big for her to wrap her head around.
What had made him do such a thing? What had made her devoted, caring boyfriend-on-hiatus decide that she wasn't worth waiting for and sleep with someone else?
Hermione's hands began shaking and she unconsciously crumbled the edges of the letter as she tightened her fists to keep them steady.
He'd had his first time with someone else. Because she'd wanted to finish her education and he'd been unable to understand why going back to school was more important to her than marrying him right away.
It had only been a few months. She'd thought it was temporary.
Gathering her last strength, she stood and stiffly walked out of the Great Hall, aiming for her dormitory. She really needed a good cry right about now.
* * *
Tracing a vein in the table that a hundred Hogwarts students had traced before her with her quill, Hermione wondered if maybe she should get over this and do her homework. That was why she was seated in a quiet corner of the library, wasn't it? So she could study.
It was the whole reason for this mess. Her want to excel academically. If she didn't study, it would all have been for nothing. It had already been more than a week. Ron had owled her three more times. She'd sent the owls right back without accepting the letters. She couldn't stomach reading anything more he had to say right now. Later she would have a talk with him but not... not yet. It hurt too much.
Maybe she shouldn't have left. If she'd stayed with him, none of this would've ever happened.
Sneering at the wall as she realised what she was doing, she threw down her pen. What was she thinking? This wasn't her fault! He had made the decision to turn his back on their relationship and be with someone else, not her! If their love wasn't able to survive even a few months apart, then obviously it wasn't meant to be!
It wasn't meant to be.
Even now, she didn't actually believe that. She still loved him. She merely didn't want to face him yet. He'd tainted everything between them and she didn’t know how to make that taint go away. Not when he'd given his first time to someone else.
If only there was some way outside of actually talking to him to learn what had made him do such a thing. The letter had had an explanation of sorts, with mentions of loneliness, alcohol, and a witch who'd been flirting with him for a long time, making him feel wanted, but... it still didn't explain why to her.
What was so great about sex that someone would throw love to the wind for it? She didn't get it.
She understood the concept of sex, of course. She was nineteen years old and did have a libido. She knew her own body and she knew exactly how good it felt to touch it in certain ways. She'd also had a boyfriend long enough to know how nice kisses and exploratory touches could feel.
Yet even knowing this, she still didn't understand the pull that could make someone throw everything away for... what? An orgasm? She really didn't get it.
In the past week she'd been hypersensitive to anything sexual going on around her. Among the other students, she now saw lingering kisses, touches bordering on indecent, long knowing looks, slightly blushing cheeks, secret smiles and dishevelled clothes.
It seemed like far more people than she'd thought were sexually active and were greatly enjoying it.
She'd meant to do it with Ron eventually, but they hadn't actually been together that long before the school year began, and there'd been all the post-war damages and grief to deal with. They'd agreed that they would take their time since they had all the time in the world to get comfortable with each other in this new way.
All the time in the world. Except he couldn't keep it in his pants for a few months!
She glared at her books for several seconds, but then realised how irrationally she was behaving and deflated.
Ron wasn't perfect, no, but who was? He'd been honest with her once he'd realised what he'd done. That alone made him better than so many others. A bigger person would forgive him and move on.
If only it hadn't been his first time. For some reason she thought she could have forgiven him more easily if it hadn't been his first time.
What was so special about sex?
Maybe she should find out.
The thought gave her pause, but then she felt a devil coming up in her. Why shouldn't she find out? Ron had tainted everything between them and she couldn't even think about having sex with him without bile rising in her throat. Whether they would ever work things out was uncertain, but for now... she needed to know what this great allure was.
At least in theory. But planning mischief felt soothing in and of itself, so she went with it.
First, she would need someone to do it with. Nobody sprang to mind, really. She couldn't recall a single boy flirting with her all year. Everyone knew she was with Ron and she certainly hadn't been looking for anything else.
Nothing to it, then. She needed to make a list! Squinting and feeling determined about something for the first time in days, she neatly wrote, "Alderton, Ewan," at the top of her parchment.
* * *
Draco quietly made his way into the library and made a face when he realised that he wasn't the only one who'd chosen to use this Saturday for studying. Someone was at every table he could see, and he really wasn't in a mood to be sociable. He rarely was these days. At least not in a way that was acceptable during library hours.
He slowly began moving towards the back, scouting for a table, but there seemed to be at least one inhabitant for each one. There was plenty of room for him to join someone, but... he didn't want to. He only wanted to do his homework in peace and then go back to his dormitory. He wasn't inclined to share a table with someone who'd heard about his misadventures and would distract him with their staring or rude and invasive questions.
Apparently his proximity with You-Know-Who was extremely fascinating. Funny how he was anything but fascinated himself. He'd been living in Hell, doing his very best to simply survive, and he'd really much rather forget about it. Unfortunately, his very best had made him a criminal and his case was still, for the most part, pending.
They would evaluate his academic achievements as well as his general behaviour and attitude once this year was over, and he hoped good behaviour, good marks, and a generous donation from his father would be what made him free again.
One thing was certain-he would never ever throw in his lot with a Dark Wizard again. Ever. He merely wanted to be left alone. And possibly be allowed to sarcastically comment on something without someone somewhere making a note and telling it to the Ministry who'd then send him an owl, threatening him with Azkaban if he didn't conform. Ok, so maybe that didn't happen every time, but it had happened once and since then he'd had to bite his tongue on more than one occasion. It wasn't worth it. But he was leaving this bloody country as soon as it didn't mean they'd send a whole group of Hit Wizards after him.
He'd reached the end of the library and stopped, scowling at the girl at the table furthest in the back. Why did she have to take up a whole table every single day? She was Head Girl this year and the only Gryffindor girl to redo seventh year, so she didn't even have to share her dormitory!
At least that was the reason they gave. Heads didn't normally have private quarters, though, and Draco and the other Slytherin boys redoing their year had merely been stuck in the regular seventh year dormitory, so he figured that this was the Headmistress kissing the arse of a known War Hero and getting good publicity for it. Something that this school sorely needed these days, after everything that had been going on here.
He detested preferential treatment when it wasn't for his benefit.
Something was off with her today, though. He narrowed his eyes, trying to figure out what. It didn't take long before he realised what it was. She wasn't even studying! She was merely sitting there, staring at some parchment in front of her, neither reading nor making notes-hell, she didn't even look like she was thinking!
And for that she was occupying a table? He couldn't help the sneer that was forming on his face. He couldn't stand her. He hated the way she always dominated every class, the way everyone was constantly sucking up to her, and the way she always looked right through him, as if he weren't even there or were simply beneath her notice.
Uppity bitch!
He bared his teeth in a vicious grimace. Suddenly Azkaban didn't seem like such a great risk.
* * *
What was she doing? Hermione stared at the parchments neatly outlining all the appropriate boys. This was such a silly pastime. She should spend her time and energy on solving real problems, rather than fantasising about doing something so reckless and immature.
"Are you going to study or not?" a flat voice asked behind her.
She blinked, ripped from her daze and turned her head to see Draco Malfoy glowering at her. "None of your business."
"You're taking up space."
"So are you, but I at least have the decency to not complain about the waste to your face."
He made a grimace. "Hilarious, Granger. Now take your things and move so the rest of us can get some studying done."
"Sod off, Malfoy. There's plenty of available room!"
"I can't share a table with any of you losers."
"Believe me, I wasn't inviting you to." She reached for a new piece of parchment, feeling an odd urge to rearrange her list for the third time. "I guess you'll have to come back later."
"What's this?" he asked, and before she had a chance to stop him, he'd moved forward and snatched her notes.
"Hey, give it back!" She made a grasp for them but he easily dodged her. Damn, why had she chosen today of all days to not bring her wand?
"And what class is this for, then?" he asked, skimming over the names. "Bradley, Mike. Pros: Fit and toned. Seems to have stamina. Cons: Spots. Halitosis." He raised an eyebrow at her.
Hermione's cheeks were flaming and she leapt to her feet and lunged for her notes, but he simply jumped to the side, moved the chair between them, and kept on reading.
"Merlin, you even have Goyle on here!" he continued. "Pros: Tall. Not too bright. Cons: Disgusting pig." He laughed. "Like them dumb, do you, Granger? I always figured that, what with you seeing Weasley and all."
"Give it back, Malfoy," Hermione hissed, lunging at him again, and this time she got hold of his arm, but he merely moved the parchments to his other hand and held them outside of her reach.
"Not so fast, Granger. I want to see what it says about me."
"No, you don't!" she growled and grasped for it."Give it back!"
"Calm down," he said, hardly suppressing his glee. "I need to know if you think I have halitosis, don't I?"
"That would be the least of your problems!"
"MacFarlan... Mallory..." His grin faded and he frowned, his eyes darting over the page. "Hey, you forgot about me! Every other seventh and eighth year wizard is on here but me!"
No, she hadn't forgotten about him. She'd simply decided that putting his name down was a waste of ink. "What can I say? You're not as memorable as you think you are," she hissed.
He scoffed at her. "Mallory... isn't he only fifth year? Going for the young ones, are we, Granger?"
James Mallory was indeed only fifth year, but she'd seen him come in and reach for a book and... well, she'd liked what she'd seen. He definitely looked older than his sixteen years and when she'd asked him his name, age and relationship status, he'd flashed her the most charming grin that had led her to believe that he didn't mind her interest at all.
She finally managed to get her notes back as Malfoy seemed to have lost interest in them. "Not that it's any of your business, Malfoy, but it's not that big an age difference. If he'd been the older one, nobody would bat an eyelid." She rolled up the parchments and put them in her bag.
"Tire of Weasley, then, eh?" he asked with a little snort. "Or maybe he simply has a really tiny willy? Or maybe-"
"-maybe you should shut the hell up, Malfoy!" she cut him off. "And don't you dare mention this to anyone!"
That seemed to be what he'd been waiting for. "I'll keep your dirty little secret if you leave the table."
"I'm going!" She shoved her book and quill into her bag as well and turned to leave.
"Oh, and Granger?"
"What?" she snapped.
He took the time to sit down before he replied, "You might want to examine the reason why you're afraid of putting my name on that list."
* * *
Afraid. Afraid. Afraid!
Hermione prided herself of being afraid of very little and always facing her fear, so the very notion that she should be afraid of something as silly as putting Draco Malfoy's name on a stupid list was laughable.
Still, sitting at her desk, she felt very uncomfortable looking at his name on her piece of paper.
It was just odd, that was all. This boy was such an awful human being. He might not be capable of murder, but he'd certainly been capable of causing a lot of suffering that could easily have been avoided. How could she possibly look past that?
Pros: A boy. Cons: Draco Malfoy.
Somehow she felt she should be able to give better reasons, but this pretty much summed up how she felt about him at the moment.
* * *
"There's my favourite boy," Pansy said, walking up behind Draco where he was sat, eating, in the Great Hall and kissing him on the cheek.
He didn't stop eating on that account. Besides, he was hardly her favourite boy any longer.
"Where else would I be, Pans?" he asked. "It's meal time. I eat. Amazingly enough, it happens every day."
"Ooh, someone's cranky." She sat down next to him. "Let me guess. Smethley is getting on your nerves."
"Why is everything girls with you?"
"It's not. But she's annoying, you knew she was annoying, I told you she was annoying, and now you're looking mightily annoyed."
He scowled at her. "She'd be all right if she'd only shut up and take off her shirt."
"Oh, that's lovely. Tell your ex that you don't care about anything but boobs. I can't imagine why I put up with you for so long."
"Don't feel bad. It's my natural charm. Besides, I can think of a few more female assets I admire and enjoy interacting with. None of them necessitate talking."
She snorted. "You're disgusting."
"But you love me, really." And oh, how he wished she didn’t sometimes.
"Unfortunately. So what'll you do about Smethley?"
He shrugged. "She'll do for now. At least until I find something better."
Pansy stared at him.
"Oh, come on, Pansy," he felt compelled to stop eating and say after a few seconds. "You know she's about as fond of me as I am of her. She merely enjoys playing with fire."
"Yes, well," she said, concentrating on her plate of food. "Disregarding the fact that you just referred to witches as things, I'm well aware of what kind of relationship you're having."
"It's not a relationship."
"Shut up. Whenever two people interact, there's a relationship."
"Now you're being pernickety."
"You started it!" she exclaimed loud enough to attract some attention. Sighing, she closed her eyes and touched her forehead like talking to him was a great chore. "Look, I know you think these girls are stupid for wanting to be with someone who lived with the Dark Lord for months, but do you really need to act like this?"
"What do you care about Smethley?"
"I don't. I care about you. You didn't use to be like this. You've always been an arse, but at least you weren't completely unfeeling."
"Ah, right. And that's why we're still together."
She gave him an odd look. "I dumped you because you were immature and uncommitted, Draco. Not because you were cold."
"I thought you dumped me because Theo snogged the living daylights out of you and then some and you liked it."
"Well, that too."
He snorted. "Either way, it's about the same result, isn't it?"
"So, what? This is a way of punishing me?"
He resumed eating. "Not everything is about you, Pansy. I've just decided what I want and that's what I'm going for. That's all I'm going for."
"So, you've decided to remain more immature than ever, then?"
"If that's how you want to look at it."
She rolled her eyes at him and got back up and left. He scowled after her. Who was she to judge him? She already had another bloke to nag, so why was she spending her time nagging him as well?
She really wasn't making a convincing case for the appeal of 'maturity'.
* * *
He was actually quite popular!
The revelation hit Hermione one day and left her slightly disoriented. She'd spent the past few days scowling at Draco Malfoy every chance she got and had noticed a whole host of new things about him.
For starters, he didn't seem to be seeing Pansy Parkinson any longer, but they were still friendly. Hermione had always loathed Pansy, and seeing how she cooed over her ex-boyfriend didn't help the disdain any. Hermione had to seriously doubt the sanity of anyone who'd go out with Malfoy and dote on him like that afterwards.
And then there were the other witches. Hermione wouldn't have believed it if she hadn't seen it for herself, but apparently some girls found his surly, pasty self appealing. She didn't understand it. Not at all. Mallory from fifth year was definitely much more attractive and much nicer. He'd actually talked to her a few times since their library meeting and was definitely at the top of her list. Malfoy, on the other hand... He didn't even seem to treat those witches any better than he treated anyone else, but they still seemed to want to be around him. Why?
Unfortunately, that wasn't the easiest question to answer without giving the wrong impression, so she went for quite a while without solving the mystery.
Then she discovered bathroom gossip.
She wasn't entirely unaware of the phenomenon, of course, considering how she had had to use the bathroom before, but she had simply never realised what a valuable source of information it could be.
It didn't take her long to feel nauseated.
Apparently, Andrew Kirke had been caught cheating on his girlfriend, Ewan Alderton was more interested in boys than girls, and-this was the hard part to stomach-Draco Malfoy was considered someone you should at least have a go at if you were of the adventurous sort.
That was certainly one kind of adventure Hermione could easily live without.
When a girl expressed the same kind of scepticism that Hermione was feeling, the others simply laughed it off and said that he wasn't for everyone, but he was supposedly good.
Good? Good at what, exactly?
She had a feeling she didn't really want the answer to that. Eavesdropping was stupid, anyway.
Yet that night she changed Malfoy's 'pro' to 'supposedly good.'
* * *
"Are you listening to me at all, Draco?"
"No. I do wish you'd shut up."
Cat Smethley began indignantly sputtering, and Draco smothered a yawn and glanced at the clock. How long was this going to take?
She finally gave up on the outrage and crossed her arms over her chest. "Sometimes I think you're rude just to be rude."
"No, Cat," he said, moving to sit down on the empty office's sofa. If he was going to have a fight, he might as well be comfortable whilst doing it. "I simply see no reason to lie to you. I don't really care about your day, your shoes, or who you're currently having a petty squabble with. Either start snogging me or leave."
She gaped at him and then clenched her fists and stomped off.
He supposed that meant their 'relationship' was over. It was about time anyway. She'd begun to think that he cared about what she had to say. He didn't. She didn't have anything to say that in any way interested him. None of them did. The only girl he'd ever remotely enjoyed talking to was Pansy, and she'd long since found someone else, so...
But at least she'd done him one 'favour' before she left him. She'd told everyone at length how great he was in bed-in spite of never allowing him to get that far. He supposed it had been due to her guilty conscience from leading him on for years, only to leave him for someone else. Somehow those rumours had run rampant and he was now credited with numerous conquests.
Apparently that in itself was an aphrodisiac to most girls. They were so illogical.
He got to his feet, deciding he might as well go to bed since he wasn't going to have any fun tonight.
He'd made it down a few stairs before he saw the Head Girl coming at him. He silently swore, calculating his chances of slipping down a side-corridor or into an empty room before she saw him out of his dormitory after curfew.
Granger looked up and oddly brightened. "Malfoy! Just the person I wanted to see!"
He stopped, eyeing her warily. "You wanted to see me? Looking for someone to give a detention, then?"
She shook her head and handed him a roll of parchment. "I added your name."
He suppressed a snort. He'd known his remark would drive her bonkers, which was why he'd made it. She was so easy sometimes.
He accepted the parchment and read aloud, "Malfoy, Draco. Pros: Supposedly good. Cons: ..." He stopped and rolled out the parchment to its full one-foot length and stared at the massive block of writing before scowling at her. "Cute."
She shook her head. "No, I'm fairly sure it doesn't say that anywhere."
He rolled the parchment back up and smirked. "Wow, Granger. You must really be struggling with this attraction."
She stared at him for a few moments before she blinked and said, "Excuse me?"
"The very fact that you need to justify one simple 'pro' with so many 'cons'..." He shook his head. "I suppose you can't help it."
She narrowed her eyes at him. She really was easy. "I simply didn't know where to start," she bit out.
"Considering the simplicity of the rest of your list, it seems like you put a lot of thought into this. Far more than you had to."
Her cheeks pinkened. And here he'd thought he wouldn't have any fun tonight. "You'd be the same," she muttered.
"The same?"
"Yeah." She raised her chin. "If you had to put me on a list."
He shrugged and took a step forward. "Pro..." He looked her over from top to bottom. "Nice enough body. Cons would be your annoying know-it-all personality and constant yammering."
Her eyes widened slightly. "Don't forget my blood status."
"I have a feeling that whatever that list of yours is for, it's nothing permanent enough for blood status to matter."
"Really." She tilted her head, giving him a long, thoughtful look that made him wish he'd simply called her a Mudblood.
"You're looking for sex, aren't you?" he asked, trying to avoid the look. "Why?"
"I find it intriguing that you'd chance sex with someone not pure-blood."
"I wasn't offering."
"Neither was I,” she was quick to say. “I was referring to your earlier comment."
He shrugged carelessly. "As long as one is careful and doesn't leave offspring, there's nothing wrong with indulging in a bit of dirty behaviour."
"Charming."
His lips quirked at her dry tone. "Yes, I know."
"I'm feeling seduced right now."
"You wish that were the case."
She snorted. "Hardly."
He leant forward. "Deny it all you want, Granger,” he said in a low, silky tone of voice. “I've seen your list. I was the only one who stood out."
Smirking to himself, he turned away and sauntered down to the dungeons. Teasing the Head Girl was more fun than he'd ever thought it would be. She flustered so easily and couldn't seem to stop herself from being baited by him.
He was almost looking forward to how she would next 'prove' that she wasn't attracted to him. He was quite certain that she wouldn't let him get away with claiming that she was.
* * *
I was the only one who stood out.
Hermione stood, staring at the parchment on her desk with her eyes narrowed and her arms crossed over her chest.
He was wrong. Plenty of people stood out. Mallory from fifth year, for instance, had quite the positive list. Definitely no halitosis there. And, oh, Merlin... he had such a charming smile. She was certain there must be half a paragraph on that.
But she supposed that half a paragraph wasn't quite the same as a whole foot.
Yet the foot was filled with negative traits. How was that supposed to be a good thing?
Oh, he was probably just messing with her head. If anything, she was lucky that he hadn't shared the contents of her list with the entire school. He must be preoccupied to not bother, because she was fairly certain that he would have under normal circumstances.
And, really, when there was only one 'pro' to the three hundred and forty-seven 'cons'... it did say quite a lot.
It was merely the matter of what exactly it was saying that she wasn't certain about.
Was she really so afraid of finding good points about Draco Malfoy that she overcompensated with the bad?
Even if that were the case, wasn't that a good thing? This was Draco Malfoy, for crying out loud. No good sides could make up for all of the bad.
Sighing, she sat down in her chair, staring at the parchment. Then, she got out a new piece of parchment and wrote, Pros.
Why she was doing this, she had no idea.
Pros: Supposedly good. Broad shoulders; lean frame. Annoying perception which might work to a sexual advantage.
That seemed like a fair overview.
Cons: Hateful bigot. Cruel, bordering on evil. Probably wouldn't know how to be gentle.
Those were some fairly good 'cons', if she had to say so herself. Especially the last one, since she wasn't really going to do anything with him that would take his other personality points into account.
She slowly tapped the quill against her pursed lips as she compared the new Malfoy 'pros' and 'cons' with the rest of her list. It looked a lot like the others now.
She still preferred Mallory to Malfoy.
Although... Mallory seemed to be such a nice boy. Maybe that wasn't a good thing. What if he got attached? What if she got attached? Ooh. She hadn't thought about the emotional bit before. Bother. She had to consider that this wasn't a mission to get attached to anyone. She only wanted the sexual experience before she re-evaluated what to do about Ron.
Not that she was really going to do anything.
But if she were... perhaps Malfoy's 'cons' would be 'pros', considering the circumstances, since they would effectively keep her from liking him the least bit. The only thing speaking against him, then, was the not-being-gentle part. She didn't want it to hurt more than it had to. But other than that...
Hmm. She frowned at the parchment for a few seconds before she began sniggering.
It really did seem like Malfoy would've been the best choice-if she'd wanted to actually go through with anything.
* * *
"You're an asshole," Smethley said for the umpteenth time. Somehow she seemed to think he might otherwise forget.
"Uh-huh, so you've said," Draco said, placing his hands on her waist and slowly drawing her closer. This was what she'd lured him here with, after all. She'd sent him a note that said they could meet here and not talk. He really was a fan of not talking.
"I don't know why I let you do this to me."
Because being with me makes you interesting and you love the attention.
But he didn't say that aloud. Instead he moved his hands under her shirt, running them up and down her ribcage, before bending down to kiss her. She didn't resist and he deepened the kiss, manoeuvring her until her back was against the wall. This was more like it. He ran his lips down her throat and grabbed her leg to hoist her up, but she resisted.
He stopped and looked at her.
She shivered as if cold and looked away. "It's draughty here, Draco."
What? She wanted the attention, but she wasn't prepared to do anything for it?
"I'll warm you," he replied.
She continued to avoid his gaze and slowly pushed away his hands. "I'm sure you will. But not tonight, all right?"
Tease. "How about not any night, then?" he coolly replied.
"Do you really have to be so crass?"
"I prefer it when I get some kind of payout from my investments. So far the investment of time and energy in you has been a waste. All I have so far is some witch who thinks she's my girlfriend and can tell me what to do, with absolutely none of the perks. I'll pass."
She slowly shook her head whilst listening to him, as if in disbelief. "They really were right about you."
"Of course they were right about me," he replied, having a fairly good idea what 'they' had said about him. "Any idiot could see that at a glance."
"I thought it was simply a front, but you really are bitter and rotten to the core, aren't you? Well, good luck with that!" Then she shoved him away and almost ran out.
Bitter? Who was bitter? Not him. He was merely annoyed with the fact that one part of his body wanted to be with girls whilst another couldn't stand them. Having physical urges that apparently required shutting off his brain was a pain. Especially when they were lying little bitches just trying to lead him around by his cock without actually delivering on their promises.
If only he were attracted to blokes. Or knew any interesting girls who'd go for an ex-Death Eater who might or might not go to Azkaban for an undetermined duration after he finished school.
He figured he might as well begin to attempt to train the former, because the latter was never going to happen.
Next Chapter
Master List