I really need to write on this thing
I'm spending more time at the gym. Not buff yet (I like food too much for muscles to show up), but I can deadlift 115, bench 65, and squat 95 on a good day (bad knees = not many good days). So that's nice. Aiming for three-digit numbers in all of the above, and the ability to do ONE un-assisted pullup before I die. So.
Remember date-not-date guy? We're still hanging out, he's still sweet as pie, and he likes my cooking. He's getting more attractive by the day. It helps that the panic attacks have faded away to a dull discomfort. So that's nice. I might even find the stones to try dating him again, since he's proven time and time again that he's a Really Solid Guy. (Not to mention an incredibly supportive gym buddy twice a week - I won't be gaining 30+ pounds due to drinking and eating to excess as a means of Doing Something Together.)
Everything else... work is still a way to pay most of my bills but the wages are rather shite (for the industry - I realize I make halfway decent money, but it's STILL not enough to live on my own despite being professionally licensed and earning some measure of seniority; compared to what others in the same positions make at other brokerages, we're a good 10K less a year, or more. It's irritating, especially when the company makes other large financial decisions that are clearly Not Smart, and then whines about the bottom line being so tight.)
I'm still hovering at the upper half of the 155s on the scale (and have for the better part of a year, now), but I'm slowly changing composition, so it's a leaner look than before. Frustrating, to see a number that doesn't signify progress, but the tape measure says otherwise. And I need to realize that at my goal body composition, I will probably weigh MORE. I quit Weight Watchers - their system punishes me for the amount of protein I need in a day to build muscle mass, and rewards bad/overprocessed food choices (yes, it's fat free and sugar free, but I can't pronounce half of the ingredients and I'm hungry half an hour later.... so I go over my Points budget constantly trying to stay satisfied. Better to have full fat, high protein, and reduce the processed carbs as much as I can in the middle of Girl Scout Cookie season. Also, BACON.) Using My Fitness Pal instead - more customizable goals. So yay for that.
Most of my social networking has slipped from Facebook to Fitocracy. I tend to get unrealistic expectations of how I'll look in the mirror, surrounded by So Many Beautiful People, but it's also a site that's incredibly supportive of everyone, no matter what stage of their fitness they're in. (Added bonus: the number of fit men who post shirtless pics. Eye candy, all day, every day.) And I really have turned into a gym rat. I ADORE lifting weights. Still hate cardio, but... Love weightlifting. Love the next-day ache that tells me I did well. Also like kickboxing, since I can get all my violent urges out on the bag and still improve coordination and conditioning. Win? :)
I still stalk everyone on my feed here, though. I just haven't commented as much. . .
Anyway. That's the state of my life right now.
Remember date-not-date guy? We're still hanging out, he's still sweet as pie, and he likes my cooking. He's getting more attractive by the day. It helps that the panic attacks have faded away to a dull discomfort. So that's nice. I might even find the stones to try dating him again, since he's proven time and time again that he's a Really Solid Guy. (Not to mention an incredibly supportive gym buddy twice a week - I won't be gaining 30+ pounds due to drinking and eating to excess as a means of Doing Something Together.)
Everything else... work is still a way to pay most of my bills but the wages are rather shite (for the industry - I realize I make halfway decent money, but it's STILL not enough to live on my own despite being professionally licensed and earning some measure of seniority; compared to what others in the same positions make at other brokerages, we're a good 10K less a year, or more. It's irritating, especially when the company makes other large financial decisions that are clearly Not Smart, and then whines about the bottom line being so tight.)
I'm still hovering at the upper half of the 155s on the scale (and have for the better part of a year, now), but I'm slowly changing composition, so it's a leaner look than before. Frustrating, to see a number that doesn't signify progress, but the tape measure says otherwise. And I need to realize that at my goal body composition, I will probably weigh MORE. I quit Weight Watchers - their system punishes me for the amount of protein I need in a day to build muscle mass, and rewards bad/overprocessed food choices (yes, it's fat free and sugar free, but I can't pronounce half of the ingredients and I'm hungry half an hour later.... so I go over my Points budget constantly trying to stay satisfied. Better to have full fat, high protein, and reduce the processed carbs as much as I can in the middle of Girl Scout Cookie season. Also, BACON.) Using My Fitness Pal instead - more customizable goals. So yay for that.
Most of my social networking has slipped from Facebook to Fitocracy. I tend to get unrealistic expectations of how I'll look in the mirror, surrounded by So Many Beautiful People, but it's also a site that's incredibly supportive of everyone, no matter what stage of their fitness they're in. (Added bonus: the number of fit men who post shirtless pics. Eye candy, all day, every day.) And I really have turned into a gym rat. I ADORE lifting weights. Still hate cardio, but... Love weightlifting. Love the next-day ache that tells me I did well. Also like kickboxing, since I can get all my violent urges out on the bag and still improve coordination and conditioning. Win? :)
I still stalk everyone on my feed here, though. I just haven't commented as much. . .
Anyway. That's the state of my life right now.