atwt first fanfic
Ok so I've started writing my first ATWT fanfic ever, which also happens to be my first fanfic involving romance, like a week ago and now I 'm gonna post the first part of it! Kinda excited.
Just hope that the posting will work like I want it to! (I'm so useless with computers it isn't even funny O_O)
Summary: Post episode of May 20th. Luke is left at the bar with a constricting heart and confused mind. Can he figure things out and make the right choice?
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Disclaimer: I do not own ATWT or its characters...If I did Luke and Reid would have been together for quite a while now.
Big THANK YOU to Rukelover for reading this and giving me her opinion and enough confidence to post this online (and for being awesome!!!)
Note: English is my second language and after today’s episode, I felt the need to post this to try cheering myself up, so it’s not beta-ed. Sorry L . thanks Rukelover for proposing yourself to do it though. I’ll probably take you up on that later on!
- and “blah blah”means speech
‘blah, blah’ means thoughts
Chapter 1
Luke Snyder sat at the bar, slouched in his seat, as he watched yet another man reject his presence today ‘Well, isn’t this becoming a recurring theme?’ he thought bitterly.
It seemed that every action he took was unwelcome or unappreciated nowadays. First Noah pushed him constantly when he became blind, up to the point where there was no other solution then breaking up. Then, when things seemed to calm down with Noah and he accepted his presence again, Reid was the one furious because of the closeness between him and Noah. He was angry because he thought Luke wanted to forget that anything had happened between them, yet when Luke decided to tell Noah about it and acknowledged that there was something going on with Reid, he was told he was being inconsiderate and selfish! And then Noah, who was all “I never stopped loving you. I want you back” pushed him away yet again, only minutes before Reid put another nail in the coffin by telling him he couldn’t do this.
‘What do these guys want me to do, huh? What do you want me to do Reid? To quote you What do you want from me?’
Luke didn’t know what to do anymore. He was at lost. He wanted to do what was best. He didn’t want to hurt anybody but the only thing he succeeded in doing was antagonizing the men he… The men he what was the question. Everything was just a big ugly mess.
“Luke, honey, there you are”
Lily Snyder had been worried. Her son was clearly in a confused state of mind when she left him at the hospital. She thought that provoking his reflection by asking him these questions would guide him towards an answer to his problems but now she was unsure. Not to mention the conversations she had with both Dr.Oliver and Noah, cheering them on both in hope they would put all their cards on the table so her son could make an advised decision, instead of just jumping in a new relationship that may not be what he needs to be happy. What if she had just made things worse for her boy? Oh why couldn’t she just stop meddling? Deep down, she knew the answer. She was unhappy and she couldn’t bear for her son to be too. ‘Hell is paved with good intentions as they say’ Lily thought to herself, silently sending a prayer that her meddling would not come back to bite her behind later on.
“ Luke! I was worried when I couldn’t find you at the hospital. Noah told me what happened.
-Yeah I was ditched again, Luke replied bitterly. Apparently, it’s the healthiest lifestyle one can have, since everyone seems to be applying it.
-Luke, you know that’s not true.
-Really Mom? When was the last time Casey, Allison or Maddie contacted me? Without Noah being there I mean. Face it mom. Noah and Reid just followed the new trend.
-No baby that’s not what they did. I think…I think they did what they thought was best for you. You know, Noah told me Dr.Oliver told him to fight for what he wanted, to fight for you.
-Really? Are you sure?
-Yes.
Luke felt a rock the size of Texas fall in his stomach. Reid had told Noah to get back together with Luke. Reid. The guy who had kissed him in Dallas. The guy who had made it clearly known that he was interested in Luke and that he deserved better than how Noah was treating him. The one who tried and failed(quite miserably too) at not being jealous of Luke and Noah’s interactions. The one who refused categorically to pretend nothing had happened between them. The one from whom one look could sent Luke to the happiest of places, as well as to the hottest, and whose eyes pierced deeply right into him every time he encountered them. Reid Oliver, the man who had made him feel more wanted than he’d ever been and feel more alive and passionate than he had felt in years, had told Noah to fight to get Luke back. Suddenly, Reid’s departure from the bar felt much more final. Luke swallowed hard and repeated his mantra ’I will not cry’ like a broken record. He had messed everything up. How can a man go from wanting him to telling his ex-boyfriend that he’s welcome to him?
- Luke? Are you okay?
- No, Luke answered his voiced trembling as he tried to keep the flow of tears inside, I’m not okay mom. I’m…I don’t understand. Reid told me he wanted me. How…How do you go from wanting someone to letting them go?
- I don’t know sweetie. How do you go from wanting to help your boyfriend, the love of your life, recover to breaking up with him?
- That’s not the same thing mom, you know that.
- No, actually Luke I think you’re wrong. I think it’s exactly the same thing. You wanted to be with Noah still when you broke up right?
- Of course. Back then, it was what I wanted most.
- Then why did you break up?
- Because… because he didn’t want me there, mom. He didn’t…it was the only thing I could do. The only thing that would make him if not happy then not so miserable either.
- So you let Noah go because you wanted him to be happy right? Don’t you think that maybe Dr. Oliver and Noah both pushed you away because they thought that’s what you needed? Because they want you to be happy for once?
- How can they think pushing me away will make me happy?
- They think setting you free will make you happy.
Luke couldn’t understand. It was obvious by the lost look he sported on his delicate face. Lily was feeling at lost. She did not know how to help Luke. She could not personally interfere in his affairs any more than she had already done. Past experiences had shown her that much. Beside, even if she wanted to interfere, and play matchmaker (maybe even get Katie to help her form a plan) who would she play matchmaker to? Who would she try to convince to make a move on her son? Her son’s ex-boyfriend or Oakdale’s king of sarcasm and neurosurgery? She didn’t know who Luke was in love with, if he was in love with one of them at all. And even if he wasn’t, she didn’t know who Luke wanted or needed the most. If she were to tell Luke that she’d help him to get his man, would he even know who that is? From what she gathered at the hospital, he wouldn’t.
- Luke… remember what I asked you at the hospital? About what you would do if Noah apologized and was ready to do anything to have you back? Do you remember what you told me?
- That I still love Noah.
- Yes and I told you that it didn’t answer my question. And it doesn’t Luke. Loving Noah and wanting to be with him are two different things. Just like loving someone and being IN LOVE with someone are two different things. You loving Noah doesn’t tell me if you would go back to him. And it doesn’t tell Noah or Dr.Oliver if you would go back to Noah either. So would you?
- I don’t know ok? I just don’t know!
- If you don’t know what you want, none of us can know in your place honey.
- I know that!
- Alright then, let me tell you Faith’s dilemma then answer my questions ok? It’ll distract you from your own problems.
Luke looked sceptically at his mother. With all the sh*** that has been happening for him right now, she thinks talking about Faith would help him? Oh what the heck. Why not? He really has nothing to lose and beside, he’s the big brother. If Faith is in trouble, then it’s his job to try and help her. And maybe this time, he could do something right, instead of messing things up.
- Faith is interested in a boy. Very interested actually and she made it quite clear to this boy. He seems interested back. He flirts with her a lot and has even kissed her a couple of times. However, he’s still friends with his ex-girlfriend because no matter what he still cares deeply about her. Now, normally that wouldn’t be the end of the world, except that the ex-girfriend isn’t sure that she only wants to be friends and recently she kissed the boy. Now, by a series of unfortunate circumstances, Faith has heard about the kiss. Yet when she saw the boy again, he kissed her too. They went on a couple of dates but he’s still seeing his ex and from what your sister has witnessed he’s quite affectionate with the other girl. Faith is quite hurt about it. Some days she thinks he wants her, then at other times it seems he wants his ex. When she questions him, he’s always vague about it. He told her he doesn’t know who he really wants to be with, who he loves the most. He’s always saying he doesn’t know and it hurts Faith every time. Now what is your first thought about the situation.
- That Faith should dump him and find someone who really wants her and only her.
- So you don’t think the boy is being fair to Faith?
- No, of course not. He’s stringing her along mom. She deserves better.
- Yes but the boy is confused Luke and he does genuinely like your sister.
- Yeah but it hurts Faith. And I bet the other girl isn’t feeling any better about it either.
- So, you think that he’s leading both girls on because of his confused feelings. And you would tell Faith to let the boy go?
- Yes.
- If I told you that Faith told the boy that to go back to his ex and be happy, what would you say?
- Good.
- Why is that?
- Because it’s hurting her mom. She better suffer the pain of letting him go than have him change his mind later on.
- Yes, but now the ex let him go too. She said she could never know if he’s with her because he chose her, and wants her or if he’s with her because Faith rejected him. Do you understand her decision
- Yeah, I guess. She doesn’t want to be second choice. She wants him to want her.
- Uh huh. So then tell me honey, why don’t you understand Dr.Oliver’s and Noah’s decision?
With that, Lily got up from her seat and gathered her purse and coat. Her son had many things to think about and there was nothing else she could do to help him at this point. It was time for Luke to make his own decision, and find what would please him, not what would please everyone else. She couldn’t tell him who to love. She just hoped that he would be able to figure it all out soon.