It's Getting Better
Feeling significantly calmer today, possibly because it's the morning, I'm sitting in the university cafe on free syrup day (Orange hot chocolate!), and I've just had another nice meeting with my tutor, during which I expanded my vocabulary quite a bit. (Why do languages have to have so many words? Why does German have so many verbs that change meanings entirely when they've got a prefix? Is "Schaukelpferd" - rocking horse - an essential vocabulary word? Why, for heaven's sake, are there three genders assigned almost totally at random?) I also managed to solve her present-buying problems with the book "Hamburg Musik!" and we discussed Wikileaks a bit. She suggested that maybe I could use that for one of my portfolio assignments, which should be interesting...
Anyway, I'm full of energy (and sugar, don't forget the sugar). Oddly enough, not full of anger; I simply feel alive and receptive. Outward-directed, ready to connect with the world and everyone in it. I think this is somewhat similar to the feeling that Jacques Lusseyran described in his autobiography: when he was happy, he was confident, objects reached out to meet him, and he was able to navigate with ease; when he was unhappy, the world shut itself off from him, he was fearful, and he'd hurt himself of walk into things - he was truly blind during those times, as I believe he describes it. This is what I mean when I say it's a "universal" books: when I'm unhappy the world appears grey and I want to hole myself up and be miserable alone, and when I'm happy - well, I want to be out there, doing stuff, learning stuff, and I'm much less shy. This is because I feel like I'm connected by some indescribable means to my environment: it's a feeling that makes me amazingly confident.
So! I feel fantastic. Fantastic enough to tackle the irritating intricacies of German grammar, designed to trip up even the most diligent of students.
Anyway, I'm full of energy (and sugar, don't forget the sugar). Oddly enough, not full of anger; I simply feel alive and receptive. Outward-directed, ready to connect with the world and everyone in it. I think this is somewhat similar to the feeling that Jacques Lusseyran described in his autobiography: when he was happy, he was confident, objects reached out to meet him, and he was able to navigate with ease; when he was unhappy, the world shut itself off from him, he was fearful, and he'd hurt himself of walk into things - he was truly blind during those times, as I believe he describes it. This is what I mean when I say it's a "universal" books: when I'm unhappy the world appears grey and I want to hole myself up and be miserable alone, and when I'm happy - well, I want to be out there, doing stuff, learning stuff, and I'm much less shy. This is because I feel like I'm connected by some indescribable means to my environment: it's a feeling that makes me amazingly confident.
So! I feel fantastic. Fantastic enough to tackle the irritating intricacies of German grammar, designed to trip up even the most diligent of students.