(no subject)
I love Justin. Jeff, Justin and I had a rockin' good time at Ihop last night. I love those boys so very very much.
"Hey, this doesn't sound like Himsa".....
The cancer thing kinda hit me again today. It really sucks to think about it, I'm not in the mood to die. I know that sounds really really weird but I don't know how else to describe it. I just don't feel like dying. I know that's a good thing, but I feel all weak and gross every time I cry about it.
I also wish I could grow some balls and say the things I want to people. When it finally happens, and I can feel it coming, some of you will be happy, some of you will be mad and some of you will be crying. There is shit a long time coming about ready to burst out of my brain and into the world.
Some people give me a ridiculous amount of strength just from knowing they are alive. A conversation I had last week keeps ringing in my ears. "I have the world at my finger tips, don't worry about me". Well I DO worry about you. I know we are both severely underestimated and life really likes to bend us over and fuck us twice, but I love you, I'm here for you, we'll conquer this together. You make me want to live. (why do I write this, HE DOESN'T EVEN READ LJ!!!)
"I turned myself inside out and hoped someone would see".... anybody? Nope, didn't think so.
"Hey, this doesn't sound like Himsa".....
The cancer thing kinda hit me again today. It really sucks to think about it, I'm not in the mood to die. I know that sounds really really weird but I don't know how else to describe it. I just don't feel like dying. I know that's a good thing, but I feel all weak and gross every time I cry about it.
I also wish I could grow some balls and say the things I want to people. When it finally happens, and I can feel it coming, some of you will be happy, some of you will be mad and some of you will be crying. There is shit a long time coming about ready to burst out of my brain and into the world.
Some people give me a ridiculous amount of strength just from knowing they are alive. A conversation I had last week keeps ringing in my ears. "I have the world at my finger tips, don't worry about me". Well I DO worry about you. I know we are both severely underestimated and life really likes to bend us over and fuck us twice, but I love you, I'm here for you, we'll conquer this together. You make me want to live. (why do I write this, HE DOESN'T EVEN READ LJ!!!)
"I turned myself inside out and hoped someone would see".... anybody? Nope, didn't think so.