summer time, wow
So I've been home for over a week now and I have lots to say. But like usual, I forgot most of it. Heres my usual update: The class I needed was full. So who knows if Im going to take it or not now. And I got my old job back from State Farm. And they said they might give me about 20 hours a week, so thats good. And if I dont get the class I needed, Im going to look for another job and hopefully make lots of money this summer.
And onto one thing that is on my mind that isnt a huge deal, but its been bothering me since it happened, friday night or saturday morning. Basically we were sitting around Michelle's place just chilling and talking about the old days of St.Florian. And up came old crushes and dances. And of course a certain boy came up that apparently all of us had a crush on while in grade school. And no, its not Chris. And my good, shall I say best friends, now always remind me when this person comes up that they, and I quote "hated me" before. And the first time they told me I was in shock, cuz even though I wasnt best friends with them then, I NEVER hated them. And even though I have had ill feelings for people in the past (people in general), and I know people feel the same about me. I just never knew of situations like this. I feel like the enemy that was brought closer just so an eye can be kept on me at all times or something. "Keep your friends close, but your enemies even closer"? Well Im pretty damn close with these people.
I dont know. I usually dont care. Sure I cringe slightly each time this topic comes up and I try to steer clear of it as soon as I can. I generally dont like to talk about times people used to "have sleep overs and talk shit about me". And for some reason, this time, this night that this conversation took place, it hurt more then it ever had. Its a weird feeling to know that someone hated you and now 'loves you'. I guess its just that fear that they could possibly hate me again is there, and it scares me.
Im sorry if this entry was kinda off, I had no way of really putting it into words exactly. I did the best I could.
Ok, well Im going. My brother turned off the light. I guess thats a que that I should be leaving his room so he could sleep. Meh.
And onto one thing that is on my mind that isnt a huge deal, but its been bothering me since it happened, friday night or saturday morning. Basically we were sitting around Michelle's place just chilling and talking about the old days of St.Florian. And up came old crushes and dances. And of course a certain boy came up that apparently all of us had a crush on while in grade school. And no, its not Chris. And my good, shall I say best friends, now always remind me when this person comes up that they, and I quote "hated me" before. And the first time they told me I was in shock, cuz even though I wasnt best friends with them then, I NEVER hated them. And even though I have had ill feelings for people in the past (people in general), and I know people feel the same about me. I just never knew of situations like this. I feel like the enemy that was brought closer just so an eye can be kept on me at all times or something. "Keep your friends close, but your enemies even closer"? Well Im pretty damn close with these people.
I dont know. I usually dont care. Sure I cringe slightly each time this topic comes up and I try to steer clear of it as soon as I can. I generally dont like to talk about times people used to "have sleep overs and talk shit about me". And for some reason, this time, this night that this conversation took place, it hurt more then it ever had. Its a weird feeling to know that someone hated you and now 'loves you'. I guess its just that fear that they could possibly hate me again is there, and it scares me.
Im sorry if this entry was kinda off, I had no way of really putting it into words exactly. I did the best I could.
Ok, well Im going. My brother turned off the light. I guess thats a que that I should be leaving his room so he could sleep. Meh.