I dont know

[kitty_kat07]

I really just dont know what to do anymore. I completely give up almost which scares me. I love him more then life itself, yet everytime I talk to him I just piss him off more. I want to give him space, but I also dont want him to break up with me. Everything was wonderful. He actually loved me and wanted me to go to the gathering more then anything. Now he doesnt give a shit. The whole reason I wanted to go was so I could be with him. I fucking quit... Why is it even worth it anymore? I had everything I had ever wanted. Yet Ive lost it all. I know what I did was wrong and I should never do it. I was just so pissed at him and I wanted to get back at him for making me feel like shit. He just doesnt understand.

If he acutally knew how much he was hurting me he would know.... The only time I had ever trusted and loved someone in my life and promised myself to was when I met him. Yet now he is breaking every promise he had ever made me. Its like he does have someone else yet he doesnt want to tell me. I just want to kick the shit out of him so he can feel the pain Im feeling right now. Im such an idoit. This I know. Fuck it tho. Im never going to look at another guy or even touch one until the day I die. I promised myself to him and I will never ever break that promise again because its not worth it.

I quit tho. Maybe someone will be nice and come and kill me and put me out of my misery. Ya know.