I don't even know myself.
It's been over a year since I've posted. I'm back to where I was a year ago, minus the fact that I'm not in college. I'm still pining after the same girl, even though I don't want to be. It's all I think about, it has become unhealthy, but the things she said leads me to believe there's something more than her just deciding to stop talking to me.
I know I shouldn't have sent her the text message trying to fix everything, but I couldn't help myself because her email to me, with her phone number in it, was so genuinely sweet. It's funny because we're very much opposites in almost every way, but the connection we had was so intensely strong it was ridiculous. It was strong enough that on New Years Eve I was in New York City with my recent ex and I could not stop thinking about her. I just drank myself silly, then got upset by a comment my girlfriend, at the time made, and threw up, haha...great job me. Anyway, when I started talking to her, I found out she was at a Broadway play in NYC and she was with her, at the time and maybe current, girlfriend. We were literally about seven blocks from each other; that's the closest we've ever been. Sad, this I know, but I guess you'd have to be in the twisted relationship to understand how we made it work for three years. I was also younger and there was no way my parent's would have let me fly al the way to Ontario to be with my lesbian lover haha.
Basically I don't know how to talk to her. Seriously Confused.
I know I shouldn't have sent her the text message trying to fix everything, but I couldn't help myself because her email to me, with her phone number in it, was so genuinely sweet. It's funny because we're very much opposites in almost every way, but the connection we had was so intensely strong it was ridiculous. It was strong enough that on New Years Eve I was in New York City with my recent ex and I could not stop thinking about her. I just drank myself silly, then got upset by a comment my girlfriend, at the time made, and threw up, haha...great job me. Anyway, when I started talking to her, I found out she was at a Broadway play in NYC and she was with her, at the time and maybe current, girlfriend. We were literally about seven blocks from each other; that's the closest we've ever been. Sad, this I know, but I guess you'd have to be in the twisted relationship to understand how we made it work for three years. I was also younger and there was no way my parent's would have let me fly al the way to Ontario to be with my lesbian lover haha.
Basically I don't know how to talk to her. Seriously Confused.