change
So this part is a response to Julia's last post, but I think everyone should see it.
I'm sorry. I agree, a lot of shit has happened to me lately, but I have come to realize that the world most ertainly doesn't revolve around me. I could be homeless, or an amputee, and easily dead. I don't know if things get better just yet, but why not stick it out and see? Its when people talk about how they want to die because everything is so horrible that pisses me off. I go to NSAA down in Tempe and every day on my way home I see homeless people on the side of the road and try to give them food or water and they haven't given up. People we know, I'm assuming which I probably shouldn't, all have decent houses and clothes on their back and that in itself is something that makes us more fortunate than 3/4 of the world that lives in poverty. People who complain about not getting new clothes every month or the new Chanel purse because the fake one isn't good enough need to grow up. If you're working hard for your money and things are going wrong, it is a bump in the road, money can always be earned, but friend and sometimes family are not replacable and it took me a while to figure this out. I remember that show A walk In Your Shoes and right now with people complaining so much I think it would be helpful for them to do that with battered women in shelters or homeless people that have to cram into safe houses just to keep safe. Humans can only be humans though, we are vain, we are apathetic, and we are miniscule in the scale of the world; when we truly are grown up I think we'll be six feet under. That's just my $.02
My actual entry:
I have changed so much as a person in the past year, my Junior year of high school has made me so much more understanding and capable. I lost many friends and learned what it is like to be completely self sufficient. I've watched myself change. I have grown so much and found an amazing life that I already have, but I grew to appreciate it. I love it even though sometimes I get depressed and say I am nothing I know in the back of my head that I am something. I am amazing, as cocky as that sounds it's true, I have come to love myself. I have been freed from my shackles and though the depression and old hurt is there it has helped me learn. I have learned so much about life in general this year.
I have made some of the best friends in my entire life this year. After looking back at Live Journal posts I see what everyone has been up to, and for the most part I am happy to see how grown up most of you have become. Kaylee is my best friend in the entire world, no lie, she has helped me through so much and with only one fight, which bought us a lot closer together, I appreciate her so much. She has taught me how to forgive, how fighting is not worth anything. I have learned how to be a real friend and not compete over stupid things because friendship is not about competition, friendship is about a mutual love for each other and acceptance. I have learned that even though I have tried to keep in touch with my old friends, they have changed enough to not pay attention to me. I have learned that I was not being a friend by complaining about everyone else to a certain someone and even though the person doesn't feel the need to talk to me anymore, I have learned a lot from this person. Over all of the years we've known each other she is still teaching me life lessons. I have learned that being myself is all that I need and found the strength through Ashley to do so. I have learned to let go on my inhibitions and have fun; to just let go.
I have learned the value of hard work and independence. My work ethic has improved and so had my punctuality. I have learned to write better and enhanced my style. Though my writing can still be morbid, it is self expression and sometimes that darkness is the only way to see the light.
My friends are my silver lining on a cloudy day and I know everyone always says, "hey we need to hang out soon!" but I am being as sincere as possible in saying that I would love to hang out with you, some of my old friends, and some of my new. I promise to make time and the only thing someone has in life is their integrity- their word. The spoken word is powerful, meaningful, and passionate.
Honest to God, I love you all even if we don't talk anymore. Every single one of you has made an impact on my life, and I can still remember all of the good times and bad with every one of you. I hope you will remember too.
I'm sorry. I agree, a lot of shit has happened to me lately, but I have come to realize that the world most ertainly doesn't revolve around me. I could be homeless, or an amputee, and easily dead. I don't know if things get better just yet, but why not stick it out and see? Its when people talk about how they want to die because everything is so horrible that pisses me off. I go to NSAA down in Tempe and every day on my way home I see homeless people on the side of the road and try to give them food or water and they haven't given up. People we know, I'm assuming which I probably shouldn't, all have decent houses and clothes on their back and that in itself is something that makes us more fortunate than 3/4 of the world that lives in poverty. People who complain about not getting new clothes every month or the new Chanel purse because the fake one isn't good enough need to grow up. If you're working hard for your money and things are going wrong, it is a bump in the road, money can always be earned, but friend and sometimes family are not replacable and it took me a while to figure this out. I remember that show A walk In Your Shoes and right now with people complaining so much I think it would be helpful for them to do that with battered women in shelters or homeless people that have to cram into safe houses just to keep safe. Humans can only be humans though, we are vain, we are apathetic, and we are miniscule in the scale of the world; when we truly are grown up I think we'll be six feet under. That's just my $.02
My actual entry:
I have changed so much as a person in the past year, my Junior year of high school has made me so much more understanding and capable. I lost many friends and learned what it is like to be completely self sufficient. I've watched myself change. I have grown so much and found an amazing life that I already have, but I grew to appreciate it. I love it even though sometimes I get depressed and say I am nothing I know in the back of my head that I am something. I am amazing, as cocky as that sounds it's true, I have come to love myself. I have been freed from my shackles and though the depression and old hurt is there it has helped me learn. I have learned so much about life in general this year.
I have made some of the best friends in my entire life this year. After looking back at Live Journal posts I see what everyone has been up to, and for the most part I am happy to see how grown up most of you have become. Kaylee is my best friend in the entire world, no lie, she has helped me through so much and with only one fight, which bought us a lot closer together, I appreciate her so much. She has taught me how to forgive, how fighting is not worth anything. I have learned how to be a real friend and not compete over stupid things because friendship is not about competition, friendship is about a mutual love for each other and acceptance. I have learned that even though I have tried to keep in touch with my old friends, they have changed enough to not pay attention to me. I have learned that I was not being a friend by complaining about everyone else to a certain someone and even though the person doesn't feel the need to talk to me anymore, I have learned a lot from this person. Over all of the years we've known each other she is still teaching me life lessons. I have learned that being myself is all that I need and found the strength through Ashley to do so. I have learned to let go on my inhibitions and have fun; to just let go.
I have learned the value of hard work and independence. My work ethic has improved and so had my punctuality. I have learned to write better and enhanced my style. Though my writing can still be morbid, it is self expression and sometimes that darkness is the only way to see the light.
My friends are my silver lining on a cloudy day and I know everyone always says, "hey we need to hang out soon!" but I am being as sincere as possible in saying that I would love to hang out with you, some of my old friends, and some of my new. I promise to make time and the only thing someone has in life is their integrity- their word. The spoken word is powerful, meaningful, and passionate.
Honest to God, I love you all even if we don't talk anymore. Every single one of you has made an impact on my life, and I can still remember all of the good times and bad with every one of you. I hope you will remember too.