the story of us...
you know....we havent even been dating for a month yet...may 16 will be it though....and i try so hard not too tell him i love you all the time, but. i dont know the last rtging i want to do is seem like, im trying too move really fast, and end up hurting the relationship...but i mean he is so special. when i got this knee injury i never thought i was going too be able too be on a ddr machine again...last week i was up there, and i was fine...than we all went swimming...something i also thought was going too be difficult for my leg, turned out too be as easy as...well as it was before the injury...a few weeks ago i was really scared about trusting chris...for a thousand reasons...a few weeks ago i had been lied too, and i didnt know who the hell i could trust. i got so lost and turned around, i held a lot of shit back a few weeks ago from everyone, and i didnt know who too turn too...i was a complete bitch too chris too, he kept trying too put a smile on ym face by saying funny stuff and i just snapped at him so bad, i was waiting for him too just reply with a "fuck you bitch" commenyt or something along those lines, but he wasnt liek that at all. it sucks, i compare all my past relationships to my new ones, and it scares the hell out of me...i even do that with friendships, but...anyways off of that. i dont know, but i discovered that people CAN be trusted...and i do trust chris. i wasnt all that trusting of him in the beginning, because i was scared...but, he got me on my feet again. he got me back to doing what i live...i can live normal again because of him. i can honestly trusly say that chris has saved me...let me begin...
~after a few relationships of growing really close to people and breaking up with them...in my case my heart kind of...well...died too be honest...it died, burned in the fire of hell and the ashes were blown away into the damn wind. thats what it fewlt like...i was so empty...after i broke up with nick, i tried going back too him so bad because i felt like i had lost my heart...when i lost nick, i felt like my heart had litterally been swept away...i met chris during the middle of nick's and my relationship...i remember the first time i saw him...obviously through ddr, iwas playing and i asked him if he wanted too dance with me...he said yes...i remember i had seen joel and anthony dance before i saw chris dance...i thought they were awesome, when i saw chris dance, it was like seeing moses part the water...there was soemthing about the way he moved, how he focused so intently, how determined he suddenly became...it just, amazed me...obviously a crush had formed, and i couldnt take my eyes off of him, i remember telling jess "oh my god, he is wicked hot". and i remember staying there a little bit later than him, and everytime he wasnt looking, id always stop too look at him...i slept over jess' house that night, falling asleep with chris on my mind, let alone feelings in my heart for him while iwas still with nick...later on around valentines day, i saw him passing out candy too all his friends, he was kicked out of the mall by this time, but i was finishing up a game when i saw him, i felt my heart freeze...i saw him before he saw me, and when he did see me he simply smiled and waved, i think it took me as much effort too wave and smile as it was too stand...so i finished up the game, and i went out and talked with him, he told me the story of what he had done, to get kicked out...than he gave me this red heart box of candy...i was touched. later on, that night he had mentioned something about having a crush on me...i just had too tell him. "well thats funny, because i still have a crush on you"...ill never forget the face he made...so needless too say we got really clopse, and around the time of march, i remember sitting in my car with him...true came on and he looked at me and sang the whole song too me...it meant so much too me, i was wicked nervous at one poiint and my fingers were tapping or something...he just reached over and held my hand. i gasped, slightly and i felt my heart stop...i drove him back too the mall, and i gave him my number and i said "if you mean everything...call me". he said "o.k"...i had a lot of doubts it was just too good too be true you know? but than he kissed me before he left...that provided a little reassurance, and it just completly made more emotions rush over me...needless too say he did call, and through time i met his family, i fell inlove with them all instantly...molly was really special she was and still is like a daughter too me...i ended up breaking up with nick, for the second time, than broke up wiuth chris too try and get back with nick...that didnt work...i was crushed...that was the point in time where i felt like i had lost not only my heart but my soul too...chris and i ended up getting back together, but than we broke up a second time...i felt like the bigest fuck up in the world...i knew that i cared about him, and i just couldnt understand why i was letting him go again...and it was right after he had broken up with shauna, so he would be with me...i saw chris on occasions after that, and everytime i saw him, my heart stopped, and i felt liek i was falling inlove all over again...i never believed it though, ebacuse i didnt think it was possible...than i saw him one day after school, when he had a half day...i remember i ran over too him, jumped in his armns and he spun me around...and i remember running too him, and doing it again because it felt so good being in his armss....we went to stop and shop because i had too get my paycheck, and than i dropped emma off...than i brought chris back home...he gave me a card...it said "i miss you", on the front on the inside it said "i miss us"...i still have that card right in my car! its kinda...sacred almost...i guess...i went back too emma's house after that and i talked with her telling her that i missed chris...and i might go back out with him...chris and i went back out on april 16...officially, i guess you could say...it seemed like it was longer but that was the day...
~i adore chris so much. words cant even describe...i was acred but...he's brought me back too life, i have a heart and soul again because of chris...he's made me feel like i have been born again...i really honestly truly dont know what id do without him...i get scared pretty easily when it cxomes too losing people...im not afraid of losing chris...he's so faithful, so honest and...i feel right when he's around...i feel more than happy, beyond ecstatic...everytime i see him, my heart stops for a mintue or two, when he touches me i stop breathing for a second...when he kisses me, its so hard not too just hold him so tight...because i never want too let go. chris means everything and than some too me, maybe i am moving too fast i dont know...
i...i caant help it if im moving too fast...it seriously felt like i was paralyzed and i would never walk again...i felt like id never be able too do anything again...well, he got me there...i swear too god, i will always love you christopher. not just because you got me on my feet again, bt becauyse you make me feel loved, and your so damn special....
~after a few relationships of growing really close to people and breaking up with them...in my case my heart kind of...well...died too be honest...it died, burned in the fire of hell and the ashes were blown away into the damn wind. thats what it fewlt like...i was so empty...after i broke up with nick, i tried going back too him so bad because i felt like i had lost my heart...when i lost nick, i felt like my heart had litterally been swept away...i met chris during the middle of nick's and my relationship...i remember the first time i saw him...obviously through ddr, iwas playing and i asked him if he wanted too dance with me...he said yes...i remember i had seen joel and anthony dance before i saw chris dance...i thought they were awesome, when i saw chris dance, it was like seeing moses part the water...there was soemthing about the way he moved, how he focused so intently, how determined he suddenly became...it just, amazed me...obviously a crush had formed, and i couldnt take my eyes off of him, i remember telling jess "oh my god, he is wicked hot". and i remember staying there a little bit later than him, and everytime he wasnt looking, id always stop too look at him...i slept over jess' house that night, falling asleep with chris on my mind, let alone feelings in my heart for him while iwas still with nick...later on around valentines day, i saw him passing out candy too all his friends, he was kicked out of the mall by this time, but i was finishing up a game when i saw him, i felt my heart freeze...i saw him before he saw me, and when he did see me he simply smiled and waved, i think it took me as much effort too wave and smile as it was too stand...so i finished up the game, and i went out and talked with him, he told me the story of what he had done, to get kicked out...than he gave me this red heart box of candy...i was touched. later on, that night he had mentioned something about having a crush on me...i just had too tell him. "well thats funny, because i still have a crush on you"...ill never forget the face he made...so needless too say we got really clopse, and around the time of march, i remember sitting in my car with him...true came on and he looked at me and sang the whole song too me...it meant so much too me, i was wicked nervous at one poiint and my fingers were tapping or something...he just reached over and held my hand. i gasped, slightly and i felt my heart stop...i drove him back too the mall, and i gave him my number and i said "if you mean everything...call me". he said "o.k"...i had a lot of doubts it was just too good too be true you know? but than he kissed me before he left...that provided a little reassurance, and it just completly made more emotions rush over me...needless too say he did call, and through time i met his family, i fell inlove with them all instantly...molly was really special she was and still is like a daughter too me...i ended up breaking up with nick, for the second time, than broke up wiuth chris too try and get back with nick...that didnt work...i was crushed...that was the point in time where i felt like i had lost not only my heart but my soul too...chris and i ended up getting back together, but than we broke up a second time...i felt like the bigest fuck up in the world...i knew that i cared about him, and i just couldnt understand why i was letting him go again...and it was right after he had broken up with shauna, so he would be with me...i saw chris on occasions after that, and everytime i saw him, my heart stopped, and i felt liek i was falling inlove all over again...i never believed it though, ebacuse i didnt think it was possible...than i saw him one day after school, when he had a half day...i remember i ran over too him, jumped in his armns and he spun me around...and i remember running too him, and doing it again because it felt so good being in his armss....we went to stop and shop because i had too get my paycheck, and than i dropped emma off...than i brought chris back home...he gave me a card...it said "i miss you", on the front on the inside it said "i miss us"...i still have that card right in my car! its kinda...sacred almost...i guess...i went back too emma's house after that and i talked with her telling her that i missed chris...and i might go back out with him...chris and i went back out on april 16...officially, i guess you could say...it seemed like it was longer but that was the day...
~i adore chris so much. words cant even describe...i was acred but...he's brought me back too life, i have a heart and soul again because of chris...he's made me feel like i have been born again...i really honestly truly dont know what id do without him...i get scared pretty easily when it cxomes too losing people...im not afraid of losing chris...he's so faithful, so honest and...i feel right when he's around...i feel more than happy, beyond ecstatic...everytime i see him, my heart stops for a mintue or two, when he touches me i stop breathing for a second...when he kisses me, its so hard not too just hold him so tight...because i never want too let go. chris means everything and than some too me, maybe i am moving too fast i dont know...
i...i caant help it if im moving too fast...it seriously felt like i was paralyzed and i would never walk again...i felt like id never be able too do anything again...well, he got me there...i swear too god, i will always love you christopher. not just because you got me on my feet again, bt becauyse you make me feel loved, and your so damn special....