Health update and blargh.
In June my hands started hurting and they were all stiff in the morning - it was actually hard to grasp things. I had to wrap the dog's leash around my hand a bunch of times on her morning walks because I couldn't trust my hands to close properly and grip it tightly enough. It was weird and it didn't let up after a couple weeks so I went to the doc. They were afraid it could be lupus or rheumatoid arthritis so it was off for bloodwork I went. Bloodwork came back a little weird, so it was off to a specialist I went. Blah. Since then the pain got worse and spread out, accompanied with this awful tiredness. I've had this happen before and went through xrays and MRIs and physical therapy to no avail. I missed a lot of work back then and was in a really bad place. I was really scared it'd repeat all over with those same symptoms starting to surface again. Zack was kind enough to come with me to the specialist this morning - it was good to have moral support. Doctor's ordering a couple more blood tests to cover all his bases but he doesn't think it's lupus (whew!) he thinks it's fibromyalgia.
To me, as a layperson with very little medical knowledge fibromyalgia just seems to prove scientists and doctors really have no idea what's going on with our bodies. The way it's diagnosed - 1) doc runs bloodwork to rule out other things 2) doc pokes you in 18 different places and if 11 or more of those places hurt when prodded it's fibromyalgia. WHAT? (Actually only 9 hurt for me, so technically I don't qualify by the book, but he's treating it as such anyway).
I guess the explanation he gave after made a little more sense. The doctor told me the pain is a misfire in the brain due to chemical imbalances (the same chemicals that cause anxiety and depression, which I also struggle with). The pain is actually meaningless - nothing is really getting damaged in my body, I just feel all the pain I would if something really were happening. Also there are sleep problems which go along with it, which I definitely have and have had for pretty much my entire adult life.
I'm relieved there's nothing terrible going on in my body. Simultaneously annoyed the answer seems so vague. I got a prescription that is supposed to work for fibromyalgia and I suppose that will be the proof I need to feel better - if it works for me I can be pretty confident I'm on the mend and know what is going on with my brain and body. I'm going to wait to start it til Monday because Zack is away until then and it's supposed to have some pretty nasty side effects like drowsiness and dizziness when you start out. I don't want to miss work because my alarm didn't wake me or feel dizzy and panic because I'm alone.
I feel like I should be more relieved and relaxed, but I just feel mopey and annoyed instead. I want to cry and I think it's stupid to cry at the same time which makes me want to cry more! I wish Zack weren't gone, but I also know there's really nothing he could do to fix anything or make me feel better and I can still call him on the phone if I need to talk. I'm all irrational and grumpy and tired, and the only solution I can think of right now is to go lose myself in a book or a game. So I'm gonna go do that.
To me, as a layperson with very little medical knowledge fibromyalgia just seems to prove scientists and doctors really have no idea what's going on with our bodies. The way it's diagnosed - 1) doc runs bloodwork to rule out other things 2) doc pokes you in 18 different places and if 11 or more of those places hurt when prodded it's fibromyalgia. WHAT? (Actually only 9 hurt for me, so technically I don't qualify by the book, but he's treating it as such anyway).
I guess the explanation he gave after made a little more sense. The doctor told me the pain is a misfire in the brain due to chemical imbalances (the same chemicals that cause anxiety and depression, which I also struggle with). The pain is actually meaningless - nothing is really getting damaged in my body, I just feel all the pain I would if something really were happening. Also there are sleep problems which go along with it, which I definitely have and have had for pretty much my entire adult life.
I'm relieved there's nothing terrible going on in my body. Simultaneously annoyed the answer seems so vague. I got a prescription that is supposed to work for fibromyalgia and I suppose that will be the proof I need to feel better - if it works for me I can be pretty confident I'm on the mend and know what is going on with my brain and body. I'm going to wait to start it til Monday because Zack is away until then and it's supposed to have some pretty nasty side effects like drowsiness and dizziness when you start out. I don't want to miss work because my alarm didn't wake me or feel dizzy and panic because I'm alone.
I feel like I should be more relieved and relaxed, but I just feel mopey and annoyed instead. I want to cry and I think it's stupid to cry at the same time which makes me want to cry more! I wish Zack weren't gone, but I also know there's really nothing he could do to fix anything or make me feel better and I can still call him on the phone if I need to talk. I'm all irrational and grumpy and tired, and the only solution I can think of right now is to go lose myself in a book or a game. So I'm gonna go do that.