godamn, i forgot about this & how it really helped me :-[
Well, wow LIFE! Life is very different right now! I am working full-time at this resturaunt called "Romano's Macaroni Grill" & I also help my dad out with his construction business part-time. I met this really kickass kid like 4 months ago. His name is Nicholas & he is a United States Marine >:o! I always liked the whole military boy but not right now. He is in California training for probably 2 more weeks then he's off to IRAQ! I am very dissapointed because i really enjoyed his company while he was here with me. He is just as silly & goofy as me. We are on the same level, plus he's sexy as hell in & out of his uniform! I text message him back and forth every few days & talk to him on the phone once or twice a week. He is real busy & i give him so much credit but when he leaves for Iraq i dont know how often i will be able to chat with him & that really scares me. He's been gone for about a month & a half training & i am at that age where i can kind of distance my depression. When i was younger i got in a lot of deep depressions but now usually my sadness never reaches the point to where its a depression. But for some reason i feel like Nicholas is the only person that gets me.
There was this kid Matthew at my work that ive been hanging out with on a daily basis. He is a chef at my work. I give him mad credit because he needs to be very involved with his job & he has worked his way up to head chef with the little time he has been there. Right off the bat he wanted to be my boyfriend but i told him time & time again I'd rather have a friendship. He was very determined to let me give him a chance. But ive been hurt very bad by a past boyfriend that i dated for 2 years of my life & i think the main reason it turned to shit was because of the fact that we were never friends. We just dated right away before knowing anything about eachother. Matty is a very nice guy when you first meet him. He has a lot going on his personal/family life that kind of makes him act like a dickhead. He isnt a social butterfly, like i think of myself to be. He isnt very conversational either. He just isnt my type at all! I told him we are just friends. So we (Matty & I) go to this party the past weekend, & i end up seeing a guy that i have crushed since i met him. His name is Vinny. He is so my type (Outgoing, Hilarious, Skater, Gorgeous) Ive wanted to hook up with him since i met him but it was always awkward situations where too many people were around. So Vinny & i & a few other people needed beer. So i asked Vinny if i could go for the ride to get beer with him & he thought it was a gr8 idea. We got back & Matty doesnt really care that i went with another guy to get beer. I cant say he shouldnt be jealous because honestly he likes me a lot more than i like him. So many people tell me he likes me a lot. I'm just not feeling him. Vinny & I are out front on the porch talking to some of his friends about random things like the war, movies that are out, ect. Vinny asks me if i want to go out back with him. Before this happened i was talking to my friend Colleen & she totally thought it was a good idea to do it. I work with Colleen.... But i'll get back to that. Vinny & I go out back on the deck & start kissing. Matty sees us & he flips out on me. He runs out front, gets in his explorer & does a burn out down the entire street. Then he comes back & i'm like oh great! He gets out of his truck & starts cursing me out calling me names like Whore, Slut, Bitch! Whatever. I flip out because first off, He isnt my boyfriend so i can do whatever i want. I gave the kid 2 months to show me himself & i'm sorry it sounds stuck up but i just wasnt feeling him. It's not like i led him on. I told him time & time again look we are just friends & if you want to hook up then thats cool with me because kissing isnt anything sexual between friends really. So after hearing all these names from a kid that supposively told me "I like you so much" "You're the only person i care about" Dude.. I flipped. I wanted to punch him but instead like a immature baby i punched him car window. I bruised the fuck outta my hand. So i go into work today & people are talking shit. Saying i kicked him in his nutsack & punched him in the face. GIVE ME A BREAK BISH! I'm not 12 i dont kick nuts & people were holding me back from punching him in the face so what the fuck are you talking about. He is spreading rumors so people feel bad about him. Fuck that! I know it was a bitchy thing to hook up with someone else while he was there but oh well shit happens & we arent dating. I just dont like the fact that he talked all that shit & now hes acting like i'm the only bad guy. He wont appoligize for calling me names. Whatever, It really pisses me off. I like Vinny & now i probably have no chance because he witnessed that entire thing & probably thinks matt was my boyfriend because of the way he flipped his shit! I hate this bullshit Immaturity. Oh well.. I needed to get that off my chest because its pissing me off! I can't even tell anyone at work because you know what, its not even worth it! I'll let Matty get everyone on his side! 8-) I'll be the devil!!!!!
Besides Bullshit in my life.. I saw Incubus in Concert On Tuesday! It was fucking awesome! I love brandon with a passion! He is so sexy! The show was great. I'm glad Ryan talked me into going. I went to a concert without a shower though lol. My water heater broke tuesday afternoon. So i didnt shower before the concert. But me, ryan and like 10 of his friends all took the subway down to the show so i guess its cool cuz that is a dirty ass place! We met some cool ass chicks on the subway! They were shroomin'! I was like damn i'm so glad i dont fuck with drugs anymore because they looked so foolish but i cant be a hypocrite! Ive been working a lot & going down the races a lot! I need to meet some new people! I think i'm going to start going to shows again. I always meet at least 1 cool person everytime i go! South Street is having free shows every Tuesday & Penns Landing is having free shows every Wednesday! Next Wednesday the "Yeah Yeah Yeahs" are going to be there. So i may check it out. I'm going to a rave at this Club called "SHAMPOO" on Sunday! DJ Irene is going to be there! I'm definitley checking that out! I'm in love with Incubus's new cd. Its nice. I need to buy some cd's! OH damn the new Beastie Boy's Cd tops everything out right now! I must go to bed .. but now that my life has slowed down a bit & i'm not hanging out with some of the partyhardeverynight animals i will update this on a more day to day instead of month to month basis lol! I dont know if anyone even reads this anymore. I need to invest some time in reading journals & find some friends. Later kidz!
There was this kid Matthew at my work that ive been hanging out with on a daily basis. He is a chef at my work. I give him mad credit because he needs to be very involved with his job & he has worked his way up to head chef with the little time he has been there. Right off the bat he wanted to be my boyfriend but i told him time & time again I'd rather have a friendship. He was very determined to let me give him a chance. But ive been hurt very bad by a past boyfriend that i dated for 2 years of my life & i think the main reason it turned to shit was because of the fact that we were never friends. We just dated right away before knowing anything about eachother. Matty is a very nice guy when you first meet him. He has a lot going on his personal/family life that kind of makes him act like a dickhead. He isnt a social butterfly, like i think of myself to be. He isnt very conversational either. He just isnt my type at all! I told him we are just friends. So we (Matty & I) go to this party the past weekend, & i end up seeing a guy that i have crushed since i met him. His name is Vinny. He is so my type (Outgoing, Hilarious, Skater, Gorgeous) Ive wanted to hook up with him since i met him but it was always awkward situations where too many people were around. So Vinny & i & a few other people needed beer. So i asked Vinny if i could go for the ride to get beer with him & he thought it was a gr8 idea. We got back & Matty doesnt really care that i went with another guy to get beer. I cant say he shouldnt be jealous because honestly he likes me a lot more than i like him. So many people tell me he likes me a lot. I'm just not feeling him. Vinny & I are out front on the porch talking to some of his friends about random things like the war, movies that are out, ect. Vinny asks me if i want to go out back with him. Before this happened i was talking to my friend Colleen & she totally thought it was a good idea to do it. I work with Colleen.... But i'll get back to that. Vinny & I go out back on the deck & start kissing. Matty sees us & he flips out on me. He runs out front, gets in his explorer & does a burn out down the entire street. Then he comes back & i'm like oh great! He gets out of his truck & starts cursing me out calling me names like Whore, Slut, Bitch! Whatever. I flip out because first off, He isnt my boyfriend so i can do whatever i want. I gave the kid 2 months to show me himself & i'm sorry it sounds stuck up but i just wasnt feeling him. It's not like i led him on. I told him time & time again look we are just friends & if you want to hook up then thats cool with me because kissing isnt anything sexual between friends really. So after hearing all these names from a kid that supposively told me "I like you so much" "You're the only person i care about" Dude.. I flipped. I wanted to punch him but instead like a immature baby i punched him car window. I bruised the fuck outta my hand. So i go into work today & people are talking shit. Saying i kicked him in his nutsack & punched him in the face. GIVE ME A BREAK BISH! I'm not 12 i dont kick nuts & people were holding me back from punching him in the face so what the fuck are you talking about. He is spreading rumors so people feel bad about him. Fuck that! I know it was a bitchy thing to hook up with someone else while he was there but oh well shit happens & we arent dating. I just dont like the fact that he talked all that shit & now hes acting like i'm the only bad guy. He wont appoligize for calling me names. Whatever, It really pisses me off. I like Vinny & now i probably have no chance because he witnessed that entire thing & probably thinks matt was my boyfriend because of the way he flipped his shit! I hate this bullshit Immaturity. Oh well.. I needed to get that off my chest because its pissing me off! I can't even tell anyone at work because you know what, its not even worth it! I'll let Matty get everyone on his side! 8-) I'll be the devil!!!!!
Besides Bullshit in my life.. I saw Incubus in Concert On Tuesday! It was fucking awesome! I love brandon with a passion! He is so sexy! The show was great. I'm glad Ryan talked me into going. I went to a concert without a shower though lol. My water heater broke tuesday afternoon. So i didnt shower before the concert. But me, ryan and like 10 of his friends all took the subway down to the show so i guess its cool cuz that is a dirty ass place! We met some cool ass chicks on the subway! They were shroomin'! I was like damn i'm so glad i dont fuck with drugs anymore because they looked so foolish but i cant be a hypocrite! Ive been working a lot & going down the races a lot! I need to meet some new people! I think i'm going to start going to shows again. I always meet at least 1 cool person everytime i go! South Street is having free shows every Tuesday & Penns Landing is having free shows every Wednesday! Next Wednesday the "Yeah Yeah Yeahs" are going to be there. So i may check it out. I'm going to a rave at this Club called "SHAMPOO" on Sunday! DJ Irene is going to be there! I'm definitley checking that out! I'm in love with Incubus's new cd. Its nice. I need to buy some cd's! OH damn the new Beastie Boy's Cd tops everything out right now! I must go to bed .. but now that my life has slowed down a bit & i'm not hanging out with some of the partyhardeverynight animals i will update this on a more day to day instead of month to month basis lol! I dont know if anyone even reads this anymore. I need to invest some time in reading journals & find some friends. Later kidz!