Crap...really
It was way too hot today to do anything except languish by the pool. We do not have a pool, so we therefore did not languish.
Instead we celebrated the heat by going all over the place looking at furniture and trying to get ideas. Ideas are great and all, but I still cannot make up my mind what to get. Not helpful to be picky and not a millionaire. I suppose we'll figure something out or everyone will be sitting on bean bags and dining off TV trays when they visit.
So yesterday I went to visit the family, Mom in particular, to give her her Mother's Day gift. Now, as most people know, I have the bladder capacity of a gerbil. I really had to pee when I got into town so I went to Target to use the bathroom before I got downtown. I am in the stall right by the 'baby changing station.' (Baby changing? Can you change it into something I'd want, like a sack of cash?)
So...there I am doing what I went there to do when this woman comes in with her kid. She's jabbering about changing him and saying "Coby stinkie" and other stupid things that made me want to remove her head with a hatchet. She puts her kid onto the fold-down changing table, which he is too big for as his legs are sticking off the thing, and removes his 'stinkie' "big kid diapers," the kind you see on TV being worn by kids too big for regular diapers but whose parents are too lazy to properly housebreak.
She thoughtfully plops down the fully loaded diapers in front of my stall so I could enjoy the recycled garbage processed by her kid. This was so horrifying that I had to bury my nose in my shirt. Clearly they feed this kid roadkill and cat food. !!!! So at this point the kid, who has been making this annoying nonsense noise the whole time, says something like "mommy go" and I see (through the crack of the door) his leg go up and a terrifying death-spray of kid feces shoot out of his ass and splat onto the floor (directly in front of my stall!) and hit the door of my stall and it even managed to get on the wall.
At this point I want to die/kill them both/escape. But I cannot get out without walking over/through the bucket-o-crap that is everywhere in front of my stall door. I am actually trapped behind a wall of shit. It was so incredibly offensive that for a moment I almost added vomit to the mix for fun. If I could have crawled over the wall of the stall next to me I would have.
I had to wait while she scrubbed the crap off the door/wall/floor and chirped "Oh, Coby baby" and other idiocies before I could get out. I have never been so horrified nor have I ever left a bathroom so fast. I wanted to rub her face in it.
So when people ask me if I want kids, or why don't I like them etc., I will bring up this story as just one tiny reason why I don't like or want kids. There are so many other reasons, but this is a great example.
Otherwise the rest of the day was uneventful and nice.
Instead we celebrated the heat by going all over the place looking at furniture and trying to get ideas. Ideas are great and all, but I still cannot make up my mind what to get. Not helpful to be picky and not a millionaire. I suppose we'll figure something out or everyone will be sitting on bean bags and dining off TV trays when they visit.
So yesterday I went to visit the family, Mom in particular, to give her her Mother's Day gift. Now, as most people know, I have the bladder capacity of a gerbil. I really had to pee when I got into town so I went to Target to use the bathroom before I got downtown. I am in the stall right by the 'baby changing station.' (Baby changing? Can you change it into something I'd want, like a sack of cash?)
So...there I am doing what I went there to do when this woman comes in with her kid. She's jabbering about changing him and saying "Coby stinkie" and other stupid things that made me want to remove her head with a hatchet. She puts her kid onto the fold-down changing table, which he is too big for as his legs are sticking off the thing, and removes his 'stinkie' "big kid diapers," the kind you see on TV being worn by kids too big for regular diapers but whose parents are too lazy to properly housebreak.
She thoughtfully plops down the fully loaded diapers in front of my stall so I could enjoy the recycled garbage processed by her kid. This was so horrifying that I had to bury my nose in my shirt. Clearly they feed this kid roadkill and cat food. !!!! So at this point the kid, who has been making this annoying nonsense noise the whole time, says something like "mommy go" and I see (through the crack of the door) his leg go up and a terrifying death-spray of kid feces shoot out of his ass and splat onto the floor (directly in front of my stall!) and hit the door of my stall and it even managed to get on the wall.
At this point I want to die/kill them both/escape. But I cannot get out without walking over/through the bucket-o-crap that is everywhere in front of my stall door. I am actually trapped behind a wall of shit. It was so incredibly offensive that for a moment I almost added vomit to the mix for fun. If I could have crawled over the wall of the stall next to me I would have.
I had to wait while she scrubbed the crap off the door/wall/floor and chirped "Oh, Coby baby" and other idiocies before I could get out. I have never been so horrified nor have I ever left a bathroom so fast. I wanted to rub her face in it.
So when people ask me if I want kids, or why don't I like them etc., I will bring up this story as just one tiny reason why I don't like or want kids. There are so many other reasons, but this is a great example.
Otherwise the rest of the day was uneventful and nice.