Drinking more than you've ever drank; Sinking down lower than you've ever sank
So my life is pretty shit right now.
Jonny cheated on me again when i really thought it was different this time; he was different.
Well, just like last time this happened i can feel myself going down that hole again of fucking depression and insanity. I just need someone to help me get over it but it just seems like i have no one. Yes i have my best friend but... i need a guy to hold me and just let me know someone actually does care about me and that there's nothing wrong with me and that Jonnys just a fuck up. That would make me feel better :)
But this guy that i always relied on to make me feel better when me and Jonny would fight before is out of the provincee and wont respond to me calls or texts and i just feel like im dying.
Like why fuck up everything for some slut that cheated on him 3 times already and they were only on the go for 3 months =S
We were suposed to move out together like this month, i knew we'd get married and we always talked about having little babys. Im not crazy talking about all this stuff but we were together for 6 years, its bound to come up.
I just can't believe he'd do this and throw it all away.
I believed him so much this time. I gave him everything and i put in more to this relationhip then i ever have before and then he broke my heart. He fucking broke my heart the worst its ever been broken and i honestly dont know what to do.
I want someone to hate.
I went crazy after that bitch because she fucking obviously knew we were together and she came back and tried to be with him again. Shes fucking nasty too like acney shit. Too bad we used to be super good friends untill she started going out with jonny and starting calling me shit to him behind my back because i still talked to him. Obviously id still talk to him we went out for fucking 6 years and we were best friends but i respected their relationship and wouldnt even hug him goodbye when he asked me too. But she'd still say shit about me.
Fucking slut next time i see her shes dead.
I know its more him than her but still, this would make me feel so much better. I cant just stand aside and let all this happen and not doing anything about it.
I hate feeling like this and i dont want to. I cry everynight; every fucking night for hours. I can never sleep. All i do is think about it and get sad and wonder if thet're together every minute like me and him used to be.
Every other time shit would happen he'd call and call and call and id ignore his calls. But this time... nothing. It makes me so sad to think that maybe he really doesnt want me back this time and he's found someone else. But i hate it cause he always loved me and even when he had girlfriends he'd still call me every now and again. This time nothing... I even texted him a million times :(
I guess this is really it
But what i just can't understand is whats wrong with me?
What does she have that i dont?
If i was to answer the question it would be Nothinggg. Im not being cocky or anything but its just i Am prettier than her, i Am way more fun than her like wtf
Its just all i think about everyday and i cant stand it.