Well, you're on the right track. Asking strangers for help can sometimes prove fruitful. You never know who might be a billionaire philanthropist just itching to find a cause. Unfortunately for you, I am no such entity. In fact, I was gonna ask you if I could borrow some money.
But, since you solicited my aid, here are my ideas for paying off your debt:
1. Win the lottery. This is a surefire method for overcoming debt. The only shortcoming I can see with this plan is that it never happens to people who actually need it. So, on second thought, don't bother.
2. Invent something. Ideas translate into cash in today's hurdy-gurdy technological world. Here's an idea for free (because I know you can't afoord to pay me for it anyway): An all-smoking airline. This would be a huge hit for two reasons:
a) you'd get to smoke, and
b) no goddamn annoying children. Kids can't smoke, hence, no kids on the flights. You could charge $500 for flights from San Francisco to L.A. and people would gladly pay it. So now all you've gotta do is scrounge up some venture capital. I'd suggest petitioning the tobacco companies.
3. Far be it from a nice boy like me to suggest it, but I think I read somewhere that sex sells. I even hear they've got websites dedicated to this loathsome activity that do quite a brisk business. But enough of that filth.
4. My admittedly limited understanding of the way our economy works is: if you have a job, employers are actually willing to pay you for your services. So all you have to do is look in the want ads for something that pays $100,000 a month and you'll have it paid off in no time (6 months).
Now, not to be an ass (too late, I suppose), but let me ask you something: you spent $90,000 on college? What did you major in, getting swindled? Maybe you'll shop around a bit more next time you go thinking you need an "education". I know of several schools that won't cost you a penny over $87,000.
Good luck!
i got a couple of degrees - most of the $90,000 paid for my law degree (which, at the time, seemed like a reasonable decision. little did i know that the market would crash, the bottom fall out of the economy and destroy the job market so not even lawyers can get a job)
and if i could find someone that was willing to pay big money for my booty, i'd be all over that too.
I'm not going to come right out and say it was the booty cooment that did it, because that would just be crass, but I hope you don't mind if I add you to my friends list. In fact, even if you do mind, guess what? I already did it! Mwahahaha! I'm a wild man! Don't try to hold me back.
P.S. It was the booty comment. Also, I'm always in the market for free legal advice. AND anybody with "schadenfreude" and Belle & Sebastian listed among their interests can't be all bad.
Two journals, eh? Well, it's apparent I've chosen another high-maintenance person (or is it people?) to add to my friends list. Ah well. You're in good company. And by "good", of course, I mean "egotistical". I kid you! OK, you're added. I trust you'll be amusing. In one of your journals, at least.
i made the second journal during a period of time when i needed to have someplace totally separate from my friends list 'cause people i know in real life that are also on livejournal were just being too stupid. i tried to just make private posts, but my ever present need for an audience simply wasn't satisfied. the terrible thing is that i have another journal too, somewhere else, but that is just a place i post fiction i write.
none of which, i suppose, makes me less egotistical. although i prefer narcissistic ... has more dramatic flair, don't you think?
as for being amusing: well, i can make no guarantees, but i'll certainly try.
But, since you solicited my aid, here are my ideas for paying off your debt:
1. Win the lottery. This is a surefire method for overcoming debt. The only shortcoming I can see with this plan is that it never happens to people who actually need it. So, on second thought, don't bother.
2. Invent something. Ideas translate into cash in today's hurdy-gurdy technological world. Here's an idea for free (because I know you can't afoord to pay me for it anyway): An all-smoking airline. This would be a huge hit for two reasons:
a) you'd get to smoke, and
b) no goddamn annoying children. Kids can't smoke, hence, no kids on the flights. You could charge $500 for flights from San Francisco to L.A. and people would gladly pay it. So now all you've gotta do is scrounge up some venture capital. I'd suggest petitioning the tobacco companies.
3. Far be it from a nice boy like me to suggest it, but I think I read somewhere that sex sells. I even hear they've got websites dedicated to this loathsome activity that do quite a brisk business. But enough of that filth.
4. My admittedly limited understanding of the way our economy works is: if you have a job, employers are actually willing to pay you for your services. So all you have to do is look in the want ads for something that pays $100,000 a month and you'll have it paid off in no time (6 months).
Now, not to be an ass (too late, I suppose), but let me ask you something: you spent $90,000 on college? What did you major in, getting swindled? Maybe you'll shop around a bit more next time you go thinking you need an "education". I know of several schools that won't cost you a penny over $87,000.
Good luck!
Reply
i got a couple of degrees - most of the $90,000 paid for my law degree (which, at the time, seemed like a reasonable decision. little did i know that the market would crash, the bottom fall out of the economy and destroy the job market so not even lawyers can get a job)
and if i could find someone that was willing to pay big money for my booty, i'd be all over that too.
Reply
P.S. It was the booty comment. Also, I'm always in the market for free legal advice. AND anybody with "schadenfreude" and Belle & Sebastian listed among their interests can't be all bad.
Reply
Reply
Reply
none of which, i suppose, makes me less egotistical. although i prefer narcissistic ... has more dramatic flair, don't you think?
as for being amusing: well, i can make no guarantees, but i'll certainly try.
Reply
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