Right feeling
Working with kids and reading about psychology in general, I have often come across the notion that "all feelings are ok to feel, but you can't always act on those feelings." This seems fine on the surface, but it clashes with ideas about emotions that people had one or two hundred years ago, or maybe even 70, 60, or 50 years ago.
In most of the novels that I have read, the concept of "right feeling" comes up. Basically, the idea is that simply behaving correctly (politely, tolerantly, generously) is not enough to have a character that is morally sound. Right actions came from right feelings. If your feelings were selfish or spiteful, that actually wasn't ok and you would need to sort of coach yourself cognitively into taking a different perspective and actually feeling differently.
Beat yourself up over your feelings is obviously not helpful, but I don't see anything wrong with striving to have more noble, or admirable feelings towards people, situations, etc. Not all feelings are ok. Some feelings are just mean and destructive. Some feelings are low, base, and unjust.
My own life and happiness has been greatly improved by elevating my emotions and achieving a better character.