Here's the thing about people who want to help.
They WANT to help. There's a trauma response that people pleasers (a legitimate survival strategy we learn as children) develop. The tendency to project our internal life onto the people around us, which is also a human instinct. We see the world through our own lens.
People pleasers that struggle to say "no" cannot help but feel like the people around them are only agreeing to help us because they have the same survival response as us and may be saying "yes" for the same motivations of really, really needing people to like us, be happy with us, and not because they absolutely want to do the thing, and just struggling to decline.
Sometimes this gets emotionally applied to people that are offering help because they see a need and want to be of service. The internal work of the people pleaser is to escape the urge to struggle through every challenge alone, with grit and independence. None of humanity's achievements were accomplished by one person alone. Everything is built on the progress and successes that preceded. And there's not one human alive that did get fed and their asses washed when they were tiny. We need one another.
Being of service is a gift looking to be given. It is show of love. It is a sign that there are helpers trying to make the world a better place. When you refuse the assistance you need when it is offered, the whole world is deprived of the good that would have been generated.
TL;DR: People do not offer to do things for you when they don't want to do them. It's not the same asking someone and them struggling to say no, which is usually projection anyway because the majority humans are good and want to see each other thrive.
People pleasers that struggle to say "no" cannot help but feel like the people around them are only agreeing to help us because they have the same survival response as us and may be saying "yes" for the same motivations of really, really needing people to like us, be happy with us, and not because they absolutely want to do the thing, and just struggling to decline.
Sometimes this gets emotionally applied to people that are offering help because they see a need and want to be of service. The internal work of the people pleaser is to escape the urge to struggle through every challenge alone, with grit and independence. None of humanity's achievements were accomplished by one person alone. Everything is built on the progress and successes that preceded. And there's not one human alive that did get fed and their asses washed when they were tiny. We need one another.
Being of service is a gift looking to be given. It is show of love. It is a sign that there are helpers trying to make the world a better place. When you refuse the assistance you need when it is offered, the whole world is deprived of the good that would have been generated.
TL;DR: People do not offer to do things for you when they don't want to do them. It's not the same asking someone and them struggling to say no, which is usually projection anyway because the majority humans are good and want to see each other thrive.