fic: The Game {Chapter 10}
Title: The Game - Chapter 10
Length: Chaptered
Author: M_K Yujji
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Drama
Pairing/Characters: MinHo; MinXrandomfemaleONS, past-JaeHo
Warnings: angst
Disclaimer: Though real people are used as characters, this fic bears no resemblance to Real Life and these people are not owned by me.
Comments/Notes: And finally, Changmin's P.O.V.~ You were all waiting for that, weren't you?
Prologue | Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 9
Summary: Youth is only an excuse for inexperience.
~*~*~*~
Changmin wasn't entirely sure what had woken him. He'd been warm enough and comfortable enough even if there'd been bony elbows pressed into his side where he was more accustomed to fingers in his hair and a solid chest under his cheek.
The sake-induced lethargy still clung stubbornly and he didn't really want to fight it, knowing from experience that a hang over of hellish proportions would be waiting for him when it cleared.
He suspected, though, that the loud screeching of high pitched Japanese and the angry snarling of Korean street slang - the kind only Jaejoong and Yunho really knew - meant that he wouldn't be getting back to sleep any time soon.
He'd hoped to avoid such a confrontation, hence the staying at home while the others had gone out, but he supposed he should have known better.
Jaejoong in particular had a sixth sense about when any of them were doing things they weren't supposed to do.... It was half the reason why they'd dubbed him the 'umma'.
“All right, all right, already...” He pushed himself up with an elbow, blinking in sleepy disbelief at the sight before him.
His eldest bandmate had the girl he'd brought home by the hair and was dragging her - kicking and screaming and crying - out the door, threats that made Changmin pale to hear being snarled at her. Jaejoong hadn't even let the poor girl get dressed, though she was clinging stubbornly to the sheet to protect her nudity.
Not exactly a gentleman by anyone's standards, Changmin still felt obligated to force his protesting body up out of the bed. He tottered unsteadily for a moment, pausing to get his balance and pull on some boxers, then he trotted after them. He passed Yoochun and Junsu on the way, but didn't really spare them much thought. “Jaejoong.... Dammit... Jaejoong. At least let her get dressed before you kick her out.”
Stopping for a moment, Jaejoong glared in his direction. “Go get her clothes, Shim Changmin, or I swear to God I will toss her out with nothing but this sheet.”
Changmin sighed and rolled his eyes before heading back in the direction he'd come from. When he returned, the woman's small dress and hose in his arms, Jaejoong was still standing there with a double fistful of hair, looking for all the world that he was just one step away from ripping the girl to shreds. If she could understand Korean, she already would be. “Jaejoong-“
But the eldest ignored him, letting go with one hand to open the door and practically hurling her out, sheet and all. Then he snatched the clothes from Changmin and tossed them out after her. He knelt down in front of the sobbing woman and spoke in very careful, deliberate Japanese. “If I ever see or hear of you again, you will regret that you were ever born, do you understand? You are going to leave and pretend that last night and this morning never even happened or I will make you very, very sorry.”
“Jaejoong-“
A finger was jabbed in his direction. “You. Shut the fuck up.” Then Jae turned back to the girl. “Do you understand?”
She nodded frantically, trying desperately to push herself as far against the other wall as she could manage, clearly terrified of the demon that had possessed the singer.
For himself, Changmin sighed and rubbed his eyes. So it hadn't been the brightest idea, but she was a minor celebrity herself, it wasn't like she was going to go to the press. The indiscretion surely wasn't worth the gangster-style scene Jaejoong was making.
The door was slammed shut and he opened his mouth to speak again, to try to talk some kind of reasonable sense into the madman who was posing as his hyung.
Before he could even open his eyes, though, pain blossomed through his face, the metallic taste of blood filling his mouth. “What the-“
But Jaejoong had only just started. The rain of blows and kicks were vicious in a way that he'd never seen the other man attack anyone and though he'd always known Jaejoong could be a dirty fighter, he'd never even imagined seeing the tendency turned on himself.
Changmin might have feared for his life if Junsu and Yoochun hadn't appeared to pull the enraged man off of him. He rolled to the side, curling up and waiting for the worst of the pain to subside. It wasn't the first time he'd been beaten up - just the first time his attacker had been someone he cared about.
“Where is he? What the fuck did you think you were doing Changmin? Answer me! Where is he?!”
He blinked, wincing as he did so and settled for squinting up at the contorted features of his long-time friend just barely restrained from attacking him again. “What? Where is...” He had to pause to spit out a mouthful of blood. Absent-mindedly, he hoped Jaejoong hadn't broken any of his teeth. “Where is who?”
“Yunho, you fucking piece of shit. Where is Yunho?”
How did they honestly expect him to know when he'd been here and they'd been elsewhere?
Worry simply added to his confusion and he gestured towards the other three. “With you... he was with you....”
Jaejoong's jaw clenched so hard Changmin could hear the grinding of teeth. He could almost see the mental count of ten but even then, all Jaejoong did was shake his head, anger too strong to speak through.
“Changmin... Yunho left - came back last night to bring you back - er.. Up there... with us,” Junsu said cautiously.
Forcing himself to sit up, Changmin winced and pressed his fingers against his nose. Broken, he thought. It had to be. Everyone from the manager to the stylists were going to be pissed off when they saw him, but none of that mattered just then. “He isn't here. I haven't seen him since he left with you guys.”
Memories of a long night spent in a waiting room, no one willing to tell them if Yunho's poisoning was fatal or not, coursed through his mind and he swallowed hard, unmindful of the taste of blood. “He never made it here....”
“He did,” Jaejoong managed to grind out, shaking the younger men off of him and stalking away. He returned only a moment later and nearly took what was left of Changmin's broken nose off with a book - a very familiar book with a note taped onto the cover.
Even with his vision blurred, he recognized the writing as Yunho's.
Jaejoong, please return this to Changmin. He's sleeping and I don't want to bother him. Sorry I didn't respond to your txt messages. My mind was elsewhere.
“He was here?” A dumb question, stating an obvious fact. There certainly hadn't been a note on it when he'd left last night. He glanced around, almost curiously, wondering where Yunho had gone.
Wondering why Yunho wasn't there to give him a proper punishment of restrictions and extra duty rather than the beating Jaejoong had dished out.
“You don't even....”
For a moment Jaejoong looked like he was about to start swinging fists again and Changmin couldn't help but cringe slightly. Yoochun stepped in the way though, one hand resting on Jaejoong's shoulder, the other on his arm, keeping him steady. “That's not going to help things, Joongie. We have to find Yunho.”
But though he let Yoochun momentarily soothe him, Jaejoong was still glaring at Changmin as if he was the lowest piece of pond scum that had ever dared to float near the surface. “You don't even feel guilty. Not even a little bit, do you?”
Changmin sighed and winced, flipping the pages idly. The words in the book weren't exactly the most sensitive and caring. He couldn't help it, he was a scientist at heart and when he took notes, he wrote like one. The idea of his friend reading the rather coldly worded notes about his experimentation wasn't a pleasant one. Yunho had always been sensitive and insecure, even though he tried to hide it under a veneer of strength and charisma. He'd probably read Changmin's words and taken them as a devaluing of their friendship. “I'm sure I didn't mean any of it as harshly as I'm sure he took it.”
All three stared at him in wide-eyed silence, horror and concern dawning on their faces. When Jaejoong spoke again, his words were chosen carefully. “Changmin.... I meant the girl. I have no idea what's in the book.”
Changmin blinked, confusion heavy again. “Why would I feel guilty about the girl? I mean... Yes, I know we're not supposed to bring people home, but you do it all the time... I didn't think I'd get into this much trouble even if I got caught....”
No one ever beat up Jaejoong for spending any night he could manage out trolling for one-night stands. Sometimes Yunho looked like he wanted to, but then, Changmin was coming to understand more about their relationship - former relationship - than he'd ever really wanted to.
“Don't you care about Yunho's feeling at all?” Outrage was starting to flood over Jaejoong's face again and Changmin scooted back as quickly as he could manage - Yoochun didn't exactly have a hold on Jaejoong's feet, after all.
“Of course I do! What has that got to do with anything?!” He was too tired to be trying to sort through the riddles and trick questions that Jaejoong seemed determined to beat him over the head with.
Whatever else Jaejoong might have said was quickly muffled as Yoochun wrapped a hand over his mouth.
It was Junsu that questioned him again, making Changmin wonder if this was what victims of the Spanish Inquisition had felt like. “Changmin... How... exactly do you see your relationship with Yunho?”
Changmin glared. His relationship with Yunho wasn't really anyone else's business, but he was too worn out to resist or protest. “He's my hyung.”
“And?”
“My friend?” Really, if there was a point to this, he certainly hoped Junsu got to it soon because all he wanted to do was call the doctor that took care of them and get his face dealt with and then help them find Yunho.... Then he reconsidered. Finding Yunho was higher priority, he decided, since they had no idea if he'd run straight into the arms of more insane anti-fans with their bubbling cauldrons and vats of acid.
Jaejoong struggled slightly with Yoochun and managed to wiggle out of his arms. “You're fucking sleeping with him, Changmin.”
“And you sleep with half the sleazy men in the city.” He really didn't think that Jaejoong had any right to be rubbing his sexual choices in his face. At least he had taste.
“You...” For once, Jaejoong seemed at a complete loss for any words to say, not just unable to force them out past the anger. “You really don't get it, do you?”
“Don't get what?” Changmin was getting sick and tired of this entire encounter. Maybe this was all a horrible nightmare brought on by his conscience for breaking the rules and he'd wake up in a few minutes, warm and hungover but blood-free.
Jaejoong got down practically in his face like he had with the girl and his words were low and pained. “Jung Yunho is not the kind of guys who does fuck-buddies, Changmin. If he was, he'd've fucked you the first time you started making eyes at him.”
“What are you saying?'
“I'm saying he's in love with you and that whatever is written in here -“ he thumped the book Min was holding, but Changmin was frozen, staring at the dark eyes that seemed to bore a hole straight through his soul, “and whatever he saw you doing last night, did a lot more than break some rules.” Jaejoong stood up and stared down at him with a bitter look on his face and sarcasm dripping from his words. “Congratulations, Shim Changmin and really, thank you for making me an accomplice in shattering his heart all over again.”
Then he was gone, disappearing out the door and leaving Changmin to right the sudden tilt his world had taken.
~*~*~
It was two days before he saw either of them again though Junsu had told him in quiet tones that Jaejoong had let Yoochun know that he'd found Yunho and that they were both physically okay.
The photobook shoot had been cancelled. Whatever Jaejoong had said to their manager had gotten them two weeks off. It probably hadn't hurt matters that Changmin's face was not going to be fit for any photograph for a while.
Eating was something of a chore. Thankfully, Jaejoong hadn't broken anything other than his nose, but things were swollen and sensitive to the touch. In the end, it was easier to slurp up his soup through a straw, which was what he was doing when the front door opened and the missing band members trudged through the kitchen.
Yunho looked...
Changmin swallowed and ducked his head.
Yunho looked like someone had died and killed his puppy all at the same time.
“Jaejoong....” Yunho sighed and Changmin flinched away as gentle fingers tilted his face up and to the side so that the band leader could get a better view. “This was unnecessary.”
The eldest scowled, extreme dislike and displeasure coloring his expression. “He's lucky I didn't cut off his fucking dick.”
Though he clucked his tongue with disapproval, Yunho didn't argue the comment. Instead he managed a small half-smile that didn't reach his eyes - it was one of many of Yunho's stage smiles, one that meant he really wanted to be somewhere else, but knew his duty. “Did the doctor say when you'd be fit for work again?”
He shook his head and Yunho nodded in understanding before moving away again. The doctors never actually spoke to them, choosing instead to relay all information to their management first. It increased the feeling of being an animal in a petting zoo, but it was the life they'd chosen. If Yunho wanted a real update, he'd have to call Manager sshi later.
Changmin wasn't sure what he was expecting. To be hit again. To be yelled at. Something.
He hadn't expected to be treated like things were business as usual. A little cooler, a little less familiarly, but no worse than it had been the first day he'd been shoved into the room with three other boys who obviously knew each other and told to 'make friends'.
It bothered him, but what right did he have to complain?
~*~*~
The bruises faded and life went on.
Junsu moved back into the bedroom. Yunho went... somewhere else.
During the day, Yunho treated him like any professional acquaintance. He was always courteous, even kind, just like he was to every other person he came into contact with. And though Jaejoong glared and growled about changing their standing order, not wanting to be anywhere near the youngest, gentle hands and soft words always soothed him back to calm.
It was impossible not to notice the strain, though. Their order hadn't been changed, but Jaejoong went out of his way to crowd Yoochun rather than get within a foot of Changmin and Yunho was only half there more often than not. If a photographer told Yunho to touch Changmin, he did, mechanically, reluctantly, and it came across on film to the point that they finally gave up and stopped trying to force the issue.
At night, after their van had dropped them off, Yunho would disappear much like he had in those days before he'd finally relented to having sex with Changmin. The younger man half suspected he was going to the same place as he had before, but since he'd never known where that was, it didn't help him much.
Some nights, Jaejoong disappeared with him. Others, Jaejoong would follow after making sure Junsu and Yoochun were fed - Changmin was always left to fend for himself unless the younger of his hyungs took pity on him. Some nights Jaejoong slept in the bedroom with Yoochun.
Those nights were the worst, really.
If Jaejoong was in the apartment, that meant Yunho was alone, wherever he was, and Changmin had some inkling of how much Yunho hated that.
He wanted to talk to Yunho, explain himself or beg forgiveness, he was never sure which, but the few times he was alone with the other man, the words got stuck in his throat and refused to make their way out.
Any explanation he could offer would be shallow and lacking. So he hadn't meant to break Yunho's heart.
What could he really say?
I'm sorry you thought it was more than just experimenting with a friend?
As apologies went, it lacked something.
~*~*~
“Yunho....”
The band leader gave him a vague look before turning his attention back to the sheet music he was studying. “I thought you had finals coming up.”
Changmin nodded even though Yunho wasn't looking at him anymore. “I do....” His voice trailed off as what little courage he'd managed to muster up began to fade again.
“You should be studying, then.” There was a brief spasm, a twist of bitterness, to the words and Changmin flinched.
“Yunho, I...” He swallowed thickly and moved closer so that he could reach out and brush a hand against Yunho's arm. “I'm sorry.... I didn't... I didn't mean to...”
With a sigh, Yunho rubbed suspiciously damp eyes and pulled Changmin into a tight hug. “I know, Changmin. I know you didn't.”
“I'm sorry.” His own voice was thick and he knew that he was just a step away from breaking down himself.
It wasn't until Yunho pulled away slightly and wiped wetness off of his cheeks that Changmin realized that he was crying. The older man gave him a sad smile. “It'll be okay, Minnie. You'll see.”
“I thought... I thought-“ he hiccuped and made a face, trying to force back the tears that seemed determined to escape. “I miss you. We were friends.”
Yunho nodded and hugged him again. “And someday we will be again... but right now, I can't be your friend... It hurts too much. I'm sorry.”
When Yunho kissed his forehead and let go, leaving the room, Changmin didn't follow him.
~*~*
Chapter 11
Length: Chaptered
Author: M_K Yujji
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Drama
Pairing/Characters: MinHo; MinXrandomfemaleONS, past-JaeHo
Warnings: angst
Disclaimer: Though real people are used as characters, this fic bears no resemblance to Real Life and these people are not owned by me.
Comments/Notes: And finally, Changmin's P.O.V.~ You were all waiting for that, weren't you?
Prologue | Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 9
Summary: Youth is only an excuse for inexperience.
~*~*~*~
Changmin wasn't entirely sure what had woken him. He'd been warm enough and comfortable enough even if there'd been bony elbows pressed into his side where he was more accustomed to fingers in his hair and a solid chest under his cheek.
The sake-induced lethargy still clung stubbornly and he didn't really want to fight it, knowing from experience that a hang over of hellish proportions would be waiting for him when it cleared.
He suspected, though, that the loud screeching of high pitched Japanese and the angry snarling of Korean street slang - the kind only Jaejoong and Yunho really knew - meant that he wouldn't be getting back to sleep any time soon.
He'd hoped to avoid such a confrontation, hence the staying at home while the others had gone out, but he supposed he should have known better.
Jaejoong in particular had a sixth sense about when any of them were doing things they weren't supposed to do.... It was half the reason why they'd dubbed him the 'umma'.
“All right, all right, already...” He pushed himself up with an elbow, blinking in sleepy disbelief at the sight before him.
His eldest bandmate had the girl he'd brought home by the hair and was dragging her - kicking and screaming and crying - out the door, threats that made Changmin pale to hear being snarled at her. Jaejoong hadn't even let the poor girl get dressed, though she was clinging stubbornly to the sheet to protect her nudity.
Not exactly a gentleman by anyone's standards, Changmin still felt obligated to force his protesting body up out of the bed. He tottered unsteadily for a moment, pausing to get his balance and pull on some boxers, then he trotted after them. He passed Yoochun and Junsu on the way, but didn't really spare them much thought. “Jaejoong.... Dammit... Jaejoong. At least let her get dressed before you kick her out.”
Stopping for a moment, Jaejoong glared in his direction. “Go get her clothes, Shim Changmin, or I swear to God I will toss her out with nothing but this sheet.”
Changmin sighed and rolled his eyes before heading back in the direction he'd come from. When he returned, the woman's small dress and hose in his arms, Jaejoong was still standing there with a double fistful of hair, looking for all the world that he was just one step away from ripping the girl to shreds. If she could understand Korean, she already would be. “Jaejoong-“
But the eldest ignored him, letting go with one hand to open the door and practically hurling her out, sheet and all. Then he snatched the clothes from Changmin and tossed them out after her. He knelt down in front of the sobbing woman and spoke in very careful, deliberate Japanese. “If I ever see or hear of you again, you will regret that you were ever born, do you understand? You are going to leave and pretend that last night and this morning never even happened or I will make you very, very sorry.”
“Jaejoong-“
A finger was jabbed in his direction. “You. Shut the fuck up.” Then Jae turned back to the girl. “Do you understand?”
She nodded frantically, trying desperately to push herself as far against the other wall as she could manage, clearly terrified of the demon that had possessed the singer.
For himself, Changmin sighed and rubbed his eyes. So it hadn't been the brightest idea, but she was a minor celebrity herself, it wasn't like she was going to go to the press. The indiscretion surely wasn't worth the gangster-style scene Jaejoong was making.
The door was slammed shut and he opened his mouth to speak again, to try to talk some kind of reasonable sense into the madman who was posing as his hyung.
Before he could even open his eyes, though, pain blossomed through his face, the metallic taste of blood filling his mouth. “What the-“
But Jaejoong had only just started. The rain of blows and kicks were vicious in a way that he'd never seen the other man attack anyone and though he'd always known Jaejoong could be a dirty fighter, he'd never even imagined seeing the tendency turned on himself.
Changmin might have feared for his life if Junsu and Yoochun hadn't appeared to pull the enraged man off of him. He rolled to the side, curling up and waiting for the worst of the pain to subside. It wasn't the first time he'd been beaten up - just the first time his attacker had been someone he cared about.
“Where is he? What the fuck did you think you were doing Changmin? Answer me! Where is he?!”
He blinked, wincing as he did so and settled for squinting up at the contorted features of his long-time friend just barely restrained from attacking him again. “What? Where is...” He had to pause to spit out a mouthful of blood. Absent-mindedly, he hoped Jaejoong hadn't broken any of his teeth. “Where is who?”
“Yunho, you fucking piece of shit. Where is Yunho?”
How did they honestly expect him to know when he'd been here and they'd been elsewhere?
Worry simply added to his confusion and he gestured towards the other three. “With you... he was with you....”
Jaejoong's jaw clenched so hard Changmin could hear the grinding of teeth. He could almost see the mental count of ten but even then, all Jaejoong did was shake his head, anger too strong to speak through.
“Changmin... Yunho left - came back last night to bring you back - er.. Up there... with us,” Junsu said cautiously.
Forcing himself to sit up, Changmin winced and pressed his fingers against his nose. Broken, he thought. It had to be. Everyone from the manager to the stylists were going to be pissed off when they saw him, but none of that mattered just then. “He isn't here. I haven't seen him since he left with you guys.”
Memories of a long night spent in a waiting room, no one willing to tell them if Yunho's poisoning was fatal or not, coursed through his mind and he swallowed hard, unmindful of the taste of blood. “He never made it here....”
“He did,” Jaejoong managed to grind out, shaking the younger men off of him and stalking away. He returned only a moment later and nearly took what was left of Changmin's broken nose off with a book - a very familiar book with a note taped onto the cover.
Even with his vision blurred, he recognized the writing as Yunho's.
Jaejoong, please return this to Changmin. He's sleeping and I don't want to bother him. Sorry I didn't respond to your txt messages. My mind was elsewhere.
“He was here?” A dumb question, stating an obvious fact. There certainly hadn't been a note on it when he'd left last night. He glanced around, almost curiously, wondering where Yunho had gone.
Wondering why Yunho wasn't there to give him a proper punishment of restrictions and extra duty rather than the beating Jaejoong had dished out.
“You don't even....”
For a moment Jaejoong looked like he was about to start swinging fists again and Changmin couldn't help but cringe slightly. Yoochun stepped in the way though, one hand resting on Jaejoong's shoulder, the other on his arm, keeping him steady. “That's not going to help things, Joongie. We have to find Yunho.”
But though he let Yoochun momentarily soothe him, Jaejoong was still glaring at Changmin as if he was the lowest piece of pond scum that had ever dared to float near the surface. “You don't even feel guilty. Not even a little bit, do you?”
Changmin sighed and winced, flipping the pages idly. The words in the book weren't exactly the most sensitive and caring. He couldn't help it, he was a scientist at heart and when he took notes, he wrote like one. The idea of his friend reading the rather coldly worded notes about his experimentation wasn't a pleasant one. Yunho had always been sensitive and insecure, even though he tried to hide it under a veneer of strength and charisma. He'd probably read Changmin's words and taken them as a devaluing of their friendship. “I'm sure I didn't mean any of it as harshly as I'm sure he took it.”
All three stared at him in wide-eyed silence, horror and concern dawning on their faces. When Jaejoong spoke again, his words were chosen carefully. “Changmin.... I meant the girl. I have no idea what's in the book.”
Changmin blinked, confusion heavy again. “Why would I feel guilty about the girl? I mean... Yes, I know we're not supposed to bring people home, but you do it all the time... I didn't think I'd get into this much trouble even if I got caught....”
No one ever beat up Jaejoong for spending any night he could manage out trolling for one-night stands. Sometimes Yunho looked like he wanted to, but then, Changmin was coming to understand more about their relationship - former relationship - than he'd ever really wanted to.
“Don't you care about Yunho's feeling at all?” Outrage was starting to flood over Jaejoong's face again and Changmin scooted back as quickly as he could manage - Yoochun didn't exactly have a hold on Jaejoong's feet, after all.
“Of course I do! What has that got to do with anything?!” He was too tired to be trying to sort through the riddles and trick questions that Jaejoong seemed determined to beat him over the head with.
Whatever else Jaejoong might have said was quickly muffled as Yoochun wrapped a hand over his mouth.
It was Junsu that questioned him again, making Changmin wonder if this was what victims of the Spanish Inquisition had felt like. “Changmin... How... exactly do you see your relationship with Yunho?”
Changmin glared. His relationship with Yunho wasn't really anyone else's business, but he was too worn out to resist or protest. “He's my hyung.”
“And?”
“My friend?” Really, if there was a point to this, he certainly hoped Junsu got to it soon because all he wanted to do was call the doctor that took care of them and get his face dealt with and then help them find Yunho.... Then he reconsidered. Finding Yunho was higher priority, he decided, since they had no idea if he'd run straight into the arms of more insane anti-fans with their bubbling cauldrons and vats of acid.
Jaejoong struggled slightly with Yoochun and managed to wiggle out of his arms. “You're fucking sleeping with him, Changmin.”
“And you sleep with half the sleazy men in the city.” He really didn't think that Jaejoong had any right to be rubbing his sexual choices in his face. At least he had taste.
“You...” For once, Jaejoong seemed at a complete loss for any words to say, not just unable to force them out past the anger. “You really don't get it, do you?”
“Don't get what?” Changmin was getting sick and tired of this entire encounter. Maybe this was all a horrible nightmare brought on by his conscience for breaking the rules and he'd wake up in a few minutes, warm and hungover but blood-free.
Jaejoong got down practically in his face like he had with the girl and his words were low and pained. “Jung Yunho is not the kind of guys who does fuck-buddies, Changmin. If he was, he'd've fucked you the first time you started making eyes at him.”
“What are you saying?'
“I'm saying he's in love with you and that whatever is written in here -“ he thumped the book Min was holding, but Changmin was frozen, staring at the dark eyes that seemed to bore a hole straight through his soul, “and whatever he saw you doing last night, did a lot more than break some rules.” Jaejoong stood up and stared down at him with a bitter look on his face and sarcasm dripping from his words. “Congratulations, Shim Changmin and really, thank you for making me an accomplice in shattering his heart all over again.”
Then he was gone, disappearing out the door and leaving Changmin to right the sudden tilt his world had taken.
~*~*~
It was two days before he saw either of them again though Junsu had told him in quiet tones that Jaejoong had let Yoochun know that he'd found Yunho and that they were both physically okay.
The photobook shoot had been cancelled. Whatever Jaejoong had said to their manager had gotten them two weeks off. It probably hadn't hurt matters that Changmin's face was not going to be fit for any photograph for a while.
Eating was something of a chore. Thankfully, Jaejoong hadn't broken anything other than his nose, but things were swollen and sensitive to the touch. In the end, it was easier to slurp up his soup through a straw, which was what he was doing when the front door opened and the missing band members trudged through the kitchen.
Yunho looked...
Changmin swallowed and ducked his head.
Yunho looked like someone had died and killed his puppy all at the same time.
“Jaejoong....” Yunho sighed and Changmin flinched away as gentle fingers tilted his face up and to the side so that the band leader could get a better view. “This was unnecessary.”
The eldest scowled, extreme dislike and displeasure coloring his expression. “He's lucky I didn't cut off his fucking dick.”
Though he clucked his tongue with disapproval, Yunho didn't argue the comment. Instead he managed a small half-smile that didn't reach his eyes - it was one of many of Yunho's stage smiles, one that meant he really wanted to be somewhere else, but knew his duty. “Did the doctor say when you'd be fit for work again?”
He shook his head and Yunho nodded in understanding before moving away again. The doctors never actually spoke to them, choosing instead to relay all information to their management first. It increased the feeling of being an animal in a petting zoo, but it was the life they'd chosen. If Yunho wanted a real update, he'd have to call Manager sshi later.
Changmin wasn't sure what he was expecting. To be hit again. To be yelled at. Something.
He hadn't expected to be treated like things were business as usual. A little cooler, a little less familiarly, but no worse than it had been the first day he'd been shoved into the room with three other boys who obviously knew each other and told to 'make friends'.
It bothered him, but what right did he have to complain?
~*~*~
The bruises faded and life went on.
Junsu moved back into the bedroom. Yunho went... somewhere else.
During the day, Yunho treated him like any professional acquaintance. He was always courteous, even kind, just like he was to every other person he came into contact with. And though Jaejoong glared and growled about changing their standing order, not wanting to be anywhere near the youngest, gentle hands and soft words always soothed him back to calm.
It was impossible not to notice the strain, though. Their order hadn't been changed, but Jaejoong went out of his way to crowd Yoochun rather than get within a foot of Changmin and Yunho was only half there more often than not. If a photographer told Yunho to touch Changmin, he did, mechanically, reluctantly, and it came across on film to the point that they finally gave up and stopped trying to force the issue.
At night, after their van had dropped them off, Yunho would disappear much like he had in those days before he'd finally relented to having sex with Changmin. The younger man half suspected he was going to the same place as he had before, but since he'd never known where that was, it didn't help him much.
Some nights, Jaejoong disappeared with him. Others, Jaejoong would follow after making sure Junsu and Yoochun were fed - Changmin was always left to fend for himself unless the younger of his hyungs took pity on him. Some nights Jaejoong slept in the bedroom with Yoochun.
Those nights were the worst, really.
If Jaejoong was in the apartment, that meant Yunho was alone, wherever he was, and Changmin had some inkling of how much Yunho hated that.
He wanted to talk to Yunho, explain himself or beg forgiveness, he was never sure which, but the few times he was alone with the other man, the words got stuck in his throat and refused to make their way out.
Any explanation he could offer would be shallow and lacking. So he hadn't meant to break Yunho's heart.
What could he really say?
I'm sorry you thought it was more than just experimenting with a friend?
As apologies went, it lacked something.
~*~*~
“Yunho....”
The band leader gave him a vague look before turning his attention back to the sheet music he was studying. “I thought you had finals coming up.”
Changmin nodded even though Yunho wasn't looking at him anymore. “I do....” His voice trailed off as what little courage he'd managed to muster up began to fade again.
“You should be studying, then.” There was a brief spasm, a twist of bitterness, to the words and Changmin flinched.
“Yunho, I...” He swallowed thickly and moved closer so that he could reach out and brush a hand against Yunho's arm. “I'm sorry.... I didn't... I didn't mean to...”
With a sigh, Yunho rubbed suspiciously damp eyes and pulled Changmin into a tight hug. “I know, Changmin. I know you didn't.”
“I'm sorry.” His own voice was thick and he knew that he was just a step away from breaking down himself.
It wasn't until Yunho pulled away slightly and wiped wetness off of his cheeks that Changmin realized that he was crying. The older man gave him a sad smile. “It'll be okay, Minnie. You'll see.”
“I thought... I thought-“ he hiccuped and made a face, trying to force back the tears that seemed determined to escape. “I miss you. We were friends.”
Yunho nodded and hugged him again. “And someday we will be again... but right now, I can't be your friend... It hurts too much. I'm sorry.”
When Yunho kissed his forehead and let go, leaving the room, Changmin didn't follow him.
~*~*
Chapter 11