“If only we’d stop trying to be happy we could have a pretty good time.” - Edith Wharton

[kitsunetsuki]

So I had a really long talk with Kayla tonight about her living in Japan. It seriously depressed me. She made me realize that I honestly didn't know what I was expecting to get out of this move. Not that I don't wanna do it still. It will be better going and knowing than not going and always wondering. But she made me realize that it won't really

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[kitsunetsuki]

Kayla made a really good point that I didn't mention in my post. She said that it sucks being away from your friends and that you may want to spend all of your time with them. But at the same time, you can't live your life for someone else. You have to be at least a little selfish b/c what do you do when you've built your life around others and then they're gone?
So that's something to think about. I would still rather go and know for certain that I tried & gave it my best if I don't love it or that it's perfect if I do, than spend my whole life wondering "What if?".
Your niece and nephew are different from mine b/c there are no cousins on your side and you were such a vital part of his life. I mean, he owes his life to you. That's not an ordinary aunt-nephew relationship. There were some really hard times for him that you & your mom were the main ones who got him through. He's almost your own son and not just your nephew.
My relationship with mine is different b/c they have three aunts in common and so many cousins it isn't even funny. There isn't just Olivia, Ethan, Jase, & Avery. There's my cousins who are their age: Noah, Daylin, & Nevaeh. They hang out with them a lot. There's also my cousins' children on my mother's side. There are Cody, Gage, Josiah, Elijah, Kala, Tristan, Levi, & Kadin.
I'll miss them, but I think it'll be good for me to miss this place in general. I've never missed it before.