St Sulpice
I think I've reach the conclusion I've been looking for all summer.
Turns out all I had to do was go to Montreal.
I think I reached the point where I've concluded that I'm done with this wild haphazard phase I went though. It's not that it was fun, or that it wasn't entertaining, but it's not what I want. The fact of the matter is that while I may have been a louse in several different states this summer, I've had enough. What I want is a relationship. A stable relationship with a girl I care about.
Now, when I was writing this. I stopped here, and I went to correct that line. Then I realized that the line wasn't incorrect. What I want is a relationship, with a girl I care about and a girl that cares about me. This isn't to say that I haven't cared about the girls in the past, which is how I was worried it might be read. I'm secure enough at this point that I'm sick of dealing with that. Why I should be treading on pins and needles over how I feel is something I don't understand.
There have been girls I have written about in this livejournal before that I was interested in. These girls are crushes, ideals, and people I wish I'd known closer. They aren't substitutes for relationships though. And every girl I've kissed in every state, another broken dream or heart, another night meaningless, or something dragged out too far. Wistful, but regretless.
Life is short and complex, beautiful and cruel, but overall it's the little experiences. From the milestones of the millions to the pebbles of one person...
Your first crush.
Your first kiss.
The first time you drive a car.
Your first drunken walk home.
The time you stayed up late because your parents said you could
The night where you and your friend stayed up til dawn just because
The first drink you have out.
The first fight you have with your best friend.
The first time you made out in the rain.
Every last little thing, priceless, irreplaceable, and the moments that make us who we are.
Turns out all I had to do was go to Montreal.
I think I reached the point where I've concluded that I'm done with this wild haphazard phase I went though. It's not that it was fun, or that it wasn't entertaining, but it's not what I want. The fact of the matter is that while I may have been a louse in several different states this summer, I've had enough. What I want is a relationship. A stable relationship with a girl I care about.
Now, when I was writing this. I stopped here, and I went to correct that line. Then I realized that the line wasn't incorrect. What I want is a relationship, with a girl I care about and a girl that cares about me. This isn't to say that I haven't cared about the girls in the past, which is how I was worried it might be read. I'm secure enough at this point that I'm sick of dealing with that. Why I should be treading on pins and needles over how I feel is something I don't understand.
There have been girls I have written about in this livejournal before that I was interested in. These girls are crushes, ideals, and people I wish I'd known closer. They aren't substitutes for relationships though. And every girl I've kissed in every state, another broken dream or heart, another night meaningless, or something dragged out too far. Wistful, but regretless.
Life is short and complex, beautiful and cruel, but overall it's the little experiences. From the milestones of the millions to the pebbles of one person...
Your first crush.
Your first kiss.
The first time you drive a car.
Your first drunken walk home.
The time you stayed up late because your parents said you could
The night where you and your friend stayed up til dawn just because
The first drink you have out.
The first fight you have with your best friend.
The first time you made out in the rain.
Every last little thing, priceless, irreplaceable, and the moments that make us who we are.