Pokemon Go rant
by now, anyone who has been exposed to the internet knows about Pokemon Go
My reaction to this mobile game is like a roller coaster doing a bungee jump :D
When I first heard of it, I was full of anticipation and "please don't mess this up >_<". I mean, Pokemon in the real world? an official, real, Pokemon game on MOBILE? FINALLY!
Then when I saw the first few pictures and videos of the game, months (or maybe more than a year?) before it was going to be released, I felt disgusted. You know how sometimes you look at a food and you just know it's gonna taste bad? Or how all you need is a glance at something and you can tell that its a cheap knockoff? I had that feeling. Yuck.
And when I learned, closer to the game's release, about how the game will actually, con-lan-chat-firm, function? I posted a rant on facebook saying that the gamEE SUCKS!!
Then when the game was finally released (i think it was delayed for almost a month? I dunno, I can't be bothered at this point) on 6th August 2016, approximately 3 days ago, I immediately downloaded it and played it hardcore and studied every interaction and rules it had. You could say on the latter half of last Saturday, I was obsessed with the game, spending every 5 minutes staring at my phone waiting for the pokestop to refresh!
3 days later, today, I think the game is a great mobile game. But if you want to call it a pokemon game, its like trying to call a fish a cat! Unless its a catfish. But then again, Pokemon Go is kind of a catfish. One, its called a cat but its nothing like a cat, and is fully a fish. Second, Pokemon Go is like the 'informal' (according to google) meaning of catfish in which it lures you into a relationship based off a fake persona (it uses the nostalgia of pokemon to get you to play an addictive GPS game).
So I'm obsessed with the game, but I hate it @_@ let me break this down for you; Pokemon Go is advertised as the ULTIMATE augmented reality (to be henceforth known as AR) pokemon game!! Its every pokemon otaku's dream come true!
Sure, you can argue that that is true, for the first hour. I was excited and having tons of fun catching zubats and the highlight of the hour was certainly a huge haunter that took me a ton of balls to catch :D but that lasted me only an hour ok it was 4 hours BUT STILL. After that it was all grind and mechanics learning that drove me.
You know, I realized these days I like to play games for the grind, as well as to learn the mechanics. I can read up on the game online, but (maybe) because of the newness factor of the game, a lot of information is incorrect (or downright false. Actually, what's the difference? and why do people say downright? Is it an artifact of street fighter moves where when you want to abugin you do down-right-punch? what if your opponent is on the left? nooo /@_@\)
Why do I hate it. Yes, so I hate Pokemon Go because it is anything BUT a pokemon game. Sure, it has a pokemon skin and the main goal is pokemon and the team leaders are awesome characters (not really, just team Instinct's dorky leader), but that doesn't make it any more a pokemon game than a schoolbag with pokemon prints all over it isn't a pokemon game.
In the very first Pokemon games (you know, red, blue, green, yellow.. ash ketchum tv series.. the source material of pokemon go) you learn that pokemon are your buddies, your nakama, to borrow from One Piece. The bad guys are team rocket, shitty people that treat their pokemon like tools. Your rival, the grandson of your sensei (professor oak) and most powerful trainer in the world thats always one step ahead of you, is beaten because of your bonds with your pokemon, and his lack thereof.. I('d like to) believe that the 'moral of the story' for pokemon is to love and nurture YOUR beloved pokemon and you'll shonen-power beat any and all odds~ yeah~ ^_^v
But in Pokemon Go? You know, I'm a really silly person that takes character creation and names too seriously, and because of that, I have a complex where I think I suck at coming up with names. It took me almost an hour to finalize my avatar's clothes color..... only to find out later that I CAN CHANGE THE COLOR ANYTIME IN THE GAME FOR NO COST WHATSOEVER ROFLMAO
and since I have a super common nickname - Kitsune (and every single variation of it, well, except Kitsunya which.. I haven't tried but) is of course already taken, I ended up making FOUR characters with lame, pun-ny names to compensate. 80 hours into the game (first character level 12, others 3, 5, and 6) and I still can't decide which name to stick with!
Oh, and they make a big deal of you choose your starter just like the original games.. and even have a clever easter egg where if you -dont- choose the 3, a pikachu will pop up! clever! cool! I of course chose Squirtle because that was the first pokemon I ever gotten and I'm nostalgic and no I don't need a tissue paper go away
..what is my point, exactly? My point is that I stupidly took this too seriously and tried to make a very personal avatar and even nickname my pokemon (what a nerd :D hehe) and later found out that none of this matters LOL. I already proved my point regarding the character customization. Nicknames are basically useless outside the bragging rights when you get to smush one of your pokemon into a gym (and oh, I'll get into the gym thing later), no other social component to the game (yet?) and your starter pokemon. Your buddy. Your number 1 pokemon!.....
.....its LITERALLY GARBAGE. Because of the way the.. combat system works in the game. The combat system, if you can even call furious tapping combat, was one of the first signs that showed this game SUCKS. Why is it so hard to incorporate the simple jan-ken-pon 4 move only system that worked in a gameboy game that is, what, thousands of times smaller in size than this mobile game? At least make it turn-based.
Anyways, my main gripe with the 'combat system' (and leveling sytem, its the same thing anyway in Pokemon Go.. its the "CP" in case you're wondering) that is making me feel so offended is because you can only get high CP pokemon once your avatar is higher leveled. That means, when you start out and are level 1, that beloved starter you chose is literally the weakest shit you can get in the game. And don't think that thing's special either, you can catch starters anywhere and I can guarantee that all of them will be stronger, if not equal, to the starter you chose. Yes, you can upgrade their CP, and evolving does boost their CP, but the CP you start out with works basically like a base stat. Of COURSE a squirtle with a base stat of 508 will trump the living shit out of my 10 CP Nayeon. Yes, I named my Squirtle Nayeon because I'm a kpop otaku too ; ;
And the solution to duplicate pokemon you catch (and you'd want to catch duplicate pokemon - every one you catch gives your player character experience points) is to trade them to the professor (i dont even remember his name because he looks like a dweeb and i dont see him anymore after i chose my name, although i did it four times. HIS NAME IS WILLOW. Lol I remembered. Anyway) and the professor will give you base-pokemon-specific candies to level up the chosen one out of the duplicates with amazing high base CP (which you caught when you were level 20 after grinding for, maybe 100 hours or so. 20's the soft cap :D)
So Pokemon Go tells you to go out, catch a ton of pokemon, trade them into candies, stuff the candies into the chosen one with the highest CP, and use that thing to CONQUER! :E You can keep your starter for nostalgic reasons, but its better off becoming candy to evolve that 2000 CP Wartortle. What else am I going to do with Nayeon? Scroll down my list and look at it and sigh a how this game isn't what I hoped it would be? Take a screenshot of it and put it on facebook? bleh. And when I eventually hit level 40 and catch a 5000 CP squirtle.. 2000 CP Wartortle who? Sorry I can't hear you over the 9000 CP Blastoise I'm sitting on
Pokemon Go makes you treat (get it, treat? they're CANDIES ^_^) every pokemon you catch as TOOLS! Everything Pokemon Go does spits in the face of the 'spirit' of what the Pokemon games taught me. Me. *shrugs* I dunno if you got it differently and I'm just overreacting. Well, I am overreacting :D thats why I just added the word 'rant' to this post's title ^_^;
Pokemon integrity (lol) aside, this game is *supposed* to be AR! Augmented Reality! It is heralded as the torch bearing champion of AR that is asking expensive VR headsets to stay at home while the AR cool kids go outside and socialize!
Do you know what Pokemon Go's number 1 top tip, hack, trick, is?
Turn off the AR so you can catch pokemon easier. And you don't end up looking like an idiot pointing your phone up and down.
R O F L M A O
Pokemon Go fails miserably as an AR game. It is no more an AR game than instagram or snapchat or google maps or yelp is an AR game. Pokemon Go is an incredibly addictive GPS game. That's all it is. It is a very (very) successful GPS game, and I just checked if any pokemon spawned in my room or not (nothing lol), but it SUCKS as a Pokemon AR game.
I admit the game got its hooks in everyone (and I mean everyone - throw a stone pokeball with your eyes closed and you'll hit a person with pokemon go installed on their phone) from the pokemon skin hype and nostalgia train, and then it imprisoned people with its ingenious two magnificently strong points as a GPS game;
1) it gives people an excuse
An excuse to go out again. An excuse to spend time with friends, with family, with strangers, with themselves. Humans are social animals, and although modern societal values have driven us away from socializing, we all, deep down, want to reconnect with each other (yes I'm trying to sound like a telco commercial), and pokemon go gives people an excuse to gather together and have fun! Its a good thing! I had so much fun with people the past few days even though I'd love nothing more than to sit alone in my room and type a thousand word rant about pokem--- er
Its also a good thing that my phone's GPS is kinda wonky (especially in the vicinity, or in, high rise buildings - it bugs out and my avatar runs around randomly and I can get access to pokestops next door without moving from my room/office. I also get to hatch a ton of eggs without getting up from my chair. LOL ^O^v
2) its another quick, happy source for an endorphin shot :D (or was it dopamine? i dunno man, i returned all my science to my teachers wtf)
Waiting at a lured pokestop, anticipating what pokemon will pop, and when it pops, the excitement of bashing the screen to spawn the catch screen, and the fun fun fun (i'm not sarcastic, the pokeball throw mechanic is my favorite thing in this game - CURVE SHOTS FTW) catch shot, the excitement of the ball rolling (tho if you look at the 'save' cursor on the top left, you'll know if you got it or not really - unconfirmed) and anticipation of when you get to catch it or not, and YAY I CAUGHT IT! \^O^/ *screenshot share on facebook*
Its like getting an orgasm every few minutes. I'm a guy, so I don't have the pleasure (^_~) of knowing how that feels.. One of the reasons why I wish I were a girl, really (but lets not go down that rabbit hole.. geddit, hole?)
So... TL;DR - pokemon go sucks balls as a *pokemon* _AR_ game, but its a cool GPS game that will hopefully open the door to many more fun mobile games (especially from AAA developers!!) FORGET ABOUT ALL YOUR PETTY CONSOLE WARS! NINTENDO! GET YOUR HEAD OUT OF YOUR HANDHELD ARSE (unless the NX is the second coming, but that is a post for another day.. probably after it actually anounces) AND LOOK AT THE 200 MILLION THIS STUPID MOBILE GAME BUILT ON NOSTALGIA MADE!!! EVERY_ SINGLE_ TARGET_ CUSTOMER_ OF_ YOURS_ HAS A MOBILE PHONE. MAKE A GOOD GAME ON MOBILE = PRINTING MONEY $_____$ I WANT TO GIVE YOU MY MONEY!! MAKE US HAPPY \*O*/ PREY ON OUR NOSTALGIA!! WE HAVE JOBS AND CREDIT CARDS NOW LOL
(and no, I am not being sarcastic. I really do hope actual triple A games will come to mobile (whether its phones or holo lenses or contact lenses or brain implants) my body - and wallet! - is ready :D)
I'm sorry
My reaction to this mobile game is like a roller coaster doing a bungee jump :D
When I first heard of it, I was full of anticipation and "please don't mess this up >_<". I mean, Pokemon in the real world? an official, real, Pokemon game on MOBILE? FINALLY!
Then when I saw the first few pictures and videos of the game, months (or maybe more than a year?) before it was going to be released, I felt disgusted. You know how sometimes you look at a food and you just know it's gonna taste bad? Or how all you need is a glance at something and you can tell that its a cheap knockoff? I had that feeling. Yuck.
And when I learned, closer to the game's release, about how the game will actually, con-lan-chat-firm, function? I posted a rant on facebook saying that the gamEE SUCKS!!
Then when the game was finally released (i think it was delayed for almost a month? I dunno, I can't be bothered at this point) on 6th August 2016, approximately 3 days ago, I immediately downloaded it and played it hardcore and studied every interaction and rules it had. You could say on the latter half of last Saturday, I was obsessed with the game, spending every 5 minutes staring at my phone waiting for the pokestop to refresh!
3 days later, today, I think the game is a great mobile game. But if you want to call it a pokemon game, its like trying to call a fish a cat! Unless its a catfish. But then again, Pokemon Go is kind of a catfish. One, its called a cat but its nothing like a cat, and is fully a fish. Second, Pokemon Go is like the 'informal' (according to google) meaning of catfish in which it lures you into a relationship based off a fake persona (it uses the nostalgia of pokemon to get you to play an addictive GPS game).
So I'm obsessed with the game, but I hate it @_@ let me break this down for you; Pokemon Go is advertised as the ULTIMATE augmented reality (to be henceforth known as AR) pokemon game!! Its every pokemon otaku's dream come true!
Sure, you can argue that that is true, for the first hour. I was excited and having tons of fun catching zubats and the highlight of the hour was certainly a huge haunter that took me a ton of balls to catch :D but that lasted me only an hour ok it was 4 hours BUT STILL. After that it was all grind and mechanics learning that drove me.
You know, I realized these days I like to play games for the grind, as well as to learn the mechanics. I can read up on the game online, but (maybe) because of the newness factor of the game, a lot of information is incorrect (or downright false. Actually, what's the difference? and why do people say downright? Is it an artifact of street fighter moves where when you want to abugin you do down-right-punch? what if your opponent is on the left? nooo /@_@\)
Why do I hate it. Yes, so I hate Pokemon Go because it is anything BUT a pokemon game. Sure, it has a pokemon skin and the main goal is pokemon and the team leaders are awesome characters (not really, just team Instinct's dorky leader), but that doesn't make it any more a pokemon game than a schoolbag with pokemon prints all over it isn't a pokemon game.
In the very first Pokemon games (you know, red, blue, green, yellow.. ash ketchum tv series.. the source material of pokemon go) you learn that pokemon are your buddies, your nakama, to borrow from One Piece. The bad guys are team rocket, shitty people that treat their pokemon like tools. Your rival, the grandson of your sensei (professor oak) and most powerful trainer in the world thats always one step ahead of you, is beaten because of your bonds with your pokemon, and his lack thereof.. I('d like to) believe that the 'moral of the story' for pokemon is to love and nurture YOUR beloved pokemon and you'll shonen-power beat any and all odds~ yeah~ ^_^v
But in Pokemon Go? You know, I'm a really silly person that takes character creation and names too seriously, and because of that, I have a complex where I think I suck at coming up with names. It took me almost an hour to finalize my avatar's clothes color..... only to find out later that I CAN CHANGE THE COLOR ANYTIME IN THE GAME FOR NO COST WHATSOEVER ROFLMAO
and since I have a super common nickname - Kitsune (and every single variation of it, well, except Kitsunya which.. I haven't tried but) is of course already taken, I ended up making FOUR characters with lame, pun-ny names to compensate. 80 hours into the game (first character level 12, others 3, 5, and 6) and I still can't decide which name to stick with!
Oh, and they make a big deal of you choose your starter just like the original games.. and even have a clever easter egg where if you -dont- choose the 3, a pikachu will pop up! clever! cool! I of course chose Squirtle because that was the first pokemon I ever gotten and I'm nostalgic and no I don't need a tissue paper go away
..what is my point, exactly? My point is that I stupidly took this too seriously and tried to make a very personal avatar and even nickname my pokemon (what a nerd :D hehe) and later found out that none of this matters LOL. I already proved my point regarding the character customization. Nicknames are basically useless outside the bragging rights when you get to smush one of your pokemon into a gym (and oh, I'll get into the gym thing later), no other social component to the game (yet?) and your starter pokemon. Your buddy. Your number 1 pokemon!.....
.....its LITERALLY GARBAGE. Because of the way the.. combat system works in the game. The combat system, if you can even call furious tapping combat, was one of the first signs that showed this game SUCKS. Why is it so hard to incorporate the simple jan-ken-pon 4 move only system that worked in a gameboy game that is, what, thousands of times smaller in size than this mobile game? At least make it turn-based.
Anyways, my main gripe with the 'combat system' (and leveling sytem, its the same thing anyway in Pokemon Go.. its the "CP" in case you're wondering) that is making me feel so offended is because you can only get high CP pokemon once your avatar is higher leveled. That means, when you start out and are level 1, that beloved starter you chose is literally the weakest shit you can get in the game. And don't think that thing's special either, you can catch starters anywhere and I can guarantee that all of them will be stronger, if not equal, to the starter you chose. Yes, you can upgrade their CP, and evolving does boost their CP, but the CP you start out with works basically like a base stat. Of COURSE a squirtle with a base stat of 508 will trump the living shit out of my 10 CP Nayeon. Yes, I named my Squirtle Nayeon because I'm a kpop otaku too ; ;
And the solution to duplicate pokemon you catch (and you'd want to catch duplicate pokemon - every one you catch gives your player character experience points) is to trade them to the professor (i dont even remember his name because he looks like a dweeb and i dont see him anymore after i chose my name, although i did it four times. HIS NAME IS WILLOW. Lol I remembered. Anyway) and the professor will give you base-pokemon-specific candies to level up the chosen one out of the duplicates with amazing high base CP (which you caught when you were level 20 after grinding for, maybe 100 hours or so. 20's the soft cap :D)
So Pokemon Go tells you to go out, catch a ton of pokemon, trade them into candies, stuff the candies into the chosen one with the highest CP, and use that thing to CONQUER! :E You can keep your starter for nostalgic reasons, but its better off becoming candy to evolve that 2000 CP Wartortle. What else am I going to do with Nayeon? Scroll down my list and look at it and sigh a how this game isn't what I hoped it would be? Take a screenshot of it and put it on facebook? bleh. And when I eventually hit level 40 and catch a 5000 CP squirtle.. 2000 CP Wartortle who? Sorry I can't hear you over the 9000 CP Blastoise I'm sitting on
Pokemon Go makes you treat (get it, treat? they're CANDIES ^_^) every pokemon you catch as TOOLS! Everything Pokemon Go does spits in the face of the 'spirit' of what the Pokemon games taught me. Me. *shrugs* I dunno if you got it differently and I'm just overreacting. Well, I am overreacting :D thats why I just added the word 'rant' to this post's title ^_^;
Pokemon integrity (lol) aside, this game is *supposed* to be AR! Augmented Reality! It is heralded as the torch bearing champion of AR that is asking expensive VR headsets to stay at home while the AR cool kids go outside and socialize!
Do you know what Pokemon Go's number 1 top tip, hack, trick, is?
Turn off the AR so you can catch pokemon easier. And you don't end up looking like an idiot pointing your phone up and down.
R O F L M A O
Pokemon Go fails miserably as an AR game. It is no more an AR game than instagram or snapchat or google maps or yelp is an AR game. Pokemon Go is an incredibly addictive GPS game. That's all it is. It is a very (very) successful GPS game, and I just checked if any pokemon spawned in my room or not (nothing lol), but it SUCKS as a Pokemon AR game.
I admit the game got its hooks in everyone (and I mean everyone - throw a stone pokeball with your eyes closed and you'll hit a person with pokemon go installed on their phone) from the pokemon skin hype and nostalgia train, and then it imprisoned people with its ingenious two magnificently strong points as a GPS game;
1) it gives people an excuse
An excuse to go out again. An excuse to spend time with friends, with family, with strangers, with themselves. Humans are social animals, and although modern societal values have driven us away from socializing, we all, deep down, want to reconnect with each other (yes I'm trying to sound like a telco commercial), and pokemon go gives people an excuse to gather together and have fun! Its a good thing! I had so much fun with people the past few days even though I'd love nothing more than to sit alone in my room and type a thousand word rant about pokem--- er
Its also a good thing that my phone's GPS is kinda wonky (especially in the vicinity, or in, high rise buildings - it bugs out and my avatar runs around randomly and I can get access to pokestops next door without moving from my room/office. I also get to hatch a ton of eggs without getting up from my chair. LOL ^O^v
2) its another quick, happy source for an endorphin shot :D (or was it dopamine? i dunno man, i returned all my science to my teachers wtf)
Waiting at a lured pokestop, anticipating what pokemon will pop, and when it pops, the excitement of bashing the screen to spawn the catch screen, and the fun fun fun (i'm not sarcastic, the pokeball throw mechanic is my favorite thing in this game - CURVE SHOTS FTW) catch shot, the excitement of the ball rolling (tho if you look at the 'save' cursor on the top left, you'll know if you got it or not really - unconfirmed) and anticipation of when you get to catch it or not, and YAY I CAUGHT IT! \^O^/ *screenshot share on facebook*
Its like getting an orgasm every few minutes. I'm a guy, so I don't have the pleasure (^_~) of knowing how that feels.. One of the reasons why I wish I were a girl, really (but lets not go down that rabbit hole.. geddit, hole?)
So... TL;DR - pokemon go sucks balls as a *pokemon* _AR_ game, but its a cool GPS game that will hopefully open the door to many more fun mobile games (especially from AAA developers!!) FORGET ABOUT ALL YOUR PETTY CONSOLE WARS! NINTENDO! GET YOUR HEAD OUT OF YOUR HANDHELD ARSE (unless the NX is the second coming, but that is a post for another day.. probably after it actually anounces) AND LOOK AT THE 200 MILLION THIS STUPID MOBILE GAME BUILT ON NOSTALGIA MADE!!! EVERY_ SINGLE_ TARGET_ CUSTOMER_ OF_ YOURS_ HAS A MOBILE PHONE. MAKE A GOOD GAME ON MOBILE = PRINTING MONEY $_____$ I WANT TO GIVE YOU MY MONEY!! MAKE US HAPPY \*O*/ PREY ON OUR NOSTALGIA!! WE HAVE JOBS AND CREDIT CARDS NOW LOL
(and no, I am not being sarcastic. I really do hope actual triple A games will come to mobile (whether its phones or holo lenses or contact lenses or brain implants) my body - and wallet! - is ready :D)
I'm sorry