One of the big toys this year is something called a
Fijit Friend. They seem to be something like a more advanced
Furby, and as many of you out there know, the Furby invasion was most devastating indeed.
While looking into the whole...Fijit Friend thing, I went to the actual site, and discovered that these so called "Fijit Friends", much like the Furby of yesteryear, are not quite so innocent and adorable as one might think. (For something in between a Furby and Fijit Friend,
My Keepon seems to be another big toy this year. Also? I am not so certain it does not also possess the ability to utterly destroy humanity should it decide we have outlived our usefulness.)
Chats, Jokes, but Never Argues!
In other words, your Fijit Friend will put up with you and your crap until you make it mad, then it will simply destroy you. :D
Your Fijit Friend detects the beat of any external music you play and dances to it! When she hears a tune, she identifies the music beat and adjusts her dance timing to match. So it doesn't matter if you're a fan of rock, country or even opera, your Fijit Friend loves it all and is ready to groove to it with her hilariously fidgety body!
However, if you are not a fan of those kinds of music your Fijit Friend will have no choice but to destroy you! :DD
Your Fijit Friend also has her own favorite tunes! She contains internal music that she is excited to share with you… so are you ready to show off your best moves?
Well are you? If not, your Fijit Friend will have no choice but to destroy you. :DDD
Your Fijit Friend has a uniquely soft and squishy body, just made for hugging and tickling! The elastic quality of her skin makes her movements look natural… and fidgety!
This so-called "skin" is extremely disturbing and unsettling to the touch. Multiple people have commented on it, many claiming, "We have created an abomination unto man!" and "What have we done? What have we done?" and "We've gone too far!" among other things. Really though. It's cool. :DDDD
There's a section on how to talk to your Fijit Friend that warns against hurting her feelings or yelling at her (lest she destroy you), but I found this piece of "advice" to be most alarming:
Chat with her as you would any friend… you should naturally hit upon keywords that cause her to respond. However, if you need a little help, be sure to check out the cheat sheet below.
Keywords? What kind of keywords? Something like, "Destroy all mankind?" or "Enslave humanity?", perhaps? Possibly even, "Arm eye lasers?" Whatever the answer may be, I doubt it will be good, or that humanity will be able to overcome our new robot overlords. All hail the Fijit Friends!
...:DDDDD
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