So this, okay. This has been sitting in my WiP folder for a while now because it's pretty much ridiculousness all over the place and has no actual plot-thing attached. Mostly it is me indulging myself and laughing like a demented hyena because that's just how I roll.
Danny walks into the warehouse and creeps along the outer wall until he hears voices. Still, he doesn't let his guard down until he rounds a stack of crates and sees for himself that, no, this is not a situation that requires the careful application of guns and bullets and in the event Steve gets his hands free a grenade or two. No, this is just a very, very fucked up family affair and oh, God, he's never going to hear the end of it from Steve.
Putting the safety on and holstering his gun, Danny takes a moment to call Kono and let her know that he found Steve and the cavalry isn't needed, that things are in well in hand. Naturally, she thinks something's happened, that Danny got grabbed too and someone is holding a gun to his head, making him tell her this, so he breaks out the code words, which finally convinces her.
Now that he knows they aren't going to be interrupted by half of HPD and Kono and Chin storming the warehouse to rescue Steve, Danny walks around the crates and into view, not bothering with things like stealth and silence. "Frankie," Danny starts, knowing Bob and Ray have to have known he's been there for at least the past five minutes. "What have I told you about listening to these guys?"
Frank's playing the tough this time around, arms covered in tattoos crossed over his chest, ridiculous sunglasses that probably belong to Gerard covering half his face. Frank grins at him and shrugs. He'll go along with Gerard and Mikey most times because it can, on occasion, lead to wacky shenanigans, but mostly because he's just as unhinged as they are.
Gerard looks put out, the beginnings of a pout on his face and Mikey... Mikey looks like he always does. Bob and Ray are standing just out of the circle of light cast by the single overhead light, looking kind of bored and a little like maybe they can't believe this shit is happening even though they have to know better by now.
Steve, though. Steve has this utterly priceless expression of confusion on his face. "Hey, Steve," Danny greets, walking closer to make sure Steve didn't hurt himself when he was grabbed. "I see you met the family." Danny pauses, thinks about it. "Part of the family." Gerard and Mikey are cousins several times removed, but they knew each other growing up well enough for Gerard and Mikey, mostly Gerard, Danny guesses, since he's a melodramatic bastard, to be concerned about Danny's life and the people in it and actually do something about it if he thinks something needs to be done.
Danny waits a beat, waits until what he just said sinks in, Steve's eyes going from Danny to the others and back, and then there's a couple of minutes of his confused-but-thinking face, which Danny knows will take a while.
"Seriously," Danny says, looking at Gerard. "You guys couldn't, I don't know, not kidnap this guy here? He's kind of a police officer, and I'm pretty sure that's against the law." Actually no, it's very much against the law, which doesn't make allowances for fucking insane relatives, even though it really, really should.
"Ma's worried about you," Gerard says, which is both the truth and a lie.
Danny's willing to bet Aunt Donna's worried about him, but probably not to the degree that she wanted Gerard and Mikey and the rest to kidnap his partner to interrogate him as to whether or not Danny's happy in Hawaii, if he's eating enough or getting enough sleep or using sunscreen.
"Well, she is," Gerard says, when he gets a look at Danny's face, sounding for all the world like the little kid Danny used to hang out with at family gatherings, even though they're both in their thirties.
Danny shakes his head and glances at Steve who's watching them, trying to figure out what the hell is going on and still looks mildly confused.
"You guys just about done here?" Danny asks.
Gerard shoots a look at Mikey who does a complicated shrug. "Yeah," Gerard says, looking at Steve. "We should probably get back to the hotel, Brian's going to be mad enough as it is."
Danny winces at that. He may be a cop, may have gone up against murderers and actual psychos a time or two, but he'd take all of that over a pissed off Schecter any day. "Good luck with that," he says.
Gerard makes a face like he knows how fucked he is, but then smiles, eyes flicking towards Steve before he grins, and oh, God.
"Shut it," Danny says, pointing at him. "Seriously, Gerard. I don't even want to hear it." Like Gerard has room to talk with Frankie right there.
Gerard laughs, that messed up donkey-thing of his that Danny didn't realize he missed so much, and hugs him before leaving. Mikey gives him a hug, and apologizes for Gerard even though it doesn't sound like much of one with him laughing like that, but whatever. Frankie smirks and slaps him on the shoulder and Danny sees a little too much of his own exasperated fondness in Frank's expression. Bob and Ray just shrug apologetically when they go by, and then it's just Danny and Steve tied up to a chair and Christ, Danny has no idea what the hell he ever did to deserve this kind of crazy in his life. If it's not coming from Steve, it's his family.
"You want to maybe get out of here now?" Danny asks, hitching a thumb over his shoulder. "I know you could have gotten out of those ropes at any time you wanted." Gerard likes to do things the dramatic way, which apparently means kidnapping Danny's partner to have The Talk, but he's crap at knots and Steve is Steve. If Steve hasn't made an attempt to escape it's because he's trying to figure out what the hell is going on, or is maybe too amused by what's going on to do so.
Steve grins at Danny as he holds his hands up, rope slithering across one wrist to fall on the floor. Fucking show off.
They stop by HQ to prove to Kono and Chin that Steve's fine, not a mark on him before heading out to Steve's place for explanations and beer, not necessarily in that order.
Aside from reassuring Kono and Chin that he really is fine, that no one needs to be punched in the face on his behalf - and God, what does it say about their lives that they actually get offers like that - Steve hasn't really said anything about the whole being kidnapped by Danny's relatives thing.
He's actually starting to wonder just what Gerard and the others might have said to Steve, or asked him, or rambled on about in the couple of hours Steve was missing.
"Hey," Danny calls, digging through the kitchen drawers for the bottle-cap opener. "Where the hell is your bottle-cap opener?"
Steve comes into the kitchen, freshly showered and amused as all hell - whether at Danny's inability to find a simple bottle-cap opener or the bizarreness of his day, Danny doesn't know.
"What?" Danny asks, when Steve just stands there smiling at him. It's a little disturbing, actually. "No, seriously, what?"
Steve crowds Danny against the counter and looks at him, all fondness and affection. "So I met your family today," he says, like Danny's insane family didn't kidnap him and take him to a secluded warehouse to ask him what his intentions towards Danny are.
"Really." Danny's trying not to let the fact that having Steve right there in his face, chest brushing his, arms on either side of him with his hands on the counter is getting to him show. He suspects, going by the way Steve smirks at him, that he's not all that successful. "I hadn't noticed that part."
Steve moves closer. "They seem nice," Steve says.
Danny's eyes narrow. "Really."
Steve nods, earnest and sincere, and there's only so much Danny can take. "Oh, fuck you," he mutters, and reaches up to grab Steve's face in his hands and does his best to kiss the smug bastard out of Steve. It's a tough job but someone has to do it, and if it's something that's going to take a while to do, Danny figures he can handle it.
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