(no subject)
Argh. Family politics suck.
Brian's more than ready to have his regular adult body back, if only to have a fair shot at beating Frank's stupid face at Guitar Hero. He can't risk breaking Frank's face when his livelihood depends on countless teenage girls swooning over it and gushing about the way Frank's hair looks, the stupid clothes he chooses to wear, (and goddamn, what the hell is up with that lately?), and the way he's determined to look like someone's insane grandfather in a foreign film.
So.
When he gets dragged along on little excursions by whoever's watching him he tends to tune out what's going on at grownup level and pays more attention to what Frank, again, the little shit, calls ground level.
Which is how he gets into trouble the one time Cortez takes him to the mall when the band's doing a show because Gerard said the Superman shirt was hurting his soul - everyone knows he has a shriveled, blackened, very artistic soul, so it's not like Brian cares - but Frank had backed him up.
Bob had locked himself in the bus bathroom and Ray had slammed the door to the studio after dragging Mikey in with him to keep Mikey from having to intervene or make things worse in the epic "Batman vs Godzilla vs Robots vs Brian Couldn't Give a Damn" battle brewing between Gerard and Frank.
The thing is, Brian's heard all the warnings and cautionary tales, he's given a simplified version of them once or twice himself because his band might as well be toddlers half the time, but.
He still can't believe what he's hearing when some guy sidles up to a little girl outside the store and says, "Want some candy?"
Brian looks around for Cortez, but he's busy in the store making the purchases, Brian doesn't know what they ended up getting and doesn't care, and there aren't any other people around.
The girl's parents are nowhere to be found and it's late enough in the day that the people wandering the mall are tired and cranky and bothered more with their own business than paying attention to two little kids and the seriously creepy fucker in the trenchcoat, and god, Brian had thought that was just a movie thing.
"Matt!"
Cortez doesn't hear him, but the creepy fucker does, and he looks up, right at Brian.
Brian swears and runs over to the little girl, skidding to a stop in his stupid Disney sneakers and grabs her hand, trying to tug her away from the guy. He makes sure to keep himself in front of her the whole time even though she's actually taller than him, but she's a real kid and he's. He's seriously in trouble when the guy makes a try for them.
Brian shoves the girl back far enough to keep them away from him because he knows from experience going up against Frank in his stupid kid's body that he's too damn small and just doesn't have the coordination in his stupid little kid body to do any real damage.
"Matt!"
Cortez hears him this time, or maybe it's the edge of panic in his voice and the little girl's scream because the creepy fucker tries another desperate grab at them and Brian - he can see people coming over to see what's going on - Brian pushes the girl back as hard as he can and darts forward and bites down hard on the creepy fucker's hand to keep him from getting away.
The guy swears and tries to shake him off, but Brian bites down harder, he's fucking pissed and this guy was trying to kidnap a little kid and goddamn, that shit just doesn't fly, and then Cortez is there with mall security and a hell of a lot of pissed off people.
Brian tastes blood in his mouth just as Cortez pulls him off the guy and Brian fights to get back at him, swearing and kicking and he can barely see he's so fucking angry, but Cortez pulls him into a stupidly tight hug and Brian squeaks in surprise.
"What the - "
"Christ, Schechter," Cortez hisses, and Brian tries to pull away to see his face, but Cortez won't let him and Brian just sags against his neck, letting his head drop onto his shoulder.
"Fucking asshole tried to - "
"I know," Cortez says, and Brian should, he really fucking should be annoyed at the way Cortez rubs his back, the way all the guys except Mikey have over the past week to calm him down, to get him fucking down for fucking nap time. "It's okay."
Brian sighs and turns his head to see the little girl staring at him with wide, wide eyes from where one of the mall security guards has her up on his hip, and thinks, yeah, okay. Okay.
====
====
The others won't let him out of their sight after that, but Brian thinks it's maybe going a little too fucking far when Frank and Cortez show up with a stupid fucking child harness and leash.
"Dude," Frank says, "your parents would kill us if we lost you."
He's laughing when he says it, but Brian sees the real worry in his eyes, and the way the others are even more careful with him now. Before it was fucking hilarious that he was in a little kid's body, but now.
Gerard's on a mission to find out what the fuck happened to make him like this, Ray and Bob are doing the actual research, and Brian's just really fucking tired of it all.
So of course, of course Mikey comes on the bus one day and says, "Brian, you've got a visitor."
Everyone looks up from what they're doing at Brian who is so not coloring in the Batman coloring book someone bought, and hastily shoves the box of crayons away from him.
"What?"
Mikey breaks out into a smile and opens the door and -
"Brian!"
And the little girl from the mall flings herself at him, smiling and laughing and bubbling over with fucking joy and lays a big fat kiss on his cheek. To his growing horror she starts babbling about him being her hero and wanting to marry him while the others crack up and start laughing like fucking idiots.
The little girl, "Hi, I'm Amy!", looks a little worried when he just stands there, arms at his side and absolutely no fucking idea what to do or how to react because seriously, nothing in life has ever prepared him for shit like this.
Mikey clears his throat and gives him this look and Brian rolls his eyes and cautiously hugs her back. He can't help it, though, when she whispers a shaky little thank you in his ear if he tightens his arms around her and, seriously, to hell with his guys.
Amy giggles and gives him another kiss on the cheek. When he looks up he sees that her parents are talking to Gerard and the others, and he knows that Amy's not going to let go anytime soon.
No one's really paying attention to them anymore, except for Mikey and Frank, and even then it's just to smirk or make over exaggerated kissy faces at them. At him. Brian swears vengeance when he's back to normal and sighs when Amy pokes at the stupid fake tattoo on his neck Frank put on him when he was asleep.
Frank, Brian promises to himself, is going to be in deep, deep shit when Brian's back to normal.
“Want to color?” Brian asks, and smiles when Amy beams and hops up next to him and starts telling him all about the kind of wedding they're going to have.
Brian's more than ready to have his regular adult body back, if only to have a fair shot at beating Frank's stupid face at Guitar Hero. He can't risk breaking Frank's face when his livelihood depends on countless teenage girls swooning over it and gushing about the way Frank's hair looks, the stupid clothes he chooses to wear, (and goddamn, what the hell is up with that lately?), and the way he's determined to look like someone's insane grandfather in a foreign film.
So.
When he gets dragged along on little excursions by whoever's watching him he tends to tune out what's going on at grownup level and pays more attention to what Frank, again, the little shit, calls ground level.
Which is how he gets into trouble the one time Cortez takes him to the mall when the band's doing a show because Gerard said the Superman shirt was hurting his soul - everyone knows he has a shriveled, blackened, very artistic soul, so it's not like Brian cares - but Frank had backed him up.
Bob had locked himself in the bus bathroom and Ray had slammed the door to the studio after dragging Mikey in with him to keep Mikey from having to intervene or make things worse in the epic "Batman vs Godzilla vs Robots vs Brian Couldn't Give a Damn" battle brewing between Gerard and Frank.
The thing is, Brian's heard all the warnings and cautionary tales, he's given a simplified version of them once or twice himself because his band might as well be toddlers half the time, but.
He still can't believe what he's hearing when some guy sidles up to a little girl outside the store and says, "Want some candy?"
Brian looks around for Cortez, but he's busy in the store making the purchases, Brian doesn't know what they ended up getting and doesn't care, and there aren't any other people around.
The girl's parents are nowhere to be found and it's late enough in the day that the people wandering the mall are tired and cranky and bothered more with their own business than paying attention to two little kids and the seriously creepy fucker in the trenchcoat, and god, Brian had thought that was just a movie thing.
"Matt!"
Cortez doesn't hear him, but the creepy fucker does, and he looks up, right at Brian.
Brian swears and runs over to the little girl, skidding to a stop in his stupid Disney sneakers and grabs her hand, trying to tug her away from the guy. He makes sure to keep himself in front of her the whole time even though she's actually taller than him, but she's a real kid and he's. He's seriously in trouble when the guy makes a try for them.
Brian shoves the girl back far enough to keep them away from him because he knows from experience going up against Frank in his stupid kid's body that he's too damn small and just doesn't have the coordination in his stupid little kid body to do any real damage.
"Matt!"
Cortez hears him this time, or maybe it's the edge of panic in his voice and the little girl's scream because the creepy fucker tries another desperate grab at them and Brian - he can see people coming over to see what's going on - Brian pushes the girl back as hard as he can and darts forward and bites down hard on the creepy fucker's hand to keep him from getting away.
The guy swears and tries to shake him off, but Brian bites down harder, he's fucking pissed and this guy was trying to kidnap a little kid and goddamn, that shit just doesn't fly, and then Cortez is there with mall security and a hell of a lot of pissed off people.
Brian tastes blood in his mouth just as Cortez pulls him off the guy and Brian fights to get back at him, swearing and kicking and he can barely see he's so fucking angry, but Cortez pulls him into a stupidly tight hug and Brian squeaks in surprise.
"What the - "
"Christ, Schechter," Cortez hisses, and Brian tries to pull away to see his face, but Cortez won't let him and Brian just sags against his neck, letting his head drop onto his shoulder.
"Fucking asshole tried to - "
"I know," Cortez says, and Brian should, he really fucking should be annoyed at the way Cortez rubs his back, the way all the guys except Mikey have over the past week to calm him down, to get him fucking down for fucking nap time. "It's okay."
Brian sighs and turns his head to see the little girl staring at him with wide, wide eyes from where one of the mall security guards has her up on his hip, and thinks, yeah, okay. Okay.
====
====
The others won't let him out of their sight after that, but Brian thinks it's maybe going a little too fucking far when Frank and Cortez show up with a stupid fucking child harness and leash.
"Dude," Frank says, "your parents would kill us if we lost you."
He's laughing when he says it, but Brian sees the real worry in his eyes, and the way the others are even more careful with him now. Before it was fucking hilarious that he was in a little kid's body, but now.
Gerard's on a mission to find out what the fuck happened to make him like this, Ray and Bob are doing the actual research, and Brian's just really fucking tired of it all.
So of course, of course Mikey comes on the bus one day and says, "Brian, you've got a visitor."
Everyone looks up from what they're doing at Brian who is so not coloring in the Batman coloring book someone bought, and hastily shoves the box of crayons away from him.
"What?"
Mikey breaks out into a smile and opens the door and -
"Brian!"
And the little girl from the mall flings herself at him, smiling and laughing and bubbling over with fucking joy and lays a big fat kiss on his cheek. To his growing horror she starts babbling about him being her hero and wanting to marry him while the others crack up and start laughing like fucking idiots.
The little girl, "Hi, I'm Amy!", looks a little worried when he just stands there, arms at his side and absolutely no fucking idea what to do or how to react because seriously, nothing in life has ever prepared him for shit like this.
Mikey clears his throat and gives him this look and Brian rolls his eyes and cautiously hugs her back. He can't help it, though, when she whispers a shaky little thank you in his ear if he tightens his arms around her and, seriously, to hell with his guys.
Amy giggles and gives him another kiss on the cheek. When he looks up he sees that her parents are talking to Gerard and the others, and he knows that Amy's not going to let go anytime soon.
No one's really paying attention to them anymore, except for Mikey and Frank, and even then it's just to smirk or make over exaggerated kissy faces at them. At him. Brian swears vengeance when he's back to normal and sighs when Amy pokes at the stupid fake tattoo on his neck Frank put on him when he was asleep.
Frank, Brian promises to himself, is going to be in deep, deep shit when Brian's back to normal.
“Want to color?” Brian asks, and smiles when Amy beams and hops up next to him and starts telling him all about the kind of wedding they're going to have.