Fic?
Hahaha. Okay, so I was going to work on my space pirates story and see if I could post it today (even though there's like, no pirate-y dialogue in it whatsoever), but realized that no, that wouldn't work so much as it's turning out to be longer than expected. So. Um. I wrote this instead? It's totally lame, but whatever, right? Awesome. I can't even think of a proper title for this because, um. Yes. Also, did I mention that's pretty much pointless?
Slight McKay/Sheppard if you want to look at it that way, or it could just be Sheppard messing with Rodney, whichever makes you happy. :D
Lorne doesn't think much of it when he finds Sheppard in his office with one eye squeezed shut and -
"Arrr!"
Lorne doesn't even bat an eye, just holds out the stack of folders in his hands. "The files you wanted, sir."
Sheppard sighs, and Lorne feels kind of bad because he looks dejected and maybe a little bit like the kid picked last for kickball.
"Sir?"
"It's the nineteenth," Sheppard says as he takes the files from him, and it isn't the words so much as the way he says it, as though the date has some sort of significance Lorne isn't aware of. He thinks back, tries to remember if there was something in the reports before he was assigned to Atlantis, maybe something you wouldn't notice if you didn't know to read between the lines.
He can't think of anything, so he's careful, so, so careful when he asks. "The nineteenth, sir?"
Sheppard nods, drops the files on his desk and turns his chair to face the wall. "Yeah, you know. Talk Like a Pirate Day?"
Lorne has one of those moments, not quite a light bulb going on as, well. He got his first taste of it at the SGC, and he pretty much knew his first day in Atlantis that he was going to have a lot of them. A lot.
"And you're?"
Sheppard shrugs, glances at him over his shoulder, still with that hangdog expression. "Well it's not like there are any English-to-Pirate courses out there." He says, like that explains everything, and Lorne's kind of horrified, in a very understated way, to find it does. Obviously, he's been here too long.
"Okay." Lorne says, and he doesn't really know what he's trying to say, it's just... "Okay."
Sheppard looks at him and Lorne shrugs. "Have you talked to McKay about this?"
Honestly, he doesn't think McKay really cares about Talk Like a Pirate Day, but he suspects he might come up with something, if only to keep Sheppard from doing that pouting thing. That thing he's doing right now, in fact.
"He kicked me out of his lab earlier."
Lorne raises an eyebrow, sensing there's more to the story and Sheppard slumps further in his chair, refusing to meet his eyes.
"I might have had a stuffed parrot at the time." He mutters, flicking a quick look up at him before finding the little pile of paperclip men on his desk utterly fascinating. "And an eyepatch."
“Ah.”
“Yeah.”
Lorne frowns, tells that last sane part of his mind to shut up and tries to think of a solution. “Zelenka?”
“Gave me the parrot.” Sheppard says, with a faint smile, and Lorne finds himself smiling back because yeah. Zelenka's usually good for stuff like that.
Lorne's about to say something, he really doesn't know what, just something, because Sheppard's still pouting and it's hard to ignore, when his office door opens.
“God, you're...seriously, are you seven?”
McKay's standing in the open doorway looking annoyed and maybe, possibly, a little resigned. Lorne hides a smile when Sheppard sits up in his chair, and, seriously, Lorne always thought it was just a saying, his face lights up.
“All right, all right, look.” McKay says, glancing at Lorne before he turns his focus to Sheppard. “I don't know what's gotten into my entire department today, but everyone's going around with those abominable parrots and various paraphernalia talking like bad movie clichés.”
Lorne's biting the inside of his cheek to keep from smiling because McKay looks like he'd love nothing better than to go off on one of his tirades.
“And obviously whatever's happened has infected Zelenka, because he's been working with Teyla and Ronon on some sort of thing on the mainland.”
Sheppard's silent for a moment, and then he cocks his head to the side. “What sort of thing?”
McKay sighs and shakes his head. “I don't know but he mentioned something about grog? To be honest I think he's finally lost it this time, but - “
“Yeah?”
There's another heavy sigh, and Lorne is carefully not looking at either of them.
“Do you want to go or not, Sheppard?”
Sheppard frowns, rubs his chin as though he's honestly thinking about it, and looks over at Lorne. “I don't know, I've got a lot of paperwork to catch up on...”
Lorne recognizes his cue when he hears it. “I could take care of for you, if you'd like, sir.”
He's not being selfless, just practical. If he doesn't offer to handle the paperwork Sheppard's likely to break out the eyes right along with the pout, and Lorne has yet to meet someone who's immune to both.
“If you're sure?” Sheppard's already half out of his seat, so Lorne smiles and shakes his head.
“It's fine, sir.”
Sheppard looks hard at him, and Lorne smiles his most pleasant smile, the one that gives away absolutely nothing. “Really, sir. It's no trouble.”
Sheppard grins and claps his hands together, this look of utter glee on his face when he looks at McKay.
“Don't even.” McKay warns, voice level, but Sheppard completely ignores him as he ushers him from the office, saying something about his Roger being Jolly that Lorne's pretty sure he wasn't supposed to hear.
He settles himself in Sheppard's chair, and looks at the folders on Sheppard's desk, the tiny little paperclip men, and decides that maybe Atlantis won't be so bad after all.
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The line Lorne hears Sheppard saying to Rodney at the ends is a TLAPD pickup line that you can find here (#10 on the list. :D)
P.S. Please to be ignoring the whole posted after midnight thing. Pretend it's TLAPD all over again, even, if you want. :)
Slight McKay/Sheppard if you want to look at it that way, or it could just be Sheppard messing with Rodney, whichever makes you happy. :D
Lorne doesn't think much of it when he finds Sheppard in his office with one eye squeezed shut and -
"Arrr!"
Lorne doesn't even bat an eye, just holds out the stack of folders in his hands. "The files you wanted, sir."
Sheppard sighs, and Lorne feels kind of bad because he looks dejected and maybe a little bit like the kid picked last for kickball.
"Sir?"
"It's the nineteenth," Sheppard says as he takes the files from him, and it isn't the words so much as the way he says it, as though the date has some sort of significance Lorne isn't aware of. He thinks back, tries to remember if there was something in the reports before he was assigned to Atlantis, maybe something you wouldn't notice if you didn't know to read between the lines.
He can't think of anything, so he's careful, so, so careful when he asks. "The nineteenth, sir?"
Sheppard nods, drops the files on his desk and turns his chair to face the wall. "Yeah, you know. Talk Like a Pirate Day?"
Lorne has one of those moments, not quite a light bulb going on as, well. He got his first taste of it at the SGC, and he pretty much knew his first day in Atlantis that he was going to have a lot of them. A lot.
"And you're?"
Sheppard shrugs, glances at him over his shoulder, still with that hangdog expression. "Well it's not like there are any English-to-Pirate courses out there." He says, like that explains everything, and Lorne's kind of horrified, in a very understated way, to find it does. Obviously, he's been here too long.
"Okay." Lorne says, and he doesn't really know what he's trying to say, it's just... "Okay."
Sheppard looks at him and Lorne shrugs. "Have you talked to McKay about this?"
Honestly, he doesn't think McKay really cares about Talk Like a Pirate Day, but he suspects he might come up with something, if only to keep Sheppard from doing that pouting thing. That thing he's doing right now, in fact.
"He kicked me out of his lab earlier."
Lorne raises an eyebrow, sensing there's more to the story and Sheppard slumps further in his chair, refusing to meet his eyes.
"I might have had a stuffed parrot at the time." He mutters, flicking a quick look up at him before finding the little pile of paperclip men on his desk utterly fascinating. "And an eyepatch."
“Ah.”
“Yeah.”
Lorne frowns, tells that last sane part of his mind to shut up and tries to think of a solution. “Zelenka?”
“Gave me the parrot.” Sheppard says, with a faint smile, and Lorne finds himself smiling back because yeah. Zelenka's usually good for stuff like that.
Lorne's about to say something, he really doesn't know what, just something, because Sheppard's still pouting and it's hard to ignore, when his office door opens.
“God, you're...seriously, are you seven?”
McKay's standing in the open doorway looking annoyed and maybe, possibly, a little resigned. Lorne hides a smile when Sheppard sits up in his chair, and, seriously, Lorne always thought it was just a saying, his face lights up.
“All right, all right, look.” McKay says, glancing at Lorne before he turns his focus to Sheppard. “I don't know what's gotten into my entire department today, but everyone's going around with those abominable parrots and various paraphernalia talking like bad movie clichés.”
Lorne's biting the inside of his cheek to keep from smiling because McKay looks like he'd love nothing better than to go off on one of his tirades.
“And obviously whatever's happened has infected Zelenka, because he's been working with Teyla and Ronon on some sort of thing on the mainland.”
Sheppard's silent for a moment, and then he cocks his head to the side. “What sort of thing?”
McKay sighs and shakes his head. “I don't know but he mentioned something about grog? To be honest I think he's finally lost it this time, but - “
“Yeah?”
There's another heavy sigh, and Lorne is carefully not looking at either of them.
“Do you want to go or not, Sheppard?”
Sheppard frowns, rubs his chin as though he's honestly thinking about it, and looks over at Lorne. “I don't know, I've got a lot of paperwork to catch up on...”
Lorne recognizes his cue when he hears it. “I could take care of for you, if you'd like, sir.”
He's not being selfless, just practical. If he doesn't offer to handle the paperwork Sheppard's likely to break out the eyes right along with the pout, and Lorne has yet to meet someone who's immune to both.
“If you're sure?” Sheppard's already half out of his seat, so Lorne smiles and shakes his head.
“It's fine, sir.”
Sheppard looks hard at him, and Lorne smiles his most pleasant smile, the one that gives away absolutely nothing. “Really, sir. It's no trouble.”
Sheppard grins and claps his hands together, this look of utter glee on his face when he looks at McKay.
“Don't even.” McKay warns, voice level, but Sheppard completely ignores him as he ushers him from the office, saying something about his Roger being Jolly that Lorne's pretty sure he wasn't supposed to hear.
He settles himself in Sheppard's chair, and looks at the folders on Sheppard's desk, the tiny little paperclip men, and decides that maybe Atlantis won't be so bad after all.
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The line Lorne hears Sheppard saying to Rodney at the ends is a TLAPD pickup line that you can find here (#10 on the list. :D)
P.S. Please to be ignoring the whole posted after midnight thing. Pretend it's TLAPD all over again, even, if you want. :)