Backed myself into yet another corner...
well I don't know where to begin. My two accounts are possibly over drawn. I'm starting to feel Paniced about getting this paperwork done... Since I can't do anything until the paperwork is done...Not sure how else to fix this. I really don't wanna ask anyone for help but at this point it doesn't seem like my brainpower is gonna save me from this one. I guess I should take this apart one by one.
My account, my debit account, Is overdrawen because... One i made all these online payments and for some odd reason they took longer then normal. Then all of a sudden EVERYTHING came out at once...when it shouldn't of. Because funds wern't in there for the first overdrawn..cuz for some retarded reason my credit card tried to process teh payment an hour before my job deposited the money, it screwed up there. Then it just got worse from there. My mom constantly pursading me into buying stuff like gas and food really did me in when my savings was pretty low to begin with. Its kinda hard to say no to her when she did pick me up from work all the time. I guess I felt accountable for everything too. so now because of all that, my account is overdrawn by 137 dollars... LEarned you can't take money off of a credit card to cover it... so meh.
Second, These papers need to be done asap... I only have until August 31st or else I will be deported. I'm really scared becauce I really love staying here, For once in my life I can actually say I am happy. Kaleb is the only person i've ever been with where I haven't argued, I mean yes He has made me upset a few times but...Doesn't last long. Cuz I know he always comes through. Friend of mine suggested That I get him to help me with my fincancial problems but... I don't know If I can ask him that...I'd feel extremely bad... I mean hes taking care of me already sorta feels like were married or something. Which isn't a bad thing... i'm happy with him... I just sometimes feel like maybe he isn't with me..
I try so hard to please people That it sorta hurts for me to ask for help I guess. I'd feel like a burden. I really want to get a job...really badly so I can fix all of this on my own.. if time permits anyway... My first few paychecks I may never see...but I really want to pull through. Now that i sit here and think about it, I feel even worse not even telling Kaleb any of this... My troubled feelings are starting to show... I'm craving food more then i usually do... Having horrible dreams.. Kaleb asked me if i slept ok since I kept twitching and stuff in my sleep... Which i think is why he didn't get a lot of sleep...
How Do I fix this... My mom said she would help but all she has been doing is bitching at me the last few days. Just making me feel worse as she always does. I'm tempted to go to my dad about this but... I don't want to make him upset. He has so much faith and hope in me... but I guess if i'm in trouble he should know too. Its only fair since my mom loves to shadow him out of everything. Hes had a bad back and stuff too lately... I don't know if I could really let him worry.
I'm so confused... I don't know what else to do...I feel so hopeless and weak... but I feel even worse Everytime I have to pick up the phone and listen to my mom... she makes everything so much worse. shes sorta responsible for what i'm like this anyway... but I guess I could of told her no... so its not fair for me to blame her for this. I just had bad timing I guess.. But I just wish all this was gone... But I do know one thing for a fact, I want to stay by his side.. I don't want to lose him at all. Even If I have to go through hard times, only way I know I will make it through them is if i know hes there... I don't want to worry him tho..
I hope something happens...That makes things better.
My account, my debit account, Is overdrawen because... One i made all these online payments and for some odd reason they took longer then normal. Then all of a sudden EVERYTHING came out at once...when it shouldn't of. Because funds wern't in there for the first overdrawn..cuz for some retarded reason my credit card tried to process teh payment an hour before my job deposited the money, it screwed up there. Then it just got worse from there. My mom constantly pursading me into buying stuff like gas and food really did me in when my savings was pretty low to begin with. Its kinda hard to say no to her when she did pick me up from work all the time. I guess I felt accountable for everything too. so now because of all that, my account is overdrawn by 137 dollars... LEarned you can't take money off of a credit card to cover it... so meh.
Second, These papers need to be done asap... I only have until August 31st or else I will be deported. I'm really scared becauce I really love staying here, For once in my life I can actually say I am happy. Kaleb is the only person i've ever been with where I haven't argued, I mean yes He has made me upset a few times but...Doesn't last long. Cuz I know he always comes through. Friend of mine suggested That I get him to help me with my fincancial problems but... I don't know If I can ask him that...I'd feel extremely bad... I mean hes taking care of me already sorta feels like were married or something. Which isn't a bad thing... i'm happy with him... I just sometimes feel like maybe he isn't with me..
I try so hard to please people That it sorta hurts for me to ask for help I guess. I'd feel like a burden. I really want to get a job...really badly so I can fix all of this on my own.. if time permits anyway... My first few paychecks I may never see...but I really want to pull through. Now that i sit here and think about it, I feel even worse not even telling Kaleb any of this... My troubled feelings are starting to show... I'm craving food more then i usually do... Having horrible dreams.. Kaleb asked me if i slept ok since I kept twitching and stuff in my sleep... Which i think is why he didn't get a lot of sleep...
How Do I fix this... My mom said she would help but all she has been doing is bitching at me the last few days. Just making me feel worse as she always does. I'm tempted to go to my dad about this but... I don't want to make him upset. He has so much faith and hope in me... but I guess if i'm in trouble he should know too. Its only fair since my mom loves to shadow him out of everything. Hes had a bad back and stuff too lately... I don't know if I could really let him worry.
I'm so confused... I don't know what else to do...I feel so hopeless and weak... but I feel even worse Everytime I have to pick up the phone and listen to my mom... she makes everything so much worse. shes sorta responsible for what i'm like this anyway... but I guess I could of told her no... so its not fair for me to blame her for this. I just had bad timing I guess.. But I just wish all this was gone... But I do know one thing for a fact, I want to stay by his side.. I don't want to lose him at all. Even If I have to go through hard times, only way I know I will make it through them is if i know hes there... I don't want to worry him tho..
I hope something happens...That makes things better.