Aerith
I've been slowly working through this for a long time now and I think I'm finally ready to put my thoughts down when it comes to Aerith. Or more specifically Clerith from Aerith's perspective. Warning, what lies ahead is a bit depressing and my opinion only so take it for what it's worth. Not to mention, I did it at 4 in the morning and the writing's clunky.
First, let me state what I consider fanon. In fanon, Aerith crushed on Cloud because he was similar to Zack and, once she died and found Zack, her crush on Cloud changed to a maternal emotion and she and Zack are now forever free to frolic their soul mate way through the Lifestream.
I like fanon.
I just don't think it's canon.
Let me start by again dividing fanon from canon when it comes to Aerith's personality. Aerith was a good person. She was friendly, helpful, honestly sweet and kind. She was also stubborn, determined and a bit self-centered. She was not fanon's 'saint' nor was she selfless. She was known to blatantly disregard other people's feelings in favor of her own from time to time (Barret at the Gold Saucer after his very emotional browbeating by the Coral refugees for example). And, yes, she and Tifa were friends but she also ignored or intentionally ran over Tifa's feelings regarding Cloud (best example is the whole 'tell me if Cloud and I are the perfect couple' to Cait Sith in the Temple of the Ancients when, if you chose her for your party, Tifa is standing right there and even turns away with a huff). Aerith is a good person but she's also human. Having lived all her life having to rely on only herself and on the run from the Turks (and AVALANCHE in it's early stages) she had to be self-focused and take care of herself first. I also believe she was a very emotionally hurt woman by the time the video game started.
So let's begin at the beginning. Crisis Core. Zack falls through the ceiling of Aerith’s church and their sweet, teenage romance begins. He's her first love and he's Zack in all his charming, ‘do anything for you’ glory. She falls hard for him. I don't think there's any debate over that. Years later, her adopted mother will call Zack the one that broke Aerith's heart and will worry that it will happen again, indicating that when it happened it wrecked Aerith enough emotionally that her mother never wanted to see her suffer like that again. Zack goes on a mission, promises to come back to see her - and disappears. She spends over four years writing letters to him. That's not a crush that's going away easily. She has no closure, she's still waiting for him to come back, she's wearing pink and his ribbon in anticipation of the day. And then, finally, one day, as anyone would - she gives up. Her last letter goes out into the world and she forces herself to deal with the 'he's not coming back'. She even has her moment in the church when he dies. Zack was obviously a monumentally important part of her life, one she expected to last and one that had/has a profound impact on who she is by the time the original game begins. There is absolutely no doubt in my mind that she loved him and loved him the whole-hearted and once in a lifetime way that only teenagers/first loves can.
Fast-forward a bit to the original game. Cloud falls through the roof of her church and within a minute or two of his waking up, she's hitting him up for a date. Him. A complete stranger she doesn’t know from anyone. And, to me, more telling still, is the question of why she didn't do that when she first saw him. This isn't their first interaction. He bought (or didn't) a flower from her just a few days ago. She even remembers him from it. And yet - she didn't latch on to him at the flower selling point. She didn't even ask what his name was. She simply sold the blond guy a flower and went on her merry way without a backward glance. So why now - suddenly - is she all about keeping him close? To me, the obvious answer is - because this is what we need to do to move the game along. But, if we’re treating the characters like characters with depth, I would say the manner in which he arrived this time is the trigger point. Cloud has just, unintentionally, pulled a 'Zack' - and it won't be the last time that he does. To my mind, Aerith suddenly sees not a spiky blond haired short guy but rather an opportunity. This is a repeat of an event in her life that led to something she wants to not only have again but also, this time, she doesn’t want to lose. Zack fell through her roof, she loved Zack, Zack disappeared. Cloud falls through her roof - but perhaps this time she can keep the good part and stop the disappearing part from happening. Aerith is a strong willed and determined girl. This was her second chance at something that was precious and defining to her. It's not Zack but at the moment, that's not the point. The point is that she's been given a strange opportunity to do things over and make sure they turn out right this time. To me, she's not seeing Cloud when they’re first in the church. She's seeing 'falling through the roof, spiky hair, SOLDIER uniform, mako eyes' guy. Cloud is not a person to her at this point so much as an opportunity. One she's desperate to take advantage of so that she can, finally after all these years, 'fix’ things. Cloud has become in essence, Mr. 'Fill in the Space’. She teases, she flirts, she demands, she basically bosses him into going home with her and then spending the night. It doesn't matter what you say in the game at this point and whether you indicate you're already with Tifa or not - Aerith is not letting Cloud out of her sight. She's not letting Cloud out of her sight to the point that when Cloud sneaks out of her house and heads off to Tifa's on his own, she stalks him! (nice change, eh, Cloud you underwear stealing, teenage stalker, you). You can't ditch Aerith at this point in the game and the reason for that is entirely driven by her. She even goes so far as to bring Cloud to the playground and call a specific stop there - the place of her first date with Zack. She's got a map in her head and she's going to make every single stop along the way to make sure she does it right this time. She's almost frantic in her determination not to let things mess up and she even goes so far as to dismiss her previous relationship with Zack and indicate he's probably off somewhere surrounded by bikini clad women and no matter which canon you pick from (either she's surprised he's dead in Maiden or knows he's dead in Crisis Core) that dismissal goes against the faith of 89 letters over a course of four years. At that point though, this isn't about Zack, it's about setting up her new relationship so that it mimics the one she's missed and never got closure for all those years ago. Zack’s unexplained disappearance from her life hurt Aerith and she's determined not to let the opportunity for a ‘do over’ to pass her by. This time she isn’t going to be passive and she isn’t going to sit and wait for her sweetheart to come back to her.
(lacking any proof or research, I do wonder, given how often Cloud and Tifa say each other’s names during this part of the game, how often Aerith says Cloud’s)
As such, you can see that at this time she's not enamored with Cloud himself. He mocks her on the rooftops. She doesn't care where he wants to go or who he wants to get back to. And she basically drives the entire cross dressing incident (though I don't think that's malicious so much as Aerith finally having someone who will let her get away with her own mischievous, possibly kinky self). I would actually argue that, at this point in the game, she’s more interested in knowing about Tifa than she is about Cloud, taking the time to sound out the other woman on her feelings for Cloud and hitting it off with Tifa friendshipwise almost straight from the start for example. Cloud's a thing to her, an item, a means to an end and strangely, I think if he hadn't been, this entire part of the game could have been the beginning of a friendship between them and possibly the beginning root for something more. This is the part where Aerith is spunky and brave and generous with her help - she really shines as who she really is and it would have been the perfect opportunity. Except Aerith isn't interested in Cloud at this point and she doesn't really see him when they're together. He's still a situation, not a person, to her, something to be used, not interacted with. She dresses him up, she teases him, she's the mover at this point in the game and she’s not interested in anyone else’s plan but her own. I think his physical habits that are mimics of Zack’s only subconsciously feed her approach to attempting to use him to remake the past in the present.
(I will also insert here that I have never felt that Cloud imitates Zack’s personality - or else he’s the worse mimic of ‘cheerful, enthusiastic, friendly, outgoing puppy’ that’s ever existed. He picked up Zack’s physical habits - the personality he begins with strikes me much more as what a young boy would think a tough, competent mercenary SOLDIER would display. I digress.)
I don’t think Aerith’s view of Cloud as an abstract stays that way for long for her though. To me, purely based on my interpretations of her actions, it seems that, after he’s come for her in the Shinra tower, Aerith seems less manic in her clinging to him. She’s still determined, she’s coy and insinuating when she reminds him of the date in the jail cells and then surprised and almost embarrassed when Tifa is there to hear it. However she’s also more open about who she is, about her own insecurities and, to me, she seems more human and approachable at that point - the Aerith shining through isn’t always pink and perfect and powerful, isn’t always in control. I think, for the first time, Cloud has, in coming for her, made himself ‘real’ to her and I think that when she looks at him, she sees someone now instead of just a placeholder. He’s stepped outside of things she could slap ‘Zack’ over and moved into new territory. She’s still determined to have him as her boyfriend but I think the overlap between her living in her past and her moving into the present starts at that point in the game.
To me, the next big jump in her thoughts regarding Cloud romantically must occur somewhere close to the ‘date’ at the Gold Saucer. If you get Aerith for that, she will spend it talking about her ex. I suspect that meeting Zack’s parents in Gongaga visibly shook her and forced her to start dealing with what was really going on inside of her - and by extension what exactly she was feeling for Cloud. I believe that by the Gold Saucer date, Aerith is coming to terms with the fact that Cloud is very much his own person and that wanting to recreate what she had with Zack may not in fact be what she wants at all anymore. The Cloud she knows is fractured and has episodes of insanity but she’s finally paying enough attention to realize that underneath that, and his masks, is someone she would like to get to know for himself, not for his similarities to Zack. She’s finally at the point where she wants to figure him out for himself and just himself. She’s finally starting to think about having a healthy relationship with him.
And then she dies.
Aerith never does get to actually know the true Cloud. She can only watch from the outside as he’s put back together inside the Lifestream and begins to function as himself afterward. According to fanon, she’s proud of Cloud, and her death and reunion with Zack mellow her into motherly feelings toward the blond, a benign guardian angel to watch over him and the rest of her friends. She’s back with her first love and that’s where she always wanted to be in the first place, having only loved Cloud for the Zack she saw in him.
I think canon disagrees.
I think canon disagrees during the game itself and that the date at the Gold Saucer is the biggest indication of that. I think her coming to him in his dream and telling him she’d make things right and stop Sephiroth is also an indication she knew he wasn’t Zack as well as showing the fact that she cared about him as he was, messed up and fractured. I don't think she would have approached Zack the same way if he had been in Cloud's place. And I think her smile at the end when he came for her in the City of Ancients was just for Cloud because she knew he’d come - because he was Cloud. Zack never did come for her. Cloud did consistently. If we take Lifestream White into account (and forgive me I’ve only read it once, it was terrible writing) - I believe Cloud is referred to as her ‘sweetheart’ (the possessive being on her part. Cloud’s sweetheart preference isn’t indicated in LSW). Zack isn’t given that title. In fact, he isn’t mentioned much at all if I remember properly and when Aerith thinks of a male fondly, it’s Cloud she’s wondering if she can touch. If we treat Maiden the Travels the Planet as canon (and ugh, if even SE doesn’t, than thank God I don’t have to either) - Cloud is once again given the title of her sweetheart and Zack gets even worse treatment. Cloud is the one that Aerith’s focus comes back to time and again in the written material, not Zack. In Advent Children Complete, the ‘this is the way it should be’ rewrite of Advent Children, the ending departure order is even changed with Zack no longer following Aerith out of the building like an escort but rather going first and fading as she lingers and then departs as well, two separate entities going their own way.
I could write an entirely different argument regarding Cloud’s feelings throughout all of this of course. My main point would be that he wasn’t himself until his dip into the Lifestream and that after that, he immediately moves to stay with Tifa and talks about letting Aerith go (unfreezing her smile and letting her fade into the Lifestream) to the point that the next time he anticipates seeing her will be when he dies and goes to the Promised land (which, at that point in the game, seemed to him to be the next minute or two and Tifa’s right next to him anticipating dying too). Cloud’s sweetheart I think is very obvious and very canon as well. And, in a way, that makes Aerith’s choosing him over Zack even more tragic and hopeless for her.
Aerith is a strong woman with her own mind and I believe that according to canon by the end of her life, she'd come to a conclusion about where her heart had gone. I think it's canon that Aerith was unrequitedly in love with Cloud and that, by the end of her life, she had let both the pain, and her first love, for Zack fade into comfortable acceptance... which is why I like to stick with fanon and leave everyone happy and where they belong at the end of the story. To me, Aerith's tragedy isn't that she died. It's that she fell in love with someone who's heart has him thinking of her as his 'mother' when she touches him.