Secrets of Lumber
as of late mom's been staying up until around 3. she wakes me up, gives me a snack and goes to bed.
which is total crap.
i like the snack part but her mother gets up at 4 so there is nothing for me to do for an hour and no point in getting back to bed.
ive been using the time to work on my plans for world domination. i find that i do my best thinking when i have something to chew on. since there is no one to stop me i've begun a Reign Of Terror on household objects. I started with rubber gloves but they tasted of latex and only bitches and hos like that. then i grabbed a pen, i thought i'd write out my plans for a doggie deathstar but preferred chewing on it to writing. i broke it down to a series of one inch chunks that i left in an i-ching pattern expressing my discontent on the carpet.
last night i couldn't find anything to write with so i thought i'd just mull things over with something nice and solid. i tried to find a cigar to smoke but couldn't quite get the humidor open. damn them and their opposable thumbs! instead i grabbed a 1 x 1 mr. dad had left by the fire place. it turns out that lumber is made of sticks! i spent the next hour or so plotting against the japanese government while chewing on it. i arranged the pieces i broke off to reflect the position of the boats in okinawa. mom vacuumed them up before i located another pen - damn it!
i've heard that i will be shut in "my house" tonight so they can contain my efforts. fools.
which is total crap.
i like the snack part but her mother gets up at 4 so there is nothing for me to do for an hour and no point in getting back to bed.
ive been using the time to work on my plans for world domination. i find that i do my best thinking when i have something to chew on. since there is no one to stop me i've begun a Reign Of Terror on household objects. I started with rubber gloves but they tasted of latex and only bitches and hos like that. then i grabbed a pen, i thought i'd write out my plans for a doggie deathstar but preferred chewing on it to writing. i broke it down to a series of one inch chunks that i left in an i-ching pattern expressing my discontent on the carpet.
last night i couldn't find anything to write with so i thought i'd just mull things over with something nice and solid. i tried to find a cigar to smoke but couldn't quite get the humidor open. damn them and their opposable thumbs! instead i grabbed a 1 x 1 mr. dad had left by the fire place. it turns out that lumber is made of sticks! i spent the next hour or so plotting against the japanese government while chewing on it. i arranged the pieces i broke off to reflect the position of the boats in okinawa. mom vacuumed them up before i located another pen - damn it!
i've heard that i will be shut in "my house" tonight so they can contain my efforts. fools.