The "Controversial" Meme
[01] Do you have the guts to answer these questions and re-post this as "The Controversial Meme?"
This has always seemed so laughably America-centric and poorly-worded that I'd be amazed if it could offend anybody. Except, of course, by its annoying omnipresence - which is what's causing me to fill it out now.
[02] Would you do meth if it was legalized?
Man I don't even smoke or drink, and I'm a college student. Why would I want to do something that's supposed to make your teeth fall out?
[03] Abortion: for or against it?
As somebody with a distinct lack of a uterus, I don't feel it's my place to decide what other people should do with their uterus. I don't think that anybody should be allowed to tell them what to do with their uterus, actually. There are generally better options than abortion, but making it illegal isn't one of them.
[04] Do you think a country would fail with a female president?
Only for five days out of every month.
Why is this a question you would even ask.
[05] Do you believe in the death penalty?
Actually, I stopped believing in the death penalty around the same time I stopped believing in the Tooth Fairy. For similar reasons, as it turns out.
[06] Do you wish marijuana would be legalized already?
YES. And heavily taxed. I still wouldn't do it, though, which makes me the black sheep of long-haired, goateed college-aged musicians everywhere.
[07] Are you for or against premarital sex?
I'm all for it. Or at least, I'd like to be, but nobody's taken me up on it yet.
[08] Do you believe in God?
Nope! Not gonna pussyfoot around this one. I think that the idea of anthropomorphizing the entire universe and giving it human characteristics is an inherently vain one; if any religion's got it right, I wouldn't say it's one of the Abrahamic ones. As long as people are living their lives happily and kind-heartedly, though, who cares about the methods?
I find I get irritated with atheists and agnostics just as much as I do with actual religious folk - if not more, because there's added shame involved. People on both sides of the fence need to realize that being caustic does not a solution make. Recently I was pretty steamed when an agnostic made the claim that atheism is based on faith as much as theism is, when I think it's only fair to chalk it up to a disturbing lack of faith. To me, it's reminiscent of the idea that in order to be "balanced", a news station has to get a soundbite from an expert and then one from a moron contrarian. The only thing worse than refusing to ever change your opinion is refusing to ever have one.
[09] Do you think same sex marriage should be legalized?
No, because I hate tax-paying couples, and I love telling people that their love for each other is illegitimate.
Alternate answer: Yes. In fact, I think that they should be mandatory. Every straight couple needs to instantly divorce and marry somebody of the same sex.
This question pisses me off so much, because I haven't heard a good argument against it that isn't unconstitutional, that I have a hard time answering it seriously.
[10] Do you think it's wrong that so many Hispanics are illegally moving to the USA?
Maaan, this was a nation that was practically founded on illegal immigration.
I got no opinions on this one because it does not personally effect me, sorry. I live too far away from the hotspots of immigration, and the jobs that they're "taking" aren't jobs that I (or pretty much any angry white person) would want anyway.
Instead of deporting them when we find them we should force them to gain citizenship, then tie them up and make them pay taxes.
[11] A twelve year old girl has a baby, should she keep it?
First of all this question is poorly worded and has like fifty interpretations and was basically written by an idiot.
Actually you know what, I think in this case it's actually more productive to get riled up over the stupid question than to get riled up over this imaginary preggers preteen. For fuck's sake, you might as well have said "My D&D character has this moral dilemma." Pardon me while I try to summon the ability to give a damn about the problems of people who don't even exist.
[12] Should the alcohol age be lowered to eighteen?
No! Because when you're 18, 19, and 20, you are stupid as fuck. Also for a good period of time before you're 18 and after you're 20 as well, but that's not at issue here. If you were able to get a bunch of grumpy old people to pass the "Make College, Like, Totally Awesome" Bill and make this happen, then DUI/DWI and alcohol-related deaths and accidents would skyrocket like a million billion percent. Of course this is all conjecture oh wait no it actually happened.
In countries where it has always been 18, yes, we have 18-year-olds who drink without having the whole country totally flip the fuck out. However, between the mess that would occur if states had different drinking ages, plus the naturally embedded "WOOO PARTY" impulse, lowering the drinking age would only spell trouble.
Making it illegal, at the very least, forces people to be discreet.
[13] Should the war in Iraq be called off?
Yup. War's over everybody go home. There will be no ramifications of instantly pulling out no sir.
This is sort of a damned-if-you-do-damned-if-you-don't situation. I'm not going to pretended I'm informed enough to know about the delicacies of the situation and be able to make a good decision, so let's just say that I'm for whatever gets people to stop dying the fastest.
[14] Assisted suicide is illegal: do you agree?
Yes, I agree that assisted suicide is illegal, because it is hard to disagree with a goddamned factual statement. Seriously, get an editor.
Regular old suicide is illegal, too, which I think is worth mentioning here. (The idea is that if you fuck up your suicide, you can be given treatment and not have a damn say in the matter.)
Suicide is a pretty lousy idea in most cases anyway? The other reason why it's illegal is not for you, it's for your friends and family that you'd leave behind. But honestly, if you're thinkin' "Please kill me now" and your family agrees with "Kill the poor bastard", just let them pull the plug. Isn't there protection for mercy killings?
[15] Do you believe in spanking your children?
Hit the little bastards over and over again.
Would it be too difficult to ask that we find a style of parenting that's somewhere between abusive and spoiling? Like, is it too demanding of me to ask that you not screw up your kids?
[16] Would you burn an American flag for a million dollars?
You had me at "burn an American flag"! Just because I'd want to burn the flag doesn't mean I'd show the same disrespect or pyromania towards the entire nation. You might project symbolism onto the act, and you'd probably be forgiven for doing so - but for me, a burnt flag means nothing more than a burnt flag. Doesn't that Bible thing I keep hearing about have something to say about idol worship?
But wow! If I could get somebody to pay me a million dollars for burning a flag? Fuck, I'd burn five!
[17] Who do you think would have made a better president? McCain or Obama?
I think we should have brought FDR back from the dead and given him a fourth term.
You know, as long as we're dealing in hypotheticals.
[18] Are you afraid others will judge you from reading some of your answers?
Not anybody that matters to me!
This has always seemed so laughably America-centric and poorly-worded that I'd be amazed if it could offend anybody. Except, of course, by its annoying omnipresence - which is what's causing me to fill it out now.
[02] Would you do meth if it was legalized?
Man I don't even smoke or drink, and I'm a college student. Why would I want to do something that's supposed to make your teeth fall out?
[03] Abortion: for or against it?
As somebody with a distinct lack of a uterus, I don't feel it's my place to decide what other people should do with their uterus. I don't think that anybody should be allowed to tell them what to do with their uterus, actually. There are generally better options than abortion, but making it illegal isn't one of them.
[04] Do you think a country would fail with a female president?
Only for five days out of every month.
Why is this a question you would even ask.
[05] Do you believe in the death penalty?
Actually, I stopped believing in the death penalty around the same time I stopped believing in the Tooth Fairy. For similar reasons, as it turns out.
[06] Do you wish marijuana would be legalized already?
YES. And heavily taxed. I still wouldn't do it, though, which makes me the black sheep of long-haired, goateed college-aged musicians everywhere.
[07] Are you for or against premarital sex?
I'm all for it. Or at least, I'd like to be, but nobody's taken me up on it yet.
[08] Do you believe in God?
Nope! Not gonna pussyfoot around this one. I think that the idea of anthropomorphizing the entire universe and giving it human characteristics is an inherently vain one; if any religion's got it right, I wouldn't say it's one of the Abrahamic ones. As long as people are living their lives happily and kind-heartedly, though, who cares about the methods?
I find I get irritated with atheists and agnostics just as much as I do with actual religious folk - if not more, because there's added shame involved. People on both sides of the fence need to realize that being caustic does not a solution make. Recently I was pretty steamed when an agnostic made the claim that atheism is based on faith as much as theism is, when I think it's only fair to chalk it up to a disturbing lack of faith. To me, it's reminiscent of the idea that in order to be "balanced", a news station has to get a soundbite from an expert and then one from a moron contrarian. The only thing worse than refusing to ever change your opinion is refusing to ever have one.
[09] Do you think same sex marriage should be legalized?
No, because I hate tax-paying couples, and I love telling people that their love for each other is illegitimate.
Alternate answer: Yes. In fact, I think that they should be mandatory. Every straight couple needs to instantly divorce and marry somebody of the same sex.
This question pisses me off so much, because I haven't heard a good argument against it that isn't unconstitutional, that I have a hard time answering it seriously.
[10] Do you think it's wrong that so many Hispanics are illegally moving to the USA?
Maaan, this was a nation that was practically founded on illegal immigration.
I got no opinions on this one because it does not personally effect me, sorry. I live too far away from the hotspots of immigration, and the jobs that they're "taking" aren't jobs that I (or pretty much any angry white person) would want anyway.
Instead of deporting them when we find them we should force them to gain citizenship, then tie them up and make them pay taxes.
[11] A twelve year old girl has a baby, should she keep it?
First of all this question is poorly worded and has like fifty interpretations and was basically written by an idiot.
Actually you know what, I think in this case it's actually more productive to get riled up over the stupid question than to get riled up over this imaginary preggers preteen. For fuck's sake, you might as well have said "My D&D character has this moral dilemma." Pardon me while I try to summon the ability to give a damn about the problems of people who don't even exist.
[12] Should the alcohol age be lowered to eighteen?
No! Because when you're 18, 19, and 20, you are stupid as fuck. Also for a good period of time before you're 18 and after you're 20 as well, but that's not at issue here. If you were able to get a bunch of grumpy old people to pass the "Make College, Like, Totally Awesome" Bill and make this happen, then DUI/DWI and alcohol-related deaths and accidents would skyrocket like a million billion percent. Of course this is all conjecture oh wait no it actually happened.
In countries where it has always been 18, yes, we have 18-year-olds who drink without having the whole country totally flip the fuck out. However, between the mess that would occur if states had different drinking ages, plus the naturally embedded "WOOO PARTY" impulse, lowering the drinking age would only spell trouble.
Making it illegal, at the very least, forces people to be discreet.
[13] Should the war in Iraq be called off?
Yup. War's over everybody go home. There will be no ramifications of instantly pulling out no sir.
This is sort of a damned-if-you-do-damned-if-you-don't situation. I'm not going to pretended I'm informed enough to know about the delicacies of the situation and be able to make a good decision, so let's just say that I'm for whatever gets people to stop dying the fastest.
[14] Assisted suicide is illegal: do you agree?
Yes, I agree that assisted suicide is illegal, because it is hard to disagree with a goddamned factual statement. Seriously, get an editor.
Regular old suicide is illegal, too, which I think is worth mentioning here. (The idea is that if you fuck up your suicide, you can be given treatment and not have a damn say in the matter.)
Suicide is a pretty lousy idea in most cases anyway? The other reason why it's illegal is not for you, it's for your friends and family that you'd leave behind. But honestly, if you're thinkin' "Please kill me now" and your family agrees with "Kill the poor bastard", just let them pull the plug. Isn't there protection for mercy killings?
[15] Do you believe in spanking your children?
Hit the little bastards over and over again.
Would it be too difficult to ask that we find a style of parenting that's somewhere between abusive and spoiling? Like, is it too demanding of me to ask that you not screw up your kids?
[16] Would you burn an American flag for a million dollars?
You had me at "burn an American flag"! Just because I'd want to burn the flag doesn't mean I'd show the same disrespect or pyromania towards the entire nation. You might project symbolism onto the act, and you'd probably be forgiven for doing so - but for me, a burnt flag means nothing more than a burnt flag. Doesn't that Bible thing I keep hearing about have something to say about idol worship?
But wow! If I could get somebody to pay me a million dollars for burning a flag? Fuck, I'd burn five!
[17] Who do you think would have made a better president? McCain or Obama?
I think we should have brought FDR back from the dead and given him a fourth term.
You know, as long as we're dealing in hypotheticals.
[18] Are you afraid others will judge you from reading some of your answers?
Not anybody that matters to me!