From a while back
I had started using wordpress and I wanted to re-post something from there on here. I just can't use that fancy-schmancy wordpress...give me my lj any day. Although I'm actually pretty awful at updating it. This is from July 2009.....
it is now two seconds past 40 mins past an hour after i sat in the back room of my church holding my best friend's hand as she cried.
approximately 18 minutes prior to this, her father actually had the audacity to sit at the same table as her, next to her even, and in no uncertain terms, tell her that her mother isn't good enough for him. (i was at this table too, and if God hadn't blessed me with the ability to keep my mouth shut and my fists clenched, he would probably have gotten to eat a stilleto sandwich. gift of discernment indeed!)
in certain ways, it made me realize how lucky i am. i'm lucky that my dad realized early enough that he wasnt happy with my mother and instead of burying it, hoping it would go away, he took off and left behind her and his family. and 5 dogs. but he left us before it got worse.
i know what it feels like to hate my father. i can remember hearing him say less-than-desirable things about my mother, but to be honest to him, at the times he said the things, she probably deserved it. my mother was not at all mentally balanced during that whole time and did many things i know she regrets. but that's beside the point. i can remember hearing my dad say these things and telling him earnestly, emotionally to shut up! and getting smacked for telling my father to shut up. despite all of this, i cannot find a way to imagine how my best friend feels. so all i can do is put my arm around her and tighten my hold on her as i feel her shake and break down.
this would be a good case for debate. i dont believe in divorce and neither does my future husband. (that doesn't mean i condemn those who have chosen divorce- my parents are divorced and my best friend is divorced) but here is an example of a couple who should have never gotten married in the first place. of course, i am eternally thankful that they did, otherwise i wouldn't have my best friend.
but truly, what are you supposed to do with a husband who literally presses himself against the wall to avoid brushing his wife as they pass in the hallway? who hasnt said a nice word to his wife in years, much less given her any physical affection? obviously, this is not a Godly way of treating a spouse, but what do you do with him? what can be done?
and whats more, how did this happen? how is God at work here? from what i've heard, their courtship was completely normal and his apparent distaste and disatisfaction started after the vows were said. why would you marry someone you werent attracted to? and the scariest thing, if he did it and my best friend's ex-husband did it, then truly, how do you spot one? someone so dishonest that their whole life, or what they lead you to believe is their life, is a complete lie?
i cant say anything. i certainly dont want that but i'd be naive if it never crossed my mind. it has. but i love deeply and faithfully and I have faith in my God and faith in my future husband. Truthfully, that's all I can have.
it is now two seconds past 40 mins past an hour after i sat in the back room of my church holding my best friend's hand as she cried.
approximately 18 minutes prior to this, her father actually had the audacity to sit at the same table as her, next to her even, and in no uncertain terms, tell her that her mother isn't good enough for him. (i was at this table too, and if God hadn't blessed me with the ability to keep my mouth shut and my fists clenched, he would probably have gotten to eat a stilleto sandwich. gift of discernment indeed!)
in certain ways, it made me realize how lucky i am. i'm lucky that my dad realized early enough that he wasnt happy with my mother and instead of burying it, hoping it would go away, he took off and left behind her and his family. and 5 dogs. but he left us before it got worse.
i know what it feels like to hate my father. i can remember hearing him say less-than-desirable things about my mother, but to be honest to him, at the times he said the things, she probably deserved it. my mother was not at all mentally balanced during that whole time and did many things i know she regrets. but that's beside the point. i can remember hearing my dad say these things and telling him earnestly, emotionally to shut up! and getting smacked for telling my father to shut up. despite all of this, i cannot find a way to imagine how my best friend feels. so all i can do is put my arm around her and tighten my hold on her as i feel her shake and break down.
this would be a good case for debate. i dont believe in divorce and neither does my future husband. (that doesn't mean i condemn those who have chosen divorce- my parents are divorced and my best friend is divorced) but here is an example of a couple who should have never gotten married in the first place. of course, i am eternally thankful that they did, otherwise i wouldn't have my best friend.
but truly, what are you supposed to do with a husband who literally presses himself against the wall to avoid brushing his wife as they pass in the hallway? who hasnt said a nice word to his wife in years, much less given her any physical affection? obviously, this is not a Godly way of treating a spouse, but what do you do with him? what can be done?
and whats more, how did this happen? how is God at work here? from what i've heard, their courtship was completely normal and his apparent distaste and disatisfaction started after the vows were said. why would you marry someone you werent attracted to? and the scariest thing, if he did it and my best friend's ex-husband did it, then truly, how do you spot one? someone so dishonest that their whole life, or what they lead you to believe is their life, is a complete lie?
i cant say anything. i certainly dont want that but i'd be naive if it never crossed my mind. it has. but i love deeply and faithfully and I have faith in my God and faith in my future husband. Truthfully, that's all I can have.