(no subject)
A…”friend” once asked me, “would you rather have smart friends or nice friends”, and after a moment I said- “Nice friends”.
And then he just smiled at me and nodded and said, “You have your priorities in the wrong place.”
He said something like, “You need to be around people who challenge you, who you’ll learn something from.” Etc.
And he only said it once, but I’m not kidding when I say… that… kind of fucked me up. Just a bit.
The way that person talked about talking to other people made it seem like interacting with other people was…a project.
“These people contribute nothing to me as a person and are therefore useless to me”, is the way he thought.
And looking back on it, it just…really disturbed me. It just…thinking of it that way is just wrong. …To me. It’s creepy to me.
Friends shouldn’t be a chore. It’s not an obligation. It’s just…it can’t be that, can it?
I hate the word “useless”. I hate calling people “useless”.
People aren’t there to entertain you or be consumed, we are here the way we are. If we’re here for any reason for each other it’s to keep us from feeling alone. …Right?
People aren’t here for /you/. Are they?
I had this brief period where I deliberately tried to be friends with people who made me miserable, who made me depressed, and whenever I was upset I wondered if it was because I was too weak to handle true intelligence.
Because I thought emotional pain was like physical pain, and if you’re hurting that just means you’re learning.
By physical pain I mean the kind you get after exercise, haha. ^^;
I don’t know if by trying to cut myself off from that kind of thinking these days I’m coddling myself.
I have to handle being stupid and happy. I’m not strong enough to survive being truly smart.
And then he just smiled at me and nodded and said, “You have your priorities in the wrong place.”
He said something like, “You need to be around people who challenge you, who you’ll learn something from.” Etc.
And he only said it once, but I’m not kidding when I say… that… kind of fucked me up. Just a bit.
The way that person talked about talking to other people made it seem like interacting with other people was…a project.
“These people contribute nothing to me as a person and are therefore useless to me”, is the way he thought.
And looking back on it, it just…really disturbed me. It just…thinking of it that way is just wrong. …To me. It’s creepy to me.
Friends shouldn’t be a chore. It’s not an obligation. It’s just…it can’t be that, can it?
I hate the word “useless”. I hate calling people “useless”.
People aren’t there to entertain you or be consumed, we are here the way we are. If we’re here for any reason for each other it’s to keep us from feeling alone. …Right?
People aren’t here for /you/. Are they?
I had this brief period where I deliberately tried to be friends with people who made me miserable, who made me depressed, and whenever I was upset I wondered if it was because I was too weak to handle true intelligence.
Because I thought emotional pain was like physical pain, and if you’re hurting that just means you’re learning.
By physical pain I mean the kind you get after exercise, haha. ^^;
I don’t know if by trying to cut myself off from that kind of thinking these days I’m coddling myself.
I have to handle being stupid and happy. I’m not strong enough to survive being truly smart.