Reality check.
Allright, I know I'm depressed right now. ...But I just want to get a reality check so I can keep it all in perspective...
- I've just re-quit smoking. I find it hard to maintain the same level of sanity, but feel the health benefits of quitting are worth it. But it's still no fun...
- Due to the nature of my job, and the need for the money, I'm working a LOT of hours... As a result I screwed up and fucked up school. ...Again... I've got a plan to work things out, but I seriously can't fuck up again... It's getting depressing.
- The one girl that had any interest in me just e-mailed me after about a week of not talking to tell me she has a bf, now... So, once again I'm painfully single and... ...Heh... I don't know... My lack of any dating luck has just gotten to the point where "bad" doesn't BEGIN to describe it!!!!!!! >.<*** Why the fuck can't I ever seem to be the object of anyone's affection?! *sigh* .....Sorry... But I've pretty much been single since January and I can't figure out why... I know I don't get out as often as most, but still... I've hit clubs, I've tried looking at school, I've tried looked elsewhere, I've even fucking tried online! ...And no one... EVER... Is interested in me...
- My sis is going through some rough times. I have faith in her ability to pull through, but it's hard to not be brought down when someone so close is having such a rough go. I love her very much and am trying to help as much as I can... I just hope she sees that she'll be ok...
- My mother and step-dad are... .........Troubled. Mom's prolly gonna give me a huge response explaining her side of the situation, even though I've already talked to her... ...Bear might even reply with a "this has no place on lj," but it does... I admit that I'm afraid of ANY possibility of my parents getting divorced! It's a scary fucking notion to even entertain in passing, but the word has surfaced before... And even if they're working things out, I'm shaken...
- I've been playing my basses each for at least an hour for the past few days. The middle finger of my fret hand is starting to hurt... ...A lot... It's been affecting how I play. I don't know if my band has picked up on it, but it's been nagging me... It might be a result from when I broke my arm over the summer, so I've been doing some streatches and exercising it a lot. ...But when you're already bummed our and it hurts to play your pride and joy? It's a fucking slap in the face!
I'm so tired of trying to focus on the good things right now and trudging through it... So I need SOME validation... I'm not asking for anyone to fix my life, I'm just asking for someone to tell me exactly how upset I'm allowed to be with my situation. ...Cause I know that it would be unrealistic to just say everything's Peachy Keen and walk off...
Thanks...