finding happiness in all the bad jokes of the world
-"that the two are intertwined so intimately that one is different from the other only in name: suffering and beauty, together. But, I know then that my suffering is so small and the beauty is so great that were I to let that suffering overcome me, it would be an insult to the universe itself, and at that moment, whenever I am fortunate enough for that moment to occur I know that with whatever strength I have I must lift myself up and stare into the vastness of our sky and become washed clean by the love I have of this greatest miracle: the amazement I feel to participate in this existence, this life.
A life whose explanation is tragically never sought in my mundane world of cars and bills but only now, when the sheer vastness of reality envelopes me in an embrace, only now do I understand the impossibility of cars and bills, the mystery of their genesis and perpetuation. When the time comes to once again join the world of suffering I can, at least for a short time, smile at the world. And I smile with tears in my eyes for its miracles. But slowly, the world of suffering distracts me and I once again fall, and my soul slumbers"
-Deò from Deò's Shadow (podcast), episode 12
You ask me why I'm so happy all the time, why I laugh so hard at every joke, why I look lost sometimes--this is why.
I think that normal people are exactly like how Deò describes above, everynow and then they'll suddenly see the amazement of the world.
But, see, it's the opposite for me. I must be distracted to find the ground, how caught up I am in our amazement at all the life around me, how wonderful each leaf is as it curves its own unique path through the air--for a moment displacing the tiny mass that air still has on its slow progress towards the grounding earth.
And then, when I do finally find where my own life is in this chaos of bright colors and singing voices, when I finally find where it is that I start and everything else continues, that's when I get hit with all the backlogged suffering that I didn't feel while overcome with the world's happiness.
So I'll chose rather to go be distracted by the world's infinite astoundments, then to be plowed over and over by the small but greatly felt suffering of one.
And you ask why I laugh at every joke, finding amusement in strange things? Perhaps it's because from the way I see the world, everything is amazing and wondrous.
Perhaps it's just because I'm insane.
You know, one or the other.
A life whose explanation is tragically never sought in my mundane world of cars and bills but only now, when the sheer vastness of reality envelopes me in an embrace, only now do I understand the impossibility of cars and bills, the mystery of their genesis and perpetuation. When the time comes to once again join the world of suffering I can, at least for a short time, smile at the world. And I smile with tears in my eyes for its miracles. But slowly, the world of suffering distracts me and I once again fall, and my soul slumbers"
-Deò from Deò's Shadow (podcast), episode 12
You ask me why I'm so happy all the time, why I laugh so hard at every joke, why I look lost sometimes--this is why.
I think that normal people are exactly like how Deò describes above, everynow and then they'll suddenly see the amazement of the world.
But, see, it's the opposite for me. I must be distracted to find the ground, how caught up I am in our amazement at all the life around me, how wonderful each leaf is as it curves its own unique path through the air--for a moment displacing the tiny mass that air still has on its slow progress towards the grounding earth.
And then, when I do finally find where my own life is in this chaos of bright colors and singing voices, when I finally find where it is that I start and everything else continues, that's when I get hit with all the backlogged suffering that I didn't feel while overcome with the world's happiness.
So I'll chose rather to go be distracted by the world's infinite astoundments, then to be plowed over and over by the small but greatly felt suffering of one.
And you ask why I laugh at every joke, finding amusement in strange things? Perhaps it's because from the way I see the world, everything is amazing and wondrous.
Perhaps it's just because I'm insane.
You know, one or the other.