Marauder Banter
Title: Marauder Banter
Genre: Harry Potter, Marauder-Era
Rating: PG14
Pairings: vague James/Lily, any others are unintentional.
Summary: Remus tries to get a decent photo of all the Marauders, during Seventh Year, randomness ensues. Purely Dialogue.
Dedication: To Jackie, for causing this. I blame you
“Sirius! Stop pulling my hair!”
“Oh stop being a girl, Prongs. You know you like it.”
“I swear, if you two screw up this photo, I’m going to murder you both.”
“Oh Moony, you couldn’t ever kill Padfoot.”
“Don’t push me, Wormtail, or you’ll be on my list as well.”
“Shutting up!”
“Doesn’t anyone love me?”
“Oh go snog Lily, you bloody ponce.”
“Aw, Moony’s all angry and adorable!”
“Padfoot. Shut. Up. Now.”
“Psh. Everyone loves me.”
“Okay everyone smile.”
-FLASH-
“PADFOOT. My hair, please!
“Sure thing, Prongs.”
“YOW. I didn’t mean pull harder you twit. Let go!”
“Aw but it’s how I show that I luuuuuve you.”
“Wormtail, kick Padfoot for me.”
“Okay.”
“Ow! That was me, Peter!”
“Sorry, Moony.”
“OW. Wormtail!”
“Sorry, sorry. Stop moving Padfoot.”
“Yea, ‘cause I’m really going to LET you kick me, Wormy.”
“ It’s Wormtail, not Wormy!”
“Oh c’mon, we gave you the nickname, we can shorten it if we like.”
“You know, Peter, Wormy isn’t any better then Wormtail.”
“Moony, you’re not helping.”
“But I LIKE my nickname.”
“…”
“Because it represents my anim- MRFT!”
“Dearest Messer Wormy, you know better then to say such things aloud in public.”
“Sorry, Prongs.”
“Psh, I like Wormtail better then Wormy too. Wormy implies we feed him worms or something, then people would start feeding them to starving people to gain the same weight as our Wormtail has.”
“…”
“What?”
“Padfoot. I think I speak for everyone when I say, keep your insanity to yourself.”
“Aw Moony, you know you have enough insanity for all of us, what with all your books.”
“That doesn’t even make sense, Pads.”
“Padfoot, did you forget your meds or something?”
“Oh let up, Prongs. I ALWAYS forget my medication.”
“What medication is this?”
“Moony. We’re kidding.”
“Oh. Oh, of course.”
“If I had meds to take, it’d be the fault of the rest of my starking mad family.”
“Oh most ancient, noble, and starking mad house of Black.”
“Who’s starking mad, now?”
“Oh! Hello Lily. We were just discussing Sirius’s hereditary insanity.”
“Remus, that’s not kind at all! You bunch shouldn’t talk of anyone’s family that way!”
“James, boy, stop drooling. Now, Lily dear, you should know they’re only saying the truth. My family is starking mad.”
“You do know that you’re part of that family.”
“Nope! I was disowned! Didn’t you hear?”
“Oh Sirius! I’m so sorry!”
“Why? We threw a party.”
“…”
“What’s with the look?”
“Now I remember why I don’t wander over here… and James if you keep staring at my arse I’m going to kick you in a certain spot that girls don’t have. Good day! Hmfp.”
“… James… James.”
“No, no, Wormtail, you’re doing it all wrong. Hey, Prongs, guess what I’ve got, it’s pink and frilly and might have been wore by a certain redhead”
“Ooooh! Let me see Padfoot!”
“Psh, like I would, Prongs, if I had something so wonderful. There’d be no sharing something so pink and frilly.”
“Oh jeeze. You’re mad.”
“Starking mad.”
“Oh lovely. I feel a headache coming on.”
“Oh, you’re no fun, Moony. You’ve still got five whole days ‘til your anger gets fur.”
“You know, though, I would share my pink frilly collection if one was to join me in my insanity.”
“Pads.”
“Yes, Moony dearest?”
“You and Prongs are NOT prancing around the castle in pink and frilly unspeakable items.”
“…”
“Damnit”
“OH BOY! You always have the BEST ideas Moony!”
“No, no, no!”
“Messer Padfoot! Let us retire to the common room to plan!”
“Of course, Messer Prongs!”
“…”
“Do you think they really have pink and-”
“Wormtail.”
“Shutting up.”
FF.net version
Genre: Harry Potter, Marauder-Era
Rating: PG14
Pairings: vague James/Lily, any others are unintentional.
Summary: Remus tries to get a decent photo of all the Marauders, during Seventh Year, randomness ensues. Purely Dialogue.
Dedication: To Jackie, for causing this. I blame you
“Sirius! Stop pulling my hair!”
“Oh stop being a girl, Prongs. You know you like it.”
“I swear, if you two screw up this photo, I’m going to murder you both.”
“Oh Moony, you couldn’t ever kill Padfoot.”
“Don’t push me, Wormtail, or you’ll be on my list as well.”
“Shutting up!”
“Doesn’t anyone love me?”
“Oh go snog Lily, you bloody ponce.”
“Aw, Moony’s all angry and adorable!”
“Padfoot. Shut. Up. Now.”
“Psh. Everyone loves me.”
“Okay everyone smile.”
-FLASH-
“PADFOOT. My hair, please!
“Sure thing, Prongs.”
“YOW. I didn’t mean pull harder you twit. Let go!”
“Aw but it’s how I show that I luuuuuve you.”
“Wormtail, kick Padfoot for me.”
“Okay.”
“Ow! That was me, Peter!”
“Sorry, Moony.”
“OW. Wormtail!”
“Sorry, sorry. Stop moving Padfoot.”
“Yea, ‘cause I’m really going to LET you kick me, Wormy.”
“ It’s Wormtail, not Wormy!”
“Oh c’mon, we gave you the nickname, we can shorten it if we like.”
“You know, Peter, Wormy isn’t any better then Wormtail.”
“Moony, you’re not helping.”
“But I LIKE my nickname.”
“…”
“Because it represents my anim- MRFT!”
“Dearest Messer Wormy, you know better then to say such things aloud in public.”
“Sorry, Prongs.”
“Psh, I like Wormtail better then Wormy too. Wormy implies we feed him worms or something, then people would start feeding them to starving people to gain the same weight as our Wormtail has.”
“…”
“What?”
“Padfoot. I think I speak for everyone when I say, keep your insanity to yourself.”
“Aw Moony, you know you have enough insanity for all of us, what with all your books.”
“That doesn’t even make sense, Pads.”
“Padfoot, did you forget your meds or something?”
“Oh let up, Prongs. I ALWAYS forget my medication.”
“What medication is this?”
“Moony. We’re kidding.”
“Oh. Oh, of course.”
“If I had meds to take, it’d be the fault of the rest of my starking mad family.”
“Oh most ancient, noble, and starking mad house of Black.”
“Who’s starking mad, now?”
“Oh! Hello Lily. We were just discussing Sirius’s hereditary insanity.”
“Remus, that’s not kind at all! You bunch shouldn’t talk of anyone’s family that way!”
“James, boy, stop drooling. Now, Lily dear, you should know they’re only saying the truth. My family is starking mad.”
“You do know that you’re part of that family.”
“Nope! I was disowned! Didn’t you hear?”
“Oh Sirius! I’m so sorry!”
“Why? We threw a party.”
“…”
“What’s with the look?”
“Now I remember why I don’t wander over here… and James if you keep staring at my arse I’m going to kick you in a certain spot that girls don’t have. Good day! Hmfp.”
“… James… James.”
“No, no, Wormtail, you’re doing it all wrong. Hey, Prongs, guess what I’ve got, it’s pink and frilly and might have been wore by a certain redhead”
“Ooooh! Let me see Padfoot!”
“Psh, like I would, Prongs, if I had something so wonderful. There’d be no sharing something so pink and frilly.”
“Oh jeeze. You’re mad.”
“Starking mad.”
“Oh lovely. I feel a headache coming on.”
“Oh, you’re no fun, Moony. You’ve still got five whole days ‘til your anger gets fur.”
“You know, though, I would share my pink frilly collection if one was to join me in my insanity.”
“Pads.”
“Yes, Moony dearest?”
“You and Prongs are NOT prancing around the castle in pink and frilly unspeakable items.”
“…”
“Damnit”
“OH BOY! You always have the BEST ideas Moony!”
“No, no, no!”
“Messer Padfoot! Let us retire to the common room to plan!”
“Of course, Messer Prongs!”
“…”
“Do you think they really have pink and-”
“Wormtail.”
“Shutting up.”
FF.net version