Nothing's changed / I still love you, oh I still love you / ...only slightly, only slightly less...
...than I used to, my love."
"I'm writing this to say
In a gentle way
Thank You - but no
I will live my life as I
Will undoubtedly die - alone"
A few recent observations:
(1) life may be meaningless, and it may not matter in the long-term, but goddammit, all we have is today --so treat it like it matters, because it does....but isn't life meaningless?
(2) I'm not smart, I'm just educated.
(3) the irony of life! In terms of Multiple Intelligence theory, I excel verbally-linguistically. That has always been my strong suit. The unfortunate reality, however, is that the area I am usually weakest in is Interpersonal. So, yes, I can technically speak or write well (I beg to differ, but others observe that), but what good does it do if I suffer on an interpersonal level?
(4) I have been digging deeper, to find out how I got to where I am today. Dear God! I have a lot of repressed memories, fears, anxieties, tensions. My obsession with looking backward is in an attempt to go forward. The results tend to be mixed. It is not clear or distinct (as the memories of a depressed person generally are not), but the first moments of life I remember are being in that hospital bed at age 2 (or maybe I'd turned 3? I was in the hospital for my 3rd birthday).
(5) time. I wish I had a better grasp of the concept, how to manage it, and what it really means. Everyone is so pressed for time.
This entry did not address what I wanted to. That is probably a good thing.
"I'm writing this to say
In a gentle way
Thank You - but no
I will live my life as I
Will undoubtedly die - alone"
A few recent observations:
(1) life may be meaningless, and it may not matter in the long-term, but goddammit, all we have is today --so treat it like it matters, because it does....but isn't life meaningless?
(2) I'm not smart, I'm just educated.
(3) the irony of life! In terms of Multiple Intelligence theory, I excel verbally-linguistically. That has always been my strong suit. The unfortunate reality, however, is that the area I am usually weakest in is Interpersonal. So, yes, I can technically speak or write well (I beg to differ, but others observe that), but what good does it do if I suffer on an interpersonal level?
(4) I have been digging deeper, to find out how I got to where I am today. Dear God! I have a lot of repressed memories, fears, anxieties, tensions. My obsession with looking backward is in an attempt to go forward. The results tend to be mixed. It is not clear or distinct (as the memories of a depressed person generally are not), but the first moments of life I remember are being in that hospital bed at age 2 (or maybe I'd turned 3? I was in the hospital for my 3rd birthday).
(5) time. I wish I had a better grasp of the concept, how to manage it, and what it really means. Everyone is so pressed for time.
This entry did not address what I wanted to. That is probably a good thing.