scenes from a Tuesday: election day and structure
I'm not sure what today holds in store, as I have a lot less structure than I was anticipating. The classes are taking a quiz today; I don't have my evening class like I thought I did. What will I do?
Also, today is election day in America. Voter turnout is expected to be particularly low, as it is not a presidential election (the ones that receive the highest turnout) or a mid-term election (second highest; mostly the party base that turns out). I have cast my ballot --have you?
Today is one of those elections that definitely matters a lot more than people realise. It may (depending on turnout) be an indication of where America will go in 2012. That election is less than a year away (6 November 2012), but it is an eternity in politics. But, enough about that material and intellectual squabbling...
At this morning's meeting, I finally got to share about the concert and the gratitude I have been feeling. It was, as most meetings tend to be these days, quite serendipitous. It was as if I had anticipated the meeting; I spent the walk over there thinking about what I am grateful for nowadays.
One of the most important things for me in sobriety is that those negative reactions, the frothy emotional appeals, the shouts and fights, the bitterness and tension are starting to melt away. This past week alone, I received numerous compliments: from staff at the high school I am student teaching at; from university professors; from kids at the high school; from my sister; from members of the fellowship. I was referred to as positive and enthusiastic; as ready to take over the classroom; as being smart and well-educated; and of having made progress.
From 2007-10 --truly the worst years of my active addiction-- no one would have said any of the above. I wasn't positive; I wasn't even in the classroom; I may have been well-educated, but it wasn't doing any good; in truth, it was a miracle I finished the degrees in 4 years; and as far as progress? Unless you count weight gain as progress, none was apparent.
I spent that time sleeping, eating, drinking, gambling. My mind had become sluggish and I was dull. But I don't want to dwell on that. I have come a long way from that, I think --but there is still more to do. There will always be more to do.
Today I feel positive and closer to being balanced. The mental obsessions to drink and gamble are gone. The energy I am feeling is not that scary, manic feeling; I know what I am feeling will last --if I'm willing to work for it.
Also, today is election day in America. Voter turnout is expected to be particularly low, as it is not a presidential election (the ones that receive the highest turnout) or a mid-term election (second highest; mostly the party base that turns out). I have cast my ballot --have you?
Today is one of those elections that definitely matters a lot more than people realise. It may (depending on turnout) be an indication of where America will go in 2012. That election is less than a year away (6 November 2012), but it is an eternity in politics. But, enough about that material and intellectual squabbling...
At this morning's meeting, I finally got to share about the concert and the gratitude I have been feeling. It was, as most meetings tend to be these days, quite serendipitous. It was as if I had anticipated the meeting; I spent the walk over there thinking about what I am grateful for nowadays.
One of the most important things for me in sobriety is that those negative reactions, the frothy emotional appeals, the shouts and fights, the bitterness and tension are starting to melt away. This past week alone, I received numerous compliments: from staff at the high school I am student teaching at; from university professors; from kids at the high school; from my sister; from members of the fellowship. I was referred to as positive and enthusiastic; as ready to take over the classroom; as being smart and well-educated; and of having made progress.
From 2007-10 --truly the worst years of my active addiction-- no one would have said any of the above. I wasn't positive; I wasn't even in the classroom; I may have been well-educated, but it wasn't doing any good; in truth, it was a miracle I finished the degrees in 4 years; and as far as progress? Unless you count weight gain as progress, none was apparent.
I spent that time sleeping, eating, drinking, gambling. My mind had become sluggish and I was dull. But I don't want to dwell on that. I have come a long way from that, I think --but there is still more to do. There will always be more to do.
Today I feel positive and closer to being balanced. The mental obsessions to drink and gamble are gone. The energy I am feeling is not that scary, manic feeling; I know what I am feeling will last --if I'm willing to work for it.